(The afore-mentioned disclaimer still applies.)
Act Two--Big Berets and Good Kissers
STARS HOLLOW--AFTERNOON
Lorelai and Rory are walking through town carrying a couple of bags.
Rory: I can't believe I forgot to buy toothpaste and deodorant.
Lorelai: You know, I don't think you really need 'em. Europe's known for its unpleasant bodily aromas.
Rory: Yeah, but what if I see Jean-Claude again?
Lorelai: (reminiscing) Oh, Jean-Claude. Who could forget him...his smile, his wink, his huge beret. Hey, you know what they say about a guy with a big beret?
Rory: That he's got a freakishly large head?
Lorelai: Yeah, pretty much.
Kirk walks up to them.
Kirk: (nodding to each of them) Rory, Lorelai.
Lorelai & Rory: Hey, Kirk.
Kirk: I hear you're going to Europe for the summer, Rory.
Rory: (smiling) Well, actually, it's just for six weeks.
Kirk: Well, I'm sure you'll have a great time. Oh, while you're there, do you think you could pick up some cheese for Lulu?
Lorelai: Why, Kirk? Is she becoming a mouse?
Kirk: She has a thing for imported cheese...I dunno...She sure does have a healthy appetite..This one day, she ate an entire bag of cookies.
Lorelai: (smiling) We've been known to do that on occasion.
Rory: (reminiscing) Ah, yes. The Great Cookie Binge of 1996. I remember it fondly.
Kirk: (nonchalantly) And if you could, uh, pick something up for me...you know, since you forgot to bring me something back last summer.
Lorelai: We told you we were sorry about that.
Kirk: Yeah, well, sorry won't bring back that night I cried myself to sleep.
Rory: (frowns) Aww...you cried?
Kirk: Yeah, mostly because I had just sliced some onions, and they really irritated my eyes...but the souvenir thing hurt too.
Lorelai: (tilting her head) Well, Rory will remember you this time, Kirk.
Kirk: Thanks. And don't forget Lulu's cheese.
Rory: Okay. Bye.
Kirk: Bye.
Lorelai: (whispering) That man needs therapy.
Rory: Big time!
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
Rory and Lorelai walk in.
Luke: (noticing them) Hi, Rory. You ready for Europe?
Lorelai: (sitting down at a table) No, the better question is..Is she ready to be tortured by her grandmother?
Rory: (sitting down too) Grandma's not that bad.
Lorelai: (smiling) Oh, hun, let's see if you feel the same way, when she's fitting you for wooden shoes in Holland.
Rory: (with a freaked out expression) What did I get myself into?
Lorelai: I tried to warn ya.
Luke walks up to the table.
Luke: So, what do you two wanna eat?
Lorelai: (smiling) Um, I'll have a burger.
Luke: Don't have a burger.
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: Cuz I'm bringing you a burger tonight.
Lorelai: (whining) But, I feel like one now.
Luke: (giving up, as usual) Fine. Burger and fries. How 'bout you Rory?
Rory: (smiling) I'll have the same. Oh, and some coffee too. One last fix of it before I leave. I won't have it for six weeks. I'll be in withdrawal.
Lorelai: (excited) Ooo, hey, when you go through the night sweats and convulsions, make sure Mom's around, it'll really freak her out.
Luke: Alright...two burgers comin up.
Luke walks away.
Rory: (whispering mischievously) So, Luke's coming over tonight?
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: And you're gonna have the whole house to yourselves.
Lorelai: (rolling her eyes) Get your mind outta the gutter, Howard Stern.
Rory: So, what're you two gonna do?
Lorelai: (pensively) Well, I was thinking we could clean my gun collection, and then do target practice out back......We're just gonna watch a movie or something.
Rory: (smiling) You mean make out while a movie is playing in the background.
Lorelai: You blasphemer! That would totally be a violation of the Gilmore Movie Rules.
Rory: Yeah, but you're a Rebel Without a Cause.
