True Love Really Doesn't Run Smoothly
Part 7: Suspicious Minds
Author's Note: Right, this is where the drama really kicks in. The next two chapters are a lot more dramatic, and if you don't like drama, stop reading now.
This chapter would have been up sooner, but it needed a lot of rewriting, and since it is almost twice as long as the previous chapter, it took me longer. Monica and Chandler have a bit more to do in this chapter, and I hope any Ross/Phoebe fans like this chapter.
The next chapter will probably be a while, since it is quite complicated, and I have to go back to school this week, which decreases the time I have to write.
The song used and the title of this chapter are from the Elvis song Suspicious Minds.
As always, read, enjoy, and review!
*****
We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
*****
A cool summer breeze twisted it's way between the branches of an oak tree, which stood between the paving slabs of the sidewalk outside a tall apartment building. The sun shone brightly as it passed between two white fluffy clouds, lighting the street up cheerfully. But there was nothing cheerful about the face staring out of the tiny window on the third floor of the building.
Phoebe's mournful face filled the window of Joey's bedroom. She was kneeling on his bed, her knees cushioned by the lumpy pillows, which, despite their uneveness, were extremely comfortable. In her hands she held a photograph, shown off by a simple wooden frame, which she had found on the bedside table.
She looked down at the photograph. There they were, the six of them, smiling happily. It was a birthday party, evident from the clusters of balloons hanging behind them. This was before any of the complications, before any of the break-ups, when they had just been six friends who hung out together, who had fun and talked and laughed.
Phoebe missed it. She missed the time when there was no problems within the group, when they could talk about anything and everything.
But she knew things would never be like that again. They couldn't be. No one could forget all the fights, all the romances. Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler, Joey and Rachel.......Ross and Phoebe?
No. There was no her and Ross. It was wrong. She had to put all her inappropriate thoughts aside, no matter how long they caused her to lay awake at night for.
She placed the photograph carefully back on the table, taking one last wistful glance at the happy scene it showed.
She looked away from the table, and her gaze moved slowly around the room, as if she were inspecting it. Surprisingly, since it was Joey's room, she noticed it was remarkably tidy. On a small table in the corner she saw a thick wadge of papers, which she supposed was his script for 'Days Of Our Lives'; a small mirror; a half full bottle of colone, which Phoebe thought should have been in the bathroom; and, taking pride of place, a small framed photograph of someone.
Curious, Phoebe swung her legs off the bed and walked over. She smiled when she saw it was a picture of Rachel, looking beautiful in the golden dress she had worn at Monica and Chandler's wedding.
Phoebe beamed with happiness. Rachel and Joey had found love together, and Phoebe was so pleased for them.
As Phoebe turned around, she was suddenly hit by an incredible pain, which was so inexplicably painful that she knew instinctively it was much more than just physical pain.
She somehow managed to lower herself onto the bed, where she held a hand to her chest and lay down.
The pain lessened, and soon Phoebe was able to sit up again.
She knew exactly what the pain had been, and the reason for it was exactly the same as the reason for why she was currently hiding away in Joey's bedroom.
The pain had been of wanting what Rachel and Joey had. The pain had been of wanting Ross. And the pain had been of knowing that that was wrong.
*****
"Chandler, look!"
Chandler's head shot up when he heard Monica shouting his name from the balcony. He looked down at his hands, and saw that they were covered with melted chocolate. His cheeks bulged from all the toffee creams he had stuffed in his mouth, and the box they had been sitting in lay empty on the table in front of him.
"Chandler!"
Monica yelled his name again, sounding both more urgent and more annoyed. Chandler stood up, being careful not to let his hands touch anything as he walked over to the sink. However, he proceeded to cover the knob of the tap in chocolate as he turned it, letting warm water flow downwards and onto his hands.
"Chandler!"
Monica's voice had almost doubled in volume. Jumping in alarm, Chandler saw that the reason for this was that she was now standing directly behind him, an expression of annoyance mixed with excitement filling her face.
"Ghat?" said Chandler, trying and failing to swallow the chocolates in his mouth.
Monica looked momentarily disgusted, but excitement returned to overwhelm her face, and she spoke in an extremely gabbled tone.
"Ross is coming over here!" she said delightedly.
Chandler swallowed the last of the chocolates and looked at his wife in confusion.
"Since when were you so excited about your brother coming to visit us from across the street?" he asked, taking a paper towel off the roll and surreptitiously wiping the chocolate stain from the tap before Monica noticed it.
Monica gave a laugh and elaborated. "No, it means you can ask him what's wrong!" she exclaimed.
