Chapter 28: When Insecurity Becomes an Issue

Anya turned to the right, then to the left, drawing her brows together as she scrutinized her reflection. She was too deep in her thought that she didn't hear Spike entering the room.

"Ahn, what are you doing?" Anya only glanced at him over the mirror, then continued examining her body as she brought her hands to cup her breasts.

"I wanna get breast implant. I don't think they're big enough for my body size. Do you think they're big enough for me?" Spike gulped, jaws almost dropped to the floor as his mouth kept opening and closing.

"Uhh…Well, uh…they're normal size for you…I guess…" He said in discomfort.

She pondered his answer as she turned back to the mirror, still cupping her breasts in her hands. "But I wanna have big breasts like Tara, you know. All soft and milky… inviting you to come to them and caress them, and lick them…" A dreamy look on her face, she pushed her breasts up.

Spike was wide-eyed. He swallowed hard at the imagery Anya had provided him. He open his mouth again but nothing escaped him. His voice cracked when he finally found it and stepped out of his stupor. "Right…I think I should let you do…whatever you're doing right now. I'll—be upstairs when you're ready."

Just before Spike could escape, the phone rang shrilly. Deciding to ignore Anya, he went to pick it up. "Hello?" 

"Hey, what are you doing today?" A smile tugged at his lips.

"Well, I'm—"

"Come on, Spike! We're gonna be late!" Anya yelled.

"Yeah, I'm coming! I'm sorry, luv. I have to go now. Call you later?"

"Oh, o-okay."

"Great!" Spike hung up as soon as he heard her response. Grabbing his jacket, he jogged up out of the 'crypt', smiling sheepishly when he saw Anya tapping her foot impatiently outside.

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Today went by very slowly, and Buffy was grateful that she was finally home. Closed the bathroom door, she stripped off her clothes and tested the water before she sunk into the tub. She laid back, her eyes closed as warm water washed her tired body.

"God, been looking forward to this." She murmured, hand began scrubbing her chest and arm with a sponge.

A knock came through, followed by her mother's voice. "Buffy! A call for you." She groaned. Can't a girl be alone for a while?

"Come in, mom!" Joyce open the door, smiling as she handed the wireless.

"It's Spike."

Saying her thanks, Buffy waited until her mother closed the door behind her.

"Hey you. What's up?"

"Your mum said you took a bath. How's the cleansing going?" She laughed, splashed some water when she tossed the sponge next to her feet.

"You're calling me just to ask me that?"

"Well, yeah. Help me out with the imagination here. Which part are you touching now?"

She snorted. "Perv! I ain't gonna tell you nothing." A smile touched her lips.

"Oh, come on. Are you touching your breasts? Or is it your c—"

"I'm hanging up now!" Buffy cut him off, crimson blush covering her face. Warm water felt hotter. Rich laughter was heard from the other end of the line.

"Wait, wait! Don't hang up! I was just gonna ask you if you feel like going out tonight."

Buffy smiled to herself. She knew she was tired, but she thought spending a few hours outside tonight wouldn't be so bad. Besides, she was actually looking forward to go out with him this afternoon, if only it wasn't for Spike having another plan…with his new friends. She didn't understand why she still felt strongly against them. She was jealous, she admitted that. But geez, get over it, Buffy! Her mind scolded her.

"Well…" She paused when she heard a female calling him.

"Hold on a sec!" Pursing her lips together, she waited for Spike to talk to the girl and finally be alone again.

"I'm sorry, pet. Anya forgot her book. You were saying…?"

She swapped the phone to the other ear. "Um, sorry, I'm really worn out today. I think I'm going to bed straight after this."

"Oh. Well, alright then." Disappointment masked his voice. "Guess I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Switched the phone off and placed it on the floor, she sank her body deeper.

Why was she doing this? She went jealous all over again, just as soon as she heard Anya's voice. Spike had stated that Anya was his friend, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was more than that, judging by the way they acted around each other. But then again, she might be wrong. Their manners reminded her of hers and Spike's used to be before they took a further level of their relationship. She remembered how they used to be mistaken as an on and off couple. They didn't care what people thought of them at that time, as long as they both knew that nothing happened between them. They showed their affection to each other as they pleased. They could hug or snuggle and would roll their eyes when someone insisted that they'd make a great couple.

Yet it was their behaviour that finally brought them together. Buffy closed her eyes, head leaning on her hand while her elbow propped on the edge of the tub. She wasn't sure what she was afraid of. Maybe she was fearing that what had happened to her and Spike would happen to Anya and him. That their friendship would take another step. And where would she be when this happened? Would they still remain friends like they used to when it's all over?

She jumped when she heard a bang on the door. "Buffy, you okay? You've been inside for hours." Joyce asked behind the closed door, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm okay, mom! Be ready in a minute!" Running her hand on her head, Buffy pushed her thoughts away. She spared a glance on the wireless as she stepped out of the tub and wrapped her body with towel. She wanted to talk to him, but she didn't have the energy to discuss anything tonight. Right now, she just wanted to hit the bed and save her thoughts for tomorrow.

to be continued.