Ooooh! I have reviews! hugs person nearby who just looks bewildered
THANK YOU PEOPLE!
Sorry I've been long to update. I've been really busy tripping people with my mind.
Coincidentally, my muse is on vacation sob!>
To Imd: Thanks for the tips!
R&R!
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Chapter 2
fiddles with a gadget> mmm…….okay….it's ready!
My muse is gone so I'm out of ideas. Went shopping to buy one. Only had a bit of money….only bought this. Points to a dilapidated thing that resembles a typewriter/control box>
So this thing I bought at the flea market is supposed to be able to read the thoughts of people, fairies, elves, dwarf's, mutants, etc. Well, that's what the creepy woman with the weird accent said.
Anyway, I'll try it out now.
flicks the switch.>
pause> hmm… kicks the gadget> 'Toooooot!'
(Gadget says: Reading…) There you go.
(Reminder: these are thoughts…)
Transcript:
Trouble: I cannot believe this! I'm a female! Although Juliet looks a lot better from this point of view-for a human.
Holly: This isn't my body. I'm going to kill Foaly! That centaur! D'arvit! I swear I'm going to pour coffee all over his precious machines and sugar instead of salt in the shaker and put swear toads…..
Root: D'ARVIT! D'ARVIT! D'ARVIT! That centaur! There're going to be a lot of budget cuts this year! Look at all this hair! Bugs! Typical convict…
Mulch: Man, this human is tall! Look at these hands! And he stinks! What is that smell? Freshness?
Trouble: Mmm…not bad…
Juliet: What happened? Why am I in Artemis' body! This is too weird! He really needs to start working out, though. Absolutely no muscle.
Butler : I'm PUNY! SmaLL! But at least she's got some muscle. But what in the world happened?
Holly: Yeah….I definitely have more muscle than this guy...and Trouble said I didn't have any muscle…
Artemis: Apply balance on all four feet. This is hard.
Foaly: Ah…legs…rocks back and forth a bit Not that hard to get used to. I can feel a phantom backside and two extra legs, though. I think I'm going to have a heart attack. How does Julius breathe with these lungs? What in the world happened? goes through computations>
Trouble: Look at this…
Transcript ends…
'Toot!' machine conks out> So I guess the dialogue will have to start…
Trouble: flexes Juliet's muscles>
Juliet: Wait! Who's that flexing my muscles?
Trouble: abruptly stops> Um…Trouble. So…you, Juliet are in Artemis' body?
Artemis: Wait, Juliet is in my body? (his concentration slips and he wobbles on the four legs)
Foaly: And you are in mine. Julius, I swear, you are going to have a heart attack pretty soon.
Root: Stop with the name, will you! It's your fault I'm in the convict's horrible hairy body!
Mulch: Wow, the Commander is in my body, what an honor for you. And may I say, Butler , you are unbelievably tall. And we dwarfs happen to have a strong distaste for heights. How many times a day do you work out anyway to get like this?
Root: gives a very annoyed sigh>
Butler : And I'm unbelievably small with a lot less muscle. (frowns at hearing himself use Holly's voice) And a rather high voice.
Holly: Hey! At least I have more muscle than Trouble! Ha! I can see that from here I really had more muscle! And you said I had none.
Trouble: Oh, really? (not the least bothered by his/Juliet's voice) Not now, you don't. flexes Juliet's arm again>
Artemis: Foaly! Are you sure you told me the whole formula?
Foaly: narrows his eyes at Artemis> for the travel. The one for destination, it's rattles off>
Everyone stares and some blink after being unable to follow>
Both of the genius's eyes widen>
Artemis and Foaly: …6+410
Artemis: 10!
Foaly: Oops…
Root: 6+410? Even I can do that! Idiot centaur! D'ARVIT!
Foaly: Hey, I was drunk!
Trouble: So let me get this, you got the travel thing right -
Holly: but the where part wrong! Foaly!
Mulch: So we're stuck like this?
Butler : Exactly how long?
Juliet: Uhm, guys….. GUYS!
everyone stares at Juliet in Artemis' body>
Holly: What?
Juliet: I think I need to use the bathroom
Mulch: Uhm, me too…
Holly: Oh, hell, I need to go…
Foaly: Way too much beer Commander…
Root: You better find a way to fix this Foaly because grunts> I need to go but I do not need to see some parts of a filthy convict!
Trouble: Ditto for me, (glances at Juliet-in Artemis' body) except for the filthy convict part.
Butler : Close our eyes?
Artemis: Some of us are inexperienced in other's bodies and have no idea how to walk Artemis tries to walk, loses his balance and slips on all four feet> and much less how to go to the bathroom. struggles to get up>
Foaly: grins as he goes to help Artemis> Another thing you can't do, Mud Boy! It's quite easy, although, I've never seen a human in my body try. I imagine it's something like crawling.
Artemis: stares blankly at Foaly> I was a toddler the last time I crawled.
Foaly: You never played or anything? Like pretend you were a horse, which you are now?
Artemis: pauses for thought> No.
Foaly: sighs> Poor human childhood. Just try to balance on all four feet. We pee upright anyway. Just try not to get any on me, ah, on you.
Artemis looks up and sees everyone staring at them waiting for a solution to the evident problem.
Juliet: I really need to go…
Holly: So do I. stares evilly at Trouble>
Artemis: You want to close your eyes?
Holly: I'm in a guy's body. How do you expect me to close my eyes? I have to HOLD something! shudders
Foaly: Uhm…the owner of the body could help?
everyone glares at him>
Foaly: Right bad idea…
I really need my muse.
Anyway, if you guys can suggest something for the next chap….
Click this button down there
Yep
That one!