Note: I don't know WHY I wrote this. I usually don't like SI or author's own characters thrown into the mix, and here I am doing it!!! But, it's still kinda different, I guess... I just wondered one day how Zim would react to being obstinately pestered by a cute, fluffy little creature...
Another note: What the heck is a "Skeep"? Go to this link to see a really old, really bad picture of a "Skeep":
http://www.angelfire.com/goth/animebats/Skeep.jpg
BTW: I don't own any of the IZ characters. They just wish I did. "The Skeep", however, is MINE!!! MINE, I TELLS YA!!! Oh, and I guess I also own myself (even though it seems that lately the credit card company owns me... *sighs*)
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"Zim VS The Skeep"
~*~
School was DONE. Ms. Bitters' "doom" quota for the day had been more than fulfilled, and the students were finally set free to run mindlessly out into the real world. Zim wondered briefly as he exited the large double doors how this "skool" possibly prepared these filthy human dirt monsters for living in such chaotically complicated conditions (try sayin' THAT three times fast while drinking nail polish!)
"Pheh!" With a little wave of his hand and a curt sound of disgust, Zim dismissed the subject from his mind. As he trod along the stained concrete tiles leading back to his makeshift "home", Zim silently thanked no one for the time alone he was granted between each horrible day of "skool". His base... Zim sighed, comforted. "My only sanctity of sanity...Even GIR does not bother to venture down into my labs...There, I can be ALONE..." Zim stopped for a moment, and proudly took in a large breath of air...which he subsequently gagged out. He growled, his fingers curling into his palms. "Human FILTH GAS!!!"
The air on Irk was so much more....pure... Most likely because not many invaders actually LIVED on the planet... The few that were not assigned planets of their own to conquer either occupied various services under The Tallest, or were banished to other planets to live out their lives in more humiliating servitude. Zim paused again, eyes towards the heavens as if he might actually catch a glimpse of his beloved home planet, so very far away. He had not actually lived on his planet for any long, consecutive time... So many years he had spent all over the universe, but never, it seemed, on Irk. Years of training, years of scouting... He then shrank a little in disgust as he remembered his many years of banishment and servitude on the filthy grease-planet of Foodcourtia. Banished... his own Tallest had once banished him...banished ZIM!!! But, why?? He was certainly a more capable invader than the others... Zim shrugged off this line of thought. He WAS better... the Tallest had given him THIS assignment now... This most important, and most secretive, of assignments. His Tallest DID believe in him... He would not let them down...
Zim turned the corner onto the last block of which his base stood square in the middle: fabricated by holographic technology; no more else than one lone couch and various other poorly-placed earthly devices, scant support beams, and many ganglia of wormlike wiring and tubes planted firmly into the disgusting earthly soil. "As much as I'd like to, I can't say this planet isn't sturdy...." Zim said aloud to no one. No one listened quite intently.
Before turning onto the thin, gnome-guarded path between the porch and the sidewalk, Zim froze in his tracks. Something seemed.....not right.... He could not, for the life of him, much as he tried, place exactly what it was. There was the house, standing firm in it's foundation, the gnomes, the various absurd and tacky decorative lawn creatures... Zim may never have noticed until one "decoration" on the fenced cocked it's head in curiosity at the little Irken. Unknowingly, Zim mimicked the creature's action, tipping his own head to the side to meet this oddity eye-to-eye.
Zim advanced until at an arm's length from the creature, and tipped his head towards the opposite shoulder, eyeing the tiny fluff-beast suspiciously. The beast seemed to mock him, moving it's own head again to meet the Irken's gaze. In an almost uncanny, and rather humorous, synchronicity, they brought their gazes upright. Zim glared at the little hair-monster on the fence. The hair-monster, in response, glared back.
"Filthy...earth...FUR-MONSTER!!! You DARE mock ZIM?????" The Irken screeched. The creature seemed amused by this, and smiled happily, baring little white fangs. The beast then seemed to settle itself a little more on the fence before looking back up at the irritated alien, and letting out one single, solitary noise as response...
"Skeep!" The little thing chirped.
Zim shook his fist at the creature. "What is this code you speak in, earth FILTH?!?!? You will tell me what you are doing at my base!!!! NOW!!!"
"Skeep!" The thing chirped again.
Zim would have none of this...."Skeep"....that the thing spoke of. "Shoo! Go away!!" The Irken tried, in vain, to brush the little creature off of his fence. The tiny beast fluttered up on little bat wings as the alien's gloved hand passed over where he had been, then landed back down onto the same little spot on the fence. This went on for about five minutes before Zim finally tired of the beast's little "game".
