Chapter 19: Goodbye to You
Friday......
[Rory]
"Let's go!" Lorelai said.
"All my clothes are packed!" Rory called from her bedroom.
Lorelai came in Rory's bedroom.
"What you're wearing is fine," Lorelai said.
"I'm wearing sweats," Rory said. "I cannot wear sweats to these things."
"Sure, you can," Lorelai said.
"Not when you're wearing that," Rory said, pointing at her mother's blue v-neck shirt with the matching black skirt. Yeah, it was casual, but it was nicer than the sweats Rory was wearing.
"Hang on," Lorelai said, going upstairs.
When she came back down she had a blue casual peasant dress.
"There," Lorelai said. "Now come on. We should've been there five minutes ago."
After a quick change, Rory and her mom went to the town square to help Sookie and Michel, who grudgingly agreed to come, set up. The first person Rory spoke to there was Michel.
"So, it's true," Michel said. "You are leaving."
"This must be the happiest day of your life," Rory said.
"Actually, no," Michel said. "The happiest day of my life will be when your mother moves because if she does, she will no longer torture me."
"She'd still find ways," Rory said.
"Of course she would," Michel said.
"You know, Michel," Rory said. "I know I annoy you, too, but I'm really going to miss you."
"I will miss you, too, Rory," Michel said.
"Would it be creepy if I hugged you?" Rory asked.
"Go ahead," Michel said.
Rory gave Michel a short hug and then pulled away.
"That was a little weird," Rory said.
"Kind of," Michel replied.
"Rory!" called a voice.
Lane was standing over by the gazebo with an empty table and some equipment next to it. Rory shrieked and ran over and gave Lane a hug.
"You're back!" Rory said, releasing Lane. "What are you doing here and what took you so long? You've been gone for almost two months!"
"To answer your second question, I was with Dave, as you know," Lane said. "And we were packing his stuff. He's moving into my apartment!"
They squealed and hugged again. Rory managed to be happy for her best friend and all thoughts of the move and Dean vanished.
"To answer your second question," Lane continued, setting up her equipment. "I called your house to tell you I was coming back and your mom said that you were moving to New York and that tonight was the going away party. I volunteered to DJ, like I did at her engagement party and decided to surprise you."
"Well, this was a very nice surprise," Rory said. "Thank you."
"So, tell me what's up with you," Lane said. "I mean, last I heard, you moved out of Noah's."
Rory told Lane everything. The wedding, sleeping with Dean, then telling Dean she needed space, the divorce with Noah, the fight with Dean, and the fact that the whole town was talking about them.
"Wow," Lane said once she was done.
"Yeah," Rory said.
"So, that's why you're moving," Lane said.
"Kind of," Rory said. "How do you know these things?"
"I've known you for twenty-two years," Lane said. "I know these things. But, in all seriousness, you can't run away from these things."
"I'll come back and visit," Rory said.
"I know," Lane said.
A half hour later the party began. Everyone talked to Rory and told her how much they were going to miss her and gave her house warming gifts and other gifts, even the people who were on Dean's side in the whole fiasco between the two of them. Rory, later, walked up to the table to give Lane a CD to play.
"Hey, Mr. DJ, put a record on," Rory said, handing her a Mazzy Star CD.
"Aw," Lane said. "I'm going to miss that."
"Me, too," Rory said. "So, you haven't seen Dean, have you?"
"Nope," Lane said.
Rory told Lane she was avoiding him and if Lane were to see him, she had to put on XTC as a signal that she saw Dean.
"I'll keep you posted," Lane said, putting the Mazzy Star CD into the CD player.
"Thanks," Rory said, walking away.
"Fade Into You" started playing. Rory forgot that that song was on that CD. She sat down on a bench on the gazebo. She and Dean slow danced to that song at that winter formal. She remembered that night. It was perfect despite Dean's almost-fight with Tristin, Louise flirting with Dean, and her almost-blow out with Paris. Tears came to her eyes.
