Chapter 3 Part Two
Leon inserted the heart key and once inside, collected the ammo on the ground that was in abundance despite the numerous reports claiming that there wasn't any ammo left. Leon went downstairs and heard paws on the ground. Leon aimed his gun and waited. He waited some more. And some more! When finally the zombie dog came into view. It had claws, red eyes and it looked a lot like Pluto, the Disney dog. Leon shot the dog and the next one after that. Too bad Leon didn't get the third one. The dog circled him once and then bit him on the ass with its teeth.
Leon: Damn mutt! (Takes out knife and stabs it to death.) Stupid dog.
Leon runs down the latter and once again, encounters Sherry. Leon, once again, using his ingenious reasoning with children, approaches Sherry with his bloodstained knife.
Leon: Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. Just come over to me you good little (Thinking 'bitch' but says) girl.
Sherry wisely runs away, but not before she gives Leon a good kick to the shin just for being an idiot. Leon screams in pain and anger trying to get back at the young lass, but fails. Leon then goes into the garage. Leon notices a van up ahead and decides to investigate hoping to find some confiscated drug of some sort. Halfway across the lot, a shot hit the ground at his feet causing him to turn around in surprise. Leon turned around and saw a sexy Asian woman.
Ada: Sorry about that, with your bad acting, I thought you were a zombie.
Leon: It's okay, a common mistake.
The camera went into Leon's point of view as Ada is viewed from her feet towards her head. It stopped on two certain parts of the torso.
Leon: Don't feel bad about trying to shoot me. It's quiet obvious that you can't hit the broad side of a barn. Anyway you're hot so tell me your name.
Ada: Ada, Ada Wong. I'm looking for my lost boyfriend and a reporter who might know his whereabouts.
Leon: Wow, you lost your boyfriend? You must have been one lousy girlfriend. But don't worry about him, you should worry about yourself. You see, I've met a lot of people lately and for some odd reason, they keep on dying. And I would say that your chances of living are pretty slim as well.
Ada: I don't care! I'm going to find him so he can tell me where he put those damn car keys! Leon: Wow, you guys must have been pretty close to share stuff.
Ada: Yeah we shared documents together. Very special documents. But that's not important! I need to talk to the reporter.
Leon: Have you thought about the possibility that he left?
Ada: No, that's not possible. You want to know why that van is in the way?
[Flashback]
Ben and the other survivors are huddled in a group with a small pile of food before them. They are in the garage.
Irons: We don't have enough food for everyone. Someone is going to have to be voted off. But to make things fair, we'll draw straws. Whoever has the shortest one has to go hungry tonight.
Everyone draws and Ben is deemed the loser.
Irons: The tribe has spoken!
At this point, someone hit a drum and Ben's light is extinguished. Ben, however, disagrees.
Ben: Damn, I don't believe this! Why am I always the loser? You know what? I think Irons rigged this whole thing just because of the negative paper I wrote about him. This is so unfair.
Irons: (Thinking) Damn, he's on to me! (Speaking) Now Ben, that's absurd. Why don't you secure a place where Beverly and I can rest- I mean, a place where everyone can rest?
Ben: Forget you! Forget all of you! I'm going to leave you guys and go join another tribe. We'll have pizza, we'll stay up late, and we'll exchange really scary ghost stories and none of you will be invited!
After giving these words, Ben left the group and went into the jail area of the police station. Irons sees this as his chance to get rid of the reporter by blocking the door with a van.
Irons: Hey look everyone! It's the band Creed! (Points to the above ground parking lot.)
Everyone runs over to investigate as Irons pushes the van in front of the door. He finishes.
Irons: Whoops! False alarm!
Everyone muttered a few complaints and walk away. Irons goes over to Beverly.
Irons: Would you like to accompany me, Beverly?
Beverly: Sure, just as long as I don't end up as some hunting trophy or something.
Irons: Well let's not hope for too much.
[End Flashback]
Leon: So, how long has he been trapped behind the van? And most importantly, why didn't you do anything to help him?
Ada: Gee, I didn't think about that. I guess its because while he was trapped, I didn't hear any of his bad pick-up lines and complaints. And I guess I just forgot about him.
Leon and Ada pushed the van out of the way and went inside. Ada ran off the second they were inside.
Leon: Ada wait!
Ada continues to run away. Leon shoots at Ada but misses on purpose.
