A/N I'm extremely sorry for this delay. Between the holidays, being sick,
being out of town, funerals and weddings, not to mention writers block,
I've hardly had time to write at all. I'm making this a nice long chapter
to hopefully make up for this though.
"Abby," Merry was thinking, "is acting strangely."
And indeed she was. Instead of lagging behind in the back of the group as she had been wont to do on this journey, she walked in the middle. Instead of playfully teasing Lord Steven she said little or nothing to him. She walked briskly starring at her feet and did not join in with the songs and games of the hobbits. She seemed to be often deep in thought. She didn't even pay any attention when Aragorn said, "This used to be the watch tower of Aumun' Sul. We rest here tonight."
She didn't pay the slightest attention when Aragorn passed out swords and daggers claiming that the ring wraiths were not far behind them and that for Mordor to know where the ring was now, Saruman must be corrupted.
She stayed quiet as Aragorn left and the others started drifting off to sleep until what seemed like eons later Frodo's cry of. "Put it out you fools! Put it out!" awoke her sharply.
That's when they heard it, the cry of the nazgul. Everyone shuddered. Steve looked around where they stood and yelled, "Okay! It's time everyone goes up on the top! Get moving!"
He needn't have said more as the whole group were running as fast as they could to reach the tops of the ruins.
The nazgul had reached the top shortly afterwards. The five hobbits shoved Abby and Steven forward and Abby who could barely lift the massive sword that Aragorn had given her..
Author: Hahahahah! Oh why can't you people see all of the bad seventh grade bathroom humor you can draw from this?
Narrator Dude: Uh Mia.we were just at one of the dramatic semi- climaxes...you really should continue...
Author: Oh! But this fic is so funny!
Narrator Dude: JUST GET THE HELL ON WITH THE STORY MIA!
Author: (under breath) Jeez, I am so talking to my agent about him.
The nazgul had reached the top shortly afterwards. The five hobbits shoved Abby and Steven forward and Abby who could barely lift the massive sword that Aragorn had given her, Shoved the bulky Steven in front of her. He was shaking something awful but he stood his ground.
The nazgul stepped forward, and Steven automatically stepped back. Merry and Pippin looked at each other and bellowed, "FOR THE SHIRE!" and attacked the nearest nazgul.
However the servants of Sauron Lord of Mordor are most decidedly more trained in the field of fencing, and without even a struggle pushed the two hobbits away. Sam and Bilbo charged. They were pushed away as well.
Abby glanced at Steven and they both looked at Frodo whose sword had fallen to the ground in fright.
"STRIDER!" They both screamed running to the other side of the watch tower, "STRIDER!"
"GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP HERE!" Abby added.
He heard their pleas and came rushing forward with lightening speed. "Out of the way!" He yelled trying to reach Frodo and the ring. But it was too late. Frodo put on the ring, and everyone else watched in horror as the Nazgul pierced the air with a jagged knife. Aragorn in a flight of fury grabbed the torch he was holding in one hand and fought the nazgul.
Steel crashed against steel and the sounds they made were unbearable to the ears. "Holy, Holy Jesus." Steven said covering his ears and wincing at the nazgul's screeches. "We started moving forward so much sooner than the book! This shouldn't be happening!"
The nazgul fled as each one was lit on fire. Everyone rushed forward to Frodo. He was panting and wheezing just like the movie. Aragorn picked up the blade and went on his little spiel about it but neither Abby nor Steven paid him the slightest heed as they were both all too aware of the glare that Merry was sending them. 'Why did you not fight?' He asked as Aragorn picked up Frodo and they left Amon Sul at a face past.
Neither spoke but their distress at his words was obvious on their faces.
"Well?" he spat fury rising.
Silence.
"It's true then? What I heard Strider muttering about the other night? He believes you might be on the side of the enemy?"
"We are most certainly not, on the side of the enemy Merry." Abby declared through gritted teeth.
"Well explain ourselves then. Why did you not fight?"
Abby's cheeks were becoming flushed but it was Steven, ever even tempered who span around on his place on the cart and addressed the hobbit first, "Do you want to know why Merry? Do you honestly want to know why I didn't go and try to duel a ring wraith?"
