Disclaimer- The wonderful characters of Star Trek: The Next Generation do not belong to me...that was depressing to admit. No infringement intended so please don't sue me. On the other hand any other characters you run across and don't sound familiar are probably mine so you can sue all you want about them, but you won't see a penny.
A Child's Lead
Part I
A little child shall lead them. Bible, Isaiah II: 6
It had been six years since she had seen him beam off the Enterprise for the last time, angry that he had asked her to choose between him and her job on the starship. He had been angry as well, angry that she hadn't been ready to commit to a life of their own. They had parted hurt and furious.
It had been a little over five and a half years since she had met him and his brand-new wife, Larah, at Admiral Jean-Luc Picard's wedding to CMO Dr. Beverly Crusher. They had been polite to each other and as much as she hated to admit it, his wife had been an angel. They had parted on cordial terms.
It had been four and a half years since she had heard the news that Larah had died, leaving him alone with their newborn daughter, Kalila. She had wanted to go to him so badly, but feared that he would only resent her and push her away.
It would be exactly 10 minutes until Counselor Deanna Troi would be face to face with Captain William Riker of the Federation Starship Legacy once more. The Enterprise was docking at Star base 2294, which was where the Legacy was stationed also for an annual systems check. Since the Legacy would be uninhabitable for the next week and a half, Jean-Luc naturally invited him to come aboard and stay on the Enterprise. He accepted without hesitation and was bringing his daughter, Lily, as he called her. Deanna smoothed her long black hair away from her face and stood next to Jean-Luc and his wife, who was holding the hand of their own five-year-old daughter, Felisa. For a little girl that was born prematurely and wasn't expected to live an hour, Felisa had grow up to be a very adventurous, excitable, and extremely healthy child. Lissa, as everyone affectionately called her, bounced eagerly next to her mother and Deanna knew exactly how the child felt.
"Daddy, when are they going to be here?" asked Lissa impatiently, removing her hand from Beverly in order to put them both on her hips.
"Soon Liss. Soon. Remember patience is a virtue..." Jean-Luc said, smiling down at his beloved daughter.
"...But unfortunately not one of mine." Lissa finished the family joke for him and giggled at the look he gave her. Her red hair, which was cut just at the shoulders, bounced when she laughed and her hazel eyes sparkled. She was definitely a mixture of both her parent's in looks, but when it came to the love of space, she was all Jean-Luc. She even swore she going to be an Admiral one day, just like her father.
"Sir, they are ready to beam aboard." Ensign Lower said with his hands poised above the transporter.
"Engage." Jean-Luc told him and Lissa clapped her hands.
"Goody!" she squealed and Beverly rolled her eyes, taking her daughter's hand once more. All eyes stared as two shapes, one large and one small, began to materialize into two human beings.
"Welcome aboard the Enterprise again Com... Captain Riker." Jean-Luc said and Will laughed. He and Jean-Luc embraced like two brothers and Will turned to kiss Beverly's cheek. He then looked to Deanna and gave her a small smile.
"Deanna." he said, nodding to her. She gave him a small smile too and stepped forward to embrace him before she lost all nerve.
"Hello, Will." She could tell that he was surprised at her hug, but he squeezed her back gently. She then realized that she couldn't read his thoughts or sense his emotions. He was applying the mental block that she had taught him so long ago.
"Daddy?" came a soft voice behind him and Will turned around to swing a small dark-haired child down from the platform.
"I didn't forget you, Princess." Will told her as he set her on the ground and she grinned up at him. He took her hand and introduced her around. "Sweetheart, this is Admiral Picard and his wife, Dr. Beverly Picard."
"Please, call us Jean-Luc and Beverly." Beverly said to the little girl and the child bit her lip.
"Daddy says to ask if I can call you Uncle Jean-Luc and Aunt Beverly because you are family. Would that be all right?" Lily said and Beverly, Deanna, and Jean-Luc were surprised to hear that the girl sounded so much more mature than your average 4 and a half-year-old. Jean-Luc got over it quickly and smiled at her.
"Even better." he reassured the girl and she gave him a smile.