Leon: I said wait!
Ada and Leon went into the jail and before Leon could get that manhole cover opener, a cut-scene started.
Leon: (Hits the bar) Let me guess, you must be David Spade. (To Ada) Is this the guy?
Ada: Yes, but his name is Ben. (Turns to Ben) Ben, you told the city officials that you knew something about what's been going on. What did you tell them?
Ben: And who the heck are you?
Ada: My name's Ada Wong and I'm trying to find my boyfriend who suddenly disappeared six months ago.
Ben: If it was six months ago then it couldn't quite be 'sudden' now can it? That's an oxy-moron.
Ada: Okay, okay bad choice of words. Now can you-.
At this point, the trio is interrupted by the terrible sound of a monster's scream. It sounded like whoo whoo whoo from the fat guy from the Three Stooges.
Ben: That's why I'm not leaving this cell. Those zombies aren't the only things crawling around out there.
Leon: Well you won't have to worry about anything much longer, you'll be dead soon enough.
Ben: What!
Leon: Look, if you want to live, (sounds like Arnold S. from Terminator 2) come with me.
Ben: But, do you even know how to get outside of the city? There's a kennel in the back, inside the kennel there's a manhole. Go through and you can get to the sewer entrance that will apparently lead you to Umbrella's secret lab, but it won't be easy.
Leon: Of course it will be, I'm playing on the easy skill level.
Ada: All right, I'm going. (Leaves)
Leon: Damn, not again! (Runs to the door.)
Ben: Hey! You'll want this opener!
Leon: Oh yeah. (Takes it and leaves)
Leon then goes into the kennel and sees that despite what she said, Ada wasn't there. Leon then used his manhole opener and went downstairs. Leon kills the spiders and goes to the other end of the hall where he climbs the stairs. Leon goes through, yup, you guessed it, another door, and inserts his chess piece. Much to his dismay, he has to find three more. Leon goes back to the last room and whom does he meet? That's right! Ada!
Leon: Ada, I don't think introduced myself. My name is Leon; I'm with Alcoholics Anonymous-I mean, the Raccoon police.
Ada: (Rolls eyes) That's nice Leon. Anyway give me a boost so I can go through this shaft.
Leon: (Bends down and Ada steps on him) God you're heavy!
Ada: (Stomps on his' back) Never ever tell a woman she's heavy! Not unless you have a death wish.
Ada lands on the other side and sees Sherry, who runs away, dropping her pendent along the way. Ada picks it up.
Ada: How cute, that little girl dropped this. I think I'll keep it for her. It will be my precious.
Ada goes outside and shoots all the zombies. Then she goes down the elevator to collect the shotgun ammo. She goes into the second room now.
Ada: Damn! Not another lame puzzle Capcom cooked up just to kill time.
After doing the simple puzzle, Ada collected the key and ran back to the room with the vent. Leon was waiting on the other side.
Ada: Leon! Can you hear me?
Leon: No.
Ada: (Steps forward) Can you hear me now?
Leon: Yes.
Ada: Good, good. Anyway, here's a key and some ammo. Now that the mini- quest is complete, I'm going to leave, see ya.
Leon: Ada wait! (Ada leaves) Damn, she ran away again. I don't get it. I took a bath only a month ago. I'm clean.
Leon then goes to the morgue where there is a person lying dead on the table with a sign on its back that read: "I told you I was sick, but NO! You didn't believe me, did you?" Leon grabbed the keycard, which started the corny horror music that was scary only the first time. Zombies came out of the panels and approached Leon, blocking him from his escape. He shot them all and continued. Leon went into the gunroom and took the ammo. Leon then went to the far east side of the police station and used the key on the door. Leon entered into a room with a fireplace, three red statues in the wall, and a picture with a metal gear.
Leon: Well it's fairly obvious what I have to do here.
Being the genius that he is, Leon spent the next five minutes trying to pry the metal out of the painting with his fingers when he heard a door open and scary music blared. Leon felt a tapping sensation on his back and turned to see Mr. X handing him a crowbar. Not getting the hint that this would be an appropriate time to haul ss out of there like an intelligent fellow, Leon grumbled "thanks" and pried the piece loose, Leon took it. A second later Leon felt an enormous fist collide with his skull. But thanks to Capcom's laws of physics, even though Mr. X could tear down walls, he could not bring Leon's health down to 'caution' with just one hit. Leon did what he was famous for, running away like a scared idiot, which brought him to the hallway where he ran into Mr. X again who burst though the wall with great ease, yet lacked the power to kill a human. Mr. X walked over to Leon.