All of a sudden, Rory saw him through the blurriness of her tears. He was on the other side of the square, wearing jeans and a dark blue t- shirt. He saw her, too. He made his way through the crowd.
Lane didn't see him because XTC didn't come on. I guess I can't avoid him anymore, Rory thought. She blinked back her tears and remained where she was as he climbed up the steps to where she was.
[Dean]
Dean had stayed at the party for two hours, but couldn't find Rory. He only spoke to Lorelai, Michel, and Sookie. Everyone else he avoided because they would either give him sympathetic or rude comments or ask him what he was doing there.
Dean had to talk to Rory. He'd re-applied to some part-time classes at South Connecticut State and was thinking of applying full-time so she didn't have to move, but he didn't see her.
"Fade Into You" started playing and Dean's mind briefly flashed back to when he took Rory to the formal. It was perfect despite some minor details. This memory only motivated him more to find Rory.
Dean was just about to give up when he saw her sitting all by herself on the gazebo. She was looking his way, too. He made his way through the crowd of people talking and dancing and climbed up the steps of the gazebo.
"Hi," Dean said.
"Hi," Rory responded.
"Mind if I sit down?" Dean asked.
"I guess not," Rory said, scooting over a bit.
Dean sighed as he sat down. They sat for a few minutes in silence. It was more awkward than anything.
"Are you really moving to New York?" Dean asked.
"Mom wouldn't be throwing the party if I wasn't," Rory said, sounding a little distant.
"You don't have to move you know," Dean said. "I mean, I could move you know. I actually re-applied to some part-time classes and I'm considering going full time, so you don't have to move if you're worried about running into me....."
Dean trailed off. He was seriously babbling, a thing he almost never did.
"You're not the only reason I'm moving," Rory said. "What classes are you taking?"
He wasn't expecting that.
"Just a few," Dean said. "I'm studying to be a Special Ed teacher."
"Special Ed, teacher?" Rory asked. "Really?"
"Yeah," Dean said.
"You really want to work with kids who have emotional problems?" Rory asked.
"Clara's in Special Ed, you know," Dean said.
"She is?"
"Yeah."
"I didn't know that."
"Yeah, depression kind of runs in the family."
Rory's head snapped in Dean's direction and her eyes went wide.
"You're depressed?" Rory asked.
"I'm not," Dean said. "It run's on my father's side of the family. I escaped it. Clara got it. She has problems in school, so she's in a special program."
"I'm sorry," Rory said.
"It's okay," Dean said.
More silence passed. "Fade Into You" ended and "Earn Enough for Us" by XTC started playing. Rory walked across the gazebo and leaned over the rail to Lane.
"Too little, too late, Lane," she said.
"Sorry," Lane said.
Rory came back over and sat down next to him. Dean exhaled, just realizing he was holding his breath.
"Can we get back to you?" Dean asked.
"What about me?" Rory asked.
"If you're not leaving because of me, then why are you moving?" Dean asked.
"A lot of stuff happened over the past two months," Rory said. "The divorce with Noah, the thing with you and me, the whole town talking about me........about us. I just can't deal with it. I need to get away."
Dean was about to tell her that she just couldn't run away from these things, but something inside him told him not to. More silence passed before he spoke again.
"Rory," Dean said. "I'm sorry I said what I said about you and Jess."
"It's okay," Rory said. "You were right. I totally took advantage of you and then I didn't even wallow over you before getting together with Jess."
More silence passed. Is this what it's going to be like between me and her from now on? Dean thought.
"I'm sorry for what I said about you and Lindsay," Rory said.
"It's okay," Dean said. "You were right. I didn't know it at the time, but I do now. I was desperate to get over you, so I went out with her and married her and......the whole thing was an ugly mess."
"So, we forgive each other?" Rory asked.
"Yeah," Dean said.
For the fiftieth time that night, another moment of silence passed. "Earn Enough for Us Ended" and "The Weakest Shade of Blue" by the Pernice Brothers started playing.
"So, what happens now?" Rory asked. "I think we're a little too awkward to each other to be friends."
"We can be friendly," Dean said.
