Twin Strangerss
Written by: Ciuline Ihmenjo
Cardcaptor Sakura does not belong to me. The characters in Cardcaptor Sakura do not belong to me. CLAMP owns CCS. Besides, even if you do try and sue me, I have no money.
= Announcements =
God, I don't know what it is about this fic that won't let me put it down. But, I'm totally into it. I love it! Keep those reviews flowing please! Or at least, start those reviews flowing! It's the only way for me to get response from my readers!
Italicized words are thoughts; Bold words are emphasis; CAPS WORDS are shouting; words in asterisks signify changes in scenes like the beginning and end of flashbacks or dream sequences
= = Four Rubies and a Diamond = =
Hanging around a café is not exactly a pleasant experience. At least, my butt is sore as hell from sitting in a stupid chair for an hour. So, I decide to go shopping instead. Nothing looks really attractive to me though. Nothing really stands out to my eyes. But after an hour without you by my side, I begin to feel numb. The feeling is right in my chest. So, I escape back to the café and take a seat at the small bar there. It's mainly there to attract more business at night, if I recall your words correctly.
You don't say anything to me. But, a cup of tea is set in front of me and you reach out to tousle my hair. I just sit at the bar, idly munching on peanuts until you can free me from my boredom. I am slowly watching a clock that seems to be moving in reverse just to piss me off. But a watched pot never boils, so I decide to go back to my peanuts and warm tea. And my drooping eyelids…
And eventually, right before the evening crowd begins strolling in, you shake me softly from my dreams and back into reality. Your coat is draped across my shoulder. The light green puddle of tea in my cup is ice cold now. You smile, dumping the liquid into a sink behind the countertop.
"Hey sleepyhead, time to go."
I rub my eyes and cover my mouth before yawning. "It is?"
"Yeah." You look around before giving me a quick peck on the lips. And suddenly, I'm awake. "That did the trick," you say with a dopey grin.
"How come I can't do that to you?" I pout, gathering up your jacket and my purse. I notice you walking toward the door and I follow you.
"Do what?"
"Wake you up like that…" I sigh.
"I dunno." You open the door for me. "So, shall we see what we can do about getting engaged?" you ask once we reach your motorcycle.
I flush. But luckily, I can hide my red cheeks with the bike helmet. I all but shove the thing onto my head. And the motor revs to life beneath. You ride away from the restaurant and toward one of the local jewelers.
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"It took you long enough," I sigh contently, looking through the glass at the rings below.
"To do what?" you ask, your head at a slight angle toward your left shoulder.
"PROPOSE!" I exclaim. Luckily, no one else is in the store, so the comment goes unnoticed.
You grin and chuckle softly. "Oh, that."
I pout. "Yes, that."
"Have you found anything you like?" the saleswoman asks us.
"Not yet ma'am," you say with a slight shake of your head.
"If you need any help, please feel free to ask me. We're only open for about twenty more minutes, so feel free to browse until then." She walks over to a seat behind the cash register and begins to do her nails with a file.
My eyes pass over each glittering gem set into rings of gold, silver, and platinum. Your finger hovers just above the glass, stopping over each ring.
"That one," you say, your finger stopping over a white gold ring with two diamonds planted in its center.
"Too…" I can't think of a word, so I say the easiest thing that comes to mind, "not me."
You smile. "Oh, and what would you be?"
I quickly point out what seems to be the only ring in the store with rubies in it. "Red has always been my favorite color." The four rubies sparkle in the light, against the yellow gold of the ring, and the single diamonds set in the middle of them smiles back at us. "You should know that!" But then the price tag catches my eye and I give up on the notion. I begin scanning, hoping for another ring to catch my eye. But nothing attracts my attention.
You seem to notice the outrageous price as well. "Well, if it didn't cost enough for a new motorcycle, I'd probably buy it." I can see the gears turning in your mind. My mouth works itself into a frown.
I hold up a hand. "Touya, you will not sell your bike just to get me an engagement ring!"
You look taken aback for a moment and then sigh, waving your hands in front of you. "I won't sell my bike."
"Swear it to me." I give you my best look; one the expresses only deathly seriousness.