Leon: Wow, you look a little stiff around the joints if you know what I mean. Here, take this.
Leon tosses a bottle over to Mr. X and it bends over to pick up the bottle, giving Leon the time he needed to figure out that he could escape now. He runs away. Mr. X looks at the label which reads: E-Z Go Laxative, Maximum Strength. (Mint Flavored) Mr. X looks around to see if any is watching, then pops the cap and tilts it the its chin. The screen goes completely black as we hear gulping noises. Meanwhile, Leon is on the second floor balcony.
Leon: That was close. (Hears licker rasping) Geez, is my windpipe in need of a good alcoholic beverage.
Leon ducks just in time to take out his ankle flask as the licker sails over him. The licker, suspended in midair for a few seconds, holds up a sign that says, "Help me!" Then drops to the ground like Willy Coyote. Leon then goes to Irons' trophy room. By putting in the two red jewels, he gets the second chess piece. He then goes into the library. Once he took a second step, zombies came in through the windows on the first floor. Luckily, since Leon was almost done with this stage, it didn't really matter.
Leon: Ha, ha. (Goes to puzzle) What the Hell is this thing? (Leon shrugs and goes to the power control. He activates it and one of the book selves moves.) Wow, maybe there's a secret passage here just like in Scooby- Doo.
Leon scampers from switch to switch hitting and hitting. He does this until the puzzle is accidentally completed.
Leon: Damn, another chess piece? Was the engineer who made this place obsessed with that game or what?
Leon goes upstairs and heads towards the clock tower when suddenly; Mr. X's hand latches on to the balcony railing.
Leon: Go to Hell. (Breaks said railing)
Mr. X's hand now waves goodbye as gravity takes its toll. Leon is now inside the clock room and he heads upstairs to insert the clog piece. When he accomplishes this, the shaft down to the basement opens and the last chess piece is presented. Leon takes it and goes down the shaft. At the bottom, Leon hears Ben screaming.
Ben: No! Get back or else I'll say a bunch of mean words.
William: O.k. I'll leave. (Slashes Ben and leaves while shouting whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop like Curly from the Three Stooges)
Leon runs to Ben just in time to see him drop and lean against a cell wall.
Leon: Hey, that's a cool shirt, but what happened to your white one? (Puts two and two together but only gets –1). Looks like you need to use more bleach
Ben: Damn it! I thought I was going to get the scoop of the year when I exposed the truth, but no, this happens.
Ben then goes into a passionate speech on how Chief Irons was involved in the cover-up of the mansion and the possibility he was responsible for the current nightmare. It was a good speech too. What a shame Leon didn't hear a word of it because he was sleeping.
Ben: . . . And I'm glad that even though I will die a cold death, at least someone knows the truth. (Notices that Leon is asleep.) Hey! Have you been sleeping along? You fuc- (Dies)
Leon: (Wakes up) Mom?
Ada: (Comes in) Is Ben dead?
Leon: (Points to bloody mess) Nay, he's just having himself a nap.
Ada: Oh. Well I've been here for a whole six seconds gotta run. (Leaves)
Leon chases Ada to the room with the chess puzzle only Ada isn't there. Instead, William, looking very scary with his balloon hammer that he got from Six Flags. William then attempts to mutate, but only rips the seat of his pants. Suffering from mild embarrassment, he leaps off the platform shouting "whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop."
Leon completes the puzzle and confronts Ada, who just came down from the ceiling.
Leon: Ada! (Goes down to her) What was that all about? You're really starting to over use the "ladies first" thing. From now on, I want you to stay with me.
Ada: Fine, we'll do things your way for now.
Leon: (Thinking) Yes! I'm on my way to getting laid.
End of Chapter 3 Part Two
Author's notes
Well folks, we're 2/3 of the way done with this spoof. So now we at Earl McFlanders INC. would like to take the time to thank our patrons. Fist there is Tsunami-Aoi, who for some odd reason, enjoyed our RE 1 Spoof and The Three Amigos Sorta so much that she put the stories in her favorite list. Then we have Trained Killer who put this fic on the favorite list.
