Disclaimer: I do not own... WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE THIS ALL AGAIN!? Yeah, what it says on the last chapter. I don't own the teachers, even though I changed and made up their names.
o0o
The group filed out, fairly worried- but it turned out that they were actually there. The Harry-Potter music started playing and Harry started dancing around in circles, flicking his wand about. It stopped.
Oops... sorry. I forgot you're not the incredible Harry Potter anymore... just some sad boy and his boring journey which nobody's interested in...
Violins started playing and Harry shook his fist to the air. He reached into his bag and pulled out a yellow felt tip pen, along with a black and drew a lightening scar and a pair of glasses on his face with the pens. A girl with shabby robes, carrying a cat swooped past.
"It's not Halloween until next year!" She called, pointing and laughing at him. "Who do you think you are? The great Harry Potter?" She laughed. "Fat chance of that!" The girl skipped gracefully away and Harry stared down at his large pot belly covering it up, embarrassed. Harry thought desperately for an idea of getting off the pen, he spilt some of his drink onto a tissue and tried rubbing it off, but when he looked into Hermione's mirror, he saw that it had made no difference. He read the print on the felt pens. 'WARNING! This pen is permanent. DO NOT use on faces."
"Doh!" Harrgid (Half Harry, half Hagrid) cursed even more.
Things were beginning to get boring so Yuffie livened things up a bit. She tied a rope around Harry's leg and tied the other to the wheel on the carriage. They all climbed on at lightening speed and Harry was left there talking to himself, Cloud signalled the thestral and it took off at the speed of light. Harry was left hurtling along the ground and was dragged, bumped and bruised all the way to Hogwarts.
o0o
Harry rubbed his head, there was a big lump, he had a mountain on his head! Well, not literally but... anyway, they made their way into Hogwarts. Outside there was a demented tree with goofy teeth and googly eyes. "Hey, tree. Yo, whazzup?" Harry said.
The tree stared strangely at them. "Lawnmower, baked beans, window, marmalade?" Replied the tree, doing a Indian dance.
"Strange or what?" Tifa whispered to Cloud. "You're not strange, Cloudy!"
Cloud rolled his eyes. "Ugh... girls these days! Although she is HOT!" A girl with blue hair and green eyes strode their way, Cloud drooled after her. He shook his head when her face suddenly turned into a Halloween witches face and a wart appeared on the end of her nose. "Hide me Tiff!" Cloud dived under her skirt and started shuddering. "Nice legs by the way!"
"EEEeeeeww!" Tifa shrieked. "Cloud Strife! You perv!"
The FF7 gang looked up at the building and wondered why flights of stairs kept crashing through the walls. People stood on them screaming as the flights of stairs crashed through other walls. A brick fell on Harry's head, then another, then a whole load of bricks.
"Stupid stairs!" He sighed. Harry was having loads of bad luck.
When they got into the building a teacher stood there, halting them and blabbing on and on about the rules of Hogwarts.
"If you have Hog warts keep away from everyone else, they are contagious!" Sephiroth mimicked.
"Where's the Hog?" Vincent wondered, not quite getting his head round everything. Hermione saw Ron getting out a pair of every flavour jeans, and he licked the orange denim, delightedly. Orange juice flavour. His favourite.
Hermione nagged him about how every flavour jeans were so unhealthy, and unhygienic as god knows who's been wearing them. Ron sighed, he was tired of people going on and on at him, he got enough of it from his nagging mum. Ron was so tired of it he decided to... decided to... cast a spell!
"Hocus pocus diddly doo, I'm tired of yer nagging so freeze you!" Ron shouted, it was a spell which he made up meaning to turn her into an ice cube. Instead it somehow turned Hermione into another Ron. An exact clone, with the exact movements of the real Ron.
The two Rons chorused. "Err... Harry? What have I done? I'll try turning her back." They both said. DUR Ron! Whatever you do, the clone does at exactly the same time. It was like someone waving at themselves in the mirror, the other person always waves back at you, well- maybe not in this world. The two Ron's both zapped each other and they both turned into a pair of glasses.
"Coo-el! I'm Harry Potter again!" Harry said, putting on the glasses.
"Oh dear, what has happened here?" (I don't know any of the teachers names, apart from Dumbledore and Snape so I'll make them up.) Mrs. Doohickey took out her wand and with a mere flick, they turned back into people. "Not a good start, eh boys?" Mrs. Doohickey raised her eyebrows. Hermione shrieked.
"I'm not a boy!" She took out her mirror and gasped. Her hair was in huge spikes, boy style. Hermione screamed. "My life is over!"
"You are new here, yes?" The teacher questioned the FF7 characters. They nodded, and the teacher wrote down their names on a flying clipboard. "Excellent! You are now ready to be sorted." The flying clipboard flew off. Oh, and just before I disappear- I have to inform you of some slight changes. The First Years and the Second Years will be taught together this term. That is all." And she literally disappeared.