"Thank you...Uncle Jean-Luc." Lily said and gave a small giggle. Will pulled her gently to face Deanna and held her in front of him.
"Lily, this is Counselor Deanna Troi." Will said and Deanna smiled at the wide-eyed little girl.
"The one from your pictures?" Lily innocently asked Will. Deanna looked at Will in surprise. He just nodded, not breaking the gaze he held with Deanna. Forcing herself to tear her eyes away from his, Deanna met the eyes of the child once more. She remembered that Larah had been a blond with green eyes and with an inward gasp she noticed that Lily had inherited Will's crystal too-blue gaze. As she took in the girl's dark hair as well Deanna briefly thought to herself that Lily could have easily passed for their daughter. She shook herself mentally and gave the girl a big smile.
"Hello, Lily. Please call me Deanna." She said and Lily nodded. The child's thoughtful gaze swept over her and she gave Deanna a shy smile.
"You're very pretty." Lily said softly and Deanna gave her a brilliant smile.
"Thank you. I think you are too. I can see you have your Daddy's eyes." Deanna said and knew she had told her the right thing when Lily's face lit up. Lily looked excitedly at her father and tugged on his arm.
"Daddy, did you hear her? She said I have your eyes!" Lily told him breathlessly.
"Sweetheart, you knew that. I tell you that all the time." Will said, but Lily shook her head, adamantly.
"It's not the same, Daddy." Lily said as if he should know that. She looked at Deanna with adoring eyes and Deanna felt an emotion that she couldn't quite pin down.
"Uncle Will!" came Lissa's demanding voice and Will laughed loudly.
"How in the world do you think I could have forgotten you, Miss Felisa Yvette Picard?" Will asked and Lissa laughed at her full name. "Lily, this is Lissa. Lissa this is Lily." He said with a chuckle. The two children stared at each other for a second as if sizing each other up, then they both grinned.
"Do you wanna see my kitten?" Lissa asked her and Lily's eyes widened.
"You have a kitten?" she asked excitedly.
"Uh huh. Data's cat, Spot, had kittens a month ago and my mommy convinced my daddy to let me have one." Lissa said and Lily looked at her father with pleading eyes.
"Daddy, can I go?" she asked and he sighed, and then nodded. "Oh thank you, Daddy!" Lily gave him a huge kiss and then the two children ran out of the transporter room.
"I had better go supervise." Beverly said, sighing. "Knowing my daughter, she'll have yours in trouble in about 5 minutes flat." She complained good-naturedly, love for her daughter betrayed in her voice. Beverly looked at Deanna and smiled. "Do you want to come?"
"Sure." Deanna said and said good-bye to Will and the Admiral.
"I'll see you later." Will's voice said after her, just before the doors closed and Deanna paused momentarily as shivers went down her spine. How, after so much time and so many things between them, could his voice still make her stop in her tracks?
"Deanna?" Beverly asked, noticing that her friend had stopped. "Is something wrong?"
"No. I'm fine. Just thinking." Deanna told her and Beverly gave her a knowing look.
"Yes, well you can think about him all you want later. But for now I suggest we hurry before the children destroy half the ship." Beverly told her and Deanna laughed then followed her friend to the Admiral and Beverly's living quarters.
The two women found the girls on the living room floor, with Lissa holding the kitten and Lily stroking it's fur.
"Look, Mama. Ireland likes Lily." Lissa said, referring to the white kitten with emerald green eyes. Beverly smiled and settled herself onto the long ivory couch, crossing her legs and folding her hands into her lap.
"Of course she likes her. Who couldn't like Lily?" Deanna said as she sat down on the couch with Beverly, in a similar fashion. Lily looked up at Deanna and blushed, but a small smile of pleasure appeared on her lips. Lissa might have been holding Ireland too tight or the kitten might not have been enjoying all the people in the room, but for whatever reason she suddenly clawed at Lissa to get out of her arms. With a sharp cry of pain Lissa let go of the feline, who scampered off to the bedroom, and three long red gashed appeared on Lissa's right hand. The child fought the tears, but her hand was stinging and a few slipped out.
