Welp…After how many YEARS, I decided that perhaps it was time that I stopped neglecting all my stories… not to mention that I also have two other ideas for stories that need to get made… --;; BTW… a few things I should mention… Kind of like a cross between Gizmo and a parrot, the Skeep can actually speak some minimal amounts of English, but never more than a word or two at a time. Why this is, I have not stopped to figure out yet. ;; Also, I decided to have Mme. Director make more of an appearance in this fic (she's the owner of the Skeep, remember?) Please don't kill me for putting in another fancharacter!! Geesh, I complain about there being too many fics with fancharacters, and yet here I am DOING IT!!! Though, I suppose these aren't your usual fancharacters…they really have nothing to do with the characters of the show except crossing paths in this fic…. Anyhow, I also have a couple of pictures, one of Mme. Director, and an updated version of "The Skeep" himself… (it dances!) Okay… I REALLY need to shut up now… OO' (wonders if anyone will actually read all this…)
Mme. Director (there's a little preview for one of the next fics I'll be writing, and the pic has some basic information about Mme. D, if anyone cares… --; I never understood the whole fancharacter thing, until I created my own…
The NEW and IMPROVED "Skeep!" last thing… I don't own Invader Zim. Viacom does. All I own is the Skeep and Mme. D. And with that said, on to CHAPTER FOUR!
"SKEEP DOES DALLAS!" blurts out laughing kidding…
"The GIR and Mr. Skeep"
"YEOWCH!!! ERGH! YOU WRETCHED…..THING!!"
Zim removed his ever-present glove and inspected his minty-green Irken hand for any burn damage. Something was most definitely wrong with his back pod… it had never short-circuited like that before, and it ESPECIALLY never sparked like it just had…
Zim slipped his hand back into his glove, and stood back from the table a moment, pondering the situation. Looking around the room, he spotted a pair of salad tongs that GIR must have left in the lab. At least it would allow him the distance from the wires so he wouldn't get ZAPPED again…
Zim grabbed the plastic tongs, and attempted to go back in after that weird shiny thing he saw….
The stench of vinegar suddenly attacked Zim's senses as he pulled out the cause of his pod's malfunction.
"What do they call these disgusting, smelly, drippy things again…?" Zim thought to himself. "A……..pickle…?" Zim growled to himself, and discarded the filthy human object of disgust into the proper waste receptacle. "GIR….."
Zim marched over to the elevator, and ascended up into the house. No sooner had he come up through the toilet lid than his auditory senses were assaulted by GIR's ubiquitous, high-pitched, laughter.
"Well, at least he's HERE…" Zim muttered begrudgingly to himself.
The Irken soldier stormed into the living room, where he was greeted by the site of GIR cackling maniacally and kicking his little metallic legs in the air while a frighteningly familiar fluffy fiend had a purple drink umbrella in it's mouth, and was doing an odd little dance as Shonen Knife's "Cannibal Papaya" played on the radio.
It took a moment for this odd scene to fully register in the little alien's head.
Zim suddenly sprang forward, pointing at the dancing creature. "YOU!!!!"
The downy little beast froze. He turned and stared at the wicked villain intruding his fun time with his new friend. Upon recognizing the familiar green tone of the gatecrashing alien's skin, he promptly spit the umbrella out at the enraged Irken, and fled to a safe spot under the couch.
Zim followed suit. "COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME, YOU WRETCHED LITTLE BEAST!!!" Zim dove to the couch and tried to grasp around underneath in search of the furry little monster…
The Skeep, meanwhile, had other plans.
While Zim was occupied grasping around in the darkness under the couch, the little bat slipped out from under the side, and quietly snuck around behind the irritated Irken.
"SKEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!" The Skeep flapped it's wings loudly as it screeched it's little lungs out.
"GAAAAH!!!" Zim was so startled he ended up hitting his head on the underside of the couch and knocking himself unconscious….AGAIN…
The curious Skeep waddled over to where the Irken lay with his head still under the couch. The creature cocked his head at the fallen invader, then delicately reached out one of it's clawed feet, and ripped a large hole in the seat of Zim's pants.