"GNOMES!! DESTROY THE FLUFF MONSTER!!" Zim faced his little "army", barking out the order. However, when Zim looked back to the fence, the creature was not there. His view was then suddenly obscured by a large pair of bright blue eyes.
"SKEEP!!" The creature chirped from it's new perch atop the Irken's synthetic pompadour.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! GET AWAY!!!! GET AWAY!!!!" The Irken screamed, running around in circles. He suddenly froze in his tracks as he noticed all the gnomes circled around him.
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Zim barely managed to avoid becoming a crispy critter as the gnomes fired continuously in the direction of his head. The Irken finally screamed at the gnomes to stop, and the absurdly-disguised robots immediately complied. When the dust and smoke around them cleared, the strange creature was not to be seen. High above him in the air, the fluff-beast fluttered in place, looking down at him with a strangely amused look on it's little bat face.
Confident that the threat was destroyed, Zim marched proudly to his front doorstep. He was just about to turn the knob of the front door when he felt a slight pressure bearing down on his head.
"SKEEP!!!" The creature chirped, giving one last insolent wiggle as he furrowed a makeshift nest in Zim's wig.
Zim growled loudly. He then began to shake his head furiously, hoping the throw the creature from his cranium, allowing him to safely slip into the base without incident. The beast grasped onto Zim's wig with his claws instinctively, but was thrown off nonetheless...along with the most crucial part of Zim's disguise.
Zim threw his arms up triumphantly. "HAAHAAAAA!!! SUCCESS!!! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ZIM, FILTHY HAIR-BEAST!!!" Zim suddenly froze in horror when he looked down at the little bat, now on the ground, with his toupee clutched in it's claws.
Zim frantically reached up to touch his head, only to find his two alien antennae....and no hair. "ARGGGGHH!! FLUFF-MONSTER!! RETURN THE HAIR OF ZIM!!!" The Irken cried, uttering the last word with menacing, yet absurd, emphasis. The creature's eyes went wide, and it tore out of the yard on little bat wings as fast as they could carry him. The Irken quickly covered his head with the nearest available resource, and proceeded to follow the creature as best he could.
The creature led Zim on quite a wild chase: through streets and alleys, over cars and dumpsters, and even through an elderly couple's living room. The Irken, however, never faltered in his chase. He kept his eyes glued to the creature as he followed it over hill and dale. This strategy, as useful as it might have been in, say, an open field, proved rather a hindrance than a help in a suburban neighborhood. The overzealously determined alien ran smack into a streetlight, knocking himself silly.
Zim regained consciousness only moments later. He lay flat on his back, gaze cast towards the heavens. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of what else but that horrible hair-monster smiling down at him from the top of the streetlight. Zim found the head covering he had hastily grabbed, and sheltered his alien head from the sun before any human could spot him. The well-trained Irken then abandoned all logic, reasoning, and dignity as he threw his fists towards the sky and let out the longest string of Irken obscenities any human has ever heard.
About a block away on the street perpendicular to the one Zim was busy embarrassing himself on, Dib easily heard the unfamiliar language being screamed in a very familiar voice. Dib dropped his skoolbag and ran up ahead of his sister, who wordlessly scooped up the abandoned bag with one hand as she continued playing her GameSlave with the other. She wouldn't have done this if it weren't for the fact that she had stuck her own books in Dib's backpack so SHE wouldn't have to carry them. Her backpack was already full enough from games and game systems, as well as junk food. Why torture herself with the weight, when she could torture her brother? But, she still had to carry it NOW, nonetheless. She made a mental note to destroy her sibling whenever he decided to come home.
As Gaz walked on to her destination, Dib rounded the corner, then stopped in surprise when he came upon the strange situation he had heard from a block down. Zim stood under the streetlamp, stomping, raving, and cursing loudly at some strange creature perched atop the metal post. Dib noticed the creature held Zim's wig in it's claws. He took in this scene with an odd kinda look, then walked up behind the ranting Irken. He crossed his arms, and waited for the venting alien to notice him standing there, but to no avail. Zim didn't even seem to notice the human watching him at all, and continued cursing the little fluff-beast, who was busy picking at the wig with it's claws.
Dib cleared his throat loudly, but Zim continued his string of Irken obscenities. Dib finally got the alien's attention when he screamed into the invader's ear...or where one would be, anyway...
Zim rubbed his temples in anger. "ERRRGGGHHH...WHY DID YOU DO THAT???" He screeched, scattering small drops of spittle along Dib's cheek.
Dib nonchalantly wiped away the droplets with the back of his hand, then inquired of the alien calmly, "Zim, WHAT in the name of all things holy are you DOING???"