See you again next time.
Leon inserted the heart key and once inside, collected the ammo on the ground that was in abundance despite the numerous reports claiming that there wasn't any ammo left. Leon went downstairs and heard paws on the ground. Leon aimed his gun and waited. He waited some more. And some more! When finally the zombie dog came into view. It had claws, red eyes and it looked a lot like Pluto, the Disney dog. Leon shot the dog and the next one after that. Too bad Leon didn't get the third one. The dog circled him once and then bit him on the ass with its teeth.
Leon: Damn mutt! (Takes out knife and stabs it to death.) Stupid dog.
Leon runs down the latter and once again, encounters Sherry. Leon, once again, using his ingenious reasoning with children, approaches Sherry with his bloodstained knife.
Leon: Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. Just come over to me you good little (Thinking 'bitch' but says) girl.
Sherry wisely runs away, but not before she gives Leon a good kick to the shin just for being an idiot. Leon screams in pain and anger trying to get back at the young lass, but fails. Leon then goes into the garage. Leon notices a van up ahead and decides to investigate hoping to find some confiscated drug of some sort. Halfway across the lot, a shot hit the ground at his feet causing him to turn around in surprise. Leon turned around and saw a sexy Asian woman.
Ada: Sorry about that, with your bad acting, I thought you were a zombie.
Leon: It's okay, a common mistake.
The camera went into Leon's point of view as Ada is viewed from her feet towards her head. It stopped on two certain parts of the torso.
Leon: Don't feel bad about trying to shoot me. It's quiet obvious that you can't hit the broad side of a barn. Anyway you're hot so tell me your name.
Ada: Ada, Ada Wong. I'm looking for my lost boyfriend and a reporter who might know his whereabouts.
Leon: Wow, you lost your boyfriend? You must have been one lousy girlfriend. But don't worry about him, you should worry about yourself. You see, I've met a lot of people lately and for some odd reason, they keep on dying. And I would say that your chances of living are pretty slim as well.
Ada: I don't care! I'm going to find him so he can tell me where he put those damn car keys! Leon: Wow, you guys must have been pretty close to share stuff.
Ada: Yeah we shared documents together. Very special documents. But that's not important! I need to talk to the reporter.
Leon: Have you thought about the possibility that he left?
Ada: No, that's not possible. You want to know why that van is in the way?
[Flashback]
Ben and the other survivors are huddled in a group with a small pile of food before them. They are in the garage.
Irons: We don't have enough food for everyone. Someone is going to have to be voted off. But to make things fair, we'll draw straws. Whoever has the shortest one has to go hungry tonight.
Everyone draws and Ben is deemed the loser.
Irons: The tribe has spoken!
At this point, someone hit a drum and Ben's light is extinguished. Ben, however, disagrees.
Ben: Damn, I don't believe this! Why am I always the loser? You know what? I think Irons rigged this whole thing just because of the negative paper I wrote about him. This is so unfair.
Irons: (Thinking) Damn, he's on to me! (Speaking) Now Ben, that's absurd. Why don't you secure a place where Beverly and I can rest- I mean, a place where everyone can rest?
Ben: Forget you! Forget all of you! I'm going to leave you guys and go join another tribe. We'll have pizza, we'll stay up late, and we'll exchange really scary ghost stories and none of you will be invited!
After giving these words, Ben left the group and went into the jail area of the police station. Irons sees this as his chance to get rid of the reporter by blocking the door with a van.
Irons: Hey look everyone! It's the band Creed! (Points to the above ground parking lot.)
Everyone runs over to investigate as Irons pushes the van in front of the door. He finishes.
Irons: Whoops! False alarm!
Everyone muttered a few complaints and walk away. Irons goes over to Beverly.
Irons: Would you like to accompany me, Beverly?
Beverly: Sure, just as long as I don't end up as some hunting trophy or something.
Irons: Well let's not hope for too much.
[End Flashback]
Leon: So, how long has he been trapped behind the van? And most importantly, why didn't you do anything to help him?
Ada: Gee, I didn't think about that. I guess its because while he was trapped, I didn't hear any of his bad pick-up lines and complaints. And I guess I just forgot about him.
Leon and Ada pushed the van out of the way and went inside. Ada ran off the second they were inside.
Leon: Ada wait!
Ada continues to run away. Leon shoots at Ada but misses on purpose.