Suddenly, Aeris slipped and a ball of holy white materia bonked Cid on the head. A puff of white smoke, harps and clouds surrounded him.
"Heavenly angels, guard me... take me to the world of escalators!" Cid drifted around, sitting down and playing the harp, singing like a strangled cat.
"Oh darn!" Sephiroth sarcastically said, flicking a spike at Cid. "The top of my masamune seems to have fallen off..." Cid joyfully, with a bounce in his step, trod on it! His face went beetroot red.
"Oh... fudge! I will not swear! I... I... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" He stuck his lance in the portrait of the fat lady. The effect of the holy materia had obviously worn off.
"THAT f-ING HURT!" The lady shouted.
"Cool magic!" Ron grabbed several other orbs of materia off Cloud and juggled them. Cloud grabbed them back.
"Materia... cannot be used in silly schools for dumb witches who only know how to draw on their faces with pens! DAMMIT!" Barret stated, grabbing back the materia from Ron and firing a punch at him. Ron got up in agony with a huge dent in his stomach.
"HELLO? Sorting hat?" Hermione said.
"I'm RON not sorting hat!" Said Ron, stupidly.
"Oh look who it is!" Draco Mouthwash, Harry's sworn enemy, sidled up to Ron. "That tatty, stupid..."
"Who are you, ya bitch?" Cid interrupted.
"More like who are you, ciggy?" The bleached-blonde grinned. His friends sniggered. "Where's Potter?" He said.
"I'm 'ere!" Harry replied, biting his tongue when he realised that he was now Hagrid. "I mean dunno."
"They need to be sorted into houses now!" Hermione said, pointing at the FF7s. "Good day to you, Mouthwash." They scuttled away to the hall and saw the one... the only... Dumble-door!
"Knock please!" Said the door. The door was actually the head of the school, it had eyes, limbs, a nose, a mouth and a beard! Not to mention tiny glasses. It was an old door, battered and wood was chipping off. It was about two hundred years old. The door broke out of the wall and hopped into the great hall.
In the middle of the hall was a hat, sat on a chair. They all sat down and a big snake with long hair and a pointy face shouted at the top of it's voice.
"BE QUIET!" The horrible snake boomed, it's tongue hanging out. They assumed that the snake must be a teacher. Suddenly, Dumbledoor came hopping up to the front, puffing and panting. "You're late, Door." The snake hissed.
"Uh... I... uh... sorry." Dumbledoor said. "Anyway. CLOUD STRIFE. Please make your way to the front."
o0o
sugary-flames: Like the chapter? What house should Cloud go in? Or anyone else for that matter. Review with your opinion!
o0o
The group filed out, fairly worried- but it turned out that they were actually there. The Harry-Potter music started playing and Harry started dancing around in circles, flicking his wand about. It stopped.
Oops... sorry. I forgot you're not the incredible Harry Potter anymore... just some sad boy and his boring journey which nobody's interested in...
Violins started playing and Harry shook his fist to the air. He reached into his bag and pulled out a yellow felt tip pen, along with a black and drew a lightening scar and a pair of glasses on his face with the pens. A girl with shabby robes, carrying a cat swooped past.
"It's not Halloween until next year!" She called, pointing and laughing at him. "Who do you think you are? The great Harry Potter?" She laughed. "Fat chance of that!" The girl skipped gracefully away and Harry stared down at his large pot belly covering it up, embarrassed. Harry thought desperately for an idea of getting off the pen, he spilt some of his drink onto a tissue and tried rubbing it off, but when he looked into Hermione's mirror, he saw that it had made no difference. He read the print on the felt pens. 'WARNING! This pen is permanent. DO NOT use on faces."
"Doh!" Harrgid (Half Harry, half Hagrid) cursed even more.
Things were beginning to get boring so Yuffie livened things up a bit. She tied a rope around Harry's leg and tied the other to the wheel on the carriage. They all climbed on at lightening speed and Harry was left there talking to himself, Cloud signalled the thestral and it took off at the speed of light. Harry was left hurtling along the ground and was dragged, bumped and bruised all the way to Hogwarts.
o0o
Harry rubbed his head, there was a big lump, he had a mountain on his head! Well, not literally but... anyway, they made their way into Hogwarts. Outside there was a demented tree with goofy teeth and googly eyes. "Hey, tree. Yo, whazzup?" Harry said.
The tree stared strangely at them. "Lawnmower, baked beans, window, marmalade?" Replied the tree, doing a Indian dance.
"Strange or what?" Tifa whispered to Cloud. "You're not strange, Cloudy!"
Cloud rolled his eyes. "Ugh... girls these days! Although she is HOT!" A girl with blue hair and green eyes strode their way, Cloud drooled after her. He shook his head when her face suddenly turned into a Halloween witches face and a wart appeared on the end of her nose. "Hide me Tiff!" Cloud dived under her skirt and started shuddering. "Nice legs by the way!"
"EEEeeeeww!" Tifa shrieked. "Cloud Strife! You perv!"
