Disclaimer - I don't own Golden Sun or its ideas, though the plot of this fanfiction and "Reweaving the Threads of Time" were both inspired by it. Everything else is accredited to either my imagination or my insanity. Probably both.
PG-13 for swearing and other disturbing thoughts. Take note that the thoughts are quite scrambled and mixed up.
It is highly recommended that you read "Reweaving the Threads of Time" before attempting to read this one-shot. If you don't, this will make absolutely no sense at all. Don't say I didn't warn you. By the way, you probably won't understand what's happening until the very end, so just hang tight and keep reading if you get confused.[smile]
-Kadevi-
.
I Cry
.
Damn you.
How could you abandon me there? You said you loved me. You said you loved me, and you left me there to die. I thought you cared about me - but I didn't know your hatred was so strong, when you told me that. How could you hate our friend - our friend! - how could you hate him so much, that you would be willing to shove me off when I tried to protect him?
I thought you CARED!
I can only laugh now at my naivete. I can't believe I listened to you; I thought you were my beloved, my BEST FRIEND in the whole world. I guess only betrayal can beat that kind of foolishness out of a naive little girl like me.
You know, it was damn cold in that water. I drifted for days, hearing voices, but I never heard yours. No, no. NEVER yours. I heard his though. He was so loyal, always protective and gentle though quiet. I heard his scream as I fell, you know. I thought you'd stabbed him, and sometimes I wish you had, because then later he wouldn't have had to see me die right before his eyes.
Again.
Damn you.
Why am I even crying about this? I knew, when I chased after you both, that things couldn't be the same again. I knew that you and I could never be lovers, could never get married, could never have children like we had always planned. And I knew that he and I could never remain mere friends, because he is the one person who truly loved me.
Not you.
Never you.
How could I have ever thought it was you?
You left me there to die, you bastard. You left me there to die! If that's love, I don't want to see how you treat your friends. You probably jab your pointy little sword straight into their stomachs and throw them on the ground and let them die while you run around power-hungry for four little colored gems. Oh, no wait. You DID stab him in the stomach. Ha, ha, ha. How could I forget such an important detail like that? You never were one to mince details. Always had to be the cool, aloof one; you always had to keep up the appearance. Even to me.
Why didn't I see it?
Why didn't I see how you used me? All you wanted to do was get that little blue gem that I kept close to my heart. You stole it from me, and when you stole it, I thought you'd gone insane. Maybe you had.
When did this madness start? When did you start craving the power that killed us, dearest? First there was the blue stone... - what did it represent? Near death makes a person forget things, you know - oh yes, Mercury. And then you took the golden one from him, Venus... And I don't even want to know how many people you slaughtered to get the violet one, the beautiful Star that represents the winds, and the flashing lightning. Storms... wasn't it in a storm that you killed me, both times? Yes... except the second time, it was rain, not snow.
You always said you would give me a grave where always there was snow. When we died, which would be years from then. Our dreams were so pure, then. So... untainted with evil and corruption. Power rotted you until you were but an empty shell, capable only of killing things. Killing me. Killing him.
You weren't satisfied with only my blood spilling across the cool red tiles. They were cold, my love. The tiles were as cold as ice, as cold as that blood running through your gods bedamned veins. The cold, numbing shock just crept into my body, until I could feel almost nothing, see almost nothing. Nothing at all.
Or was that just me?
After I fell off the lighthouse aerie the first time, I fell into the water. It was so cold. That's what those red tiles reminded me of, that cold, icy water where I plunged after I fell from the tower that reached for the clouds. I wasn't even lucky enough to fall unconscious. I was shivering, freezing, trembling with cold and fear and hope that you would come back and save me from my certain icy death in that water. So cold. So desperate. So lonely, drifting like an iceberg, never knowing when I was going to die. I hoped you would come save me and hold me, tell me over and over how much you loved me, and how you wish that what happened had never happened.
But you never came. And I cried everyday, and the tears froze on my wet cheeks until I was even colder than before. The water numbed my body until I felt nothing but cold and ice and the falling snow. Until all I could think about was how cold it was. It was cold, deathly cold.
I should have died.
Anyone else would have.
Except I didn't.
But don't you know, I heard him call to me? Over and over, I heard my name, but I was so numb, I could not say a thing. I couldn't call out, and he couldn't see me, so both of us lost our true love that first time. Grasping at bitingly cold air that nipped at my skin, that chipped away at my hopes and dreams.
