IMPORTANT UPDATE, PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING REVIEWS
I just started a new fic and read over the TOS. Apparantly, these interactive reviews are against the rules. So I am NO LONGER GOING TO BE ANSWERING ANY REVIEWS ON HERE. The ones that I already have done will stay, but do not expect me to post any new ones. It's sad for me too. I rather liked this part, but meh. I'm not going to get my story deleted because of it. Thank you for reading this, now onto the reviews that were posted before I became aware of the rules.
As my way of thanking everyone who reviewed my story, I've decided to add a section where Ron, Trelawney, and the rest respond to your reviews -- IN CHARACTER. This is all simply because I want to give something back to the people who took the time to read my fanfic, not at all because I'm bored out of my mind and I have nothing better to do with my time, nope, haha, not at all. Insert nervous laughter and shifty eyes here. In any event, here it goes!
Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Cho, Draco, Percy, Snape, McGonagall, Trelawney, and Dumbledore were all assembled in Dumbledore's office again.
"Why did you pull us out of class, Professor Dumbledore?" asked Hermione, who looked rather sulky about missing learning about muggle expressions in today's Muggle Studies class. "Today the class actually got to watch paint dry."
"Well, Miss Granger," said Dumbledore, "we are all assembled in here because ever since the night Percy got murdered, we've been reciving a lot of owls. I feel it is our civic duty to respond to each and every one of them."
"I'd rather be watching the paint dry!" said Draco. "That's incredibly dull, but certainly better than this crap!"
"SILENCE!" shouted Dumbledore. "We're answering these damned owls and I don't care if it takes us all night. Anyway, who would like to begin?"
VoldemortsVeela:
lolololololololol. omg this is fricken hilarious. Though it is rather odd. and i kept getting confused. but nothing much gets me confused so a million-ba-jillion bottles of fire-whisky for you! Maybe you'll stay drunk long enough to write another ridiculous, but hilarious story! LoLolOlOlOloo
psh rambling on just for the sake of having something to do. okay i think i'm done now. tra la la la la la laa. well, must be off!
Hermione: Thanks for your letter. And if you want to know the truth, I was confused the entire time myself. It's not you, Lammy's just a psycho. She will eventually get to writing another story. But in the meantime if you REALLY want to help, you can send either cash or booze to Lammy. Send all donations to this address:
Lammy's Cash and Booze Fund
123 Fake Street
Nowhere, Not-A-State 6969
K.P wrote:
Gah! I love it! You did a great job, and I just love dear old Dumbles in this! A BILLION points to you, LxAxMxMxY! Draco's still a stone cold fox- gotta love him! Hermione and Snape...ermm.. kinda creepy, but hell, I'll go with the flow. I thought it was adorable how Harry blamed Snape for everything. I'm going to buy a Sherry just for Trelawny, and Ginny...can have an apple. Sure. You made Cho a slut, and thats always cool. You cant have a good fanfic without a slut. Cute how Ron had the hots for her.
And just so I can squeeze McGonnagal in here, I'll ask her a mildly queer question:
Do you know...the muffin man?
Alrighty, thx for the great read!
K.P, out.
Snape: Are you saying you think there's something going on between and Miss Granger?
Hermione: Don't deny our love, Sevvy. It's all out in the open now.
Snape: Looks at Hermione disgusted. There is NOTIHNG between us.
Trelawney: Oh how I love weddings! Let's have some sherry in celebration!
Dumbledore: Hoho! I rather like this letter! A kazillion points to K.P. Looks at Professor McGonagall. Yes, Minerva, I KNOW this isn't Who's Line is it Anyway!
McGonagall: I wasn't going to say anything, Albus. Anyway, now to answer your question. I'm married to the muffin man.
Hermione: The muffin man?
McGonagall: The muffin man.
Dumbledore: Looking shocked. You're MARRIED to the muffin man?
Ron: Who lives on Drury Lane?
Draco: Boo! This is possibly the worst Shrek rip off I've ever seen in my life. K.P's obviously someone who has impecable taste and probably doesn't want to hear that crap from you.
GeorgieGryffindor wrote:
Fantastic story. By far the best Comedy Harry Potter Fanfic i have ever read and i have read heaps, im sort of addicted, but yours would have to be the best. Can you write a similar?
Ron: Thanks for your letter, GeorgieGryffindor! Lammy will get to writing another story sometime in the near future, but first she needs to find another movie to completely rip off. I don't really know a lot about addiction, but maybe you can get some help from our resident drunks to help you with yours...
Draco: Try the rum.
Trelawney: No, try the sherry.
Draco: Rum is better. I go on first and clean the hair!
Trelawney: Sherry is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth!
Draco: Oh, really, fool?
Trelawney: Really!