"Friendly?" Rory repeated.
"Yeah," Dean said.
"So, we're walking down the street," Rory said. "And we bump into each other, say hi, and have a normal conversation and then go our separate ways?"
"I guess so," Dean said. "But, now you don't have to move now, right?"
Rory looked down at the ground.
"I'm still moving, Dean," she said.
"What?" Dean exclaimed. "Why?"
"Because I can't....." she trailed off and exhaled. "It doesn't matter."
She didn't say anything. He understood what she was staying. She still couldn't be around him. Dean stood up.
"I understand," he said. "Take care of yourself, Lorelai Gilmore."
"You, too, Dean Forester," she responded.
Rory stood up and walked down to Lane by the DJ table. Dean walked down the steps of the gazebo and went home. He sat down on the couch and stared and light a fire in the fireplace.
Dean didn't know what to do. He loved Rory. He loved her more than anything. He couldn't move on. He didn't want to destroy another women's life for Rory. But, he didn't know if he would ever move on. He loved her and she would never know. He probably would never even see her again.
[Rory]
"So, what time are you leaving tomorrow?" Lorelai asked, as they walked inside the house.
"Seven," Rory said.
"Will you wake me up before you leave?" Lorelai asked.
"You don't like being woken up that early," Rory said.
"I still want you to wake me up before you go-go," Lorelai said.
"I will," Rory said.
They hugged and said goodnight. Rory didn't tell her mother about her conversation with Dean. It still stuck in her head. What she almost told him still stuck in her head. What she was going to say was that she couldn't stay because it still hurt being around him and knowing that she couldn't have him.
Rory was really going to miss Dean and her mother, but right now she was missing Dean. It hurt so badly, but God knew when she would see him again. He didn't know how much she loved him and he never would.
"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to"- Michelle Branch
To Be Continued........
A/N: Corny, I know. The football coach at my school is a Special Ed teacher so that's why I think Dean's ideally suited for a Special Ed teacher. Chapter 20 is coming soon. Get ready for major corniness (joke).
Friday......
[Rory]
"Let's go!" Lorelai said.
"All my clothes are packed!" Rory called from her bedroom.
Lorelai came in Rory's bedroom.
"What you're wearing is fine," Lorelai said.
"I'm wearing sweats," Rory said. "I cannot wear sweats to these things."
"Sure, you can," Lorelai said.
"Not when you're wearing that," Rory said, pointing at her mother's blue v-neck shirt with the matching black skirt. Yeah, it was casual, but it was nicer than the sweats Rory was wearing.
"Hang on," Lorelai said, going upstairs.
When she came back down she had a blue casual peasant dress.
"There," Lorelai said. "Now come on. We should've been there five minutes ago."
After a quick change, Rory and her mom went to the town square to help Sookie and Michel, who grudgingly agreed to come, set up. The first person Rory spoke to there was Michel.
"So, it's true," Michel said. "You are leaving."
"This must be the happiest day of your life," Rory said.
"Actually, no," Michel said. "The happiest day of my life will be when your mother moves because if she does, she will no longer torture me."
"She'd still find ways," Rory said.
"Of course she would," Michel said.
"You know, Michel," Rory said. "I know I annoy you, too, but I'm really going to miss you."
"I will miss you, too, Rory," Michel said.
"Would it be creepy if I hugged you?" Rory asked.
"Go ahead," Michel said.
Rory gave Michel a short hug and then pulled away.
"That was a little weird," Rory said.
"Kind of," Michel replied.
"Rory!" called a voice.
Lane was standing over by the gazebo with an empty table and some equipment next to it. Rory shrieked and ran over and gave Lane a hug.
"You're back!" Rory said, releasing Lane. "What are you doing here and what took you so long? You've been gone for almost two months!"
"To answer your second question, I was with Dave, as you know," Lane said. "And we were packing his stuff. He's moving into my apartment!"
They squealed and hugged again. Rory managed to be happy for her best friend and all thoughts of the move and Dean vanished.
