True Love Really Doesn't Run Smoothly
Part 8: Watching The Hands
Disclaimer: I'd better put this in- I do not own any of these characters. How much does it cost to buy Phoebe, though? Oh. That much?
Author's Note: I am so, so sorry this chapter took so long. I could offer you a list of excuses, but that would bore you stupid. I promise the next chapter won't be so long.
Secondly, if the medical details in this chapter are wrong, please forgive me. I know nothing about things like this, but I did a little research, although I probably got it wrong anyway. Don't leave reviews saying it's all wrong. If anyone knows what it should say, email me and I can change it. But only if you know what you're talking about.
And finally, please review! I'll know if you don't! (Okay, that's a lie. But I will be very upset.)
*****
Joey looked down at the floor, his eyes out of focus. He felt the marks of the tears beneath his eyes, left by the tears he'd shed just half an hour ago.
A couple of hours ago he'd been so happy with his life. Everything had been so perfect.
'Too perfect', he thought. 'I should have expected it to all come crashing down.'
And the worst thing was that even though he'd done nothing wrong, guilt was seeping through him.
He heard Rachel's screams as though she was in some distant place, but he felt her hand crushing his painfully, and remebered she was right next to him.
Her pain seemed to come and go, making her yell at it's worst. Sometimes she was fine, sitting there silently, but waiting for her pain to return. And it did.
Joey heard Rachel's screams increase in volume, and looked up at the knowledge that her pain was worsening. Her tight grip on his hand became harder than he thought was possible.
He stood up, his eyes coming back into focus to see her contorted expression. The panic in her eyes had not left.
Dr. Long stood on the other side of Rachel, inspecting a screen stood next to the bed. She wrote something on a pad, then rushed out.
Rachel stopped yelling and her expression relaxed slightly. she looked at Joey, and saw the sadness in his eyes and the concern on his face. She remembered all the things her mouth had produced before, but only now did she see how much they had hurt him. She hadn't meant to shout at him. And anyway, it hadn't exactly got her very far. She was in a hospital, in danger of losing her baby.
He realised she was looking at him, and turned his head towards her. There was an unspoken plea for forgiveness in his eyes, but he didn't say anything, just squeezed her hand and tried to smile. But the smile didn't reach his eyes, and he looked away again.
And then her pain returned.
*****
"She's still there," said Monica, walking over to where Ross, Chandler and Phoebe were sitting.
Phoebe leaned foward. "No change?" she asked.
Monica shook her head. "No. Joey's still there with her," she said, sitting down next to Chandler.
"Did they let you in?" asked Chandler.
"No," said Monica. "I looked in through the window, and then I asked a nurse. They haven't figured out what's wrong yet." She looked at Phoebe and Ross. "You two didn't finish telling us what happened."
Chandler looked around. "No, you didn't," he said eagerly.
Ross gulped. "I- er- need to go to the bathroom," he said, standing up nervously and walking quickly away. Phoebe looked down at the ground, avoiding Monica's accusing gaze.
Chandler jumped up. "I- I'll go and see if he's- he's okay," he stammered, wanting to get out of the way of the conversation he knew he'd be excluded from if he stayed, and knowing Monica didn't want him there anyway.
Monica moved over to fill Ross' vacated seat. "Phoebe?" she asked, since Phoebe was staring intently at a stain on the floor.
"Umm?" muttered Phoebe, not looking up.
Monica rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me?" she asked impatiently.
Phoebe forced her head upwards to look Monica in the eye. "I don't know," she said truthfully. "It's all so confusing," she lamented, rubbing her forehead and looking away again.
"Look, if you tell me, I might be able to help," said Monica.
"Okay," Phoebe said slowly. She repositioned herself on the chair so that her whole body faced Monica. "Well, after the gum thing, I couldn't stop thinking about-"
"Woah, woah," interrupted Monica. "I must have missed something. What gum thing?"
"Oh, right, I didn't tell you that bit yet," said Phoebe. "Where did I get to?"
Monica frowned. "Er- you said you were.... on top of Ross on the pavement," she said.
"Oh," said Phoebe, stumbling at the memory. She shook her head to get back to telling her story. "Well, it was....weird. I tried to get up, but I couldn't. And Ross started sweating, so I wiped it away, and then....." she trailed off, remembering.
"Then what?" Monica said.
Phoebe jerked herself out of her daze and returned her gaze to Monica. "Oh, sorry," she said. "Well, then we... then we almost...." She trailed off again, mumbling something indistinct.