Lorelai: I have to tutor Luke on movies, remember? No boyfriend of mine will be movie-illiterate.
Rory: (surprised) Oh my gosh...
Lorelai: What?
Rory: (pointing to Lorelai) You just called him your boyfriend.
Lorelai: (embarrassed) No I didn't.
Rory: (smiling) Yes, you did.
Lorelai: (looking around) Oh, God, do you think he heard?
Rory: Nah, he's in the kitchen, I think. So...you really like him, huh? I mean I know you already liked him cuz he's Luke...but, I mean, you "like him" like him, don't you?
Lorelai: (smiling) Yeah...and you know what's strange?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: That it doesn't even feel weird. It's like we've been going out forever...cuz we've known each other so long.
Rory: Yeah, but now you get to kiss him.
Lorelai: (smiling) Yeah...and Luke's a pretty good k....(Luke walks over right then, and Lorelai tries to cover)...cook. He's a great cook. You're a great cook, Luke!
Luke: (confused) Uh, thanks. So, here ya go. Rory have a great time in Europe. Don't eat too much French food. It's all fat.
Rory: K, Luke.
Luke walks away. Lorelai takes a bite of the burger.
Lorelai: Mmmm...Luke is a really good cook.
Her and Rory giggle.
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
Suitcases are all over the living room. Lorelai walks in and trips over one, then tries to catch her balance.
Lorelai: Whoa, uh, hey Rory, do you think you packed enough?
Rory: (walking in the room) Mom, it is for six weeks.
Lorelai: (sitting down with Rory, on the couch) I can't believe you're gonna be gone that long...Oh, just cancel and stay home with me...Please, please...I'll but you a pony...
Rory: Mom, I'll miss you too. But this trip'll be good for me...and just think...you get out of six Friday night dinners.
Lorelai: (excited) Ooo, yeah...What will I do with all that free time and lack of constant criticism?
Rory: You could criticize yourself.
Lorelai: Nah, it's not the same. I can never get Emily's voice down just right. Every time I try, I end up sounding like one of the guys from Queer Eye.
Rory: Oh, hey, you should make Luke watch that.
Lorelai: (giving her a look) Do you want him to break up with me?
Rory: Of course not. Hey...is my light blue sweater still on top of the dryer?
Lorelai: Oh, yeah. I'll go get it. (walking out of the room) I can't believe you're taking away half my wardrobe for six weeks.
Rory: They're my clothes!
Lorelai: (OS) Yeah, but they're still half my wardrobe.
Rory's cell phone rings.
Rory: Hello?
Dean: Hi Rory. It's Dean.
Scene switches back in forth between Rory and Dean as they talk.
Rory: (walking out to the front porch) Oh, hey Dean. (shutting the door)
Dean: I just wanted to talk to you before you left.
Rory: (surprised) Oh, so you know?
Dean: Yeah...Stars Hollow...Everybody pretty much knows everything.
Rory: (frowns) Oh, Dean, does Lindsay know what happened?
Dean: No, why?
Rory: Well, I saw her this morning, and she was pretty upset.
Dean: (upset) What did she say?
Rory: To stay away from you.
Dean: I'm sorry...
Rory: It's all right. She was really mad though. I don't think she wants a divorce.
Dean: (sighing) That's what I want..so...
Rory: Okay.
Dean: So, gone for six weeks, huh?
Rory: (smiling) Yeah, it'll be good to have a break from everything.
Dean: I guess...so will you send me a postcard from Europe.
Rory: (concerned) What if Lindsay gets it?
Dean: Oh, well, then just mentally send me one.
Rory: (smiling) Okay.
Dean: I'll see you when you get back. Have fun.
Rory: You too....I mean...Not that the whole divorce thing will be fun...but...
Dean: I know what you meant.
Rory: Okay...well, see ya.
Dean: Rory?
Rory: Yeah?
Dean: I'll..uh...miss you.
Rory:(with a look of uncertainty) K..uh..me too...Bye Dean.
Dean: Bye.
Fade to Black.