Chandler looked at her. "Monica, I said I wouldn't," he said.
Monica leaned over the table, picked up the empty chocolate box and gave a very obvious cough.
Chandler sighed. "Oh, okay, I'll try, but I'm not promising anything."
"Yes!" said Monica triumphantly. "Okay, so look out of the peephole for him."
Chandler frowned.
"Please?" said Monica, in such an innocent voice that there was no way that Chandler could resist.
He walked over to the door and put his eyes at the peephole.
"No, he's not here yet.... Oh, wait, there he is. He's coming in....no, no, he's gone into Joey's."
Monica gestured frantically at him. "Well, go on, go over there!" she insisted, almost pushing him into the door.
Chandler gave her an incredulous look. "Monica, what is the matter with you? You are far too nosy for your own good," he said, his stern expression returning.
"That's not what you thought when I told you about Ross' secret collection of plastic dinosaurs," she replied.
Chandler laughed at the memory. "Oh, yeah, that was fun," he said gleefully.
Monica hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Come on, Chandler," she said impatiently, opening the door.
He walked slowly out, and Monica followed, clicking the door quietly shut behind her.
*****
Ross crept silently around the apartment.
She was here. He knew she was. He'd seen her enter the building three hours ago, and since he'd been staring out of the window ever since, he knew she was still in here.
Rachel's bedroom door was wide open. Ross crept in, narrowly avoiding stepping on an empty wine glass which lay on the floor. It's sister stood on the bedside table, next to an empty bottle of some kind of fruit flavoured drink. Ross frowned, then remebered that Rachel was pregnant.
The bedsheets were in disarray, making Ross cringe at the thought of what must have gone on in here last night. Sure, he was happy for them, but he didn't want to think about that.
A quick glance around the room told him Phoebe wasn't in here. He crept quietly out again, and saw that Joey's door was shut.
She was in there. He knew it as well as he knew his own name. On the other side of that door sat the woman who had occupied all his thoughts since that night on the pavement. The night when they had come so close.....
He burst the door open. Her long blonde hair swished bewitchingly as her head snapped around.
"Ross?"
*****
"You go in first."
"No, you."
"No, you."
Monica and Chandler stood next to each other outside the door of apartment nineteen, bickering in whispers. Despite Monica's eagerness to discover the reason for her brother's sadness, she did not want to comfront him.
"I can't go in, he'll know what I want. You go in. He won't suspect you," she whispered.
Chandler frowned. "Oh, great, now I sound like a murderer or something."
Monica hit him again. "Just go in," she ordered.
Suddenly they heard the sound of a door closing from within.
"That's Joey's bedroom door," whispered Chandler.
"How the hell do you know that?" Monica whispered incredulously back.
Chandler looked at her. "Oh, you know, when you live in a place for ten years you come to remember stuff like that."
Monica frowned, but was unable to suppress a giggle. "It's a door, Chandler."
Chandler stared at her. "Look, do you want to go in or not?" he asked.
"Okay, I'm sorry," said Monica sincerely. "You go in first, then tell me if I can come in."
Chandler nodded, and opened the door. He walked in quickly, trying to give the impression he was just visiting normally. However, he stopped when he saw that there was no one in the room.
"Monica, it's clear, you can come in," he whispered loudly, so she could hear.
She crept in, and together they walked silently over to the closed door of Joey's bedroom.
*****
Ross closed the door, and looked at Phoebe, who sat, looking shocked, on Joey's bed.
"Ross, wh- what are you doing here?" she said quietly.
Ross stared at her, the deepness of her eyes almost forbidding him to speak. "I need to talk to you," he said simply.
"About?" she asked, even though she knew exactly what 'about'. She felt her heart starting to beat faster, sure it was visibly rising out of her chest. She kept her eyes firmly down, ordering herself not to look at him.
"I need to know how you feel about - about me."
Phoebe forced a laugh, still aware of her thumping heart. "About you? Well, that's easy. You're my friend Ross. We get along well, and we...." Her voice trailed off into nothing as she failed to think of something else to say.
Ross moved suddenly and sat down next to her on the bed, feeling it bounce slightly as it adjusted to the extra weight.
"Phoebe, I need to know if you're going through the same torture I am," he said. She heard an odd quality in his voice, as though it were extremely difficult for him to get out words.
Phoebe moved her head slightly up, but still didn't look at him. "No, I'm fine," she said, lying through her teeth.
"Phoebe, please," said Ross, his voice cracking as tears began to well up in his eyes.
The crackling of his voice caused her to look up in concern, and at the sight of the tears in his eyes, they came to her eyes too.
