As we Join Link He just got a Triforce piece from a River Zora!
Link: "Now I have three pieces of the Triforce, and the next is at the bottom of the ocean! But how do I get there?"
Old man: "Well you could tie a rock to your foot, and say did you find the digging tool yet?"
Link: "...Yes... Say, are you Omochao in disguise?"
Old man: "No"
Link: "OK. How will I breathe underwater?"
River Zora: "Oh here take this tunic this should help!" Gives Link the Zora tunic
Link: "Right." Picks up the tunic and it disappear, then the green tunic turns blue. "Um... Weird."
Old man: "Did you find the digging tool yet?"
Link: "Yes!" Ties a rock to his foot using the Hookshot, then throws the rock into the ocean.
Old man: "I was talking to the Zora"
River Zora: "No not yet, But I've been looking hard..."
Link: Sinking. "So bored... How deep can this stupid ocean be!"
River Zora: "That old kooky man told me to help you!"
River zora: "What are you talking about? The authors jumped to conclusions. I'm a Zora..."
Link: "Why would Ganon have a good Zora defend a Triforce piece?"
Zora: "Ummm... I don't work for Ganon..."
Link: "Then what were you doing with that Triforce piece?"
Zora: "My Zoran tribe protected it and you should hit the bottom in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1!"
Link: "Finally! Now, where do I go?"
Zora: "Silly Hylian, You go to lord jaba-jaba!"
Link: "Jaba-Jaba? Is that a descendent of Jabu Jabu?"
Zora: "... No I have a Speech Impediment"
Link: "Oh. Say, where'd he go after Zora's Domain froze, anyway?"
Zora: "I dunno... Over there?" Points to the Zoran City conveniently placed nearby...
Link: "OK." Heads to Zoran City.
Random Zora: Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to our World of toys!"
Zora: "good for you"
Link: "...This is horrible! Ganon's already affected some people to make them seem like Omochao!"
Random Zora: "What's an Omochao?"
Link: "The most horrible being in the universe... Say, can I go see the big fish?"
Zora: "Say Link from now on you can call me Jack, and don't worry Omochao would explode before they reached the city!"
Random Zora: "follow me!"
later at the lord Jabu jabu
Link: "What do I have to do now?"
Jack: "Silly Hylian, Give him an offering then be sucked into him!"
Link: "...That seems like a bad idea."
Jack: "... Look you wanna save Hyrule or not?"
Link: "Hm... Tough choice..."
Jack: "..."
Link: "Hm... I dunno..."
Jack: "Come on choose, boy choose!"
Link: "...Fine." Throws a fish at Jabu Jabu.
Jabu jabu: "uuuuwa!" swallows Link and Jack
Link: "OK, what now?"
Jack: "Simple silly Hylian, find the boss! But first have a beer!"
Link: "Well, step 1 seems easy enough... But how am I going to find the boss?"
Jack: "wander around?" gives Link a beer
Link: Takes one sip. "WeeEEe!" Hic. Stumbles into one of those hole things.
Jack: "WATCH OUT!! Oh wait he's already fallen, NEVER MIND!" jumps in after Link
Link: "UmmmmMMMMMMM... WhERe tO NOw? OH!" Runs towards a door like thing, but hits a wall.
Octorok: "Hi! I'm here to kill you!"
Link: "HaaaA! I'Ll BeAT yOU! EaSILy!" Slashes at the Octorok, but is way off.
Jack: "Moron Look at the one in the middle that's the real one!"
Link: "OHHHhh! ThE OnE in ThE mIDDle!" Hits self with hilt of sword.
Jack: sighs throws a rock at the Octorok Killing it
Octorok: "GAK! wutu..." dies
Link: "WhOOa..." Points at Jack. "ThIS ClOCk gIVes REceIPts."
Jack: "This is sad I thought he could handle more than one sip..."
Link: "Is THiS thE DR. MaRIo pLAYinG COnTesT?"
Jack: "SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!" slaps Link
Link: "Huh? Whoa, that was weird."
Jack: "yes very..." puts away the camera he was using to tape it all...
Link: "Anyway... The boss must be... This way!" Runs through the door.
Two hours later...
Link: "Or... Wait, maybe this way..."
Jack: "Why not try this door?" Points to a door with the boss markings on it
Link: "No way that could be the door..."
Jack: "LIAR!" pushes Link through it "Have fun!"
Link: "Whoa!" Falls down near the boss.
Phantom Moblin: "MUAHAHAHAA!"
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Runs around in circles.