Monica waved her hands impatiently. "What? What? You almost what?" She looked at Phoebe's guilty, troubled face, and it clicked. "You didn't."
Phoebe nodded.
"Well then what?" asked Monica.
"I got my gum stuck in his hair," answered Phoebe.
Monica snorted with laughter. "I'll bet he loved that," she giggled.
Phoebe gigled too. "No, he totally freaked out. But you know Ross."
Monica smiled. "So then what happened?"
"I got a cab, and went home. I thought that was the end of it, that it was a one time thing, but it just kept coming back, I kept thinking about him, all the time...." She started crying, the seriousness of her situation etched deep into her face, tears running over her cheeks. "I- I don't know what to do," she choked, wretched sobs overcoming her.
Monica put her arm around her, offering Phoebe her shoulder. "Shhh, shhh, it'll all be alright," she soothed, while her mind buzzed, trying to figure out what would happen, what could happen.
Phoebe lifted her tear-stained face upwards to look at Monica. "How do you know that? I can barely talk to him now, it'll just get worse. You know it will."
Monica took Phoebe's shoulders firmly and shook her. "No. It'll be fine. But exactly what happens depends on what you decide to do," she said. She dropped her hands, releasind Phoebe from her grip. "What do you want to do? Do you want to be with Ross?"
Phoebe stared at her. Just as Rachel had been when talking about Kate with Monica, Phoebe found herself stunned about the blunt way Monica had put it. Even though it was her own brother's love life she was talking about, Monica didn't beat about the bush.
"Well?" pressed Monica.
"I- I don't know," stammered Phoebe. "I keep picturing him with me, we're, well, y'know, and it makes me ache. But it's wrong." Phoebe looked down sadly. "And I know it is."
Monia had started squirming uncomfortably at the image of her brother "y'knowing", but Phoebe's sadness distracted her attention.
"Well, it's what you think that matters. But you have to tell him," she said.
Phoebe groaned. "Couldn't you tell him? Please?"
Monica smiled gently. "I would, but I think this is one thing that you have to do for yourself."
*****
Joey squirmed as more of Rachel's screams filled the air.
The docors seemed to know what was wrong, but if they did they weren't telling him. Althought that might be becasue his eyes were staring unbrokenly at the wall opposite, and his face looked like he'd just exited a graveyard.
He felt his hand being crushed by Rachel's painful grip. His hand seemed to have become numb over the time he'd sat there, his and Rachel's connection not broken.
God, he did love her. He'd never loved anyone this way, but he'd still managed to mess it up. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he still blamed himself. Her shouting had hurt, but he knew that was what people thought. But he didn't want it to be true.
He suddenly looked up at the sound of chatter. Rachel had stopped screaming, and Dr. Long was talking animatedly with two nurses on the other side of the room.
The nurses left, and Dr. Long gestured to Joey to come outside. He stood up, gently stroking Rachel's hand before unlinking them, and walked throught the door after Dr.Long.
"What is it? Do you know what's wrong?" he asked anxiously.
Dr. Long smiled. "Joey, Rachel is going to be fine. She simply had what's known as a threatened abortion. That's not as bad as it sounds," she laughed at Joey's look. "It just got a little... out of hand. Was she under any stress at the time?"
Joey looked down. "We were having an arguement," he said quietly.
Dr. Long nodded. "Ah, well, the increased blood pressure can worsen the condition. It usually entails vaginal bleeding and abdominal cramps, which caused her screaming. The stress just increased the pain. A couple of days rest, and she'll be fine," she said. "We're going to keep her in for a little while longer, but if she's still okay then, you can take her home." She smiled and walked off.
Joey stood there for a moment, taking it all in. Then he walked back into to the room, where Rachel was sat up, looking anxious.
"What? What it is?" she asked.
Joey smiled, gently brushing back her hair from her face as he perched himself on the edge of the bed. "You'll be fine. They're gonna keep you in for a bit longer, then we can go home. The you've just got to rest for a couple of days."
Rachel relaxed. "Thank you," she said, looking up at him.
For a minute they just stared at each other, both remembering they times they had enjoyed together. Joey smiled as he saw Rachel sitting next to him on the Mr.Beaumont, and Rachel saw herself sitting on Joey's lap in the shiny black barcolounger. But then they remebered the shouting, the crying, and they looked away again.
"I'll- go- go and tell the others, okay?" stammered Joey, walking out, casting one last wistful glance at the woman he loved more than any other sitting up in a hospital bed.
