sugary-flames: Chap. 3 is up! Thanks again for all the reviews. I'm not
going to put Sephy in Slytherin, appropriate as it may be, because there is
a slight twist in the sortings.
o0o
Cloud sat up suddenly, and heaved himself off his chair- as he was sitting at a huge table. He strode onto the platform and picked up the hat which was a Rasta-dude multicoloured hat. He put the hat on him and everyone laughed.
"Hey, yo. I'm lookin into ya mind now. I see a girl who you fancy- YEH BABY YEH!" The hat with shades shouted, gesturing at Tifa. Everyone whooped even more. Tifa blushed. "I will randomly pick a house for you... RAVENCLAW!" The Ravenclaws cheered and Cloud sat with them. Next it was Aeris.
"Hi GIRLFRIEND! I'm reading ya thoughtz... I see flowers. I see a spade... you dig up other people's flowers and plant them in your own garden!!!"
"I suppose I should of admitted it. I've never been able to grow my own because I keep forgetting to water them, so there was only one option left- nicking other people's." Aeris sighed. "That's why you don't see any flowers in Midgar apart from them in my garden and in the church." Aeris clutched the white materia in her hands as she confessed.
"I know exactly where you're going!" The hat fumed. "SLYTHERIN!" Everyone booed.
"But I'm not all bad!" Aeris shrieked, taken aback. "I hold the white materia." She was transported onto the Slytherin table and she sulked as the Slytherins pulled her hair, ripped her pink dress and poured water all over her. Next was Sephiroth.
"I see... DEATHS! A lot of your relatives have died tragically, man." The hat started crying.
Sephiroth interrupted, "Actually it was me who..."
"There's only one place for you, man. HUFFLEPUFF!" The school started chanting 'wimp'. Sephiroth sat on the Hufflepuff table and his cheeks turned pink, as well as all his clothes- and a bow appeared in his hair.
"Vincento Valentino!" The hat yelled in a very bad Spanish accent.
Vincent cringed and with a swish of his bright red cape, he sat on the chair and the hat was placed on his head.
"Check it out, a vampire! What's up Dracula! Ooh, bite me!" The hat mocked.
"I... am... not... a... VAMPIRE!" Vincent shouted, and the room shook.
"Chill, dude! How about this... yo, goth!"
Vincent went bright red with fury and his skin turned purple and a red crest formed on his head. He had turned into the purple beast! (Forgotten what it's called!) He hit out at the hat (forgetting that it was on his head) and howled when he brutally hit himself.
"OW! Man that hurt!" The hat said. "You are evil, man! GO TO HELL- I mean Slytherin!" Vincent was transported onto the Slytherin table, smashing the plates and glasses on it.
"Next up... Tifa Lockheart! What a babelicious name!" He drooled as Tifa strutted onto the platform, hips swinging and boobs bouncing. The hat's eyes totally popped out cartoon-style.
"Flatter me!" Tifa flirted as she sat down on the chair. The hat was placed on her head and it began reading.
"You are a generally good person... a few childhood mishaps that wern't your fault but... I'm gonna put you in the best house as you're such a babe... the house that the famous Harry Potter was put in... Gryffindor!"
"I wanted to be in a house with Cloudy! I hate you, you stupid hat!" Tifa cried, and she slapped it hard before being transported onto the Gryffindor table.
"Call me!" The hat yelled after her.
Cait Sith ended up in Gryffindoor with Tifa, Cid and Barret in Hufflepuff, Red went to Slytherin with Vincent and Yuffie joined Cloud in Ravenclaw. Nobody was happy.
o0o
The FF7's crept into the Hufflepuff lounge, which was decorated with frilly bows and pink ribbons. Aeris thought she saw something slithering around, but it probably was nothing. The head of Hufflepuff, Mrs. Majiggery was out somewhere. The Harry Potters were there too. Harry stuck a finger in the air.
"I know! Lets play a game of Squid-Ditch. What happens is, you watch out for the flying squids and swoop in and out of the ditches. At the bottom of the ditch is something, mainly broken paper clips, but if you find the multicoloured paper clip, the game ends and YOU WIN! Watch out, your enemy could be flippendo-ing you. That's a spell, by the way."
None of them wanted to play Squid-Ditch. It sounded boring, so they all sloped off to broomstick training with Mrs. Birdaplane. She was a lady with a bird's beak and aeroplane wings. She demonstrated flying by flying (with her wings) up to the top of the school and err... flying around it.
"Ron, can you demonstrate falling?" Mrs. Birdaplane asked. Ron got on his shaking broom.