"Lissa, come here, sweetheart. Let Mommy see." Beverly said and Lissa gave up the brave act and rushed over to her mom. Silent tears flowed down her face as she held her hand out to be inspected. Beverly saw that the kitten had broken the skin and it was bleeding slightly. "Okay, let's get that taken care of."
Beverly walked into the bathroom, appearing moments later with a protoplaser. She pulled Lissa into her arms and ran it over her daughter's cuts. They healed instantly and Beverly set the device on the marble table next to her, pulling Lissa in to her close.
"There, Mommy made it all better." Beverly soothed Lissa's tears and the girl sighed deeply, content on being in her mother's arms. Deanna watched the two and smiled gently. Her smile soon turned into a frown as she felt waves of envy and sadness hit her and she looked towards the source. Lily was still sitting on the floor, but her eyes were transfixed on Beverly and Lissa. Her face showed longing and Deanna felt sympathy for the little girl. The little girl had never had a mother to hold her and soothe away her aches and pains. Yes, she had Will who obviously adored his daughter, but Lily wanted a mother terribly and Deanna felt it.
"Lily?" Deanna said softly and the girl's eyes found hers. "Would you mind coming and sitting her with me? I am a little lonely over here by myself." Lily gave her a look of slight confusion and then a small smile broke out onto her face. She nodded and got up off the floor, to walk over to where Deanna sat.
"May I sit on your lap?" Lily asked timidly and Deanna gave her a big smile.
"That would be perfect." Deanna replied and she pulled the little girl onto her lap. The child automatically leaned back against Deanna's chest and tucked her head under the woman's chin. The movements were fluid and natural and Deanna was amazed at the familiar feeling she had with Lily in her arms.
Beverly and Deanna began to talk about the new holodeck program that had been made just for children and decided to take the two girls to play tomorrow, schedule permitting. The girls in question were paying no attention to the adults and were playing a hand game when the door opened and Will and Jean-Luc walked in.
"Daddy!" came the echoing cry of both children. They each jumped up and raced for their respective fathers. The men scooped up their daughters and laughed as both girls planted a huge kiss on their cheeks. Will's eyes couldn't help but dart to Deanna as he walked over to sit by her on the couch. When he had walked into the room and seen Lily on Deanna's lap it had shocked him to see how much they looked like mother and daughter. Deanna moved to the right a bit so he could settle comfortably with Lily on the sofa, while Jean-Luc took Lissa over to the nearby armchair after kissing Beverly hello. The two women told them about taking the girl's to Child Heaven, as the holodeck program was called, and Will gave his permission for Lily to go.
Deanna couldn't help but notice how good he was with Lily and how different he seemed from when she had known him even six years ago. Lily had settled between them and was sleepily leaning into her father's side, with his arm wrapped around her small shoulders. Her tiny hands were dancing over his left sleeve cuff, from where his hand lay in his lap and he was stroking her hair softly, knowing that it was lulling her to sleep. Lissa was nodding off as well on Jean-Luc's lap, her head nestled on his chest. By the time the adults had finished talking, both girls were fast asleep.
"It has been a long day. I'm going to go put her to bed." Will said gently slid Lily so that she was on sprawled across his chest, with her head on his shoulder. Her rosy cheeks and dark lashes against her ivory skin made her look like a doll and Deanna couldn't help but reach up to lovingly stroke the child's cheek.
"Agreed." Jean-Luc said and rose with Beverly by his side, cradling the sleeping Lissa in his arms like an infant. "I'll will meet you on the bridge at 0900."
"That would fine, sir." Will said and rose, Lily making a soft sound of displeasure at the change in her position. The adults laughed softly and said goodnight.
"Will, I'll walk with you to your cabin." Deanna said and he nodded silently, letting her out the door before him. They walked in silence until they reached his quarters and then he turned to her.
"Do you want to come in?" he asked quietly and as much as Deanna longed to say yes she forced herself to shake her head. "I understand." he said and she wondered if he really did. "Goodnight, Deanna." he turned to go inside, but she reached out a hand to stop him.