Zim's eye twitched, and he looked back up quickly at the critter to make sure it was still there before responding to the troublesome human. "WHY is MY business of any importance to YOU, earth SCUM?!?!?"
Dib cocked an eyebrow at him. "Um....because you're standing under a streetlight with a plastic lungfish on your head screaming in some unknown language at a fluffy little bat making a nest out of a toupee?"
Zim glared at him, eyes filled with as much hate as he could muster that hadn't already been directed at the winged hair-monster. "BEGONE WITH YOU!!! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR INSOLENCE TODAY!!!" And with that, he simply turned his back to the Dib-human, and continued his potty-mouthed rant at the obstinate little fuzz-demon atop the streetlight.
Dib simply shook his head and shrugged. He doubted this little scene could have anything to do with world domination, and ran off to catch up with his sister, who was already more than a block ahead. When he did finally catch up to her, however, she belted him in the gut with his bookbag.
Meanwhile, Zim was reaching heretofore unknown realms of sheer anger as the "bat" creature now had the toupee on it's head. It seemed to smile down at him, and again gave one lone, mocking "Skeep!"
His brain not being able to handle the sheer MADNESS, he finally cracked, knowing nothing more to do than just scream angrily in defeat, clawing mindlessly at the air.
"Tsk....YOU LITTLE TURD!!!!" Zim froze, and looked around frantically for the source of the voice. He saw a strange-looking young woman on the opposite side of the pole, looking up angrily at the horrible little fuzz-demon. She had unusual, tricolor hair, and various strange metal adornments scattered on her face. "DOWN!!" She barked.
The little fluff-creature made a sort of sad noise of acquiescence, then flew down on it's little webby wings to perch on the woman's arm. She instantly noticed the hairpiece in it's claws. "Where did you get this???" She demanded of the creature. She then noticed the frazzled invader, and raised an eyebrow. She looked over the toupee in her hand, then approached the alien. "Um, is this yours?"
Zim said nothing, but just stared, dumbfounded, into space. I line of drool hung from his lip and connected to the ground.
"Ooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay........." The woman rolled her eyes, then haphazardly placed the toupee on top of the plastic lungfish on the little Irken's head. "Um...here!" She then trod off, scolding the fluff-creature all the way down the street.
For a moment, Zim could only just stand there, staring off into space.
After about 10 minutes, the great Irken, Invader Zim, promptly........fainted. ~*~
THE CHEESE-FLAVORED END!!!!
Be kind, please rewind...I mean, review!!!
Another note: What the heck is a "Skeep"? Go to this link to see a really old, really bad picture of a "Skeep":
http://www.angelfire.com/goth/animebats/Skeep.jpg
BTW: I don't own any of the IZ characters. They just wish I did. "The Skeep", however, is MINE!!! MINE, I TELLS YA!!! Oh, and I guess I also own myself (even though it seems that lately the credit card company owns me... *sighs*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Zim VS The Skeep"
~*~
School was DONE. Ms. Bitters' "doom" quota for the day had been more than fulfilled, and the students were finally set free to run mindlessly out into the real world. Zim wondered briefly as he exited the large double doors how this "skool" possibly prepared these filthy human dirt monsters for living in such chaotically complicated conditions (try sayin' THAT three times fast while drinking nail polish!)
"Pheh!" With a little wave of his hand and a curt sound of disgust, Zim dismissed the subject from his mind. As he trod along the stained concrete tiles leading back to his makeshift "home", Zim silently thanked no one for the time alone he was granted between each horrible day of "skool". His base... Zim sighed, comforted. "My only sanctity of sanity...Even GIR does not bother to venture down into my labs...There, I can be ALONE..." Zim stopped for a moment, and proudly took in a large breath of air...which he subsequently gagged out. He growled, his fingers curling into his palms. "Human FILTH GAS!!!"
The air on Irk was so much more....pure... Most likely because not many invaders actually LIVED on the planet... The few that were not assigned planets of their own to conquer either occupied various services under The Tallest, or were banished to other planets to live out their lives in more humiliating servitude. Zim paused again, eyes towards the heavens as if he might actually catch a glimpse of his beloved home planet, so very far away. He had not actually lived on his planet for any long, consecutive time... So many years he had spent all over the universe, but never, it seemed, on Irk. Years of training, years of scouting... He then shrank a little in disgust as he remembered his many years of banishment and servitude on the filthy grease-planet of Foodcourtia. Banished... his own Tallest had once banished him...banished ZIM!!! But, why?? He was certainly a more capable invader than the others... Zim shrugged off this line of thought. He WAS better... the Tallest had given him THIS assignment now... This most important, and most secretive, of assignments. His Tallest DID believe in him... He would not let them down...