Triforce Pieces: "You idiot! We're giving you courage!"
Link: "Hey, aren't you inanimate objects?"
Triforce Pieces: "Oh yeah..."
Phantom Moblin: "Prepare to Die! Butter smells good! Don't eat cheese!"
Link: "I must save the land from horrors like this!" Grabs the rock he tied to his foot, and throws it at the Moblin.
Omochao: "Ow..."
Phantom Moblin: disintigrates into many Omochao
Link: "AHHHHHHH!" Starts stepping on the Omochao.
All Omochao: "Hi!"
Link: Picks up a nearby hammer and starts crushing the Omochao with it.
All remaining Omochao: "STUPIDITY BEAM!" Link gets hit by a beam that makes him dumber
Link: "Noooooooooooooooooooo! I've got too few IQ points to afford to lose more!"
Omochao: "... Oh... SMARTITITY BEAM!" Shoots a beam at link that makes him like 10 IQ points smarter!
Link: "...Whoa. They're more stupid than I thought." Looks up and notices a huge rock being held up by a rope, then climbs a ladder to get on top of it, and cuts the rope.
Omochao: "I told them that was a bad move..." All the omochao get crushed...
Link: "Yay! Now, where's that Triforce piece?"
Triforce piece falls slowly from the ceiling
Ganon: "IT'S MINE!"
2 hours later...
Link: "Hi, Ganon. It's still too high up to get, Check back in an hour or so."
Ganon: "Wanna play go fish?"
Link: "Fish... That reminds me... Where'd that fish go?"
Jack: "I'm right here! And sure!"
Link: Climbs up a ladder and grabs the Triforce piece while Ganon and Jack are distracted.
Ganon: "I'll get you Foolish Hylian!" runs off into the stomach
Link: "OK, now where's that old man?"
Jack: "We're still in Jaba jaba ya know..."
Link: "...Oh, right."
Later...
Link: "OK, we're out, NOW where's that old man?"
Old man: sneaks up behind link "BLAH!"
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why do people keep doing that?!?"
Old man: "So Jack can take your picture!"
Link: "Jack! You..."
Jack: "I didn't do it!" puts his camera away
Old man: "Your next clue lies with in the forest in the west"
Link: "...Haven't I already been to that forest?"
Old man: "... No this is a different one"
Jack: "And I think I'll just go back to my people now!"
Old man: "thank you for looking after my Imbecile!"
Jack: "No problem just don't make me do it again!" leaves
Link: "Ooh! That reminds me! The Omochao raised my IQ 10 points! Now I can do simple math problems!"
Old man: "good! What's one plus one?"
Link: "I said simple!"
Old man: "that's as simple as they get next to zero plus zero"
Link: "Ummm... Zero? No, wait, two!"
Old man: "zero plus zero is what now?"
Link: "Zero! No, two! Yeah, two."
Old man: "zero you idiot!"
Moblin: "BLAH!"
Link: Stabs Moblin. "OK, well, how do we get to the forest?"
Moblin: "Ouchies... And I just wanted to be your friend!" dies
Old man: "Just head west until you find your second forest there you will meet me!" walks off
Link: "OK." Heads east.
5 hours later...
Moblin that link killed 5 hours earlier: "he said west not east"
Link: "AH! A ghost! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Runs west as fast as he can.
Moblin Ghost: sniffle "And I just wanted to be your friend..."
10 hours later
Old man: "So finally decided to show up eh?"
Link: "OK, bring it on!"
Old man: "Okay" Hits link in the leg with his cane and then pins him to the ground
Link: "...Ow..."
Old man: starts to twist Link's right arm "say uncle, SAY UNCLE!"
Link: "...But I'm not the Link who has an uncle..."
Old man: twists even harder "SAY UNCLE!"
Link: "ACK! Uncle! Uncle!"
Old man: gets off of link "had enough?"
Link: "Ow..."
Old man: "now we need to find the master sword and see if you're Hylian enough to full it from its pedestal..."
Link: "Right! Wait... Where is the Master Sword?"
Old man: "What all did your father teach you?"
Link: "He taught me that if you stab something in the head, it'll most likely die."
Old man: "and?"
Link: "And... That Ganon's evil?"
Old man: "and?"
Link: "And... Not to hit myself with my sword?"
Old man: "Anything about the master sword?"
Link: "Well, he said that its magic used to make it so you had to be a certain age to use it... That they moved it to somewhere in the northwestern Lost Woods?"
Old man: "Riiiiight, now how old are you then?"
Link: "Um... I lost count somewhere around 3. But the magic's gone now!"