"I can't, Ross" she whispered, a tear falling onto her already moist lip.
Ross stared at her, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. "Why not?" he croaked.
"Because it's wrong!" she said loudly, tears dripping from her eyes onto the smooth bedsheet. "If we did something, and I lost you.... you're my best friend," she said, her voice dropping back to a whisper.
Ross looked at her, his gaze penetrating her light green eyes so she felt he was seeing into her very soul. "You wouldn't lose me.... Anything must be better than this torture," he said, watching more tears drop from her eyes.
She burst into floods of tears, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Not knowing what else to do, Ross took her hand in his, stroking it in comfort.
She looked up, her gaze not moving from his face, and his suddenly fixed on her's.
Their faces were so close that in one tiny movement their lips were together. She felt the sweet taste of his lips, felt the softness of his tongue, felt the dampness of his tear stained face.
"Oh my God!"
They broke away immediatly and saw Chandler stood in the doorway, with an astounded Monica stood behind him.
*****
Monica stared at Ross and Phoebe as she moved foward to stand next to her husband, her arms crossed.
"Care to explain that?" she demanded.
Phoebe brushed her hair over her shoulder, trying to act innocent. "We were- practising for a play," she invented, instantly knowing no one would believe it.
"Yes," said Ross, nodding enthusiastically.
Chandler laughed. "And this play includes crying and hair rubbing, does it?" he said scornfully, staring pointedly at the tear marks on the white bedsheet, and at Ross' disordered hair.
"Er-" started Phoebe.
"Look, why don't you just tell us the truth?" said Monica. "Why were you kissing? Why was Ross so upset? And most importantly, why are you in Joey's bedroom?"
Ross stared at her, and Phoebe stood up.
"Look, okay, we'll tell you. But I don't totally understand it myself, and I don't think Ross does either," she said, and Ross nodded slowly.
Monica's expressiopn softened, and she and Chandler came in further and sat down on the floor. Chandler put the door to, leaving a small crack open.
"Okay, it was about two weeks ago," started Phoebe, noticing Ross didn't seem in a fit state to explain. "You two were on your honeymoon. I'd just found out about Joey and Rachel, and when I left I ran into Ross on the steps outside. We fell down the steps, and I ended up lying on top of him on the pavement-"
She stopped speaking as the sound of a door slamming came from outside the room. They looked at each other in confusion.
They heard someone crying, letting out gasps of air as if it were difficult for them to breathe.
"That's Rachel," whispered Monica, standing up. She was soon sat down again though, when Chandler pulled her down when the sound of a yell could be heard from the hall.
"Rachel!"
They heard the door burst open, then slam again.
"That's Joey," whispered Ross. He and Phoebe crept towards the door, and Monica and Chandler put their ears next to the crack.
*****
Joey heard the blood pounding through his head, but the sound of the sobbing Rachel still overwhelmed his ears.
She sat in a crumpled heap on the floor in front of the tv cabinet, her head buried in her hands. Her continuous sobbing was interjected by breathless gasps, her head shaking as she wept onto her trousers.
Joey found himself having to gasp for air as well. He had chased Rachel for four blocks before she'd finally got a cab, and then he'd had to run another two blocks when they hit a traffic jam and she'd run out.
And all that time images had been flashing through his head, like some sort of slide show. He saw Kate's smiling face as they'd rehearsed; her fake excitement when she'd tricked him into looking out of the window; Rachel's heartbroken face; the director angrily shouting as Joey ran past him; the cab driver's alarmed face when Joey had gabbled at him.
Of course, Joey had been fired from the movie for running out, but at that moment he couldn't have cared less about that. All he cared about was the weeping woman in front of him, and wondering what was going to happen.
He knelt down slowly behind her, and tried to put a hand on her hair, but she shook it off with a violent jolt of her head. He just sat there, waiting, since it was obvious she needed time to recover before either did anything.
A few minutes passed silently by. Joey found himself staring at the back of Rachel's head.
Inside his bedroom, Monica had managed to get the spot at the crack, while Ross, Phoebe and Chandler were left to press their ears against the door. They didn't dare say anything to each other, since it was so deadly silent they could have heard the rustle of leaves on the tree outside.
Rachel lifted her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, finally managing to stem the flow of tears. She turned around to face Joey.
"Why?" she said, her voice trembling. "Why did you kiss her?"
Monica gasped silently. She knew who the 'her' in question was, and by the looks on the faces of the other three, so did they.
Joey didn't know what to say. All his reasons, all his arguments had suddenly slipped away, even thought they were the truth. The sight of her heartbroken, tear-stained face cause dhim to become devoid of speech, and he just sat there, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, feeling tears uncontrollably welling up in his eyes.