Draco and Trelawney start fighting with broken bottles of rum and sherry. Trelawney stops abruptly. She turns to Professor Snape.
Trelawney: Stop looking at me, swan!
McGonagall: Looks like we have two owls from Riddleness. We can answer them one at a time.
Riddleness wrote:
interesting, but everyone is ooc, although some explanation is provided for percy, it's very far fetched...and when they were under the veritaserum, couldn't someone have just said 'did you kill percy'?
(i would have read the next chapters but fanfiction says it's having heavy traffic, so i decided to review)
Ginny: Yes! Someone finally gets what I mean about the Veritaserum!
Harry: Haha, I guess we really were ooc. If this had been more realistic, all the girlies would have been all over me.
Hermione: Oh shut up Harry. You were more out of character than anyone! You sounded more like an uptarded version of Gilderoy Lockhart than Harry Potter.
McGonagall: Gaping plot holes aside, I hope you enjoyed the story. Anyway, let's answer the next letter now, shall we?
Riddleness also wrote:
LOL i love ch 20...
ok, snape, should i date draco? i mean, will his weird fascination with rum end?
o btw draco your so hot...drools
Snape: Draco Malfoy? I should have known. Humph! Fangirls...
Dumbledore: What are you so grumpy about? It's not like you don't have a million fangirls of your own. Even Lammy, the author of this martini-induced story we're in, is rumored to fancy you. But are there any Dumbledore fangirls? No! Think how I must feel. Just Google search yourself if you don't believe me.
Snape walks over to an enchanted computer in Dumbledore's office and Google searches himself.
Snape: I suppose I do have quite the following.
Draco: Ugh! Snape isn't answering your question at all, Riddleness.
Draco's voice suddenly becomes very low. He sounds like Barry White!
Draco: Anyway, Riddlness, baby. Maybe someday I can take some Floo Powder and end up down your chimney...
Hermione: You're such a pervert, Draco! Shut the hell up!
Draco: Get your mind out of the gutter, Granger! I was simply stating the fact that if I used Floo Powder to get to Riddleness's house, I'd be in the fireplace. Sheesh!
ThisWouldBeMe wrote:
in the infamous words of the guiness commercials "BRILLIANT" Oh... and I also have a question... Cho would you mind killing a kid for me... he has a square head and it's VERY TACKY! Also ron percy and ginny, could you hook me up with your brother's fred and george... they are some SEXY BEASTS! growls
THIS WOULD BE ME
Check out my stories "Harry Potter, The True Story, Book 1"
and
"Gone Away"
Cho: A square head? Dear God! I should be made a saint for killing off something that tacky! I'll get right on it.
Ron: Hmm, if you want to get hooked up with Fred and George, I'd suggest serenading them. They've always liked the song, "Jenny from the Block." Or hated it, one of the two. Oh, and as soon as she gets done updating this crappy thing, Lammy'll check out your stories and review them for you.
irgova wrote:
OMG this was so funny! (Cho was funny).
Ginny: I'm glad you think it's funny. Cho would have answered this herself, except she's making out with my brother right now. If you think she's funny, you should see her while she's making out. It looks like she's eating Ron's face. Haha, she certainly won't be winning the "Best Kiss" award at this year's MTV Movie Awards.
fano,fanfiction. wrote:
hilarious !i couldnt stop chuckling , so hope you were,nt trying to be serious. i liked the Cho ending . thanks .
Cho: Thank you! And I rather like the Cho ending myself.
Percy: And to see all the scenes you may have missed, including the famous Cho Chang/Severus Snape video, send an Owl with 25 Galleons to Percy's Perverted Penny Arcade...
SLAP!
LxAxMxMxY wrote:
I have a question for Dumbledore. How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Hermione: Wait a minute! This isn't a real letter at all! It's from that crappy author who completely besmirched my character! Let's not answer it.
Dumbledore: Well, Hermione. If she was not only bored enough to besmirch your character, but to also bother sending an owl, I say we answer it. Well, let me see. Reaches for a Tootsie Pop and starts licking it. One... two... three... four...
20 minutes later:
Everyone in the room is falling asleep except for Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Five Hundred Seventy Eight... Five Hundred Seventy Nine...
Draco: I'm hungry! Yoink! Grabs the Tootsie Roll out of Dumbledore's hand and bites down. Everyone looks at him aghast.
Dumbledore: I guess the world will never know.
I'm not the weakest link wrote:
This is good
Draco: I'll take this one. Well thank you, and you know what else is good? The rum. I suggest you go get some.
Dumbledore: Hey, looks like I'm not the weakest link sent a follow-up owl!
I'm not the weakest link also wrote:
::tastes rum::
Me:Eurgghh!
::Spits it out on Snape::
Thanks for the reply
Snape: Yuck! I am covered with rum!