"Pickle!" The thing chirped, before skittering off out the front door. GIR watched the creature for a moment as it disappeared from view, then quick threw on his disguise and also took off out the front door.
"WAIT! I WANT A PICKLE TOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Meanwhile, Hildegard Widigast seemed even more irate than usual. Her belligerent little pet hadn't been home for more than two days. Even though he was known to escape his hutch every once in a while, he usually returned within a day or so… Despite the fact that the creature was a constant annoyance to the young film directress, she still somewhat admired the creature for it's independence… The little bat kind of reminded her of herself sometimes…
She stapled another flyer to the fence in front of her. On it was a candid picture of the Skeep as he was rummaging through a pickle jar. Under the photo, it read: "Have you seen this little bastard?" and the usual contact information. Mme. Director gazed at the picture and sighed.
"He really does remind me of myself…" She thought, then paused a moment.
"I should probably avoid having children…"
BZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!
"YAAAAAAH!!!!"
"No one gets in to see the Professor WITHOUT SECURITY CLEARANCE!!! How many times do I have to EXPLAIN this to you???"
"And how many times do I have to explain to YOU that he's my DAD?!?!?" Dib countered the guard's statement.
"LOOK, kid…I don't care WHO you are…unless you have SECURITY CLEARANCE, or you MAKE IT INTO THE AUDIENCE, NO ONE gets in the studio!! Audience tryouts are on the OTHER SIDE of the BUILDING, and this is the LAST time I'm gonna explain this to you!" The guard again zapped the little trenchcoated boy with the large cattle prod.
"YAAAAAAAAAH!!!! KNOCK IT OFF!!!!" Dib backed away from the power-tripping guard. "Hey, I was here for the ceremony for the unveiling of the P.E.G. generator, and they gave me security clearance THEN!!"
"That was a special circumstance. We don't use the same detection equipment on normal days. Now why don't you just LEAVE already??" The guard held out the cattle prod defensively, and Dib jumped backwards, just missing getting fried again. Dib was about to say something when he suddenly noticed two frighteningly familiar figures cross the lawn outside the building.
"HEY!! WHAT ABOUT THEM??? THEY'RE JUST WALKING RIGHT IN!!!" Dib pointed behind the guard to the disguised robot and the bat.
"OH no… I'm not falling for THAT one, kid…Now why don't you just go HOME??"
"BUT JUST LOOK BEHIND YOU!!! THEY'RE RIGHT THERE!!!"
"That's the oldest trick in the book! You really think I'm gonna fall for THAT??"
"BUT THEY…..ERGH… FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THEY'RE….!!!!" Dib sighed and shook his head in disbelief as the critter and the robot walked right past the other guard and into the building. Unbeknownst to anyone else, the other guard was fast asleep standing up. It was usually pretty quiet at this job except for that Dib kid, but they were so used to him trying to get into the building at least every other week that he decided to just let the rookie take care of it so he could get some more "guarding" experience. Indeed, he was far past asleep when GIR and the Skeep snuck right past him and through the front door…
"THEY JUST WENT RIGHT PAST THAT OTHER GUY AND INTO THE BUILDING!!!" Dib insisted.
"Okay, kid.. I'll humor you… WHO just went into the building?" The guard leaned on his cattle prod like a cane.
"A little dog…thing…. And a little BAT…thing!!!"
Mme. Director's ear twitched. What was that she just heard??
"And you say they just walked right on past that other trained guard over there?" The guard questioned disbelievingly.
"Well, YEAH…." Dib replied in a rather snide tone.
"WHAT was it you said that went into that building?" A deep female voice with a heavy German accent inquired. Dib turned around to see where the voice had come from. Mme. D. approached the two arguing males, still holding an unusually large staple gun and an armload of flyers.