She stared at him, blinking back the tears that produced at the sight of the man she loved beginning to cry. She loved him, more than she had ever loved anyone, but he had betrayed her. Just like.....
*****
Ross shifted uncomfortably in his squatted position on the floor.
He knew what was coming. He had been in exactly the same position as Joey was now. He wanted to go out there and scream at Joey to get out, to run, because Joey was about to get his heart broken like never before.
But Ross forced himself to sit there, his ear against the door, and listen to what was to come.
*****
"Why did you kiss her?"
Rachel repeated her question, her voice more urgent, furiously blinking to hold back the tears that refused to stop collecting in her eyes.
She had to know. She had to know why, once again, she'd been betrayed by the man she was in love with. Her mind kept flashing back to the time four and a half years ago, when Ross had broken her heart in two, and she'd refused to take him back, afraid he would break it again.
She watched Joey, who still appeared to be operating his mouth like a goldfish, trying to speak.
"I- er-," he stumbled, "I didn't."
She stared at him. "What do you mean?" she said incredulously. "I- I saw you, Joey, there were two sets of lips...."
She suddenly broke down again, the tears she had been fighting bursting free and flowing down over her cheeks.
Joey moved foward again, tentatively moving his hand to wipe away her tears, concious of her reaction the last time he'd touched her. She gave no such resistance this time, and he gently bruushed her tears away, aware of her gaze on him every second.
He finished wiping her tears away and leane dback again, nervously wondering what she was going to do.
For a few minutes niether moved. They just sat there, staring at each other, both with a heartbroken expression on their face.
He broke the silence, taking her hands in his. "Rach, you've got to believe me," he said pleadingly. "I didn't kiss her."
She down down in sorrow. "Why can't I believe you?" she said, more to herself than to him.
He started crying. Tiny droplets seeped from his eyes and fell onto his jeans. she looked away, unable to handle seeing theman she always dreamt about sobbing uncontrollably.
He wiped his tears away as best he could with the back of his hand, and looked up at her.
"You have to believe me," he said croakily, holding back yet more tears. "You can trust me."
She stared at him, trying to see the truth in his face. But for some reason it was hidden from her, and she looked away again.
"I don't think I can," she said, the pain in her voice evident. "I thought after what Ross did to me, I'd never be able to put my total trust in a man again, and then I did, and...." She trailed off, feeling more tears prik at her eyes.
He looked down heartbrokenly. Rachel stood up, glancing around for something to take her mind from the intense pain inside.
"Rach-" started Joey, but Rachel suddenly started shouting, anger exploding from nowhere inside her.
"You know, I thought I was different to you," she said, pacing up and down. "I thought I meant something to you. I thought you cared about me. But I guess I'm just another slut on your list of conquests," she snapped, not really realising what she was saying, but at that moment not really caring.
Joey stared at her, desparately trying to stop himself from bursting into floods of tears. "How can you say that?" he said quietly. "You know you mean the world to me."
The low volume of his voice meant Rachel didn't hear him, especially over the blood pounding through her head. She continued to yell.
"How could I have ever thought that you'd changed?" she ranted, pacing briskly around, as a mysterious angry force ran her lips. "You'll always be the same womanizing-"
She suddenly broke off, freezing in her tracks, a look of intense pain on her face.
Joey looked up when she stopped shouting. Tears were streaming down his face, but he jumped up in concern at the pained expression she was now wearing.
"Rachel?" he said, cautiously moving closer. "What's wrong?"
Her anger had vanished without leaving a sign that it had ever been there. She looked scared, and gave Joey a desperate look.
"I don't know," she said slowly. "I think it's the-"
Another pained expression appeared on her face.
Joey moved closer." Rach-"
"Aaaahhhh!" she yelled, bending over in pain.
Joey jumped backwards in shock, but recovered and took hold of her arm in support. He looked down at the floor, and saw a pool of blood beneath her.
"Blood!" he yelled.
At this, four people suddenly burst through the door behind Rachel. Monica ran out in front, looking warily at the blood, followed by Chandler, Ross and Phoebe.
Joey looked at them in bewilderment for a moment, but his attention was returned to Rachel at another piercing yell.
"We've got to get her to hospital!" he yelled at the others over another scream.
Phoebe ran to open the door, while Joey and Ross took hold of Rachle and started to carry her out. Monica grabbed her cellphone from her pocket and quickly dialed, whilst following Chandler out and slamming the door behind her, putting a finger in her ear to protect her from another defeaning scream.