To be continued...
Link: "Now I have three pieces of the Triforce, and the next is at the bottom of the ocean! But how do I get there?"
Old man: "Well you could tie a rock to your foot, and say did you find the digging tool yet?"
Link: "...Yes... Say, are you Omochao in disguise?"
Old man: "No"
Link: "OK. How will I breathe underwater?"
River Zora: "Oh here take this tunic this should help!" Gives Link the Zora tunic
Link: "Right." Picks up the tunic and it disappear, then the green tunic turns blue. "Um... Weird."
Old man: "Did you find the digging tool yet?"
Link: "Yes!" Ties a rock to his foot using the Hookshot, then throws the rock into the ocean.
Old man: "I was talking to the Zora"
River Zora: "No not yet, But I've been looking hard..."
Link: Sinking. "So bored... How deep can this stupid ocean be!"
River Zora: "That old kooky man told me to help you!"
River zora: "What are you talking about? The authors jumped to conclusions. I'm a Zora..."
Link: "Why would Ganon have a good Zora defend a Triforce piece?"
Zora: "Ummm... I don't work for Ganon..."
Link: "Then what were you doing with that Triforce piece?"
Zora: "My Zoran tribe protected it and you should hit the bottom in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1!"
Link: "Finally! Now, where do I go?"
Zora: "Silly Hylian, You go to lord jaba-jaba!"
Link: "Jaba-Jaba? Is that a descendent of Jabu Jabu?"
Zora: "... No I have a Speech Impediment"
Link: "Oh. Say, where'd he go after Zora's Domain froze, anyway?"
Zora: "I dunno... Over there?" Points to the Zoran City conveniently placed nearby...
Link: "OK." Heads to Zoran City.
Random Zora: Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to our World of toys!"
Zora: "good for you"
Link: "...This is horrible! Ganon's already affected some people to make them seem like Omochao!"
Random Zora: "What's an Omochao?"
Link: "The most horrible being in the universe... Say, can I go see the big fish?"
Zora: "Say Link from now on you can call me Jack, and don't worry Omochao would explode before they reached the city!"
Random Zora: "follow me!"
later at the lord Jabu jabu
Link: "What do I have to do now?"
Jack: "Silly Hylian, Give him an offering then be sucked into him!"
Link: "...That seems like a bad idea."
Jack: "... Look you wanna save Hyrule or not?"
Link: "Hm... Tough choice..."
Jack: "..."
Link: "Hm... I dunno..."
Jack: "Come on choose, boy choose!"
Link: "...Fine." Throws a fish at Jabu Jabu.
Jabu jabu: "uuuuwa!" swallows Link and Jack
Link: "OK, what now?"
Jack: "Simple silly Hylian, find the boss! But first have a beer!"
Link: "Well, step 1 seems easy enough... But how am I going to find the boss?"
Jack: "wander around?" gives Link a beer
Link: Takes one sip. "WeeEEe!" Hic. Stumbles into one of those hole things.
Jack: "WATCH OUT!! Oh wait he's already fallen, NEVER MIND!" jumps in after Link
Link: "UmmmmMMMMMMM... WhERe tO NOw? OH!" Runs towards a door like thing, but hits a wall.
Octorok: "Hi! I'm here to kill you!"
Link: "HaaaA! I'Ll BeAT yOU! EaSILy!" Slashes at the Octorok, but is way off.
Jack: "Moron Look at the one in the middle that's the real one!"
Link: "OHHHhh! ThE OnE in ThE mIDDle!" Hits self with hilt of sword.
Jack: sighs throws a rock at the Octorok Killing it
Octorok: "GAK! wutu..." dies
Link: "WhOOa..." Points at Jack. "ThIS ClOCk gIVes REceIPts."
Jack: "This is sad I thought he could handle more than one sip..."
Link: "Is THiS thE DR. MaRIo pLAYinG COnTesT?"
Jack: "SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!" slaps Link
Link: "Huh? Whoa, that was weird."
Jack: "yes very..." puts away the camera he was using to tape it all...
Link: "Anyway... The boss must be... This way!" Runs through the door.
Two hours later...
Link: "Or... Wait, maybe this way..."
Jack: "Why not try this door?" Points to a door with the boss markings on it
Link: "No way that could be the door..."
Jack: "LIAR!" pushes Link through it "Have fun!"
Link: "Whoa!" Falls down near the boss.
Phantom Moblin: "MUAHAHAHAA!"
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Runs around in circles.
Triforce Pieces: "You idiot! We're giving you courage!"