When I finally awoke, truly awoke, and I was warm, I had enough sense of mind to chase after you two. You changed me. I used to be so free, so loving, so warm despite our similar Clan blood. And then you abandoned me to freeze in that icy river, and I froze. My heart encased itself in protective ice, and Vengeance was the only thing on my mind. I prayed to Megaeara my every waking moment to deal you the last blow and make your heart freeze just like mine had.
And I finally did. My daggers stopped you from killing him - my beloved, my true love, who I couldn't even say those three words I love you to because I was so numb with cold. That steel of your sword was buried in my heart, cutting through it, and all I could do was mouth those precious words, dearer to me than everything you'd ever done or said to me. I cried empty tears as I fell to the ground, blood pouring from my wounds. I savored my victory as I watched Madness embrace you in Her arms. You deserve to die in that wretched way, to lose your sanity because of your twisted, false Love.
It was Love that killed everything in me except the promise of revenge.
But didn't you know, I was still awake when you grabbed him and stabbed him in the stomach, just like you had done to me? I saw him fall, as I lay there in my own blood. I didn't know blood was so dark, it was almost black. Every minute the rain fell, it became the red that I knew it for, the red of the fiery power of the Mars Lighthouse. His blood mixed with mine as I felt myself leave Weyard, leave you, leave him. I saw the light as you placed the Mars Star in the pedestal, and everything began shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking...
Shaking.
I cry now, as I remember my lost innocence.
I cry as I remember watching every hope and dream in me freeze in the icy water, and shatter before my very eyes.
I cry as I remember the pain in his eyes, my beloved's beautiful blue eyes that were as deep as the blue on top of the Mercury Lighthouse.
I cry as I pray that in the next life, all the suffering that Territh and I had to go through will pay for the eternal happiness we shall share.
Damn you, Cheis, for taking that away from me this life, for using me to get power that would never be what you expected it to be. It wouldn't have made you happy, Cheis. It wouldn't have made me happy, and it wouldn't have made Territh happy. You were always wrong. You will always be wrong. I hope you will rot in the fires of Damnation and Hatred forever. If I never even see your face again, or hear your blasted, gods-cursed name again, it will be one time too many. I hope you continue dying thousands of painful, crushing deaths... to make up for your betrayal of me, which can never be repaid.
I have lost so much, but...
These tears I shed will be last of my sorrow... forever.
I will finally be happy.
I am Ressa, guardian of the Mercury Star, and I cry for the love that I lost twice, and for the love that Territh lost twice. But no more tears ever shall we shed, for we will never lose each other again.
We will always be together.
Because true love can never be torn apart. No matter where I am, I will find him. He will find me. And we will never lose each other again.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I suppose I should explain myself a little bit. This is sort of a different view of "Reweaving the Threads of Time," my sort-of canon sort-of AU fanfiction of Golden Sun. It's in first person, so you get a limited view of the situation, but if you've read the other one before you should sort of understand enough so that you don't think I'm nuts after you finished reading this one.
To put things simply, "Reweaving the Threads of Time" and "I Cry" both take place in a dimension of time that HAD taken place, but had been rewritten because Territh willed it. The three characters mentioned in both fics - Territh, Cheis, and Ressa - are essentially Isaac, Alex, and Mia, respectively. From another time, specifically, the rewritten past.
The timeline goes like this. Cheis wants power, and he goes to light all four lighthouses, and succeeds. Along his mission, he accidentally pushes Ressa off the Mercury Lighthouse Aerie, and both he and Territh think she's dead. Cheis goes mad with grief and harks off to the other lighthouses, with Territh chasing after him, and somehow Ressa manages to do the same (you can interpret what happaned in this one-shot as you will). They all get to the Mars Lighthouse - what happens there is covered in a bit of a one-sided way by "Reweaving the Threads of Time."
I hope you enjoyed this odd piece of prose! I enjoyed writing it, because it gave me the chance to try and convey the powerful emotions behind Ressa through only words. It was a different style than I'm used to, but very interesting to attempt, and hopefully what I hoped to accomplish was successful. Please review, and if you haven't read "Reweaving the Threads of Time," I encourage you to read and review that one as well! Thank you for reading!
-Kadevi-