*****
So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die
Part 7: Suspicious Minds
Author's Note: Right, this is where the drama really kicks in. The next two chapters are a lot more dramatic, and if you don't like drama, stop reading now.
This chapter would have been up sooner, but it needed a lot of rewriting, and since it is almost twice as long as the previous chapter, it took me longer. Monica and Chandler have a bit more to do in this chapter, and I hope any Ross/Phoebe fans like this chapter.
The next chapter will probably be a while, since it is quite complicated, and I have to go back to school this week, which decreases the time I have to write.
The song used and the title of this chapter are from the Elvis song Suspicious Minds.
As always, read, enjoy, and review!
*****
We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
*****
A cool summer breeze twisted it's way between the branches of an oak tree, which stood between the paving slabs of the sidewalk outside a tall apartment building. The sun shone brightly as it passed between two white fluffy clouds, lighting the street up cheerfully. But there was nothing cheerful about the face staring out of the tiny window on the third floor of the building.
Phoebe's mournful face filled the window of Joey's bedroom. She was kneeling on his bed, her knees cushioned by the lumpy pillows, which, despite their uneveness, were extremely comfortable. In her hands she held a photograph, shown off by a simple wooden frame, which she had found on the bedside table.
She looked down at the photograph. There they were, the six of them, smiling happily. It was a birthday party, evident from the clusters of balloons hanging behind them. This was before any of the complications, before any of the break-ups, when they had just been six friends who hung out together, who had fun and talked and laughed.
Phoebe missed it. She missed the time when there was no problems within the group, when they could talk about anything and everything.
But she knew things would never be like that again. They couldn't be. No one could forget all the fights, all the romances. Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler, Joey and Rachel.......Ross and Phoebe?
No. There was no her and Ross. It was wrong. She had to put all her inappropriate thoughts aside, no matter how long they caused her to lay awake at night for.
She placed the photograph carefully back on the table, taking one last wistful glance at the happy scene it showed.
She looked away from the table, and her gaze moved slowly around the room, as if she were inspecting it. Surprisingly, since it was Joey's room, she noticed it was remarkably tidy. On a small table in the corner she saw a thick wadge of papers, which she supposed was his script for 'Days Of Our Lives'; a small mirror; a half full bottle of colone, which Phoebe thought should have been in the bathroom; and, taking pride of place, a small framed photograph of someone.
Curious, Phoebe swung her legs off the bed and walked over. She smiled when she saw it was a picture of Rachel, looking beautiful in the golden dress she had worn at Monica and Chandler's wedding.
Phoebe beamed with happiness. Rachel and Joey had found love together, and Phoebe was so pleased for them.
As Phoebe turned around, she was suddenly hit by an incredible pain, which was so inexplicably painful that she knew instinctively it was much more than just physical pain.
She somehow managed to lower herself onto the bed, where she held a hand to her chest and lay down.
The pain lessened, and soon Phoebe was able to sit up again.
She knew exactly what the pain had been, and the reason for it was exactly the same as the reason for why she was currently hiding away in Joey's bedroom.
The pain had been of wanting what Rachel and Joey had. The pain had been of wanting Ross. And the pain had been of knowing that that was wrong.
*****
"Chandler, look!"
Chandler's head shot up when he heard Monica shouting his name from the balcony. He looked down at his hands, and saw that they were covered with melted chocolate. His cheeks bulged from all the toffee creams he had stuffed in his mouth, and the box they had been sitting in lay empty on the table in front of him.
"Chandler!"
Monica yelled his name again, sounding both more urgent and more annoyed. Chandler stood up, being careful not to let his hands touch anything as he walked over to the sink. However, he proceeded to cover the knob of the tap in chocolate as he turned it, letting warm water flow downwards and onto his hands.
"Chandler!"
Monica's voice had almost doubled in volume. Jumping in alarm, Chandler saw that the reason for this was that she was now standing directly behind him, an expression of annoyance mixed with excitement filling her face.
"Ghat?" said Chandler, trying and failing to swallow the chocolates in his mouth.
Monica looked momentarily disgusted, but excitement returned to overwhelm her face, and she spoke in an extremely gabbled tone.
"Ross is coming over here!" she said delightedly.
Chandler swallowed the last of the chocolates and looked at his wife in confusion.
"Since when were you so excited about your brother coming to visit us from across the street?" he asked, taking a paper towel off the roll and surreptitiously wiping the chocolate stain from the tap before Monica noticed it.
Monica gave a laugh and elaborated. "No, it means you can ask him what's wrong!" she exclaimed.