"A little green dog and this…bat…thing…" Dib answered, eyeing the strange young woman curiously.
"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!! Who are YOU?? DROP THAT WEAPON!!" The guard held up the large cattle prod in a fighting stance.
The somewhat-threatening young woman quirked an eyebrow. "It's a stapler. Though, I doubt a person like you has ever even seen PAPER before, let alone tools to work with it."
The guard took a defensive stance. "Hey, I've SEEN paper before, lady! I went to public school once!"
"Well... that explains it then..." Mme. Director smirked.
"Ya know, I don't GET you, lady..." The jerk with the cattle-prod stammered, then again raised the electric psychological extension of his manhood. "Now...are you gonna drop that weapon and back away slowly, or am I gonna have to get TOUGH?"
"Oh, electrocute me, big boy. I love a man who knows how to work animal torture devices. ROWR." Despite laughing hysterically on the inside, the young directress delivered the line with an astoundingly straight face. She also completely floored the guard, who was now completely unsure of how to deal with the situation.
Amused and satisfied with the results of her brilliant stroke of acting, 'Hilde' turned to face the small, raven-haired boy next to her. "Now...you said that a..."bat thing"..." she paused, making 'quote marks' in the air with her fingers, "...went in that studio?"
"Yeah. And he was with an alien robot disguised as a green dog." Dib responded, in all seriousness.
"Uhhh............Well hot damn, I'll bet he was! Now, if you'll excuse me..." She quipped sarcastically, as she turned back to deal with the guard.
The young paranormalist seemed slightly peeved. "I'm not crazy..."
Hilde looked back over her shoulder at him. "Uh HUH..........................OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?!?" She screamed, pointing far behind the vertically-challenged boy.
Dib didn't even flinch, let alone look behind him. "Do you have any idea how many times people have done that to me?"
'Yes, well... I'm sure they all had reasons." She threw him a plastic smile, then made a little 'shoo shoo' motion with her hand. "Okay, go away now."
Dib regarded her coldly. "Nope."
Mme. Director growled slightly in the back of her throat, then focused her attention on the black and purple blur at the back of her vision slowly making it's way up the sidewalk.
"Gaz?" Dib had turned to look to where the directress so intently tried to focus her vision. He then looked back up to the young woman and raised an eyebrow. "Do you need glasses or something?"
Hilde scowled. "I forgot them. So sue me."
Gaz stopped a few feet in front of her brother and the strange woman, eyeing them curiously for a moment, then reaching out and grabbing her brother by the arm. "Come on, Dib. Time to stop bothering Dad for once, and help me clean the kitchen again. It still smells like pickles."
Dib struggled in his sister's vice-like grip. "But... we CAN'T leave NOW! I just saw that thing go into Dad's studio!"
"You mean that BAT that's made our house forever REAK of pickle juice? Then, yeah...." Gaz paused, lowering her voice, "... It's on now...." The violent little girl grasped her brother's arm roughly, and proceeeded to go around the back of the studio to the staff entrance.
"Hey... hey, wait!" Mme. Director ran out in front of them. "That 'bat' is my PET. If anyone's gonna find him and kick his fuzzy little butt, it's gonna be ME!"
Gaz looked up with her usual half-lidded stare. "Yeah. That's nice." Without further word, she walked around the rainbow-haired woman towards her destination. Hilde looked on incredulously as the pig-headed guard not only let the purple-haired girl just waltz on past him, but actually saluted her as she did so.
Not to be outdone, she turned her nose up in the air and attempted to follow the children while the guard was still in saluting-position...only to have him snap back in a millisecond: cattle-prod aimed and ready to strike.
"And just where do you think YOU'RE going??" He snarled.
The young woman's jaw dropped slightly, and she pointed to where Gaz and Dib dissappeared from view. "You let HER through! AND the other kid! And they're just CHILDREN!"
"She has clearance. And anyone else can get in as long as they're accompanied by someone ELSE with clearance." The guard stated, matter-of-factly.