"Okay," whispered Rachel, her eyes gazing after him.
*****
Phoebe's eyes scanned the waiting area, her heart pounding in her chest, making a sound which resounded defeaningly in her head.
She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to see the look on his face when she said the words that would end the relationship which had never even started.
But she had to.
He wasn't there. She sighed in frustration, sinking into a chair in the middle of the room. Monica had gone off somewhere, and Chandler had never returned.
Phoebe was all alone.
*****
A quarter of an hour passed. Phoebe's eyes never left the clock, watching the hands click round the circle, each movement taking what seemed like an hour to happen.
"Phoebe?"
It was him: his soft, warm voice melodically echoing in her head. She looked around, seeing him sit down. He was smiling.
His smile was so pure, so warm, that she could have stared at it forever, she thought. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him. She just found herself smiling back.
When she saw his face starting to lean in towards her, she tried to move away, but once again she found her body frozen in place. Perhaps the lure of one last kiss was too great to resist.
She closed her eyes as their lips touched, the sweet flavour of his tongue teasing her, sending chills down her spine, thrilling her like never before.
Her mind suddnely switched on, and she tore her lips from his. A small moan escaped his mouth, and he opened his eyes.
"What are you doing?" he breathed.
Phoebe closed her eyes, not wanting to see his face when she uttered the dreaded words.
"We can't," she said. "It's wrong. You know it is."
She heard Ross inhale. She didn't dare to open her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice flat, trying not to cry. She turned her head, opened her eyes, and stood up. Not daring to cast her eyes back, she ran out of the room, leaving Ross silently devastated in his seat, his body frozen.
*****
Monica tapped the glass of the hospital room, entering when Rachel waved her in.
"Hi," said Monica, walking over to the bed and perching on the edge. "How are you doing?"
Rachel gave a flicker of a smile. "I'm okay. Nothing's hurt for awhile. Where's everyone else?" she asked.
"Well, I saw Chandler a few minutes ago, he told me you were better, and I think Joey's gone to the bathroom. I don't know where Ross and Phoebe are," answered Monica. "How are things with you and Joey, anyway?"
Rachel looked up at her. "I don't know," she replied.
"Well, have you forgiven him?"
Rachel felt a tear drop from her eye. "I- I don't know."
Part 8: Watching The Hands
Disclaimer: I'd better put this in- I do not own any of these characters. How much does it cost to buy Phoebe, though? Oh. That much?
Author's Note: I am so, so sorry this chapter took so long. I could offer you a list of excuses, but that would bore you stupid. I promise the next chapter won't be so long.
Secondly, if the medical details in this chapter are wrong, please forgive me. I know nothing about things like this, but I did a little research, although I probably got it wrong anyway. Don't leave reviews saying it's all wrong. If anyone knows what it should say, email me and I can change it. But only if you know what you're talking about.
And finally, please review! I'll know if you don't! (Okay, that's a lie. But I will be very upset.)
*****
Joey looked down at the floor, his eyes out of focus. He felt the marks of the tears beneath his eyes, left by the tears he'd shed just half an hour ago.
A couple of hours ago he'd been so happy with his life. Everything had been so perfect.
'Too perfect', he thought. 'I should have expected it to all come crashing down.'
And the worst thing was that even though he'd done nothing wrong, guilt was seeping through him.
He heard Rachel's screams as though she was in some distant place, but he felt her hand crushing his painfully, and remebered she was right next to him.
Her pain seemed to come and go, making her yell at it's worst. Sometimes she was fine, sitting there silently, but waiting for her pain to return. And it did.
Joey heard Rachel's screams increase in volume, and looked up at the knowledge that her pain was worsening. Her tight grip on his hand became harder than he thought was possible.
He stood up, his eyes coming back into focus to see her contorted expression. The panic in her eyes had not left.
Dr. Long stood on the other side of Rachel, inspecting a screen stood next to the bed. She wrote something on a pad, then rushed out.
Rachel stopped yelling and her expression relaxed slightly. she looked at Joey, and saw the sadness in his eyes and the concern on his face. She remembered all the things her mouth had produced before, but only now did she see how much they had hurt him. She hadn't meant to shout at him. And anyway, it hadn't exactly got her very far. She was in a hospital, in danger of losing her baby.
He realised she was looking at him, and turned his head towards her. There was an unspoken plea for forgiveness in his eyes, but he didn't say anything, just squeezed her hand and tried to smile. But the smile didn't reach his eyes, and he looked away again.