Chandler looked at her. "Monica, I said I wouldn't," he said.
Monica leaned over the table, picked up the empty chocolate box and gave a very obvious cough.
Chandler sighed. "Oh, okay, I'll try, but I'm not promising anything."
"Yes!" said Monica triumphantly. "Okay, so look out of the peephole for him."
Chandler frowned.
"Please?" said Monica, in such an innocent voice that there was no way that Chandler could resist.
He walked over to the door and put his eyes at the peephole.
"No, he's not here yet.... Oh, wait, there he is. He's coming in....no, no, he's gone into Joey's."
Monica gestured frantically at him. "Well, go on, go over there!" she insisted, almost pushing him into the door.
Chandler gave her an incredulous look. "Monica, what is the matter with you? You are far too nosy for your own good," he said, his stern expression returning.
"That's not what you thought when I told you about Ross' secret collection of plastic dinosaurs," she replied.
Chandler laughed at the memory. "Oh, yeah, that was fun," he said gleefully.
Monica hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Come on, Chandler," she said impatiently, opening the door.
He walked slowly out, and Monica followed, clicking the door quietly shut behind her.
*****
Ross crept silently around the apartment.
She was here. He knew she was. He'd seen her enter the building three hours ago, and since he'd been staring out of the window ever since, he knew she was still in here.
Rachel's bedroom door was wide open. Ross crept in, narrowly avoiding stepping on an empty wine glass which lay on the floor. It's sister stood on the bedside table, next to an empty bottle of some kind of fruit flavoured drink. Ross frowned, then remebered that Rachel was pregnant.
The bedsheets were in disarray, making Ross cringe at the thought of what must have gone on in here last night. Sure, he was happy for them, but he didn't want to think about that.
A quick glance around the room told him Phoebe wasn't in here. He crept quietly out again, and saw that Joey's door was shut.
She was in there. He knew it as well as he knew his own name. On the other side of that door sat the woman who had occupied all his thoughts since that night on the pavement. The night when they had come so close.....
He burst the door open. Her long blonde hair swished bewitchingly as her head snapped around.
"Ross?"
*****
"You go in first."
"No, you."
"No, you."
Monica and Chandler stood next to each other outside the door of apartment nineteen, bickering in whispers. Despite Monica's eagerness to discover the reason for her brother's sadness, she did not want to comfront him.
"I can't go in, he'll know what I want. You go in. He won't suspect you," she whispered.
Chandler frowned. "Oh, great, now I sound like a murderer or something."
Monica hit him again. "Just go in," she ordered.
Suddenly they heard the sound of a door closing from within.
"That's Joey's bedroom door," whispered Chandler.
"How the hell do you know that?" Monica whispered incredulously back.
Chandler looked at her. "Oh, you know, when you live in a place for ten years you come to remember stuff like that."
Monica frowned, but was unable to suppress a giggle. "It's a door, Chandler."
Chandler stared at her. "Look, do you want to go in or not?" he asked.
"Okay, I'm sorry," said Monica sincerely. "You go in first, then tell me if I can come in."
Chandler nodded, and opened the door. He walked in quickly, trying to give the impression he was just visiting normally. However, he stopped when he saw that there was no one in the room.
"Monica, it's clear, you can come in," he whispered loudly, so she could hear.
She crept in, and together they walked silently over to the closed door of Joey's bedroom.
*****
Ross closed the door, and looked at Phoebe, who sat, looking shocked, on Joey's bed.
"Ross, wh- what are you doing here?" she said quietly.
Ross stared at her, the deepness of her eyes almost forbidding him to speak. "I need to talk to you," he said simply.
"About?" she asked, even though she knew exactly what 'about'. She felt her heart starting to beat faster, sure it was visibly rising out of her chest. She kept her eyes firmly down, ordering herself not to look at him.
"I need to know how you feel about - about me."
Phoebe forced a laugh, still aware of her thumping heart. "About you? Well, that's easy. You're my friend Ross. We get along well, and we...." Her voice trailed off into nothing as she failed to think of something else to say.
Ross moved suddenly and sat down next to her on the bed, feeling it bounce slightly as it adjusted to the extra weight.
"Phoebe, I need to know if you're going through the same torture I am," he said. She heard an odd quality in his voice, as though it were extremely difficult for him to get out words.
Phoebe moved her head slightly up, but still didn't look at him. "No, I'm fine," she said, lying through her teeth.
"Phoebe, please," said Ross, his voice cracking as tears began to well up in his eyes.
The crackling of his voice caused her to look up in concern, and at the sight of the tears in his eyes, they came to her eyes too.