Mme. Director was exasperated. "How does a CHILD have clearance????"
"I'm afraid that's classified information."
"......Sure. Fine." Hilde crossed her arms and sat in the middle of the sidewalk, pouting. She cocked an eye up at the guard as he again raised his cattle prod.
"HEY! NO LOITERING!"
Okay so... not the best place to end it on, but I just wanted to post SOMETHING.... it's going to get better soon. Trust me. :) NOW REVIEW OR DIE!
...just kidding.
Mme. Director (there's a little preview for one of the next fics I'll be writing, and the pic has some basic information about Mme. D, if anyone cares… --; I never understood the whole fancharacter thing, until I created my own…
The NEW and IMPROVED "Skeep!" last thing… I don't own Invader Zim. Viacom does. All I own is the Skeep and Mme. D. And with that said, on to CHAPTER FOUR!
"SKEEP DOES DALLAS!" blurts out laughing kidding…
"The GIR and Mr. Skeep"
"YEOWCH!!! ERGH! YOU WRETCHED…..THING!!"
Zim removed his ever-present glove and inspected his minty-green Irken hand for any burn damage. Something was most definitely wrong with his back pod… it had never short-circuited like that before, and it ESPECIALLY never sparked like it just had…
Zim slipped his hand back into his glove, and stood back from the table a moment, pondering the situation. Looking around the room, he spotted a pair of salad tongs that GIR must have left in the lab. At least it would allow him the distance from the wires so he wouldn't get ZAPPED again…
Zim grabbed the plastic tongs, and attempted to go back in after that weird shiny thing he saw….
The stench of vinegar suddenly attacked Zim's senses as he pulled out the cause of his pod's malfunction.
"What do they call these disgusting, smelly, drippy things again…?" Zim thought to himself. "A……..pickle…?" Zim growled to himself, and discarded the filthy human object of disgust into the proper waste receptacle. "GIR….."
Zim marched over to the elevator, and ascended up into the house. No sooner had he come up through the toilet lid than his auditory senses were assaulted by GIR's ubiquitous, high-pitched, laughter.
"Well, at least he's HERE…" Zim muttered begrudgingly to himself.
The Irken soldier stormed into the living room, where he was greeted by the site of GIR cackling maniacally and kicking his little metallic legs in the air while a frighteningly familiar fluffy fiend had a purple drink umbrella in it's mouth, and was doing an odd little dance as Shonen Knife's "Cannibal Papaya" played on the radio.
It took a moment for this odd scene to fully register in the little alien's head.
Zim suddenly sprang forward, pointing at the dancing creature. "YOU!!!!"
The downy little beast froze. He turned and stared at the wicked villain intruding his fun time with his new friend. Upon recognizing the familiar green tone of the gatecrashing alien's skin, he promptly spit the umbrella out at the enraged Irken, and fled to a safe spot under the couch.
Zim followed suit. "COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME, YOU WRETCHED LITTLE BEAST!!!" Zim dove to the couch and tried to grasp around underneath in search of the furry little monster…
The Skeep, meanwhile, had other plans.
While Zim was occupied grasping around in the darkness under the couch, the little bat slipped out from under the side, and quietly snuck around behind the irritated Irken.
"SKEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!" The Skeep flapped it's wings loudly as it screeched it's little lungs out.
"GAAAAH!!!" Zim was so startled he ended up hitting his head on the underside of the couch and knocking himself unconscious….AGAIN…
The curious Skeep waddled over to where the Irken lay with his head still under the couch. The creature cocked his head at the fallen invader, then delicately reached out one of it's clawed feet, and ripped a large hole in the seat of Zim's pants.
"Pickle!" The thing chirped, before skittering off out the front door. GIR watched the creature for a moment as it disappeared from view, then quick threw on his disguise and also took off out the front door.