And then her pain returned.
*****
"She's still there," said Monica, walking over to where Ross, Chandler and Phoebe were sitting.
Phoebe leaned foward. "No change?" she asked.
Monica shook her head. "No. Joey's still there with her," she said, sitting down next to Chandler.
"Did they let you in?" asked Chandler.
"No," said Monica. "I looked in through the window, and then I asked a nurse. They haven't figured out what's wrong yet." She looked at Phoebe and Ross. "You two didn't finish telling us what happened."
Chandler looked around. "No, you didn't," he said eagerly.
Ross gulped. "I- er- need to go to the bathroom," he said, standing up nervously and walking quickly away. Phoebe looked down at the ground, avoiding Monica's accusing gaze.
Chandler jumped up. "I- I'll go and see if he's- he's okay," he stammered, wanting to get out of the way of the conversation he knew he'd be excluded from if he stayed, and knowing Monica didn't want him there anyway.
Monica moved over to fill Ross' vacated seat. "Phoebe?" she asked, since Phoebe was staring intently at a stain on the floor.
"Umm?" muttered Phoebe, not looking up.
Monica rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me?" she asked impatiently.
Phoebe forced her head upwards to look Monica in the eye. "I don't know," she said truthfully. "It's all so confusing," she lamented, rubbing her forehead and looking away again.
"Look, if you tell me, I might be able to help," said Monica.
"Okay," Phoebe said slowly. She repositioned herself on the chair so that her whole body faced Monica. "Well, after the gum thing, I couldn't stop thinking about-"
"Woah, woah," interrupted Monica. "I must have missed something. What gum thing?"
"Oh, right, I didn't tell you that bit yet," said Phoebe. "Where did I get to?"
Monica frowned. "Er- you said you were.... on top of Ross on the pavement," she said.
"Oh," said Phoebe, stumbling at the memory. She shook her head to get back to telling her story. "Well, it was....weird. I tried to get up, but I couldn't. And Ross started sweating, so I wiped it away, and then....." she trailed off, remembering.
"Then what?" Monica said.
Phoebe jerked herself out of her daze and returned her gaze to Monica. "Oh, sorry," she said. "Well, then we... then we almost...." She trailed off again, mumbling something indistinct.
Monica waved her hands impatiently. "What? What? You almost what?" She looked at Phoebe's guilty, troubled face, and it clicked. "You didn't."
Phoebe nodded.
"Well then what?" asked Monica.
"I got my gum stuck in his hair," answered Phoebe.
Monica snorted with laughter. "I'll bet he loved that," she giggled.
Phoebe gigled too. "No, he totally freaked out. But you know Ross."
Monica smiled. "So then what happened?"
"I got a cab, and went home. I thought that was the end of it, that it was a one time thing, but it just kept coming back, I kept thinking about him, all the time...." She started crying, the seriousness of her situation etched deep into her face, tears running over her cheeks. "I- I don't know what to do," she choked, wretched sobs overcoming her.
Monica put her arm around her, offering Phoebe her shoulder. "Shhh, shhh, it'll all be alright," she soothed, while her mind buzzed, trying to figure out what would happen, what could happen.
Phoebe lifted her tear-stained face upwards to look at Monica. "How do you know that? I can barely talk to him now, it'll just get worse. You know it will."
Monica took Phoebe's shoulders firmly and shook her. "No. It'll be fine. But exactly what happens depends on what you decide to do," she said. She dropped her hands, releasind Phoebe from her grip. "What do you want to do? Do you want to be with Ross?"
Phoebe stared at her. Just as Rachel had been when talking about Kate with Monica, Phoebe found herself stunned about the blunt way Monica had put it. Even though it was her own brother's love life she was talking about, Monica didn't beat about the bush.
"Well?" pressed Monica.
"I- I don't know," stammered Phoebe. "I keep picturing him with me, we're, well, y'know, and it makes me ache. But it's wrong." Phoebe looked down sadly. "And I know it is."
Monia had started squirming uncomfortably at the image of her brother "y'knowing", but Phoebe's sadness distracted her attention.
"Well, it's what you think that matters. But you have to tell him," she said.
Phoebe groaned. "Couldn't you tell him? Please?"
Monica smiled gently. "I would, but I think this is one thing that you have to do for yourself."
*****
Joey squirmed as more of Rachel's screams filled the air.
The docors seemed to know what was wrong, but if they did they weren't telling him. Althought that might be becasue his eyes were staring unbrokenly at the wall opposite, and his face looked like he'd just exited a graveyard.