"I can't, Ross" she whispered, a tear falling onto her already moist lip.
Ross stared at her, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. "Why not?" he croaked.
"Because it's wrong!" she said loudly, tears dripping from her eyes onto the smooth bedsheet. "If we did something, and I lost you.... you're my best friend," she said, her voice dropping back to a whisper.
Ross looked at her, his gaze penetrating her light green eyes so she felt he was seeing into her very soul. "You wouldn't lose me.... Anything must be better than this torture," he said, watching more tears drop from her eyes.
She burst into floods of tears, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Not knowing what else to do, Ross took her hand in his, stroking it in comfort.
She looked up, her gaze not moving from his face, and his suddenly fixed on her's.
Their faces were so close that in one tiny movement their lips were together. She felt the sweet taste of his lips, felt the softness of his tongue, felt the dampness of his tear stained face.
"Oh my God!"
They broke away immediatly and saw Chandler stood in the doorway, with an astounded Monica stood behind him.
*****
Monica stared at Ross and Phoebe as she moved foward to stand next to her husband, her arms crossed.
"Care to explain that?" she demanded.
Phoebe brushed her hair over her shoulder, trying to act innocent. "We were- practising for a play," she invented, instantly knowing no one would believe it.
"Yes," said Ross, nodding enthusiastically.
Chandler laughed. "And this play includes crying and hair rubbing, does it?" he said scornfully, staring pointedly at the tear marks on the white bedsheet, and at Ross' disordered hair.
"Er-" started Phoebe.
"Look, why don't you just tell us the truth?" said Monica. "Why were you kissing? Why was Ross so upset? And most importantly, why are you in Joey's bedroom?"
Ross stared at her, and Phoebe stood up.
"Look, okay, we'll tell you. But I don't totally understand it myself, and I don't think Ross does either," she said, and Ross nodded slowly.
Monica's expressiopn softened, and she and Chandler came in further and sat down on the floor. Chandler put the door to, leaving a small crack open.
"Okay, it was about two weeks ago," started Phoebe, noticing Ross didn't seem in a fit state to explain. "You two were on your honeymoon. I'd just found out about Joey and Rachel, and when I left I ran into Ross on the steps outside. We fell down the steps, and I ended up lying on top of him on the pavement-"
She stopped speaking as the sound of a door slamming came from outside the room. They looked at each other in confusion.
They heard someone crying, letting out gasps of air as if it were difficult for them to breathe.
"That's Rachel," whispered Monica, standing up. She was soon sat down again though, when Chandler pulled her down when the sound of a yell could be heard from the hall.
"Rachel!"
They heard the door burst open, then slam again.
"That's Joey," whispered Ross. He and Phoebe crept towards the door, and Monica and Chandler put their ears next to the crack.
*****
Joey heard the blood pounding through his head, but the sound of the sobbing Rachel still overwhelmed his ears.
She sat in a crumpled heap on the floor in front of the tv cabinet, her head buried in her hands. Her continuous sobbing was interjected by breathless gasps, her head shaking as she wept onto her trousers.
Joey found himself having to gasp for air as well. He had chased Rachel for four blocks before she'd finally got a cab, and then he'd had to run another two blocks when they hit a traffic jam and she'd run out.
And all that time images had been flashing through his head, like some sort of slide show. He saw Kate's smiling face as they'd rehearsed; her fake excitement when she'd tricked him into looking out of the window; Rachel's heartbroken face; the director angrily shouting as Joey ran past him; the cab driver's alarmed face when Joey had gabbled at him.
Of course, Joey had been fired from the movie for running out, but at that moment he couldn't have cared less about that. All he cared about was the weeping woman in front of him, and wondering what was going to happen.
He knelt down slowly behind her, and tried to put a hand on her hair, but she shook it off with a violent jolt of her head. He just sat there, waiting, since it was obvious she needed time to recover before either did anything.
A few minutes passed silently by. Joey found himself staring at the back of Rachel's head.
Inside his bedroom, Monica had managed to get the spot at the crack, while Ross, Phoebe and Chandler were left to press their ears against the door. They didn't dare say anything to each other, since it was so deadly silent they could have heard the rustle of leaves on the tree outside.
Rachel lifted her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, finally managing to stem the flow of tears. She turned around to face Joey.
"Why?" she said, her voice trembling. "Why did you kiss her?"
Monica gasped silently. She knew who the 'her' in question was, and by the looks on the faces of the other three, so did they.
Joey didn't know what to say. All his reasons, all his arguments had suddenly slipped away, even thought they were the truth. The sight of her heartbroken, tear-stained face cause dhim to become devoid of speech, and he just sat there, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, feeling tears uncontrollably welling up in his eyes.