"WAIT! I WANT A PICKLE TOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Meanwhile, Hildegard Widigast seemed even more irate than usual. Her belligerent little pet hadn't been home for more than two days. Even though he was known to escape his hutch every once in a while, he usually returned within a day or so… Despite the fact that the creature was a constant annoyance to the young film directress, she still somewhat admired the creature for it's independence… The little bat kind of reminded her of herself sometimes…
She stapled another flyer to the fence in front of her. On it was a candid picture of the Skeep as he was rummaging through a pickle jar. Under the photo, it read: "Have you seen this little bastard?" and the usual contact information. Mme. Director gazed at the picture and sighed.
"He really does remind me of myself…" She thought, then paused a moment.
"I should probably avoid having children…"
BZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!
"YAAAAAAH!!!!"
"No one gets in to see the Professor WITHOUT SECURITY CLEARANCE!!! How many times do I have to EXPLAIN this to you???"
"And how many times do I have to explain to YOU that he's my DAD?!?!?" Dib countered the guard's statement.
"LOOK, kid…I don't care WHO you are…unless you have SECURITY CLEARANCE, or you MAKE IT INTO THE AUDIENCE, NO ONE gets in the studio!! Audience tryouts are on the OTHER SIDE of the BUILDING, and this is the LAST time I'm gonna explain this to you!" The guard again zapped the little trenchcoated boy with the large cattle prod.
"YAAAAAAAAAH!!!! KNOCK IT OFF!!!!" Dib backed away from the power-tripping guard. "Hey, I was here for the ceremony for the unveiling of the P.E.G. generator, and they gave me security clearance THEN!!"
"That was a special circumstance. We don't use the same detection equipment on normal days. Now why don't you just LEAVE already??" The guard held out the cattle prod defensively, and Dib jumped backwards, just missing getting fried again. Dib was about to say something when he suddenly noticed two frighteningly familiar figures cross the lawn outside the building.
"HEY!! WHAT ABOUT THEM??? THEY'RE JUST WALKING RIGHT IN!!!" Dib pointed behind the guard to the disguised robot and the bat.
"OH no… I'm not falling for THAT one, kid…Now why don't you just go HOME??"
"BUT JUST LOOK BEHIND YOU!!! THEY'RE RIGHT THERE!!!"
"That's the oldest trick in the book! You really think I'm gonna fall for THAT??"
"BUT THEY…..ERGH… FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THEY'RE….!!!!" Dib sighed and shook his head in disbelief as the critter and the robot walked right past the other guard and into the building. Unbeknownst to anyone else, the other guard was fast asleep standing up. It was usually pretty quiet at this job except for that Dib kid, but they were so used to him trying to get into the building at least every other week that he decided to just let the rookie take care of it so he could get some more "guarding" experience. Indeed, he was far past asleep when GIR and the Skeep snuck right past him and through the front door…
"THEY JUST WENT RIGHT PAST THAT OTHER GUY AND INTO THE BUILDING!!!" Dib insisted.
"Okay, kid.. I'll humor you… WHO just went into the building?" The guard leaned on his cattle prod like a cane.
"A little dog…thing…. And a little BAT…thing!!!"
Mme. Director's ear twitched. What was that she just heard??
"And you say they just walked right on past that other trained guard over there?" The guard questioned disbelievingly.
"Well, YEAH…." Dib replied in a rather snide tone.
"WHAT was it you said that went into that building?" A deep female voice with a heavy German accent inquired. Dib turned around to see where the voice had come from. Mme. D. approached the two arguing males, still holding an unusually large staple gun and an armload of flyers.
"A little green dog and this…bat…thing…" Dib answered, eyeing the strange young woman curiously.
"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!! Who are YOU?? DROP THAT WEAPON!!" The guard held up the large cattle prod in a fighting stance.
The somewhat-threatening young woman quirked an eyebrow. "It's a stapler. Though, I doubt a person like you has ever even seen PAPER before, let alone tools to work with it."
The guard took a defensive stance. "Hey, I've SEEN paper before, lady! I went to public school once!"
"Well... that explains it then..." Mme. Director smirked.