"I swear that I will not sell my motorcycle." You grab my hand and pull out my pinky, locking it with your own. "I know it's kind of childish, but I pinky swear that with you."
After unlocking my finger with yours, I cross my arms over my chest. Your statement satisfies me, so I hook my arm in yours, resting my head against your arm.
"I'm sorry miss," you say to the woman behind the counter, "but we just couldn't find anything that we wanted."
She gives you a curt nod, taking more interest in the shape of the nail on her index finger. I stick my tongue out in her general direction, and you cover my mouth with a hand. You place an arm around me, unhooking my arm from you to do so, and drape your arm over my shoulder. You mouth covers my own for only a moment and you push me out the door.
"So," I say, one hand on the seat of your motorcycle, "why don't we just get one custom made?" I sigh, looking up at the sky. The colors of dusk are beginning to fade only to be replaced by the deep blue-black of the night.
"You actually read my mind there." You toss me the spare helmet. "Let's just go home and enjoy each other's company."
"Sounds like a plan." I smile and let my cheek rest against your back. "Let's go home."
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We arrive at your apartment all but stumbling through the door. My lips are locked with yours… my hands fumble for your key and it drops to the ground. After a few jingles of the keys as they tumble through the air, it comes to a stop just in front of the door.
"Shit," I say, breaking away to pick up the metal object.
"Yeah, that is just about the thought on my mind too." You smile and place your hand on top of mine. And we both unlock the door together.
"That really ruined the mood," I grumble. Running toward the couch, I jump, turning in midair to land on my back. Two bounces, and my body settles into the thick cushions.
"Don't break my furniture," you call out, hanging the jacket you had on a hook just inside the doorway.
"I won't!" I call back. I grope for the remote and turn the television on. There is nothing of interest, hardly to blame because you only have cable. After all, if I can't find anything interesting on our satellite…
"So," you sit by me – which is to say, practically on top of me – on one of the arm rests. "What to do now."
I stifle a yawn. "I'm sure we can think of something other than sex."
"Like talking about our future?" Something warm plants itself in my chest and I can almost feel myself glowing. You look at me strangely for a moment, "Would you care to tell me what that was about?"
"Nah," I sigh. "It's just such a wonderful feeling." Suddenly another thought appears in my mind. How am I going to tell him about me, the real me, the one I keep bottled inside? I frown, trying to get the acrid taste of fear out of my mouth. No, I have to tell him now!
"That doesn't look like an elated expression." You lean down to kiss me on the tip of my nose. I'm too absorbed in my thoughts to pay much attention to you.
"Touya," I begin, keeping my voice level, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you." You are about to make some half-serious comment, but my facial expression tells you otherwise. You close your mouth.
"Hey," you place a hand on mine, "is there something wrong?"
"Yes. I mean, no… well, kind of."
"That's a straight answer." Your hand returns to your side.
"Damn it!" I slam my fist into the coffee table in front of the couch. "I don't need that right now."
"Woah, calm down," you say, holding your hands up. Your face hovers above my own, "I'll listen. You know that. It doesn't matter what secrets you have from your past, I'll still be here when you wake up. I won't go away. I promise."
I can feel the tears coming, but I can do little to stop them. "You promise?" I whisper though the first sobs. You nod, not quite knowing what to do. Finally I feel you pull my body into a tight embrace. I put my head on your shoulder and let nearly eight years of sorrow pour out.
"Have I ever told you," I sniffle, interrupting myself, "what a wonderful shoulder you have?"
You laugh in response. "No, you haven't."
"Well, it's great, don't change anything about it." I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to put my feelings into words, trying to form words at all.
"It all started when my stepfather raped me." Your eyes narrow and I can see your hand clench into a fist. "I'm alright really."
"You're just saying that."
"I know, but it's what I've been saying for the last eight or nine years." I try to lighten the mood, "It's kind of preprogrammed." You only nod and then motion for me to continue. And I do. Everything just flows out. The last eight years come back to me like I was watching them on the television, like I had my life scripted and memorized a speech that I was going to give, the speech I was giving right now. So, I tell you everything. I tell you about my engagement to Syaoran, my old feelings toward my cousin. I tell you about the suicide attempt. About the endless nights and days of both sorrow and fear. I feel myself traveling a road that I am not quite ready to go down.