"Whoa, horsy. Okay here goes nothing." When he said that catchphrase it generally meant he was going to hurt himself. Ron flew up, but the broom wouldn't stop going up. To Ron everyone looked like ants. To everyone, Ron looked like a flying ant. Then the broom started shaking him off and Ron fell. There was a silent screaming noise that got louder and louder and louder and LOUDER and then there was a bump. They saw a Ron-shaped hole in the ground and Harry and Hermione helped Ron out of it.
"Good demonstration of falling, Ron. HEY! Hagrid, what are you doing in my class?" Mrs Birdplane wondered, frowning at Harry. Harry felt his face, still a beard.
"I... I..." His voice was still a gruff man's and he talked slang.
"Get out of my class... go on... SHOO!" Mrs. Birdaplane whacked Harry with the end of her broom and violins began to play.
"SHUDDUP!" Harry boomed, turning to the dark forest gateaux- where his Hagrid house was. It was just the right shape and height to fit a Hagrid in. "I WILL DO THIS TRAINING!" He yelled, nearly blowing everyone away.
"Whatever... you say Hagrid." Mrs. Birdplane obeyed, shuddering. She didn't want Hagrid squashing her, that's for sure. The teacher resorted back to the lesson. "Give your broom a gentle tap." Everyone whacked their broom as hard as they could. "Sit on your broom gracefully." She ordered. The class sprawled on their broom as lazily as they could.
"I am not your slave!" A spotty teenager with greasy ginger hair objected.
"Get on with it Kevin. Now hold on to your broom with both hands and softly tell it to go up.
"UP YER BRAINLESS OLD-Y THING!" Barret commanded. Everyone else screamed at their brooms to go 'up you stupid wooden stick.'
"Now carefully steer your broom as it ascends into the air." Mrs Birdplane told them. The class yanked their brooms from side to side. Yuffie's zoomed up. Sephiroth's crashed right into the ground and Cid's droopy old broom was so exhausted that it rested on the nearest statue.
"Damn foo!" Barret yelled at his broom when it wouldn't move.
"Now come down, Mr. Highwind. It's unlikely you'll ever be a pilot with the lack of control in your steering!" Mrs. Birdaplane signalled.
Cid seemed pretty offended. He had been a pilot and he thought back to when he flew aeroplanes. The first one was called the 'Cleopatra' but he crashed it into a mountain. The second one was called the 'Cloud Skimmer' he... uh... crashed that too. What about the 'Brontosmoker"? That was his third... er... he landed that into a volcano... which then brought him on to rockets...
Cid reached into his pocket for a parachute or anything to get him down apart from his actual dumb broom. Aha! He found a wand. Although not mentioned in the story previously, Cid couldn't resist nicking it and playing around with it.
"Er... abracadabra, alakazam... I hate casting spells cos they always go wr... AAAAAAHHHH!" The broom turned into a hot air balloon and Cid was flying around everywhere at top speed. He made a right prat of himself! "SHIIIIIIIT!" He yelled.
"Burstus balloonamackerina!" Mrs. Birdaplane bellowed at the top of her voice. The hot air balloon burst and Cid landed squat flat on the bird- lady. "MR. HIGHWIND! Pay attention and this is not a spell-casting lesson. Now use Mr Wallace's broom and fly up there and get yours!" Barret looked a bit confused.
"Mine... is uh... a bit still Missus." Barret said, looking puzzled. Mrs Birdaplane examined Barret's broom.
"That's because it's a kitchen broom!" Mrs. Birdaplane tutted, staring at the end of the broom with unusually short bristles. "Nothing at all has gone right this lesson. HAGRID! Demonstrate flying!" Harry firmly tapped the broom and tried to sit on it but it plonked back down. He tried again, it plonked back down.
"I uh... appear to be too fat to fly this broom Miss..." Harry blushed. Mrs. Birdaplane tossed Harry's broom to Barret and she clapped her hands. Another broom appeared with 'extra thick for the extra large' carved into it. Also carved into it was, 'this Nimbus is so last century'. Barret whooped.
"I get the 2000! I get the 2000!" He boasted. Harry groaned and sat on the broom, it struggled to hold his great weight but just about managed. He commanded 'up' trying to sound relaxed but it came out as a slang-y man's gruff voice.
"Oip!" Harry ordered and the broom jerked along on it's long boring journey in the air. Then Harry tried to come down and the broom awkwardly, unprofessionally swerved down in an ungraceful zigzag. While he had his eye on what he was doing he could have sworn he saw a slithering thing winding it's way around...
"That was alright, in some ways... no... it was absolutely atrocious! I expect full potential from you Hagrid! From now on, I want to see you training with the others twenty four seven! What if you are called out to save someone?" Mrs Birdaplane fumed. "BE OFF WITH YOU!" And they all scampered away like drugged squirrels.
o0o
sugary-flames: I bet you weren't expecting Aeris to go in Slytherin! Haha! Next chapter will be up soon.
o0o
Cloud sat up suddenly, and heaved himself off his chair- as he was sitting at a huge table. He strode onto the platform and picked up the hat which was a Rasta-dude multicoloured hat. He put the hat on him and everyone laughed.
