(The afore-mentioned disclaimer still applies.)
Act Four--Showers and Sinks
GILMORE HOUSE
Luke and Lorelai are sitting in the living room on the couch, watching Psycho.
Luke: (freaked out) Wow, um, you weren't kidding about the shower thing.
Lorelai: Oh yeah. Trust me, you'll be peeking out from behind the curtain next time you're in there.
Luke: (nodding) Yeah.
Lorelai turns down the movie and then turns to face Luke.
Lorelai: So, I wanna ask you something.
Luke: (motioning with his hand) No movie trivia. Please.
Lorelai: (smiling) No. I mean about "us".
Luke: (looking at her) Okay.
Lorelai: So, why now? Why did you ask me out now?
Luke: What do you mean?
Lorelai: Well, we've known each other forever. So, why now?
Luke: (shrugging) I dunno. Just seemed like the right time.
Lorelai: Okay, but why?
Luke: (getting increasingly more uncomfortable) Well, what do you want me to say?
Lorelai: You said somethin about a book that night you kissed me....What was that all about?
Luke: (nervous) Nothin. It was nothin.
Lorelai: (confused) What book?....(then a look of realization) Oh my gosh...Jess's book...was that your book?
Luke: (lying unconvincingly) Uh no.
Lorelai: It was. That's why you got so mad when I was making fun of it.
Luke: I wasn't mad.
Lorelai: (gasping) So, it was your book!
Luke: (embarrassed) Oh geez.
Lorelai: (smiling) Luke, you're the last person I'd expect to find reading a self-help book....at least you didn't buy those ridiculous tapes...(seeing the expression on his face, and then feeling guilty) Oh no....you did...I'm sorry.
Luke: (trying to be cool about it) It's alright.
Lorelai: Why did you buy all that stuff?
Luke: Uh...
Lorelai: (lightly hitting his arm) Oh, come on. Tell me. I promise I won't laugh...too hard.
Luke: (half smiling) Gee Thanks. There's nothin to tell. You remember that day in the kitchen...you were talking about us being lonely and those damn Dr. Phil books?
Lorelai: So, you got them cuz you were lonely?
Luke: (trying to explain) No...see...I just wanted...I dunno...I needed some answers...Things weren't going that great....It was a last resort.....I was desperate, okay?
Lorelai: So, you asked me out cuz you were desperate....What every girl longs to hear!
Luke: No...it wasn't like that....I'm just not good with words, alright...Just listen...Those books and tapes were lame, yeah, but they made me realize that maybe what I was looking for was here...I just didn't know it.
Lorelai: (taken aback) Wow...so...um...when did you realize you liked me?
Luke: (more uncomfortable) Do we have to talk about this now?
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: Cuz it's embarrassing.
Lorelai: (pressing) Come on, Luke. When?
Luke: I told you....it was when I listened to the tapes.
Lorelai: No, that's when you decided to do something about it.
Luke: Same thing.
Lorelai: No, it's not. So, for how long?
Luke: (sighing) I dunno..for awhile.
Lorelai: (surprised) Awhile? Can't be more than a couple of months. (She sees the expression on his face, which tells her otherwise and is shocked.) Oh, Luke...I didn't...uh..
Luke: (embarrassed and agitated) Look, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I don't know why you had to keep pushing me about it.
Lorelai: I wasn't...I just...
Luke gets up from the couch, angry.
Luke: I'm gonna go get some water.
Lorelai watches him walk away.
CUT TO GILMORE KITCHEN
Lorelai walks in. Luke is standing by the sink.
Lorelai: (quietly) Luke?
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: (frowning) I'm sorry I....you weren't ready to talk about it.
Luke: (looking down) No. I wasn't.
Lorelai: Well, I said I was sorry.
Luke: (in rant mode) Ya know, it's like you don't think before you talk. The words just come flyin outta your mouth...
Lorelai: Okay, you don't have to get all defensive.
Luke: I'm not.
Lorelai: Uh, yeah, you are....If you were playin football, the other team would have zero points.
