Ron hoisted Percy onto his back and set off towards Dumbledore's office. Professor Trelawney and Draco followed a ways behind, stopping frequently to take sips out of Professor Trelawney's "special pouch."
"Ugh! Why do I always get the bad jobs?" Ron shouted out loud.
After a while, they got into Dumbledore's office. They sat down on chairs and didn't say anything for awhile.
"Sooo, what do we do now?" asked Draco. Ron shrugged, but Trelawney stood up. "Let's play truth or dare!"
"Umm, okay," said Ron.
Trelawney turned to Ron, "Truth or DARE?" she asks.
"Umm, truth..." he sputtered out.
"I truth you to get me a bottle of sherry," she said.
"TRELAWNEY" exclaimed Ron.
"Allright, allright, who do you like better, Cho Chang or Hermione Granger?"
Ron sputtered, "Is that even a QUESTION? Cho Chang of course."
Draco turned to him, "Well, it seemed to me like things were setting up for a relationship between you and Hermione."
He shook his head, "What have YOU been reading? I'm a guy, and therefore a pig, and I obviously want the hottest bitch money can buy, and that's why I like Cho. Sure, in 10 years she'll be fat and unattractive just like everyone else, but by then I'll have a girlfriend on the side so it all works out."
Meanwhile, Hermione and Professor Snape were curled up in the basement as the pink vapors started taking their effects.
"Who's my little Schmookiddy?" said Professor Snape in a sickeningly sweet voice as he started butterfly kissing Hermione.
"Aww, my dear Stinky Pants!" Hermione exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "Here," she said pulling a banana from her robe. "I took these at dinner, we can each have one, you little sweety!"
Hermione went to open her banana, but Snape quickly grabbed her hand. "No, my dearest. Let's not eat them just yet. I have a plan." He picked up his banana and ran to the other side of the room.
"Ring ring! Banana phone!" he said placing the banana to his ear like a telephone. "I would like to speak to the most beautiful girl in the world please!"
"Oh schnookums! You are too sweet!" exclaimed Hermione, placing her own banana to her ear.
Yes, this went on for hours until they had nothing more to talk about.
"You hang up, my little Sugar Booger!" said Hermioine.
"No, you hang up first, Sweet Cheeks!" said Snape.
"I love you Snape-wapey!" said Hermione. "You hang up first though."
"I love you too, Hermoine-whiney," said Snape. "But you must hang up first."
"No, you hang up first."
"No, you hang up first."
You can about imagine how this went on -- FOR THE NEXT TWO HOURS! It's a BANANA people, you can't even hang it up! Finally, when it looked like Snape and Hermione would be on the banana phone forever, a man burst into the room.
"I'll hang up first!" he said, grabbing both the bananas away from their lovesick owners. It was none other than Dumbledore.