"Hey, yo. I'm lookin into ya mind now. I see a girl who you fancy- YEH BABY YEH!" The hat with shades shouted, gesturing at Tifa. Everyone whooped even more. Tifa blushed. "I will randomly pick a house for you... RAVENCLAW!" The Ravenclaws cheered and Cloud sat with them. Next it was Aeris.
"Hi GIRLFRIEND! I'm reading ya thoughtz... I see flowers. I see a spade... you dig up other people's flowers and plant them in your own garden!!!"
"I suppose I should of admitted it. I've never been able to grow my own because I keep forgetting to water them, so there was only one option left- nicking other people's." Aeris sighed. "That's why you don't see any flowers in Midgar apart from them in my garden and in the church." Aeris clutched the white materia in her hands as she confessed.
"I know exactly where you're going!" The hat fumed. "SLYTHERIN!" Everyone booed.
"But I'm not all bad!" Aeris shrieked, taken aback. "I hold the white materia." She was transported onto the Slytherin table and she sulked as the Slytherins pulled her hair, ripped her pink dress and poured water all over her. Next was Sephiroth.
"I see... DEATHS! A lot of your relatives have died tragically, man." The hat started crying.
Sephiroth interrupted, "Actually it was me who..."
"There's only one place for you, man. HUFFLEPUFF!" The school started chanting 'wimp'. Sephiroth sat on the Hufflepuff table and his cheeks turned pink, as well as all his clothes- and a bow appeared in his hair.
"Vincento Valentino!" The hat yelled in a very bad Spanish accent.
Vincent cringed and with a swish of his bright red cape, he sat on the chair and the hat was placed on his head.
"Check it out, a vampire! What's up Dracula! Ooh, bite me!" The hat mocked.
"I... am... not... a... VAMPIRE!" Vincent shouted, and the room shook.
"Chill, dude! How about this... yo, goth!"
Vincent went bright red with fury and his skin turned purple and a red crest formed on his head. He had turned into the purple beast! (Forgotten what it's called!) He hit out at the hat (forgetting that it was on his head) and howled when he brutally hit himself.
"OW! Man that hurt!" The hat said. "You are evil, man! GO TO HELL- I mean Slytherin!" Vincent was transported onto the Slytherin table, smashing the plates and glasses on it.
"Next up... Tifa Lockheart! What a babelicious name!" He drooled as Tifa strutted onto the platform, hips swinging and boobs bouncing. The hat's eyes totally popped out cartoon-style.
"Flatter me!" Tifa flirted as she sat down on the chair. The hat was placed on her head and it began reading.
"You are a generally good person... a few childhood mishaps that wern't your fault but... I'm gonna put you in the best house as you're such a babe... the house that the famous Harry Potter was put in... Gryffindor!"
"I wanted to be in a house with Cloudy! I hate you, you stupid hat!" Tifa cried, and she slapped it hard before being transported onto the Gryffindor table.
"Call me!" The hat yelled after her.
Cait Sith ended up in Gryffindoor with Tifa, Cid and Barret in Hufflepuff, Red went to Slytherin with Vincent and Yuffie joined Cloud in Ravenclaw. Nobody was happy.
o0o
The FF7's crept into the Hufflepuff lounge, which was decorated with frilly bows and pink ribbons. Aeris thought she saw something slithering around, but it probably was nothing. The head of Hufflepuff, Mrs. Majiggery was out somewhere. The Harry Potters were there too. Harry stuck a finger in the air.
"I know! Lets play a game of Squid-Ditch. What happens is, you watch out for the flying squids and swoop in and out of the ditches. At the bottom of the ditch is something, mainly broken paper clips, but if you find the multicoloured paper clip, the game ends and YOU WIN! Watch out, your enemy could be flippendo-ing you. That's a spell, by the way."
None of them wanted to play Squid-Ditch. It sounded boring, so they all sloped off to broomstick training with Mrs. Birdaplane. She was a lady with a bird's beak and aeroplane wings. She demonstrated flying by flying (with her wings) up to the top of the school and err... flying around it.
"Ron, can you demonstrate falling?" Mrs. Birdaplane asked. Ron got on his shaking broom.
"Whoa, horsy. Okay here goes nothing." When he said that catchphrase it generally meant he was going to hurt himself. Ron flew up, but the broom wouldn't stop going up. To Ron everyone looked like ants. To everyone, Ron looked like a flying ant. Then the broom started shaking him off and Ron fell. There was a silent screaming noise that got louder and louder and louder and LOUDER and then there was a bump. They saw a Ron-shaped hole in the ground and Harry and Hermione helped Ron out of it.
