Time Warped
Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and the other characters regrettably belong to Eoin Colfer. Lucky guy.
Note: This is what happens when you write fanfic after watching Charmed.
Comments, suggestions, violent reactions and other of the like would be greatly appreciated.
Fowl Manor
Artemis, taking advantage of his parents' vacation time, has arranged a get together (at Juliet's request in her desperate need for some socialization) with the Butlers, Mulch, Holly and the other fairies.
He has it in the rec. room with the biggest flat screen Foaly has ever seen which causes him to unconsciously give a compliment to Artemis while Butler tries to find a good movie to watch. Juliet and Holly talk about some popular wrestling moves and Mulch, Foaly, Root and Trouble all pig out at the buffet table, which has gourmet food, veggies (for the special vegetarians) which included a big plate pilled up with carrots. (For a certain centaur) Then there's the drinks- soda, water, wine, shakes and alcohol (Beer, wine and other special drinks for the non-humans)
Everyone talks, eats, gets drunk (some more than others) and for some obscure reason, they watch a movie that involves moving through time and space after which, with most of the participants reasonably drunk, they decide to travel through time. Foaly is assigned to make the machine since he is the least drunk of everyone although he is quite full from eating all those carrots. He also is the other certified genius in the group.
Some Few Hours and 2 Movies Later
Foaly comes out with the time machine. (Not that anyone can see it.) He leads them into the underground and to a white room. (Think Matrix) Occupants are Foaly, Holly, Trouble, lovable ol' Root, Artemis, Juliet, Butler, Mulch. Everyone pretty much stares at each other for a bit, then…
Trouble: So, uhm, where is it?
Foaly: (in his usual annoying way with a clueless face) Where is what?
Holly: The time machine. glances around> I don't see it anywhere.
Foaly: It's right here. gestures>
everyone looks down and then glances around>
Butler: I still don't see it.
Foaly: sighs in his usual arrogant manner> It's right in front of you.
Mulch: You're the only thing right in front of me. Ugly, by the way. Although, I suggest that you better get this thing over with. Julius is turning purple again. grins>
Julius: The name convict…. turning redder, helped by the alcohol> I'm warning you……
Mulch: I'm not a convict anymore, Julius. (special emphasis on that last word)
Julius and Mulch exchange verbal fire and everyone else watches and suddenly…>
Artemis: How did you do it?
Foaly: Finally! Someone gets it! Took you long enough.
everyone turns and looks at him>
Artemis: It's quite obvious actually. The watch.
Everyone: O-o-o-o-o-o-h.
Foaly closes his eyes and shakes his head disbelievingly, as though amazed at their apparent
stupidity, which actually just irks everyone even more.>
Juliet: peering at it> Isn't it supposed to be a big thing? Complicated mechanics and all. You know, like in the movies?
Foaly: repeating the ever so annoying head shake accompanied by the I'm-so-tired-of-your-stupidity-sigh, which (how can I ever change tradition) majorly gets on everyone's nerves>
Human movies. repeats annoying sigh> This is complicated machinery but unlike the primitive depictions of the typical Mud Man movies, I actually simplified the formula a bit and compressed it into a more practical device which everyone can easily bring and wear. A watch. creatures stare again for a sec and then comes all exclamations or more bluntly, the lies, about who knew it all along. Foaly opens an invisible door out of the white room, goes out and returns holding a small box. He opens the lid and gives everyone a stainless steel skin flat watch with a different color for each. Everyone peers at them first then put them on>
Foaly: Okay, these are new so obviously they haven't been tested yet. So, something might go wrong. I did my research very thoroughly and I'm not even sure if you can actually travel through time. The parameters are vague even to the People.
Root: grunts> Like what exactly are the possibilities?
Foaly: Well, if the time windows do exist, the problems are that we could be very well be stuck in time. he ticks that on with one finger> Another is that we can be separated, disembodied even. another finger> and of course, there are also other options if there aren't any time windows.
Artemis: Do you have the formula?
Foaly: Not now mudboy. Maybe later. I'm not trusting you with a formula, technology or otherwise.
Artemis: I'm a genius, remember? walks up to the centaur> I can check if it actually has the possibility of working.
Foaly: stares at him for a bit then rattles off a meaningless formula-to everyone else>
Artemis: Assuming there are time dimensions, the watches should work. With some risks.
Trouble: Assuming everyone is still a little drunk, lets do this.
Root: grunts> Can anyone tell me why we are actually still doing this?
Holly: Because we are all curious on what the future holds, Foaly did it, he has experience with the time stop, and…
Trouble: we are all drunk.
Foaly: Okay everyone, on signal press the button on the upper right side of the watch. We have to hold hands, in case it actually matters, and if something bad happens press the button again. Hopefully, we'll still be in one piece together after this. Okay, Holly, whenever you're ready. Everyone steps closer to one another and has an index finger on the button>
Holly: inhales deeply> Now! the collective sounds of a 'toot!' And everyone quickly holds hands>
Then everything spins and spins and spins and spins and spins, well you get the picture, and finally stops. Everyone lets go and kneels, their heads spinning with nausea, and some vomit. When everyone gets back up, there is a collective gasp, some ohmigod's, and of course, the D'Arvit!'s. Everyone stares at each other, aghast.
Foaly: Oops……
Okay! How is that? In the next chapter the plan is slight mix-up. Please send reviews!