"Ya know, I don't GET you, lady..." The jerk with the cattle-prod stammered, then again raised the electric psychological extension of his manhood. "Now...are you gonna drop that weapon and back away slowly, or am I gonna have to get TOUGH?"
"Oh, electrocute me, big boy. I love a man who knows how to work animal torture devices. ROWR." Despite laughing hysterically on the inside, the young directress delivered the line with an astoundingly straight face. She also completely floored the guard, who was now completely unsure of how to deal with the situation.
Amused and satisfied with the results of her brilliant stroke of acting, 'Hilde' turned to face the small, raven-haired boy next to her. "Now...you said that a..."bat thing"..." she paused, making 'quote marks' in the air with her fingers, "...went in that studio?"
"Yeah. And he was with an alien robot disguised as a green dog." Dib responded, in all seriousness.
"Uhhh............Well hot damn, I'll bet he was! Now, if you'll excuse me..." She quipped sarcastically, as she turned back to deal with the guard.
The young paranormalist seemed slightly peeved. "I'm not crazy..."
Hilde looked back over her shoulder at him. "Uh HUH..........................OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?!?" She screamed, pointing far behind the vertically-challenged boy.
Dib didn't even flinch, let alone look behind him. "Do you have any idea how many times people have done that to me?"
'Yes, well... I'm sure they all had reasons." She threw him a plastic smile, then made a little 'shoo shoo' motion with her hand. "Okay, go away now."
Dib regarded her coldly. "Nope."
Mme. Director growled slightly in the back of her throat, then focused her attention on the black and purple blur at the back of her vision slowly making it's way up the sidewalk.
"Gaz?" Dib had turned to look to where the directress so intently tried to focus her vision. He then looked back up to the young woman and raised an eyebrow. "Do you need glasses or something?"
Hilde scowled. "I forgot them. So sue me."
Gaz stopped a few feet in front of her brother and the strange woman, eyeing them curiously for a moment, then reaching out and grabbing her brother by the arm. "Come on, Dib. Time to stop bothering Dad for once, and help me clean the kitchen again. It still smells like pickles."
Dib struggled in his sister's vice-like grip. "But... we CAN'T leave NOW! I just saw that thing go into Dad's studio!"
"You mean that BAT that's made our house forever REAK of pickle juice? Then, yeah...." Gaz paused, lowering her voice, "... It's on now...." The violent little girl grasped her brother's arm roughly, and proceeeded to go around the back of the studio to the staff entrance.
"Hey... hey, wait!" Mme. Director ran out in front of them. "That 'bat' is my PET. If anyone's gonna find him and kick his fuzzy little butt, it's gonna be ME!"
Gaz looked up with her usual half-lidded stare. "Yeah. That's nice." Without further word, she walked around the rainbow-haired woman towards her destination. Hilde looked on incredulously as the pig-headed guard not only let the purple-haired girl just waltz on past him, but actually saluted her as she did so.
Not to be outdone, she turned her nose up in the air and attempted to follow the children while the guard was still in saluting-position...only to have him snap back in a millisecond: cattle-prod aimed and ready to strike.
"And just where do you think YOU'RE going??" He snarled.
The young woman's jaw dropped slightly, and she pointed to where Gaz and Dib dissappeared from view. "You let HER through! AND the other kid! And they're just CHILDREN!"
"She has clearance. And anyone else can get in as long as they're accompanied by someone ELSE with clearance." The guard stated, matter-of-factly.
Mme. Director was exasperated. "How does a CHILD have clearance????"
"I'm afraid that's classified information."
"......Sure. Fine." Hilde crossed her arms and sat in the middle of the sidewalk, pouting. She cocked an eye up at the guard as he again raised his cattle prod.
"HEY! NO LOITERING!"
Okay so... not the best place to end it on, but I just wanted to post SOMETHING.... it's going to get better soon. Trust me. :) NOW REVIEW OR DIE!
...just kidding.