Link: "Hey, aren't you inanimate objects?"
Triforce Pieces: "Oh yeah..."
Phantom Moblin: "Prepare to Die! Butter smells good! Don't eat cheese!"
Link: "I must save the land from horrors like this!" Grabs the rock he tied to his foot, and throws it at the Moblin.
Omochao: "Ow..."
Phantom Moblin: disintigrates into many Omochao
Link: "AHHHHHHH!" Starts stepping on the Omochao.
All Omochao: "Hi!"
Link: Picks up a nearby hammer and starts crushing the Omochao with it.
All remaining Omochao: "STUPIDITY BEAM!" Link gets hit by a beam that makes him dumber
Link: "Noooooooooooooooooooo! I've got too few IQ points to afford to lose more!"
Omochao: "... Oh... SMARTITITY BEAM!" Shoots a beam at link that makes him like 10 IQ points smarter!
Link: "...Whoa. They're more stupid than I thought." Looks up and notices a huge rock being held up by a rope, then climbs a ladder to get on top of it, and cuts the rope.
Omochao: "I told them that was a bad move..." All the omochao get crushed...
Link: "Yay! Now, where's that Triforce piece?"
Triforce piece falls slowly from the ceiling
Ganon: "IT'S MINE!"
2 hours later...
Link: "Hi, Ganon. It's still too high up to get, Check back in an hour or so."
Ganon: "Wanna play go fish?"
Link: "Fish... That reminds me... Where'd that fish go?"
Jack: "I'm right here! And sure!"
Link: Climbs up a ladder and grabs the Triforce piece while Ganon and Jack are distracted.
Ganon: "I'll get you Foolish Hylian!" runs off into the stomach
Link: "OK, now where's that old man?"
Jack: "We're still in Jaba jaba ya know..."
Link: "...Oh, right."
Later...
Link: "OK, we're out, NOW where's that old man?"
Old man: sneaks up behind link "BLAH!"
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why do people keep doing that?!?"
Old man: "So Jack can take your picture!"
Link: "Jack! You..."
Jack: "I didn't do it!" puts his camera away
Old man: "Your next clue lies with in the forest in the west"
Link: "...Haven't I already been to that forest?"
Old man: "... No this is a different one"
Jack: "And I think I'll just go back to my people now!"
Old man: "thank you for looking after my Imbecile!"
Jack: "No problem just don't make me do it again!" leaves
Link: "Ooh! That reminds me! The Omochao raised my IQ 10 points! Now I can do simple math problems!"
Old man: "good! What's one plus one?"
Link: "I said simple!"
Old man: "that's as simple as they get next to zero plus zero"
Link: "Ummm... Zero? No, wait, two!"
Old man: "zero plus zero is what now?"
Link: "Zero! No, two! Yeah, two."
Old man: "zero you idiot!"
Moblin: "BLAH!"
Link: Stabs Moblin. "OK, well, how do we get to the forest?"
Moblin: "Ouchies... And I just wanted to be your friend!" dies
Old man: "Just head west until you find your second forest there you will meet me!" walks off
Link: "OK." Heads east.
5 hours later...
Moblin that link killed 5 hours earlier: "he said west not east"
Link: "AH! A ghost! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Runs west as fast as he can.
Moblin Ghost: sniffle "And I just wanted to be your friend..."
10 hours later
Old man: "So finally decided to show up eh?"
Link: "OK, bring it on!"
Old man: "Okay" Hits link in the leg with his cane and then pins him to the ground
Link: "...Ow..."
Old man: starts to twist Link's right arm "say uncle, SAY UNCLE!"
Link: "...But I'm not the Link who has an uncle..."
Old man: twists even harder "SAY UNCLE!"
Link: "ACK! Uncle! Uncle!"
Old man: gets off of link "had enough?"
Link: "Ow..."
Old man: "now we need to find the master sword and see if you're Hylian enough to full it from its pedestal..."
Link: "Right! Wait... Where is the Master Sword?"
Old man: "What all did your father teach you?"
Link: "He taught me that if you stab something in the head, it'll most likely die."
Old man: "and?"
Link: "And... That Ganon's evil?"
Old man: "and?"
Link: "And... Not to hit myself with my sword?"
Old man: "Anything about the master sword?"
Link: "Well, he said that its magic used to make it so you had to be a certain age to use it... That they moved it to somewhere in the northwestern Lost Woods?"
Old man: "Riiiiight, now how old are you then?"
Link: "Um... I lost count somewhere around 3. But the magic's gone now!"
To be continued...