"Y-yes." He stammered.
"It's because I've never held a sword before. Never. Not once in the entirety of my life."
"What?" said Pippin eyes wide, "You're nearly twenty summers Lord Steven and you mean to say you never have held a sword before?"
"No." he snarled, "I haven't. We aren't exactly from a country where teenagers go around learning how to kill each other."
Abby snorted showing the first sign of her true self in the past two days, "Stevie, I beg to differ. The Revolutionary war, the war of 1812, all those nice little spats we've had with Indians, which even if out Social Studies teacher was too thick to admit it, was much worse than, "Lover's quarrels." Then there's the civil war, nice bloody battle that was, and all that after math, World War I, World War II, Vietnam, Korea, the Cold War, the Gulf War, the semi-war thingy in Afghanistan, The War in Iraq..The list goes ever on and on bub."
Steven let out a deep sigh, the tension slowly easing from his body. "Okay, miss know it all, I acknowledge your declaration as a truthful statement of the facts."
The rickety cart led by Bill the Pony and company was slowly trudging its heavy party to Rivendell, but time was growing short for dear semi-wraith Frodo, not to mention that the Ring wraiths had decided it would be a good idea to stalk them. They kept trudging onwards however until late the next night when they were all settling down for a little shut eye Sam decided to announce that Frodo had, "Gone cold."
"Do you know the plant athelous Sam?" Aragorn asked after examining the wounds and declaring that Frodo needed Elfish medicine.
"Atholios?' he asked concentrating hard, "Not that I can think of."
"Kingsfoil!" Steven exclaimed, "Now start your searching Samwise!"
"Kingsfoil?" he asked surprised, "Why that's a weed! I'll be right on it."
Sam quickly trotted off in one direction where he thought the weed in question might be growing. Aragorn decided to trot off to another pausing only to give Steven a small smile.
Abby was spying eve when she knew that she shouldn't. A very strong heated debate was going on in her head and she wanted to know before the others. Would this little event prove to be book or movie? Book or movie. So far her instincts were screaming "MOVIE!" as loud as they possibly could. After all it had been her television that "sucked" her and Steven into Middle Earth as it was. But little things tended to contrast it. While Frodo looked a little bit like Elijah there was no great resemblance between them. He was also a little bit older than the Frodo of the movies, as it was in the books his thirty fourth birthday. However everything else was exactly the same. Exactly the same and it was creeping her out, not that falling into a fictional world wasn't scary enough as it is.
"What's this, a ranger caught off his guard?" said Arwen as Abby watched from the shadows.
Silently Abby cheered, her instincts were never wrong, but, why was Arwen quoting the movie, word for **bleeping** word?
He smirked at her, "A ranger is never caught off his guard my lady, your horse gave you away."
Abby couldn't help but blush at the flirting, as she heard Steven approach from behind. "Sam's found the Kingsfoil, what's up?" surveying the now suddenly intimate scene she was watching her bluntly said, "Oh I get it."
"You made me miss the good part you moron," she snarled half heartedly knowing by now that both elf and ranger had most likely heard her, "Oi! Lovebirds! There's a hobbit that needs some help and a bunch wraiths chasing us. Mind not kissing until we reach Rivendell?"
Aragorn turned his head sharply over to them and marched right up. His face was flushed from his previous activity, and his anger at Abigail was only restrained by the fact that she did have a valid point. As a matter of fact, she always seemed to have a valid point, or something sarcastic to say, about everything. He shook his head violently rushing to Frodo were he quickly applied the herb to the wound. Now was not the time to dwell on the particularities of his fellow travelers.
Frodo gasped and started to pant as the herbs touched his infected wounds. He worked carefully pressing them in ever so gently before lifting the valiant hobbit up. In Elfish he argued with Arwen about who was to take the road. In the end, as usual Arwen won. And she gracefully climbed onto her horse Frodo situated in front of her and took off with a gallop. Aragorn calmly watched as she traveled away and did not respond as Sam yelled at him for letting Frodo go with the wraiths still out there.