"To answer your second question," Lane continued, setting up her equipment. "I called your house to tell you I was coming back and your mom said that you were moving to New York and that tonight was the going away party. I volunteered to DJ, like I did at her engagement party and decided to surprise you."
"Well, this was a very nice surprise," Rory said. "Thank you."
"So, tell me what's up with you," Lane said. "I mean, last I heard, you moved out of Noah's."
Rory told Lane everything. The wedding, sleeping with Dean, then telling Dean she needed space, the divorce with Noah, the fight with Dean, and the fact that the whole town was talking about them.
"Wow," Lane said once she was done.
"Yeah," Rory said.
"So, that's why you're moving," Lane said.
"Kind of," Rory said. "How do you know these things?"
"I've known you for twenty-two years," Lane said. "I know these things. But, in all seriousness, you can't run away from these things."
"I'll come back and visit," Rory said.
"I know," Lane said.
A half hour later the party began. Everyone talked to Rory and told her how much they were going to miss her and gave her house warming gifts and other gifts, even the people who were on Dean's side in the whole fiasco between the two of them. Rory, later, walked up to the table to give Lane a CD to play.
"Hey, Mr. DJ, put a record on," Rory said, handing her a Mazzy Star CD.
"Aw," Lane said. "I'm going to miss that."
"Me, too," Rory said. "So, you haven't seen Dean, have you?"
"Nope," Lane said.
Rory told Lane she was avoiding him and if Lane were to see him, she had to put on XTC as a signal that she saw Dean.
"I'll keep you posted," Lane said, putting the Mazzy Star CD into the CD player.
"Thanks," Rory said, walking away.
"Fade Into You" started playing. Rory forgot that that song was on that CD. She sat down on a bench on the gazebo. She and Dean slow danced to that song at that winter formal. She remembered that night. It was perfect despite Dean's almost-fight with Tristin, Louise flirting with Dean, and her almost-blow out with Paris. Tears came to her eyes.
All of a sudden, Rory saw him through the blurriness of her tears. He was on the other side of the square, wearing jeans and a dark blue t- shirt. He saw her, too. He made his way through the crowd.
Lane didn't see him because XTC didn't come on. I guess I can't avoid him anymore, Rory thought. She blinked back her tears and remained where she was as he climbed up the steps to where she was.
[Dean]
Dean had stayed at the party for two hours, but couldn't find Rory. He only spoke to Lorelai, Michel, and Sookie. Everyone else he avoided because they would either give him sympathetic or rude comments or ask him what he was doing there.
Dean had to talk to Rory. He'd re-applied to some part-time classes at South Connecticut State and was thinking of applying full-time so she didn't have to move, but he didn't see her.
"Fade Into You" started playing and Dean's mind briefly flashed back to when he took Rory to the formal. It was perfect despite some minor details. This memory only motivated him more to find Rory.
Dean was just about to give up when he saw her sitting all by herself on the gazebo. She was looking his way, too. He made his way through the crowd of people talking and dancing and climbed up the steps of the gazebo.
"Hi," Dean said.
"Hi," Rory responded.
"Mind if I sit down?" Dean asked.
"I guess not," Rory said, scooting over a bit.
Dean sighed as he sat down. They sat for a few minutes in silence. It was more awkward than anything.
"Are you really moving to New York?" Dean asked.
"Mom wouldn't be throwing the party if I wasn't," Rory said, sounding a little distant.
"You don't have to move you know," Dean said. "I mean, I could move you know. I actually re-applied to some part-time classes and I'm considering going full time, so you don't have to move if you're worried about running into me....."
Dean trailed off. He was seriously babbling, a thing he almost never did.
"You're not the only reason I'm moving," Rory said. "What classes are you taking?"
He wasn't expecting that.
"Just a few," Dean said. "I'm studying to be a Special Ed teacher."
"Special Ed, teacher?" Rory asked. "Really?"
"Yeah," Dean said.
"You really want to work with kids who have emotional problems?" Rory asked.
"Clara's in Special Ed, you know," Dean said.