"Good demonstration of falling, Ron. HEY! Hagrid, what are you doing in my class?" Mrs Birdplane wondered, frowning at Harry. Harry felt his face, still a beard.
"I... I..." His voice was still a gruff man's and he talked slang.
"Get out of my class... go on... SHOO!" Mrs. Birdaplane whacked Harry with the end of her broom and violins began to play.
"SHUDDUP!" Harry boomed, turning to the dark forest gateaux- where his Hagrid house was. It was just the right shape and height to fit a Hagrid in. "I WILL DO THIS TRAINING!" He yelled, nearly blowing everyone away.
"Whatever... you say Hagrid." Mrs. Birdplane obeyed, shuddering. She didn't want Hagrid squashing her, that's for sure. The teacher resorted back to the lesson. "Give your broom a gentle tap." Everyone whacked their broom as hard as they could. "Sit on your broom gracefully." She ordered. The class sprawled on their broom as lazily as they could.
"I am not your slave!" A spotty teenager with greasy ginger hair objected.
"Get on with it Kevin. Now hold on to your broom with both hands and softly tell it to go up.
"UP YER BRAINLESS OLD-Y THING!" Barret commanded. Everyone else screamed at their brooms to go 'up you stupid wooden stick.'
"Now carefully steer your broom as it ascends into the air." Mrs Birdplane told them. The class yanked their brooms from side to side. Yuffie's zoomed up. Sephiroth's crashed right into the ground and Cid's droopy old broom was so exhausted that it rested on the nearest statue.
"Damn foo!" Barret yelled at his broom when it wouldn't move.
"Now come down, Mr. Highwind. It's unlikely you'll ever be a pilot with the lack of control in your steering!" Mrs. Birdaplane signalled.
Cid seemed pretty offended. He had been a pilot and he thought back to when he flew aeroplanes. The first one was called the 'Cleopatra' but he crashed it into a mountain. The second one was called the 'Cloud Skimmer' he... uh... crashed that too. What about the 'Brontosmoker"? That was his third... er... he landed that into a volcano... which then brought him on to rockets...
Cid reached into his pocket for a parachute or anything to get him down apart from his actual dumb broom. Aha! He found a wand. Although not mentioned in the story previously, Cid couldn't resist nicking it and playing around with it.
"Er... abracadabra, alakazam... I hate casting spells cos they always go wr... AAAAAAHHHH!" The broom turned into a hot air balloon and Cid was flying around everywhere at top speed. He made a right prat of himself! "SHIIIIIIIT!" He yelled.
"Burstus balloonamackerina!" Mrs. Birdaplane bellowed at the top of her voice. The hot air balloon burst and Cid landed squat flat on the bird- lady. "MR. HIGHWIND! Pay attention and this is not a spell-casting lesson. Now use Mr Wallace's broom and fly up there and get yours!" Barret looked a bit confused.
"Mine... is uh... a bit still Missus." Barret said, looking puzzled. Mrs Birdaplane examined Barret's broom.
"That's because it's a kitchen broom!" Mrs. Birdaplane tutted, staring at the end of the broom with unusually short bristles. "Nothing at all has gone right this lesson. HAGRID! Demonstrate flying!" Harry firmly tapped the broom and tried to sit on it but it plonked back down. He tried again, it plonked back down.
"I uh... appear to be too fat to fly this broom Miss..." Harry blushed. Mrs. Birdaplane tossed Harry's broom to Barret and she clapped her hands. Another broom appeared with 'extra thick for the extra large' carved into it. Also carved into it was, 'this Nimbus is so last century'. Barret whooped.
"I get the 2000! I get the 2000!" He boasted. Harry groaned and sat on the broom, it struggled to hold his great weight but just about managed. He commanded 'up' trying to sound relaxed but it came out as a slang-y man's gruff voice.
"Oip!" Harry ordered and the broom jerked along on it's long boring journey in the air. Then Harry tried to come down and the broom awkwardly, unprofessionally swerved down in an ungraceful zigzag. While he had his eye on what he was doing he could have sworn he saw a slithering thing winding it's way around...
"That was alright, in some ways... no... it was absolutely atrocious! I expect full potential from you Hagrid! From now on, I want to see you training with the others twenty four seven! What if you are called out to save someone?" Mrs Birdaplane fumed. "BE OFF WITH YOU!" And they all scampered away like drugged squirrels.
o0o
sugary-flames: I bet you weren't expecting Aeris to go in Slytherin! Haha! Next chapter will be up soon.