Draco and Trelawney: Lick their lips and stare wide-eyed at Snape
Snape: What the deuce are you two looking at?
Draco and Trelawney: Pounce on Snape and start licking him.
Snape: Kill me now.
Alendar wrote:
lmao i'm loving this can't wait for the final ending!!
McGonagall: The REAL final ending? Nobody knows. It's one of the world's great mysteries. Like who really built the pyramids, or what's been keeping Dick Clark alive all these years.
Alendar also wrote:
how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Draco: Haha, haha, you said "wood."
Everybody starts laughing
Harry: Haha, haha, you said "chuck."
Crickets Chirping
Harry: Come on you guys! "Chuck!" It's funny. Tee hee!
Silence
Draco: Was it "chuck" or Potter sucks?
More laughter.
Trelawney: He burned ya Potter! Burned ya OLD SCHOOL!
Harry: Was it old school, or is Malfoy an old fool? Haha, ha ha!!!!!!
More silence
Harry: I'll shut up now
Snape: Please do, Mr. Potter
Cub wrote:
Wow. A shameless ripoff of one of the greatest movies of the past few decades held together with a terrible plot. This is the equivalent of a bad 60s sci-fi b-movie. And I LOVE bad 60s sci-fi b-movies. Not something I'd want to read if I wanted conventional, complex, well written content but at the same time I give it an A for entertainment. A true triumph.
Ginny: Finally! Someone who can see exactly what this story really is all about. Thank you for the comparison to 60s sci-fi b-movies, but I don't think we'll ever quite measure up to the standards of classics such as The Phantom Planet. Did you know the people who sing the theme song for The O.C. totally ripped off their name from that movie?
Hermione: Did you just say The OC? OMG, I like totally love that show!
Ginny: Err... Hermione, that wasn't really the point but...
Hermione: Benjamin McKenzie is like SOOOOOO hot!
Ginny: Actually, I prefer Adam Brody.
Hermione: Pulls out her wand and aims it at Ginny. Silencio!
Ginny: ...
Hermione: So, back to what you were saying, Cub. The OC totally rocks!
Captain Scarlet penguin keeper wrote:
This is so funny, and you're putting it together well, can't wait to see the other endings. I know, Dumbledore did it. Or it was fang, (the three headed dog is in fact fluffy, fang is Hagrid's, doesn't matter though) Come on, I'll give ya a cookie. Anyway, nice writing.
Draco: I'm glad you liked it. I can explain the whole Fang/Fluffy mix up thing. You see, in the world of writing, it's common speculation that the author puts themself into the story. Lammy actually put herself in the story as me. It's no coincidence that I symbolized the loony drunk. In fact, Lammy was drunk the entire way through writing this story. Mistakes were bound to be made.
Trelawney: Cookie?!?!?! ME WANT COOKIE!!! Come back here, you scarlet penguin! I will find you and take your cookie! You can't hide from me, I have the INNER EYE!
:.K.: wrote:
OMG OMG OMG
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... (it goes on like this...)
breathes
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... (etc.)
Ron: Glad you liked the story K!
Draco: Shut up, Weasley. Can't you see K would rather be answered by a suave, debonair man such as myself? Draco's voice suddenly changes into a low, Barry White-esque voice. I am very pleased you liked the story, K. If you're not busy on Saturday, I could take you to the Three Broomsticks. I'd buy you a butterbeer and let you stroke my long, hard.... hair.
Hermione: Your hair is hard? Oh please, you just wanted to make it sound dirty.
Draco: I happen to use a lot of hair spray. There's nothing wrong with a guy who's man enough to take care of his looks.
miss rix wrote:
this is HILARIOUS!
please please continue!! i must know who killed him!!
Harry: I can save you the trouble, miss rix. It was Professor Snape, he killed Percy. Killed him dead.
Snape: Looks over at Harry then turns and looks at the rest of the group.
The rest of the group nods at him.
Snape: Avada Kedavra!
Harry: Dies
Everybody: Hooray!
Darkaus wrote:
so far very funny!! i love the Clue series!! i had to submit this review now but i will finish this story even ifmen with white suits enter room no!! not now! no! well done!!
Dumbledore: Glad you liked it, Darkaus! And you must be pretty great to realize that this is a total rip off of Clue. A million points for you!
McGonagall: Albus, I hope you realize this STILL isn't Who's Line is it Anyway.
Dumbledore: Really? Well it should be!
REMINDER -- As I stated before, I am NOT going to be answering any more reviews. If you do review, please do it as a regular review and not a Q & A sort of format. I would have continued to do this, but it is in violation of the rules. If you want to review my story just out of the goodness of your own heart, then go for it. But do not expect any feedback. Thank you so much again for reading my fic!