And as Aragorn drove the cart away at a fast pace hoping to reach Rivendell by the next morn, Bilbo, Pippin, Abby, Sam and Steven all silently occurred that it had been one hell of a day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Rivendell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Steven and Abigail had first seen The Fellowship of the Ring, Abby had decided that no place could be more beautiful than the Elvin realm as Peter Jackson portrayed it. But as she looked at it now, and the past few weeks she had spent in it, she had decided that the movie did not do this place justice. The curves, the arches, the colors of all the buildings and plant life was so vibrant and alive, so lush and full of laughter that she couldn't see how the elves could ever want to leave. Tolkein had claimed that the place itself was slowly dieing because the age of the elves was ending, so she and Steven could only imagine what it was like in the height of it's time.
But that's not really the point of this narrative. Time passed pleasantly, Frodo healed, Gandalf returned, there was much merriment and lot's of elfish was spoken as well as a little pig Latin between Abby and Steven. They were really sick of elves talking around them in elfish when they couldn't speak it, or understand it. Let them taste their own medicine.
The elves as a whole in the out-worlders opinion weren't exactly all they were cracked up to be. Besides walking so quietly that the mortal ears were not able to hear their foot falls, the flawless faces, the "Ultra super Elfish hearing" as Abby would call it, the wonderful singing voices, the proper, manners they really were just normal people. Even if they were perfect, with the perfect things to say, and the perfect things to wear, and on and on and on.
Anyway, time passed, time until Lord Elrond's council. On the eve of the secret meeting Abby and Steven addressed the Elvin Lord on the fact that they had not been invited.
"Good evening, Lord Elrond." Steven said in a pleasant voice while cracking his knuckles.
"Good Evening Lord Steven, Lady Abigail."
"Evenin'" Abby chirped.
"Now uh, Elrond you could call us best friends right?" Steven asked scooting up next to him.
The elf raised a solitary brow, "No you could not."
"Good friends?" He asked hesitantly.
"I should not venture to declare so."
"Regular friends?" Steven asked hopefully.
"Even that is crossing the bonds of our so called relationship."
"General acquaintances?" Abby asked.
"That statement is spoken in truth, yes."
"Right, right," Steven said, "SO as our acquaintance wouldn't you tell us about any secret councils that you plan on having?"
"Secret councils that happen to do with a piece of jewelry belonging to one of our friends?" Abby extended.
Lord Elrond closed his eyes using all the strength he had to compose himself in front of these two young mortals. "I would not tell two idiotic insolences about any secret council that I may hold tomorrow relating to any piece of jewelry that your friend wears."
"You wouldn't mine repeating that would you?" Steven asked.
"I clearly stated that I would not tell two idiotic indolence about any secret council that I may hold tomorrow---Maar Aniatar..." He trailed off cringing at the information he had leaked.
"Tootles El." Abby said rushing off before Elrond could kill her.
"I'll second that!" Steven bellowed trailing behind the tiny girl.
Lord Elrond went to his study and slumped down in his chair, "I must be getting old." He thought wearily, "In spirit if not body."
A/N Well this chapter was kind of a filler I swear the next one will be funny!
"Abby," Merry was thinking, "is acting strangely."
And indeed she was. Instead of lagging behind in the back of the group as she had been wont to do on this journey, she walked in the middle. Instead of playfully teasing Lord Steven she said little or nothing to him. She walked briskly starring at her feet and did not join in with the songs and games of the hobbits. She seemed to be often deep in thought. She didn't even pay any attention when Aragorn said, "This used to be the watch tower of Aumun' Sul. We rest here tonight."
She didn't pay the slightest attention when Aragorn passed out swords and daggers claiming that the ring wraiths were not far behind them and that for Mordor to know where the ring was now, Saruman must be corrupted.
She stayed quiet as Aragorn left and the others started drifting off to sleep until what seemed like eons later Frodo's cry of. "Put it out you fools! Put it out!" awoke her sharply.
That's when they heard it, the cry of the nazgul. Everyone shuddered. Steve looked around where they stood and yelled, "Okay! It's time everyone goes up on the top! Get moving!"
He needn't have said more as the whole group were running as fast as they could to reach the tops of the ruins.
The nazgul had reached the top shortly afterwards. The five hobbits shoved Abby and Steven forward and Abby who could barely lift the massive sword that Aragorn had given her..