She stared at him, blinking back the tears that produced at the sight of the man she loved beginning to cry. She loved him, more than she had ever loved anyone, but he had betrayed her. Just like.....
*****
Ross shifted uncomfortably in his squatted position on the floor.
He knew what was coming. He had been in exactly the same position as Joey was now. He wanted to go out there and scream at Joey to get out, to run, because Joey was about to get his heart broken like never before.
But Ross forced himself to sit there, his ear against the door, and listen to what was to come.
*****
"Why did you kiss her?"
Rachel repeated her question, her voice more urgent, furiously blinking to hold back the tears that refused to stop collecting in her eyes.
She had to know. She had to know why, once again, she'd been betrayed by the man she was in love with. Her mind kept flashing back to the time four and a half years ago, when Ross had broken her heart in two, and she'd refused to take him back, afraid he would break it again.
She watched Joey, who still appeared to be operating his mouth like a goldfish, trying to speak.
"I- er-," he stumbled, "I didn't."
She stared at him. "What do you mean?" she said incredulously. "I- I saw you, Joey, there were two sets of lips...."
She suddenly broke down again, the tears she had been fighting bursting free and flowing down over her cheeks.
Joey moved foward again, tentatively moving his hand to wipe away her tears, concious of her reaction the last time he'd touched her. She gave no such resistance this time, and he gently bruushed her tears away, aware of her gaze on him every second.
He finished wiping her tears away and leane dback again, nervously wondering what she was going to do.
For a few minutes niether moved. They just sat there, staring at each other, both with a heartbroken expression on their face.
He broke the silence, taking her hands in his. "Rach, you've got to believe me," he said pleadingly. "I didn't kiss her."
She down down in sorrow. "Why can't I believe you?" she said, more to herself than to him.
He started crying. Tiny droplets seeped from his eyes and fell onto his jeans. she looked away, unable to handle seeing theman she always dreamt about sobbing uncontrollably.
He wiped his tears away as best he could with the back of his hand, and looked up at her.
"You have to believe me," he said croakily, holding back yet more tears. "You can trust me."
She stared at him, trying to see the truth in his face. But for some reason it was hidden from her, and she looked away again.
"I don't think I can," she said, the pain in her voice evident. "I thought after what Ross did to me, I'd never be able to put my total trust in a man again, and then I did, and...." She trailed off, feeling more tears prik at her eyes.
He looked down heartbrokenly. Rachel stood up, glancing around for something to take her mind from the intense pain inside.
"Rach-" started Joey, but Rachel suddenly started shouting, anger exploding from nowhere inside her.
"You know, I thought I was different to you," she said, pacing up and down. "I thought I meant something to you. I thought you cared about me. But I guess I'm just another slut on your list of conquests," she snapped, not really realising what she was saying, but at that moment not really caring.
Joey stared at her, desparately trying to stop himself from bursting into floods of tears. "How can you say that?" he said quietly. "You know you mean the world to me."
The low volume of his voice meant Rachel didn't hear him, especially over the blood pounding through her head. She continued to yell.
"How could I have ever thought that you'd changed?" she ranted, pacing briskly around, as a mysterious angry force ran her lips. "You'll always be the same womanizing-"
She suddenly broke off, freezing in her tracks, a look of intense pain on her face.
Joey looked up when she stopped shouting. Tears were streaming down his face, but he jumped up in concern at the pained expression she was now wearing.
"Rachel?" he said, cautiously moving closer. "What's wrong?"
Her anger had vanished without leaving a sign that it had ever been there. She looked scared, and gave Joey a desperate look.
"I don't know," she said slowly. "I think it's the-"
Another pained expression appeared on her face.
Joey moved closer." Rach-"
"Aaaahhhh!" she yelled, bending over in pain.
Joey jumped backwards in shock, but recovered and took hold of her arm in support. He looked down at the floor, and saw a pool of blood beneath her.
"Blood!" he yelled.
At this, four people suddenly burst through the door behind Rachel. Monica ran out in front, looking warily at the blood, followed by Chandler, Ross and Phoebe.
Joey looked at them in bewilderment for a moment, but his attention was returned to Rachel at another piercing yell.
"We've got to get her to hospital!" he yelled at the others over another scream.
Phoebe ran to open the door, while Joey and Ross took hold of Rachle and started to carry her out. Monica grabbed her cellphone from her pocket and quickly dialed, whilst following Chandler out and slamming the door behind her, putting a finger in her ear to protect her from another defeaning scream.
*****
So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die