The FF7 gang looked up at the building and wondered why flights of stairs kept crashing through the walls. People stood on them screaming as the flights of stairs crashed through other walls. A brick fell on Harry's head, then another, then a whole load of bricks.
"Stupid stairs!" He sighed. Harry was having loads of bad luck.
When they got into the building a teacher stood there, halting them and blabbing on and on about the rules of Hogwarts.
"If you have Hog warts keep away from everyone else, they are contagious!" Sephiroth mimicked.
"Where's the Hog?" Vincent wondered, not quite getting his head round everything. Hermione saw Ron getting out a pair of every flavour jeans, and he licked the orange denim, delightedly. Orange juice flavour. His favourite.
Hermione nagged him about how every flavour jeans were so unhealthy, and unhygienic as god knows who's been wearing them. Ron sighed, he was tired of people going on and on at him, he got enough of it from his nagging mum. Ron was so tired of it he decided to... decided to... cast a spell!
"Hocus pocus diddly doo, I'm tired of yer nagging so freeze you!" Ron shouted, it was a spell which he made up meaning to turn her into an ice cube. Instead it somehow turned Hermione into another Ron. An exact clone, with the exact movements of the real Ron.
The two Rons chorused. "Err... Harry? What have I done? I'll try turning her back." They both said. DUR Ron! Whatever you do, the clone does at exactly the same time. It was like someone waving at themselves in the mirror, the other person always waves back at you, well- maybe not in this world. The two Ron's both zapped each other and they both turned into a pair of glasses.
"Coo-el! I'm Harry Potter again!" Harry said, putting on the glasses.
"Oh dear, what has happened here?" (I don't know any of the teachers names, apart from Dumbledore and Snape so I'll make them up.) Mrs. Doohickey took out her wand and with a mere flick, they turned back into people. "Not a good start, eh boys?" Mrs. Doohickey raised her eyebrows. Hermione shrieked.
"I'm not a boy!" She took out her mirror and gasped. Her hair was in huge spikes, boy style. Hermione screamed. "My life is over!"
"You are new here, yes?" The teacher questioned the FF7 characters. They nodded, and the teacher wrote down their names on a flying clipboard. "Excellent! You are now ready to be sorted." The flying clipboard flew off. Oh, and just before I disappear- I have to inform you of some slight changes. The First Years and the Second Years will be taught together this term. That is all." And she literally disappeared.
Suddenly, Aeris slipped and a ball of holy white materia bonked Cid on the head. A puff of white smoke, harps and clouds surrounded him.
"Heavenly angels, guard me... take me to the world of escalators!" Cid drifted around, sitting down and playing the harp, singing like a strangled cat.
"Oh darn!" Sephiroth sarcastically said, flicking a spike at Cid. "The top of my masamune seems to have fallen off..." Cid joyfully, with a bounce in his step, trod on it! His face went beetroot red.
"Oh... fudge! I will not swear! I... I... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" He stuck his lance in the portrait of the fat lady. The effect of the holy materia had obviously worn off.
"THAT f-ING HURT!" The lady shouted.
"Cool magic!" Ron grabbed several other orbs of materia off Cloud and juggled them. Cloud grabbed them back.
"Materia... cannot be used in silly schools for dumb witches who only know how to draw on their faces with pens! DAMMIT!" Barret stated, grabbing back the materia from Ron and firing a punch at him. Ron got up in agony with a huge dent in his stomach.
"HELLO? Sorting hat?" Hermione said.
"I'm RON not sorting hat!" Said Ron, stupidly.
"Oh look who it is!" Draco Mouthwash, Harry's sworn enemy, sidled up to Ron. "That tatty, stupid..."
"Who are you, ya bitch?" Cid interrupted.
"More like who are you, ciggy?" The bleached-blonde grinned. His friends sniggered. "Where's Potter?" He said.
"I'm 'ere!" Harry replied, biting his tongue when he realised that he was now Hagrid. "I mean dunno."
"They need to be sorted into houses now!" Hermione said, pointing at the FF7s. "Good day to you, Mouthwash." They scuttled away to the hall and saw the one... the only... Dumble-door!
"Knock please!" Said the door. The door was actually the head of the school, it had eyes, limbs, a nose, a mouth and a beard! Not to mention tiny glasses. It was an old door, battered and wood was chipping off. It was about two hundred years old. The door broke out of the wall and hopped into the great hall.
In the middle of the hall was a hat, sat on a chair. They all sat down and a big snake with long hair and a pointy face shouted at the top of it's voice.
"BE QUIET!" The horrible snake boomed, it's tongue hanging out. They assumed that the snake must be a teacher. Suddenly, Dumbledoor came hopping up to the front, puffing and panting. "You're late, Door." The snake hissed.
"Uh... I... uh... sorry." Dumbledoor said. "Anyway. CLOUD STRIFE. Please make your way to the front."
o0o
sugary-flames: Like the chapter? What house should Cloud go in? Or anyone else for that matter. Review with your opinion!