Author: Hahahahah! Oh why can't you people see all of the bad seventh grade bathroom humor you can draw from this?
Narrator Dude: Uh Mia.we were just at one of the dramatic semi- climaxes...you really should continue...
Author: Oh! But this fic is so funny!
Narrator Dude: JUST GET THE HELL ON WITH THE STORY MIA!
Author: (under breath) Jeez, I am so talking to my agent about him.
The nazgul had reached the top shortly afterwards. The five hobbits shoved Abby and Steven forward and Abby who could barely lift the massive sword that Aragorn had given her, Shoved the bulky Steven in front of her. He was shaking something awful but he stood his ground.
The nazgul stepped forward, and Steven automatically stepped back. Merry and Pippin looked at each other and bellowed, "FOR THE SHIRE!" and attacked the nearest nazgul.
However the servants of Sauron Lord of Mordor are most decidedly more trained in the field of fencing, and without even a struggle pushed the two hobbits away. Sam and Bilbo charged. They were pushed away as well.
Abby glanced at Steven and they both looked at Frodo whose sword had fallen to the ground in fright.
"STRIDER!" They both screamed running to the other side of the watch tower, "STRIDER!"
"GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP HERE!" Abby added.
He heard their pleas and came rushing forward with lightening speed. "Out of the way!" He yelled trying to reach Frodo and the ring. But it was too late. Frodo put on the ring, and everyone else watched in horror as the Nazgul pierced the air with a jagged knife. Aragorn in a flight of fury grabbed the torch he was holding in one hand and fought the nazgul.
Steel crashed against steel and the sounds they made were unbearable to the ears. "Holy, Holy Jesus." Steven said covering his ears and wincing at the nazgul's screeches. "We started moving forward so much sooner than the book! This shouldn't be happening!"
The nazgul fled as each one was lit on fire. Everyone rushed forward to Frodo. He was panting and wheezing just like the movie. Aragorn picked up the blade and went on his little spiel about it but neither Abby nor Steven paid him the slightest heed as they were both all too aware of the glare that Merry was sending them. 'Why did you not fight?' He asked as Aragorn picked up Frodo and they left Amon Sul at a face past.
Neither spoke but their distress at his words was obvious on their faces.
"Well?" he spat fury rising.
Silence.
"It's true then? What I heard Strider muttering about the other night? He believes you might be on the side of the enemy?"
"We are most certainly not, on the side of the enemy Merry." Abby declared through gritted teeth.
"Well explain ourselves then. Why did you not fight?"
Abby's cheeks were becoming flushed but it was Steven, ever even tempered who span around on his place on the cart and addressed the hobbit first, "Do you want to know why Merry? Do you honestly want to know why I didn't go and try to duel a ring wraith?"
"Y-yes." He stammered.
"It's because I've never held a sword before. Never. Not once in the entirety of my life."
"What?" said Pippin eyes wide, "You're nearly twenty summers Lord Steven and you mean to say you never have held a sword before?"
"No." he snarled, "I haven't. We aren't exactly from a country where teenagers go around learning how to kill each other."
Abby snorted showing the first sign of her true self in the past two days, "Stevie, I beg to differ. The Revolutionary war, the war of 1812, all those nice little spats we've had with Indians, which even if out Social Studies teacher was too thick to admit it, was much worse than, "Lover's quarrels." Then there's the civil war, nice bloody battle that was, and all that after math, World War I, World War II, Vietnam, Korea, the Cold War, the Gulf War, the semi-war thingy in Afghanistan, The War in Iraq..The list goes ever on and on bub."
Steven let out a deep sigh, the tension slowly easing from his body. "Okay, miss know it all, I acknowledge your declaration as a truthful statement of the facts."
The rickety cart led by Bill the Pony and company was slowly trudging its heavy party to Rivendell, but time was growing short for dear semi-wraith Frodo, not to mention that the Ring wraiths had decided it would be a good idea to stalk them. They kept trudging onwards however until late the next night when they were all settling down for a little shut eye Sam decided to announce that Frodo had, "Gone cold."