"Will," she started, her hand resting on his arm and although he stopped he did not turn around to face her. "Why don't you bring Lily to my quarters around 0830 for breakfast? That way you won't have to rush to bring her and then go meet the Admiral."
"That would be fine. Thank you. Goodnight." he said and without saying anything else he walked inside the suite. The doors closed automatically behind him and left Deanna alone in the hallway, feeling so many conflicting emotions. She stood in the corridor for a few moments staring at the door as if it might open up again, then sighed and walked to the turbo lift. On the ride she felt as if she had left behind a piece of her when he had walked into his room with Lily in his arms and wondered if it would ever be the same between them. Or would the anger, pain, pride, and loneliness, eat them up inside?
Deanna had just finished brushing her hair and was going to set the table when her door chimed. She got the silverware from the replicator and went to set them on the table.
"Come in." she said and looked up as Will and Lily came in. "Good morning, you two."
Will looked handsome as ever in his Captain's uniform and the lock of hair that forever seemed to be over his forehead. Lily wore a pastel pink tunic dress with leggings and held a coral colored rose in her left hand. Her right was attached to Will's hand, but she let go at Deanna's voice and ran towards her.
"Hi!" Lily said happily and sweetly handed the rose to Deanna who smiled in surprise and delight at the two of them. Lily threw her arms around the woman's waist and looked up into her face, grinning. Deanna laughed and gave the child a squeeze, then with a confused look examined the child's hair.
"What in the world...?" Deanna asked and fingered what was obviously a disastrous attempt at a French braid.
"Daddy did it. It isn't very good is it?" Lily said softly as if to spare her father the pain of knowing his braid was horrible. "Munew, the teacher on Daddy's ship, usually does my hair when I get to school, but we are not at home..." Lily trailed off and Deanna, feeling the homesickness radiating from her, gave her another small hug. She lifted Lily's chin to look her in the eye and smiled at the little girl.
"What do you say I fix this braid and your father makes breakfast?" Deanna asked and Lily nodded, the smile returning to her face. Will sighed and threw up his hands in mock exasperation.
"I happen to like my braid. I think it turned out very well." Will said, pretending to be offended and Lily giggled.
Deanna chuckled as well and rolled her eyes at the man. She led Lily into the bedroom and after placing the rose in a blue crystal vase, took out the silver backed brush she had been using moments ago. Walking over to the replicator she asked for a pastel pink ribbon that matched Lily's outfit. Deanna tenderly undid Lily's braid and ran her fingers through the child's silky dark hair. Completely down, it reached past the child's shoulder blades and had a healthy shine to it. Taking the child's hand, she settled down onto her bed cross legged and placed Lily in front of her. Lily was quiet as Deanna ran the brush over her hair and began to braid then spoke up softly.
"Do you have a mommy?' Lily asked shyly and Deanna's hand paused in her movements then finished the braid.
"Yes, I do." Deanna answered carefully, waiting for the next question.
"Where is she?" Lily asked, turning to face Deanna.
"On the planet I grew up on. It's called Betazed." Deanna replied, smoothing her hand over Lily's head.
"Do you miss her?" Lily asked, biting her lip.
"Sometimes, very much." At Deanna's answer Lily looked down at her lap. She slipped her tiny hand into one of Deanna's slender ones and Deanna immediately closed her fingers so that she was holding the girl's hand.
"I don't have a mommy." Lily said and Deanna saw a tear slip down the girl's cheek. "She died when I was born."
"I know, Sweetheart." Deanna said and leaned forward to kiss the top of Lily's head.
"Aunt Deanna, did I kill my mommy?" Lily asked quietly and Deanna let out a gasp and pulled the girl into her arms.
"Of course not! Sometimes those things just happen. You didn't do anything, Little One. Trust me." Deanna said and pressed kisses on the top of the child's head.
"I wish you were my mommy." Lily said softly and Deanna felt her breath catch in her throat. She didn't have a chance to respond for Will's voice came from the doorway.
"Breakfast is ready," he said and Lily slid out of Deanna's arms and off the bed to follow him into the other room. Deanna sat alone on the bed with the brush in her hand and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in.
"I wish I was too." she said and finally stood up, leaving the brush on the bed.
TBC