He felt his hand being crushed by Rachel's painful grip. His hand seemed to have become numb over the time he'd sat there, his and Rachel's connection not broken.
God, he did love her. He'd never loved anyone this way, but he'd still managed to mess it up. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he still blamed himself. Her shouting had hurt, but he knew that was what people thought. But he didn't want it to be true.
He suddenly looked up at the sound of chatter. Rachel had stopped screaming, and Dr. Long was talking animatedly with two nurses on the other side of the room.
The nurses left, and Dr. Long gestured to Joey to come outside. He stood up, gently stroking Rachel's hand before unlinking them, and walked throught the door after Dr.Long.
"What is it? Do you know what's wrong?" he asked anxiously.
Dr. Long smiled. "Joey, Rachel is going to be fine. She simply had what's known as a threatened abortion. That's not as bad as it sounds," she laughed at Joey's look. "It just got a little... out of hand. Was she under any stress at the time?"
Joey looked down. "We were having an arguement," he said quietly.
Dr. Long nodded. "Ah, well, the increased blood pressure can worsen the condition. It usually entails vaginal bleeding and abdominal cramps, which caused her screaming. The stress just increased the pain. A couple of days rest, and she'll be fine," she said. "We're going to keep her in for a little while longer, but if she's still okay then, you can take her home." She smiled and walked off.
Joey stood there for a moment, taking it all in. Then he walked back into to the room, where Rachel was sat up, looking anxious.
"What? What it is?" she asked.
Joey smiled, gently brushing back her hair from her face as he perched himself on the edge of the bed. "You'll be fine. They're gonna keep you in for a bit longer, then we can go home. The you've just got to rest for a couple of days."
Rachel relaxed. "Thank you," she said, looking up at him.
For a minute they just stared at each other, both remembering they times they had enjoyed together. Joey smiled as he saw Rachel sitting next to him on the Mr.Beaumont, and Rachel saw herself sitting on Joey's lap in the shiny black barcolounger. But then they remebered the shouting, the crying, and they looked away again.
"I'll- go- go and tell the others, okay?" stammered Joey, walking out, casting one last wistful glance at the woman he loved more than any other sitting up in a hospital bed.
"Okay," whispered Rachel, her eyes gazing after him.
*****
Phoebe's eyes scanned the waiting area, her heart pounding in her chest, making a sound which resounded defeaningly in her head.
She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to see the look on his face when she said the words that would end the relationship which had never even started.
But she had to.
He wasn't there. She sighed in frustration, sinking into a chair in the middle of the room. Monica had gone off somewhere, and Chandler had never returned.
Phoebe was all alone.
*****
A quarter of an hour passed. Phoebe's eyes never left the clock, watching the hands click round the circle, each movement taking what seemed like an hour to happen.
"Phoebe?"
It was him: his soft, warm voice melodically echoing in her head. She looked around, seeing him sit down. He was smiling.
His smile was so pure, so warm, that she could have stared at it forever, she thought. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him. She just found herself smiling back.
When she saw his face starting to lean in towards her, she tried to move away, but once again she found her body frozen in place. Perhaps the lure of one last kiss was too great to resist.
She closed her eyes as their lips touched, the sweet flavour of his tongue teasing her, sending chills down her spine, thrilling her like never before.
Her mind suddnely switched on, and she tore her lips from his. A small moan escaped his mouth, and he opened his eyes.
"What are you doing?" he breathed.
Phoebe closed her eyes, not wanting to see his face when she uttered the dreaded words.
"We can't," she said. "It's wrong. You know it is."
She heard Ross inhale. She didn't dare to open her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice flat, trying not to cry. She turned her head, opened her eyes, and stood up. Not daring to cast her eyes back, she ran out of the room, leaving Ross silently devastated in his seat, his body frozen.
*****
Monica tapped the glass of the hospital room, entering when Rachel waved her in.
"Hi," said Monica, walking over to the bed and perching on the edge. "How are you doing?"
Rachel gave a flicker of a smile. "I'm okay. Nothing's hurt for awhile. Where's everyone else?" she asked.
"Well, I saw Chandler a few minutes ago, he told me you were better, and I think Joey's gone to the bathroom. I don't know where Ross and Phoebe are," answered Monica. "How are things with you and Joey, anyway?"
Rachel looked up at her. "I don't know," she replied.
"Well, have you forgiven him?"
Rachel felt a tear drop from her eye. "I- I don't know."