Leon: I said wait!
Ada and Leon went into the jail and before Leon could get that manhole cover opener, a cut-scene started.
Leon: (Hits the bar) Let me guess, you must be David Spade. (To Ada) Is this the guy?
Ada: Yes, but his name is Ben. (Turns to Ben) Ben, you told the city officials that you knew something about what's been going on. What did you tell them?
Ben: And who the heck are you?
Ada: My name's Ada Wong and I'm trying to find my boyfriend who suddenly disappeared six months ago.
Ben: If it was six months ago then it couldn't quite be 'sudden' now can it? That's an oxy-moron.
Ada: Okay, okay bad choice of words. Now can you-.
At this point, the trio is interrupted by the terrible sound of a monster's scream. It sounded like whoo whoo whoo from the fat guy from the Three Stooges.
Ben: That's why I'm not leaving this cell. Those zombies aren't the only things crawling around out there.
Leon: Well you won't have to worry about anything much longer, you'll be dead soon enough.
Ben: What!
Leon: Look, if you want to live, (sounds like Arnold S. from Terminator 2) come with me.
Ben: But, do you even know how to get outside of the city? There's a kennel in the back, inside the kennel there's a manhole. Go through and you can get to the sewer entrance that will apparently lead you to Umbrella's secret lab, but it won't be easy.
Leon: Of course it will be, I'm playing on the easy skill level.
Ada: All right, I'm going. (Leaves)
Leon: Damn, not again! (Runs to the door.)
Ben: Hey! You'll want this opener!
Leon: Oh yeah. (Takes it and leaves)
Leon then goes into the kennel and sees that despite what she said, Ada wasn't there. Leon then used his manhole opener and went downstairs. Leon kills the spiders and goes to the other end of the hall where he climbs the stairs. Leon goes through, yup, you guessed it, another door, and inserts his chess piece. Much to his dismay, he has to find three more. Leon goes back to the last room and whom does he meet? That's right! Ada!
Leon: Ada, I don't think introduced myself. My name is Leon; I'm with Alcoholics Anonymous-I mean, the Raccoon police.
Ada: (Rolls eyes) That's nice Leon. Anyway give me a boost so I can go through this shaft.
Leon: (Bends down and Ada steps on him) God you're heavy!
Ada: (Stomps on his' back) Never ever tell a woman she's heavy! Not unless you have a death wish.
Ada lands on the other side and sees Sherry, who runs away, dropping her pendent along the way. Ada picks it up.
Ada: How cute, that little girl dropped this. I think I'll keep it for her. It will be my precious.
Ada goes outside and shoots all the zombies. Then she goes down the elevator to collect the shotgun ammo. She goes into the second room now.
Ada: Damn! Not another lame puzzle Capcom cooked up just to kill time.
After doing the simple puzzle, Ada collected the key and ran back to the room with the vent. Leon was waiting on the other side.
Ada: Leon! Can you hear me?
Leon: No.
Ada: (Steps forward) Can you hear me now?
Leon: Yes.
Ada: Good, good. Anyway, here's a key and some ammo. Now that the mini- quest is complete, I'm going to leave, see ya.
Leon: Ada wait! (Ada leaves) Damn, she ran away again. I don't get it. I took a bath only a month ago. I'm clean.
Leon then goes to the morgue where there is a person lying dead on the table with a sign on its back that read: "I told you I was sick, but NO! You didn't believe me, did you?" Leon grabbed the keycard, which started the corny horror music that was scary only the first time. Zombies came out of the panels and approached Leon, blocking him from his escape. He shot them all and continued. Leon went into the gunroom and took the ammo. Leon then went to the far east side of the police station and used the key on the door. Leon entered into a room with a fireplace, three red statues in the wall, and a picture with a metal gear.
Leon: Well it's fairly obvious what I have to do here.
Being the genius that he is, Leon spent the next five minutes trying to pry the metal out of the painting with his fingers when he heard a door open and scary music blared. Leon felt a tapping sensation on his back and turned to see Mr. X handing him a crowbar. Not getting the hint that this would be an appropriate time to haul ss out of there like an intelligent fellow, Leon grumbled "thanks" and pried the piece loose, Leon took it. A second later Leon felt an enormous fist collide with his skull. But thanks to Capcom's laws of physics, even though Mr. X could tear down walls, he could not bring Leon's health down to 'caution' with just one hit. Leon did what he was famous for, running away like a scared idiot, which brought him to the hallway where he ran into Mr. X again who burst though the wall with great ease, yet lacked the power to kill a human. Mr. X walked over to Leon.