Zim turned the corner onto the last block of which his base stood square in the middle: fabricated by holographic technology; no more else than one lone couch and various other poorly-placed earthly devices, scant support beams, and many ganglia of wormlike wiring and tubes planted firmly into the disgusting earthly soil. "As much as I'd like to, I can't say this planet isn't sturdy...." Zim said aloud to no one. No one listened quite intently.
Before turning onto the thin, gnome-guarded path between the porch and the sidewalk, Zim froze in his tracks. Something seemed.....not right.... He could not, for the life of him, much as he tried, place exactly what it was. There was the house, standing firm in it's foundation, the gnomes, the various absurd and tacky decorative lawn creatures... Zim may never have noticed until one "decoration" on the fenced cocked it's head in curiosity at the little Irken. Unknowingly, Zim mimicked the creature's action, tipping his own head to the side to meet this oddity eye-to-eye.
Zim advanced until at an arm's length from the creature, and tipped his head towards the opposite shoulder, eyeing the tiny fluff-beast suspiciously. The beast seemed to mock him, moving it's own head again to meet the Irken's gaze. In an almost uncanny, and rather humorous, synchronicity, they brought their gazes upright. Zim glared at the little hair-monster on the fence. The hair-monster, in response, glared back.
"Filthy...earth...FUR-MONSTER!!! You DARE mock ZIM?????" The Irken screeched. The creature seemed amused by this, and smiled happily, baring little white fangs. The beast then seemed to settle itself a little more on the fence before looking back up at the irritated alien, and letting out one single, solitary noise as response...
"Skeep!" The little thing chirped.
Zim shook his fist at the creature. "What is this code you speak in, earth FILTH?!?!? You will tell me what you are doing at my base!!!! NOW!!!"
"Skeep!" The thing chirped again.
Zim would have none of this...."Skeep"....that the thing spoke of. "Shoo! Go away!!" The Irken tried, in vain, to brush the little creature off of his fence. The tiny beast fluttered up on little bat wings as the alien's gloved hand passed over where he had been, then landed back down onto the same little spot on the fence. This went on for about five minutes before Zim finally tired of the beast's little "game".
"GNOMES!! DESTROY THE FLUFF MONSTER!!" Zim faced his little "army", barking out the order. However, when Zim looked back to the fence, the creature was not there. His view was then suddenly obscured by a large pair of bright blue eyes.
"SKEEP!!" The creature chirped from it's new perch atop the Irken's synthetic pompadour.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! GET AWAY!!!! GET AWAY!!!!" The Irken screamed, running around in circles. He suddenly froze in his tracks as he noticed all the gnomes circled around him.
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Zim barely managed to avoid becoming a crispy critter as the gnomes fired continuously in the direction of his head. The Irken finally screamed at the gnomes to stop, and the absurdly-disguised robots immediately complied. When the dust and smoke around them cleared, the strange creature was not to be seen. High above him in the air, the fluff-beast fluttered in place, looking down at him with a strangely amused look on it's little bat face.
Confident that the threat was destroyed, Zim marched proudly to his front doorstep. He was just about to turn the knob of the front door when he felt a slight pressure bearing down on his head.
"SKEEP!!!" The creature chirped, giving one last insolent wiggle as he furrowed a makeshift nest in Zim's wig.
Zim growled loudly. He then began to shake his head furiously, hoping the throw the creature from his cranium, allowing him to safely slip into the base without incident. The beast grasped onto Zim's wig with his claws instinctively, but was thrown off nonetheless...along with the most crucial part of Zim's disguise.
Zim threw his arms up triumphantly. "HAAHAAAAA!!! SUCCESS!!! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ZIM, FILTHY HAIR-BEAST!!!" Zim suddenly froze in horror when he looked down at the little bat, now on the ground, with his toupee clutched in it's claws.
Zim frantically reached up to touch his head, only to find his two alien antennae....and no hair. "ARGGGGHH!! FLUFF-MONSTER!! RETURN THE HAIR OF ZIM!!!" The Irken cried, uttering the last word with menacing, yet absurd, emphasis. The creature's eyes went wide, and it tore out of the yard on little bat wings as fast as they could carry him. The Irken quickly covered his head with the nearest available resource, and proceeded to follow the creature as best he could.
The creature led Zim on quite a wild chase: through streets and alleys, over cars and dumpsters, and even through an elderly couple's living room. The Irken, however, never faltered in his chase. He kept his eyes glued to the creature as he followed it over hill and dale. This strategy, as useful as it might have been in, say, an open field, proved rather a hindrance than a help in a suburban neighborhood. The overzealously determined alien ran smack into a streetlight, knocking himself silly.
