As we join our Master of stupidity he is Hard at work looking for the Master sword!
Old Man: "Did you find the Evil slaying tool yet?"
Link: "Not yet." Trips over a sword. "Hey! This must be the Master Sword, despite the fact that it's nothing like it!"
Old Man: "Well thats because you haven't even entered the forest yet!"
Link: "...Oh." Enters forest.
Old Man: "Impossible child"
Meanwhile in the forest
Link: "I'm possible!"
Moblin: "BLAH!"
Link: "...I'm getting used to that. What do you want?"
Moblin: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE FOREST OF LOSTLESSNESS!?"
Link: "You mean the Lost Woods? Looking for the blade of evil's bane."
Moblin: "Who-ja-what-a-wa?"
Wolfos: "AWOO!"
Link: "Give me the Master Sword or I'll stab you with the wooden sword!"
Wolfos: "Why shold we?" Attack link
Link: Hits the Wolfos on the head.
Wolfos: "Ow..." swipes at link
Link: Jumps out of way. "Ha! You'll have to try harder than tha..." Looks down. "AHHHHH! I'M BLEEDING!" Runs around in circles.
Moblin and Wolfos: "-.-;;;"
Triforce peices: "You moron we're giving you courage!!!"
Link: "You're still inanimate objects!"
Triforce peices: "... So?"
Link: "So that means you can't talk! Only the completed Triforce can talk, and that's only because it's transmitting messages of the gods, like a radio!"
Moblin: "BLAH!" throws a rock at link"
Triforce peices: "Oh fine" they shut up
Link: "Wha? Ow!" Rubs head. Pulls a computer keyboard out of nowhere and smashes it over the Wolfos' head.
Moblin: "blah blah?!"
Wolfos: "Ouchies" dies
Moblin: "You'll pay dearly for that!!!" runs away
Link: "I won a battle! I get sixteen experience points!"
Rock: "No you don't..."
Link: Stabs rock.
Rock: "Ha HA! it'll take more than that to kill me!"
Link: "Hey, this reminds me of a comic I read once..." Throws the rock in a river.
Rock: "I'll get blub you blub blub... "
later
Link: Looks around. "Where's that Master Sword?!?"
Moblin: "BLAH! turn around and see what I have in store for you!!"
Link: Turns around. "Yes?"
Moblin: in a mech "BLAH!"
Link: "You said there was a store!"
Moblin: "Are you that dumb!?"
Link: "I think the answer to that is obvious!"
Moblin: "Right... Moron..." begins to shoot at link
Link: "Umm..." Throws a rock at the Moblin.
Moblin: "Didn't you throw that rock in the river? oh well..." shoots the rock
Link: "That wasn't the same rock! Well... There's one thing that never fails me!" Takes out the fork, which is, incidentally, one of the Triumph Forks, then stabs the mech."
Moblin: "Darn..." the mech explodes "Looks like team moblins blasting off agaaaaaaaaaain..."
Link: "...That was strange."
ping
Link: "Where's that old man?"
Old man: sneaks up behind link "BLAH!"
Link: "Ah! Old man! I need your help..."
Old man: "What? Your not scared?"
Link: "It doesn't matter... I need help finding the Master Sword... Could you get Omochao to help me?"
Old man: "WHAT!? YOUR ASKING FOR HELP FROM OMOCHAO?!"
Omochao: "Hi! there!"
Link: "Actually, I wanted to throw him as far as he could go. He'd probably head towards the Master Sword." Grabs the Omochao.
Omochao: "I like being held!"
Link: Throws Omochao.
Omochao: "WHEEEEE!!!" hits a tree and explodes
Link: "Aw... Well, that didn't help."
Old Man: "I told you Omochaos not helpful..."
Link: "Well... Do you have any ideas on finding the Master Sword?"
Old Man: "Well... I could give you this plot device that would help you... But, that would be too easy..."
Link: "That doesn't help."
Old Man: "Well it is a plot device..."
Link: "I want it! I don't care if it's too easy!"
Old Man: "What?! Stop changing your mind!!"
Link: "I need that Master Sword!"
Old Man: "Okay fine" looks around then hands Link a rock
Link: "What am I supposed to do with this?"
Old Man: "Don't ask me"
Link: "Omochao was more helpful..."
Old Man: "... He just rammed into a tree you call that 'More helpful' ?"
Link: "Yes!"
Old Man: "..." Smacks link on the head with his cane
Link: "Ouch!" Throws the rock at the old man.
Old Man: "..." steps to the side then hits link on the head again
Link: "STOP THAT!" Takes the old man's cane away.
Old Man: "Noo..." falls to the ground grasping his back "Ouchies..."
Link: Throws it back and walks off in a random direction.
Old Man: takes his cane "Leave now or i'll make my Torches Shoot fire at you!"
Link: "What torches? We're in the middle of the forest!"
Old Man: "HA!" the torches begin to shoot fire at link
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Runs into a nearby room.
3 hours later...
Old Man: "are you Going to stay in here forever?"
Link: "Maybe..."