"She is?"
"Yeah."
"I didn't know that."
"Yeah, depression kind of runs in the family."
Rory's head snapped in Dean's direction and her eyes went wide.
"You're depressed?" Rory asked.
"I'm not," Dean said. "It run's on my father's side of the family. I escaped it. Clara got it. She has problems in school, so she's in a special program."
"I'm sorry," Rory said.
"It's okay," Dean said.
More silence passed. "Fade Into You" ended and "Earn Enough for Us" by XTC started playing. Rory walked across the gazebo and leaned over the rail to Lane.
"Too little, too late, Lane," she said.
"Sorry," Lane said.
Rory came back over and sat down next to him. Dean exhaled, just realizing he was holding his breath.
"Can we get back to you?" Dean asked.
"What about me?" Rory asked.
"If you're not leaving because of me, then why are you moving?" Dean asked.
"A lot of stuff happened over the past two months," Rory said. "The divorce with Noah, the thing with you and me, the whole town talking about me........about us. I just can't deal with it. I need to get away."
Dean was about to tell her that she just couldn't run away from these things, but something inside him told him not to. More silence passed before he spoke again.
"Rory," Dean said. "I'm sorry I said what I said about you and Jess."
"It's okay," Rory said. "You were right. I totally took advantage of you and then I didn't even wallow over you before getting together with Jess."
More silence passed. Is this what it's going to be like between me and her from now on? Dean thought.
"I'm sorry for what I said about you and Lindsay," Rory said.
"It's okay," Dean said. "You were right. I didn't know it at the time, but I do now. I was desperate to get over you, so I went out with her and married her and......the whole thing was an ugly mess."
"So, we forgive each other?" Rory asked.
"Yeah," Dean said.
For the fiftieth time that night, another moment of silence passed. "Earn Enough for Us Ended" and "The Weakest Shade of Blue" by the Pernice Brothers started playing.
"So, what happens now?" Rory asked. "I think we're a little too awkward to each other to be friends."
"We can be friendly," Dean said.
"Friendly?" Rory repeated.
"Yeah," Dean said.
"So, we're walking down the street," Rory said. "And we bump into each other, say hi, and have a normal conversation and then go our separate ways?"
"I guess so," Dean said. "But, now you don't have to move now, right?"
Rory looked down at the ground.
"I'm still moving, Dean," she said.
"What?" Dean exclaimed. "Why?"
"Because I can't....." she trailed off and exhaled. "It doesn't matter."
She didn't say anything. He understood what she was staying. She still couldn't be around him. Dean stood up.
"I understand," he said. "Take care of yourself, Lorelai Gilmore."
"You, too, Dean Forester," she responded.
Rory stood up and walked down to Lane by the DJ table. Dean walked down the steps of the gazebo and went home. He sat down on the couch and stared and light a fire in the fireplace.
Dean didn't know what to do. He loved Rory. He loved her more than anything. He couldn't move on. He didn't want to destroy another women's life for Rory. But, he didn't know if he would ever move on. He loved her and she would never know. He probably would never even see her again.
[Rory]
"So, what time are you leaving tomorrow?" Lorelai asked, as they walked inside the house.
"Seven," Rory said.
"Will you wake me up before you leave?" Lorelai asked.
"You don't like being woken up that early," Rory said.
"I still want you to wake me up before you go-go," Lorelai said.
"I will," Rory said.
They hugged and said goodnight. Rory didn't tell her mother about her conversation with Dean. It still stuck in her head. What she almost told him still stuck in her head. What she was going to say was that she couldn't stay because it still hurt being around him and knowing that she couldn't have him.
Rory was really going to miss Dean and her mother, but right now she was missing Dean. It hurt so badly, but God knew when she would see him again. He didn't know how much she loved him and he never would.
"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to"- Michelle Branch
To Be Continued........
A/N: Corny, I know. The football coach at my school is a Special Ed teacher so that's why I think Dean's ideally suited for a Special Ed teacher. Chapter 20 is coming soon. Get ready for major corniness (joke).