Luke: What?
Lorelai moves toward the sink. Luke sits down at the table.
Lorelai: (partially leaning on the sink) Football...Defense....(we hear a clink and Lorelai looks down at the sink.) Oh, damn...my earring!
Luke: What?
Lorelai: It fell down the sink drain.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: (angry) Am I speaking English? Do you need subtitles here? Earring...Down drain...Bad...Bad....
Luke: (getting up and looking down the sink) Well, how did that happen?
Lorelai: (rubbing her forehead) It was loose all night. It just fell off. Can you get it?
Luke: (sighing, less than thrilled) Great...plumbing work...
Lorelai: (sighing) Fine..then I'll get it.
Luke: (looking at her) No, I'll do it. Bert's still here from yesterday, right?
Lorelai: (sarcastically, looking at him)Uh, yeah. Had him and Ernie, hell, the whole Sesame Street gang, over for a kegger.
Luke: My toolbox!
Lorelai: (with the 'duh' look) Oh, yeah. It's here.
Luke: Alright. I'll get it.
Luke walks out of the room. Lorelai mumbles to herself looking down the drain.
Lorelai: Stupid earring...stupid drain
Luke walks back in with some tools. He goes under the sink and starts messing with the pipes (dirty!).
Lorelai: You find it?
Luke: No, I don't see it.
Lorelai: (reaching down the drain) Maybe I can reach it.
Luke: Oh, I got it.
Lorelai: (with a strange expression on her face) Uh, Luke?
Luke: (still under the sink, putting the pipe back together) What?
Lorelai: My arm's stuck.
Luke: Yeah sure.
Lorelai: No, I'm not kidding.
Luke gets up from under the sink and stands next to her, seeing her arm stuck.
Luke: Well, why did you stick your arm down there?
Lorelai: (sarcastically) Wanted to see if a could reach the ocean...I felt like some fish....I was tryin to help you.
Luke: (motioning towards her arm) Well, let's try to pull it out.
Lorelai: Uh, no.
Luke: Come on. It won't hurt. It got in there, didn't it? It'll come out.
Lorelai: (smiling) You know, I feel like we're on an episode of Three's Company...Mr. Furley will hear our conversation and think we're "gettin it on"...
Luke: (reaching for her arm) Here, let me.
Lorelai: No...call the fire department.
Luke: I'm not calling the fire department. Just...(he grabs her arm) Ready, we're gonna pull it out...On the count of three...1...2...3...
Lorelai: Whoa!( as they fly backwards and hit into the kitchen table. Lorelai's practically sitting on his lap.)
She stands up. So does he, and then he proceeds to lean up against the sink.
Lorelai: (showing him her arm) Look, it's out.
Luke: (nodding) I see. (handing her the earring) Here's your earring.
Lorelai: (taking it) Thanks. (she looks at him) Look....Don't be mad...I just wanted to know when you started to...you know...
Luke: (nodding) I know.
Lorelai: (moving toward him) Truth...I know it didn't seem like it...(puts her arms around his neck and smiling)...But, I always kinda knew there was somethin different about us...wasn't sure what it was...you just figured it out before I did...
Luke: (looking down) I guess.
Lorelai: (smiling) Thanks for gettin my earring.
Luke: (looking over her shoulder and then at her) Well, I couldn't have done it without Bert.
Lorelai: (smiling) Yeah...Bert's the man!
They kiss.
Luke: (smiling) You know, we're missin the movie.
Lorelai: Yeah...you don't even know who the killer is yet.
Luke: Yeah I do...It's Norman.
Lorelai: (surprised) How'd you know?
Luke: No one's that creepy...and not a killer.
Lorelai: Well, come on.
She takes Luke's arm to pull him out of the kitchen.
Luke: I guess we'll have to rewind it.
Lorelai: Ah...screw the movie...let's just go make out.
Luke: Whatever you say.
Fade to Black. End Credits.
[Stay tuned...Episode 3 coming soon]