Old Man: "Look I know where the master sword is just follow me..."
58 hours later
Link: "Hold on just a few more minutes, I'm playing EarthBound Zero!"
Door opens revealing a room full of NES games.
Old Man: Slaps link "You that this is time to play vidio games?! The future of the land rests on your shoulders!!!"
Link: "But I don't wanna go back out there..."
Old Man: drags Link by the ear
58 hours later
Old Man: "Here we are!"
Link: "Hurray! Wait, why is the Master Sword just laying on the ground?"
Old Man: "thats not it! over there!!!" points to a huge staircase that you can barly see the top of
4 days later
Link: Sleeping.
Old Man: distantly "keep going link your more that half way there!!"
Link: "H... Wha?" Yawn. "OK..." Continues walking.
1 week later
Link: "Is this the top yet?"
Old Man: "yeees!"
Link: "Yay! Where's the Master Sword?"
Old man: "I'll show you!"
a few weeks later
Link: "This is taking too long..."
Old man: reaches link "o... Okay... here... It is... pushes a door open
Link: Enters door.
Kino Makoto: "O-O LINK-SAMA?!"
Link: "Huh?"
Kino Makoto: Huggles Link
Link: "Um... Old man, I think you gave me the wrong directions..."
Old Man: "No They were Right"
Link: "Then where's that Master Sword?"
Kino Makoto: "OH! right here o-o I love MOO!!"
Link: "Thanks!" Takes the Master Sword. "Now to go back to that room and play video games..."
Old Man: "Uh oh he was too young..."
link and Kino get stuck in time for 7 years
7 years later
Link: "Huh? Agh... Feels like I've been stuck here for 7 years..."
Kino Makoto: "I LOVE MOO!"
Link: "O...K..." Begins to walk down the stairs.
Kino Makoto: " o•o wait link-sama!" chases after him
Link: "But I need to beat Ganon... Say, I wonder if that old man's still alive..."
Kino Makoto: "I wouldn't hold your breath, look there..." point to a coarpse
Link: "Hm... Now there's no one to tell me what to do!" Runs to the room.
Kino Makoto: "Wait I CAN HELP!"
Link: "Help what?"
Kino Makoto: "You with your quest oh great LINK-SAMA!" drools
Link: "But I don't wanna go on a quest..."
Kino Makoto: "... Hey I was the One who created that story 'Adventures with Omochao' I can help destroy them!"
Link: "But I wanna play EB0..."
Kino Makoto: "OKAY!! What ever you say Link-Sama! -" drools
Link: Enters room and begins playing.
To be continued…
Old Man: "Did you find the Evil slaying tool yet?"
Link: "Not yet." Trips over a sword. "Hey! This must be the Master Sword, despite the fact that it's nothing like it!"
Old Man: "Well thats because you haven't even entered the forest yet!"
Link: "...Oh." Enters forest.
Old Man: "Impossible child"
Meanwhile in the forest
Link: "I'm possible!"
Moblin: "BLAH!"
Link: "...I'm getting used to that. What do you want?"
Moblin: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE FOREST OF LOSTLESSNESS!?"
Link: "You mean the Lost Woods? Looking for the blade of evil's bane."
Moblin: "Who-ja-what-a-wa?"
Wolfos: "AWOO!"
Link: "Give me the Master Sword or I'll stab you with the wooden sword!"
Wolfos: "Why shold we?" Attack link
Link: Hits the Wolfos on the head.
Wolfos: "Ow..." swipes at link
Link: Jumps out of way. "Ha! You'll have to try harder than tha..." Looks down. "AHHHHH! I'M BLEEDING!" Runs around in circles.
Moblin and Wolfos: "-.-;;;"
Triforce peices: "You moron we're giving you courage!!!"
Link: "You're still inanimate objects!"
Triforce peices: "... So?"
Link: "So that means you can't talk! Only the completed Triforce can talk, and that's only because it's transmitting messages of the gods, like a radio!"
Moblin: "BLAH!" throws a rock at link"
Triforce peices: "Oh fine" they shut up
Link: "Wha? Ow!" Rubs head. Pulls a computer keyboard out of nowhere and smashes it over the Wolfos' head.
Moblin: "blah blah?!"
Wolfos: "Ouchies" dies
Moblin: "You'll pay dearly for that!!!" runs away
Link: "I won a battle! I get sixteen experience points!"
Rock: "No you don't..."
Link: Stabs rock.
Rock: "Ha HA! it'll take more than that to kill me!"
Link: "Hey, this reminds me of a comic I read once..." Throws the rock in a river.
Rock: "I'll get blub you blub blub... "
later
Link: Looks around. "Where's that Master Sword?!?"
Moblin: "BLAH! turn around and see what I have in store for you!!"
Link: Turns around. "Yes?"
Moblin: in a mech "BLAH!"
Link: "You said there was a store!"
Moblin: "Are you that dumb!?"
Link: "I think the answer to that is obvious!"
Moblin: "Right... Moron..." begins to shoot at link
Link: "Umm..." Throws a rock at the Moblin.
