CHAPTER TEN
Inuyasha ran blindly through the fog, as fast as his legs would carry him. Kagome's voice followed him like a ghost, calling for him to come back. But he ignored her. She didn't understand.
I'm sorry, Kagome, he thought.
He didn't dare to look back. And even though he could hear how upset she was, he didn't dare to turn around and comfort her. If he went back now, Inuyasha knew he wouldn't have the strength to leave again. So he ran, on and through the mist, loathing himself with every step.
He cut through the misty forest, jumping lightly over fallen trees and under clinging vines. Finally the sound of Kagome's voice faded away. Though he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, he knew now that he was far, far away from her. She'd be safe, if he couldn't hear or smell her...
He slowed down, skidding to a sloping riverbank. There were smears of mud on his legs from where he had stumbled through the softer, watery ground. He stuck his shaking hands into the water, and splashed it over his face. As the water settled, he stared hollowly at his own reflection. He was flushed and wet, but otherwise he looked normal.
I wonder what I look like when I transform, he thought. Must be pretty horrible, if people are that scared of me.
He touched his cheeks, still watching himself in the water. Dammit, he thought. What's happening to me? Why am I doing these things? The Tetsusaiga's supposed to keep me normal all the time... does this mean... it isn't strong enough anymore?
Inuyasha stared hollowly into his own eyes, thinking back to those moments in the cave. Even now, he could taste Kagome's blood in his mouth. And smell Kirara's blood was on his claws. He had hurt at least one of his friends, and probably more than one. The worst thing was, he couldn't remember just what it was that he had done... and he couldn't go back to his friends.
Disgusted with himself, Inuyasha spent a long time scrubbing his mouth and hands in the silty river water. It didn't make him feel any less dirty. Finally he stopped, wincing. Blood was trickling down his wrists. Without noticing, he had scored dozens of tiny scratches and cuts over his hands, in his wild determination to clean himself off. At least his own blood would cover those smells....
Dejected, Inuyasha licked at his wet hands.
A while later, he was curled up on the bough of a leafless tree. It creaked slightly in the faint wind. Inuyasha didn't care if it was dead, and might collapse under his weight. He just wanted to be alone, and the tree's lifelessness reflected his mood. Kagome and the others would be safe if he wasn't near them. He had almost hurt them in the past, and only the intervention of Sesshomaru had kept that from happening.
How could this happen? he raged. I was supposed to be okay if I kept the Tetusaiga with me, and I didn't put it down for even a minute.
He rested his chin on a small branch. Inuyasha knew all too well what was going to happen if he didn't find a way to stop these transformations, fast. He would keep turning into a full demon, keep slaughtering without caring what he was attacking. He would murder everyone. He wouldn't be able to turn back to normal after awhile... just keep killing... until he himself died. At the rate things were going, it wouldn't be long.
If Inuyasha could keep away from the others... until then... that would be enough.
He glanced back into the mist. His golden eyes softened slightly. I'm sorry, he thought. Kagome... you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
TO BE CONTINUED
Inuyasha ran blindly through the fog, as fast as his legs would carry him. Kagome's voice followed him like a ghost, calling for him to come back. But he ignored her. She didn't understand.
I'm sorry, Kagome, he thought.
He didn't dare to look back. And even though he could hear how upset she was, he didn't dare to turn around and comfort her. If he went back now, Inuyasha knew he wouldn't have the strength to leave again. So he ran, on and through the mist, loathing himself with every step.
He cut through the misty forest, jumping lightly over fallen trees and under clinging vines. Finally the sound of Kagome's voice faded away. Though he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, he knew now that he was far, far away from her. She'd be safe, if he couldn't hear or smell her...
He slowed down, skidding to a sloping riverbank. There were smears of mud on his legs from where he had stumbled through the softer, watery ground. He stuck his shaking hands into the water, and splashed it over his face. As the water settled, he stared hollowly at his own reflection. He was flushed and wet, but otherwise he looked normal.
I wonder what I look like when I transform, he thought. Must be pretty horrible, if people are that scared of me.
He touched his cheeks, still watching himself in the water. Dammit, he thought. What's happening to me? Why am I doing these things? The Tetsusaiga's supposed to keep me normal all the time... does this mean... it isn't strong enough anymore?
Inuyasha stared hollowly into his own eyes, thinking back to those moments in the cave. Even now, he could taste Kagome's blood in his mouth. And smell Kirara's blood was on his claws. He had hurt at least one of his friends, and probably more than one. The worst thing was, he couldn't remember just what it was that he had done... and he couldn't go back to his friends.
Disgusted with himself, Inuyasha spent a long time scrubbing his mouth and hands in the silty river water. It didn't make him feel any less dirty. Finally he stopped, wincing. Blood was trickling down his wrists. Without noticing, he had scored dozens of tiny scratches and cuts over his hands, in his wild determination to clean himself off. At least his own blood would cover those smells....
Dejected, Inuyasha licked at his wet hands.
A while later, he was curled up on the bough of a leafless tree. It creaked slightly in the faint wind. Inuyasha didn't care if it was dead, and might collapse under his weight. He just wanted to be alone, and the tree's lifelessness reflected his mood. Kagome and the others would be safe if he wasn't near them. He had almost hurt them in the past, and only the intervention of Sesshomaru had kept that from happening.
How could this happen? he raged. I was supposed to be okay if I kept the Tetusaiga with me, and I didn't put it down for even a minute.
He rested his chin on a small branch. Inuyasha knew all too well what was going to happen if he didn't find a way to stop these transformations, fast. He would keep turning into a full demon, keep slaughtering without caring what he was attacking. He would murder everyone. He wouldn't be able to turn back to normal after awhile... just keep killing... until he himself died. At the rate things were going, it wouldn't be long.
If Inuyasha could keep away from the others... until then... that would be enough.
He glanced back into the mist. His golden eyes softened slightly. I'm sorry, he thought. Kagome... you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
TO BE CONTINUED