Zim regained consciousness only moments later. He lay flat on his back, gaze cast towards the heavens. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of what else but that horrible hair-monster smiling down at him from the top of the streetlight. Zim found the head covering he had hastily grabbed, and sheltered his alien head from the sun before any human could spot him. The well-trained Irken then abandoned all logic, reasoning, and dignity as he threw his fists towards the sky and let out the longest string of Irken obscenities any human has ever heard.
About a block away on the street perpendicular to the one Zim was busy embarrassing himself on, Dib easily heard the unfamiliar language being screamed in a very familiar voice. Dib dropped his skoolbag and ran up ahead of his sister, who wordlessly scooped up the abandoned bag with one hand as she continued playing her GameSlave with the other. She wouldn't have done this if it weren't for the fact that she had stuck her own books in Dib's backpack so SHE wouldn't have to carry them. Her backpack was already full enough from games and game systems, as well as junk food. Why torture herself with the weight, when she could torture her brother? But, she still had to carry it NOW, nonetheless. She made a mental note to destroy her sibling whenever he decided to come home.
As Gaz walked on to her destination, Dib rounded the corner, then stopped in surprise when he came upon the strange situation he had heard from a block down. Zim stood under the streetlamp, stomping, raving, and cursing loudly at some strange creature perched atop the metal post. Dib noticed the creature held Zim's wig in it's claws. He took in this scene with an odd kinda look, then walked up behind the ranting Irken. He crossed his arms, and waited for the venting alien to notice him standing there, but to no avail. Zim didn't even seem to notice the human watching him at all, and continued cursing the little fluff-beast, who was busy picking at the wig with it's claws.
Dib cleared his throat loudly, but Zim continued his string of Irken obscenities. Dib finally got the alien's attention when he screamed into the invader's ear...or where one would be, anyway...
Zim rubbed his temples in anger. "ERRRGGGHHH...WHY DID YOU DO THAT???" He screeched, scattering small drops of spittle along Dib's cheek.
Dib nonchalantly wiped away the droplets with the back of his hand, then inquired of the alien calmly, "Zim, WHAT in the name of all things holy are you DOING???"
Zim's eye twitched, and he looked back up quickly at the critter to make sure it was still there before responding to the troublesome human. "WHY is MY business of any importance to YOU, earth SCUM?!?!?"
Dib cocked an eyebrow at him. "Um....because you're standing under a streetlight with a plastic lungfish on your head screaming in some unknown language at a fluffy little bat making a nest out of a toupee?"
Zim glared at him, eyes filled with as much hate as he could muster that hadn't already been directed at the winged hair-monster. "BEGONE WITH YOU!!! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR INSOLENCE TODAY!!!" And with that, he simply turned his back to the Dib-human, and continued his potty-mouthed rant at the obstinate little fuzz-demon atop the streetlight.
Dib simply shook his head and shrugged. He doubted this little scene could have anything to do with world domination, and ran off to catch up with his sister, who was already more than a block ahead. When he did finally catch up to her, however, she belted him in the gut with his bookbag.
Meanwhile, Zim was reaching heretofore unknown realms of sheer anger as the "bat" creature now had the toupee on it's head. It seemed to smile down at him, and again gave one lone, mocking "Skeep!"
His brain not being able to handle the sheer MADNESS, he finally cracked, knowing nothing more to do than just scream angrily in defeat, clawing mindlessly at the air.
"Tsk....YOU LITTLE TURD!!!!" Zim froze, and looked around frantically for the source of the voice. He saw a strange-looking young woman on the opposite side of the pole, looking up angrily at the horrible little fuzz-demon. She had unusual, tricolor hair, and various strange metal adornments scattered on her face. "DOWN!!" She barked.
The little fluff-creature made a sort of sad noise of acquiescence, then flew down on it's little webby wings to perch on the woman's arm. She instantly noticed the hairpiece in it's claws. "Where did you get this???" She demanded of the creature. She then noticed the frazzled invader, and raised an eyebrow. She looked over the toupee in her hand, then approached the alien. "Um, is this yours?"
Zim said nothing, but just stared, dumbfounded, into space. I line of drool hung from his lip and connected to the ground.
"Ooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay........." The woman rolled her eyes, then haphazardly placed the toupee on top of the plastic lungfish on the little Irken's head. "Um...here!" She then trod off, scolding the fluff-creature all the way down the street.
For a moment, Zim could only just stand there, staring off into space.
After about 10 minutes, the great Irken, Invader Zim, promptly........fainted. ~*~
THE CHEESE-FLAVORED END!!!!
Be kind, please rewind...I mean, review!!!