At some point, you take me back in your arms. My voice is barely above a whisper, so I guess that it serves a dual purpose: to comfort me and to listen. And I start to cry again, whimpering into your shoulder. The hot tears run in rivulets down the path of my face to land in the growing puddle on your shoulder. You make shushing noises and lay small kisses on my face. When that doesn't calm me, you bury you nose in my hair and just hold me.
I'm not sure why, but it is what calms me the most: the feeling of being in your arms. It calms me just to be there beside you. You holding me in your arms.
"How did you live with that?" you say once I stop crying. Through puffy eyes, I turn my head to the clock. It reads well past midnight.
"How long have we been sitting here?" I say, my voice still trembling.
"Nearly three hours." You shake your head. "I don't care."
"But…"
"Meilin, I don't care."
"BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!" I wail. I can feel the tears trying to come, but I have no tears left to cry.
"That's true, but I know what sorrow is. I do not know what life is like trying to find some place to find a footing, but I can help you to find one." You pull your head away so you can look in my eyes. "Meilin, you're the one I love. Nothing will change that. I don't care if you were or were not raped because, to me, you are everything and nothing else matters."
I let out a choked sob. "Touya…" but I can't form any more words. Instead, I reach out to cup your face.
"I'm sorry, for forcing myself on you that first time." You bow to me and I nod, rubbing my eyes.
"It's okay," I manage to crack a slight smile, "you didn't know."
You sigh and lean back against the chair. Digging in your pocket, you pull out a kerchief and hand it to me. "I don't use this too much and you look like you need it more than me." You smile and I can't help but to smile back. At least, I feel the corners of my mouth turning into a smile.
"And I've lived this way," I blow my nose and rub my eyes with my sleeve again, "because I can't live any other way. I just kept going. That's all, it's the only thing I could do."
"You're strong then," you say softly.
"No I'm not."
"Then you're insecure," you chuckle, "because no one else on the planet could still be alive after going though what you have. I mean it." You reach out with a hand and tousle my hair.
"You'd be pretty insecure yourself…"
"I know." You pick me up, cradling me in your arms. "Just go to sleep now." I close my eyes and listen to you breathing. You lean your head down to kiss me and I respond, my lips moving automatically.
And then we hear the jingling of keys and the scraping of a key in a lock. The door swings open. I know it's too late. And from the look in your eyes, I can tell you know the same thing.
"Oni-chan! I'm home!" she says cheerfully.
I image that we both looked like deer in headlights. Of course, I probably look like I have just been beaten. My eyes are puffy and extremely red and there are lines on my face from the path of my tears. We both look up at her at the same time. She drops her purse and just stares, open-mouthed at us.
Oh no… I think. And then I heard the voice, his voice. I pray that he wouldn't be here too. His head peeks over her shoulder.
"Sakura, what's going on? What's the hold up?" He reaches from behind her to place a hand on each of her shoulders. He leans in and kisses her on the top of her head. Her finger shoots up, pointing at us.
I'm still cradled in your arms, wishing myself to be small at the moment. I image you are doing the same. He looks up and his mouth bobs open and closed like a fish for a moment. He rolls his eyes and sighs.
"Hey Meilin," he says calmly.
"H-H-Hey Syaoran," I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.
You set me on the floor, letting me swing my feet so I have a controlled landing. "So, I guess we'll let them both break it to us then?" you ask with a slight chuckle.
"I guess we don't have much of a choice now." I take a few deep breaths and clear my throat. "Syaoran, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend."
He and Sakura turn their heads and exchange a look of pure shock. And then they shout in unison one word: "WHAT?"
= = Closing remarks? = =
Well, that one just began to write itself. Now I have only two chapters to go. Maybe three if I can pull it off. I'm probably going to do an epilogue for this and also will continue to write from this universe. And once again, it is late… erm… early in the morning, I have had no sleep, no caffeine and I'm sleepy, so pardon my spelling errors!
If you have any suggestions or wishes for a story, please submit them to me at CiulineIhmenjo yahoo.com
That is all…
Ja ne Ciuline Ihmenjo