Leon: Wow, you look a little stiff around the joints if you know what I mean. Here, take this.
Leon tosses a bottle over to Mr. X and it bends over to pick up the bottle, giving Leon the time he needed to figure out that he could escape now. He runs away. Mr. X looks at the label which reads: E-Z Go Laxative, Maximum Strength. (Mint Flavored) Mr. X looks around to see if any is watching, then pops the cap and tilts it the its chin. The screen goes completely black as we hear gulping noises. Meanwhile, Leon is on the second floor balcony.
Leon: That was close. (Hears licker rasping) Geez, is my windpipe in need of a good alcoholic beverage.
Leon ducks just in time to take out his ankle flask as the licker sails over him. The licker, suspended in midair for a few seconds, holds up a sign that says, "Help me!" Then drops to the ground like Willy Coyote. Leon then goes to Irons' trophy room. By putting in the two red jewels, he gets the second chess piece. He then goes into the library. Once he took a second step, zombies came in through the windows on the first floor. Luckily, since Leon was almost done with this stage, it didn't really matter.
Leon: Ha, ha. (Goes to puzzle) What the Hell is this thing? (Leon shrugs and goes to the power control. He activates it and one of the book selves moves.) Wow, maybe there's a secret passage here just like in Scooby- Doo.
Leon scampers from switch to switch hitting and hitting. He does this until the puzzle is accidentally completed.
Leon: Damn, another chess piece? Was the engineer who made this place obsessed with that game or what?
Leon goes upstairs and heads towards the clock tower when suddenly; Mr. X's hand latches on to the balcony railing.
Leon: Go to Hell. (Breaks said railing)
Mr. X's hand now waves goodbye as gravity takes its toll. Leon is now inside the clock room and he heads upstairs to insert the clog piece. When he accomplishes this, the shaft down to the basement opens and the last chess piece is presented. Leon takes it and goes down the shaft. At the bottom, Leon hears Ben screaming.
Ben: No! Get back or else I'll say a bunch of mean words.
William: O.k. I'll leave. (Slashes Ben and leaves while shouting whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop like Curly from the Three Stooges)
Leon runs to Ben just in time to see him drop and lean against a cell wall.
Leon: Hey, that's a cool shirt, but what happened to your white one? (Puts two and two together but only gets –1). Looks like you need to use more bleach
Ben: Damn it! I thought I was going to get the scoop of the year when I exposed the truth, but no, this happens.
Ben then goes into a passionate speech on how Chief Irons was involved in the cover-up of the mansion and the possibility he was responsible for the current nightmare. It was a good speech too. What a shame Leon didn't hear a word of it because he was sleeping.
Ben: . . . And I'm glad that even though I will die a cold death, at least someone knows the truth. (Notices that Leon is asleep.) Hey! Have you been sleeping along? You fuc- (Dies)
Leon: (Wakes up) Mom?
Ada: (Comes in) Is Ben dead?
Leon: (Points to bloody mess) Nay, he's just having himself a nap.
Ada: Oh. Well I've been here for a whole six seconds gotta run. (Leaves)
Leon chases Ada to the room with the chess puzzle only Ada isn't there. Instead, William, looking very scary with his balloon hammer that he got from Six Flags. William then attempts to mutate, but only rips the seat of his pants. Suffering from mild embarrassment, he leaps off the platform shouting "whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop."
Leon completes the puzzle and confronts Ada, who just came down from the ceiling.
Leon: Ada! (Goes down to her) What was that all about? You're really starting to over use the "ladies first" thing. From now on, I want you to stay with me.
Ada: Fine, we'll do things your way for now.
Leon: (Thinking) Yes! I'm on my way to getting laid.
End of Chapter 3 Part Two
Author's notes
Well folks, we're 2/3 of the way done with this spoof. So now we at Earl McFlanders INC. would like to take the time to thank our patrons. Fist there is Tsunami-Aoi, who for some odd reason, enjoyed our RE 1 Spoof and The Three Amigos Sorta so much that she put the stories in her favorite list. Then we have Trained Killer who put this fic on the favorite list.
See you again next time.