Moblin: "Didn't you throw that rock in the river? oh well..." shoots the rock
Link: "That wasn't the same rock! Well... There's one thing that never fails me!" Takes out the fork, which is, incidentally, one of the Triumph Forks, then stabs the mech."
Moblin: "Darn..." the mech explodes "Looks like team moblins blasting off agaaaaaaaaaain..."
Link: "...That was strange."
ping
Link: "Where's that old man?"
Old man: sneaks up behind link "BLAH!"
Link: "Ah! Old man! I need your help..."
Old man: "What? Your not scared?"
Link: "It doesn't matter... I need help finding the Master Sword... Could you get Omochao to help me?"
Old man: "WHAT!? YOUR ASKING FOR HELP FROM OMOCHAO?!"
Omochao: "Hi! there!"
Link: "Actually, I wanted to throw him as far as he could go. He'd probably head towards the Master Sword." Grabs the Omochao.
Omochao: "I like being held!"
Link: Throws Omochao.
Omochao: "WHEEEEE!!!" hits a tree and explodes
Link: "Aw... Well, that didn't help."
Old Man: "I told you Omochaos not helpful..."
Link: "Well... Do you have any ideas on finding the Master Sword?"
Old Man: "Well... I could give you this plot device that would help you... But, that would be too easy..."
Link: "That doesn't help."
Old Man: "Well it is a plot device..."
Link: "I want it! I don't care if it's too easy!"
Old Man: "What?! Stop changing your mind!!"
Link: "I need that Master Sword!"
Old Man: "Okay fine" looks around then hands Link a rock
Link: "What am I supposed to do with this?"
Old Man: "Don't ask me"
Link: "Omochao was more helpful..."
Old Man: "... He just rammed into a tree you call that 'More helpful' ?"
Link: "Yes!"
Old Man: "..." Smacks link on the head with his cane
Link: "Ouch!" Throws the rock at the old man.
Old Man: "..." steps to the side then hits link on the head again
Link: "STOP THAT!" Takes the old man's cane away.
Old Man: "Noo..." falls to the ground grasping his back "Ouchies..."
Link: Throws it back and walks off in a random direction.
Old Man: takes his cane "Leave now or i'll make my Torches Shoot fire at you!"
Link: "What torches? We're in the middle of the forest!"
Old Man: "HA!" the torches begin to shoot fire at link
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Runs into a nearby room.
3 hours later...
Old Man: "are you Going to stay in here forever?"
Link: "Maybe..."
Old Man: "Look I know where the master sword is just follow me..."
58 hours later
Link: "Hold on just a few more minutes, I'm playing EarthBound Zero!"
Door opens revealing a room full of NES games.
Old Man: Slaps link "You that this is time to play vidio games?! The future of the land rests on your shoulders!!!"
Link: "But I don't wanna go back out there..."
Old Man: drags Link by the ear
58 hours later
Old Man: "Here we are!"
Link: "Hurray! Wait, why is the Master Sword just laying on the ground?"
Old Man: "thats not it! over there!!!" points to a huge staircase that you can barly see the top of
4 days later
Link: Sleeping.
Old Man: distantly "keep going link your more that half way there!!"
Link: "H... Wha?" Yawn. "OK..." Continues walking.
1 week later
Link: "Is this the top yet?"
Old Man: "yeees!"
Link: "Yay! Where's the Master Sword?"
Old man: "I'll show you!"
a few weeks later
Link: "This is taking too long..."
Old man: reaches link "o... Okay... here... It is... pushes a door open
Link: Enters door.
Kino Makoto: "O-O LINK-SAMA?!"
Link: "Huh?"
Kino Makoto: Huggles Link
Link: "Um... Old man, I think you gave me the wrong directions..."
Old Man: "No They were Right"
Link: "Then where's that Master Sword?"
Kino Makoto: "OH! right here o-o I love MOO!!"
Link: "Thanks!" Takes the Master Sword. "Now to go back to that room and play video games..."
Old Man: "Uh oh he was too young..."
link and Kino get stuck in time for 7 years
7 years later
Link: "Huh? Agh... Feels like I've been stuck here for 7 years..."
Kino Makoto: "I LOVE MOO!"
Link: "O...K..." Begins to walk down the stairs.
Kino Makoto: " o•o wait link-sama!" chases after him
Link: "But I need to beat Ganon... Say, I wonder if that old man's still alive..."
Kino Makoto: "I wouldn't hold your breath, look there..." point to a coarpse
Link: "Hm... Now there's no one to tell me what to do!" Runs to the room.
Kino Makoto: "Wait I CAN HELP!"
Link: "Help what?"
Kino Makoto: "You with your quest oh great LINK-SAMA!" drools
Link: "But I don't wanna go on a quest..."
Kino Makoto: "... Hey I was the One who created that story 'Adventures with Omochao' I can help destroy them!"
Link: "But I wanna play EB0..."
Kino Makoto: "OKAY!! What ever you say Link-Sama! -" drools
Link: Enters room and begins playing.
To be continued…