"Oooh! We have guests!" exclaimed Professor Trelawney as the door to Dumbledore's office swung open.
She was standing on top of Dumbledore's desk with her skirt tied around her head and her long bloomers exposed underneath. On the floor to her right, Draco Malfoy was in a French maid's outfit dusting Ron Weasley with a long, ornate feather duster. Ron appeared to be passed out on the floor.
"Umm, Sybil, would you mind putting your dress back down and getting off my dress please?" said Dumbledore.
"Okay," she said, "but you'll have to catch me first! Hoo hoo hoo hooo!!!!" she screamed as she ran in circles around the room. Dumbledore stood stationary watching as she ran in small circles. After a few laps, a very dizzy and disoriented Trelawney made her way to Dumbledore.
She got right in his face and held tightly to her skirt, which looked like a hood around her face. "I am the Great Cornhoulio and I need TP for my bunghole!" She started to run around again and BANG!
Everyone turned towards Cho Chang, who was once again standing with a smoking gun. "Like I said before, tacky."
"That's still no excuse for shooting people, Miss Chang," said Professor Snape who had regained his conciousness. "Twenty points from Ravenclaw!"
"Twenty points just for shooting someone?" sighed Cho. "My only regret is that I didn't make it a kill shot."
Unlike the telegram woman, Professor Trelawney was still very much alive, though the trauma from the gunshot knocked her out cold.
"Err, anyway, down to business," said Dumbledore. "The entire time we spent looking for clues was pretty much a waste. All we've managed to do is piss off the Ministry of Magic, kill an innocent woman, release a giant creature into the halls of the school, get an underage child drunk off rum, make a respectable man guilty of Statutory Rape, and shoot a loony, but innocent Divinations teacher."
"Here here!" said Draco raising his feather duster. "Sounds like a load of accomplishments to me!" he shouted, then lowered his voice, "I was the drunk, you know."
"As I was saying," continued Dumbledore, "we're no better off than we were before. I suppose all we can do is reveal who the killer is now."
Allright, I'm just about to reveal the killer. I'll bet you're peeing your pants with anticipation right now, aren't you?