"Do you know the plant athelous Sam?" Aragorn asked after examining the wounds and declaring that Frodo needed Elfish medicine.
"Atholios?' he asked concentrating hard, "Not that I can think of."
"Kingsfoil!" Steven exclaimed, "Now start your searching Samwise!"
"Kingsfoil?" he asked surprised, "Why that's a weed! I'll be right on it."
Sam quickly trotted off in one direction where he thought the weed in question might be growing. Aragorn decided to trot off to another pausing only to give Steven a small smile.
Abby was spying eve when she knew that she shouldn't. A very strong heated debate was going on in her head and she wanted to know before the others. Would this little event prove to be book or movie? Book or movie. So far her instincts were screaming "MOVIE!" as loud as they possibly could. After all it had been her television that "sucked" her and Steven into Middle Earth as it was. But little things tended to contrast it. While Frodo looked a little bit like Elijah there was no great resemblance between them. He was also a little bit older than the Frodo of the movies, as it was in the books his thirty fourth birthday. However everything else was exactly the same. Exactly the same and it was creeping her out, not that falling into a fictional world wasn't scary enough as it is.
"What's this, a ranger caught off his guard?" said Arwen as Abby watched from the shadows.
Silently Abby cheered, her instincts were never wrong, but, why was Arwen quoting the movie, word for **bleeping** word?
He smirked at her, "A ranger is never caught off his guard my lady, your horse gave you away."
Abby couldn't help but blush at the flirting, as she heard Steven approach from behind. "Sam's found the Kingsfoil, what's up?" surveying the now suddenly intimate scene she was watching her bluntly said, "Oh I get it."
"You made me miss the good part you moron," she snarled half heartedly knowing by now that both elf and ranger had most likely heard her, "Oi! Lovebirds! There's a hobbit that needs some help and a bunch wraiths chasing us. Mind not kissing until we reach Rivendell?"
Aragorn turned his head sharply over to them and marched right up. His face was flushed from his previous activity, and his anger at Abigail was only restrained by the fact that she did have a valid point. As a matter of fact, she always seemed to have a valid point, or something sarcastic to say, about everything. He shook his head violently rushing to Frodo were he quickly applied the herb to the wound. Now was not the time to dwell on the particularities of his fellow travelers.
Frodo gasped and started to pant as the herbs touched his infected wounds. He worked carefully pressing them in ever so gently before lifting the valiant hobbit up. In Elfish he argued with Arwen about who was to take the road. In the end, as usual Arwen won. And she gracefully climbed onto her horse Frodo situated in front of her and took off with a gallop. Aragorn calmly watched as she traveled away and did not respond as Sam yelled at him for letting Frodo go with the wraiths still out there.
And as Aragorn drove the cart away at a fast pace hoping to reach Rivendell by the next morn, Bilbo, Pippin, Abby, Sam and Steven all silently occurred that it had been one hell of a day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Rivendell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Steven and Abigail had first seen The Fellowship of the Ring, Abby had decided that no place could be more beautiful than the Elvin realm as Peter Jackson portrayed it. But as she looked at it now, and the past few weeks she had spent in it, she had decided that the movie did not do this place justice. The curves, the arches, the colors of all the buildings and plant life was so vibrant and alive, so lush and full of laughter that she couldn't see how the elves could ever want to leave. Tolkein had claimed that the place itself was slowly dieing because the age of the elves was ending, so she and Steven could only imagine what it was like in the height of it's time.
But that's not really the point of this narrative. Time passed pleasantly, Frodo healed, Gandalf returned, there was much merriment and lot's of elfish was spoken as well as a little pig Latin between Abby and Steven. They were really sick of elves talking around them in elfish when they couldn't speak it, or understand it. Let them taste their own medicine.
The elves as a whole in the out-worlders opinion weren't exactly all they were cracked up to be. Besides walking so quietly that the mortal ears were not able to hear their foot falls, the flawless faces, the "Ultra super Elfish hearing" as Abby would call it, the wonderful singing voices, the proper, manners they really were just normal people. Even if they were perfect, with the perfect things to say, and the perfect things to wear, and on and on and on.
Anyway, time passed, time until Lord Elrond's council. On the eve of the secret meeting Abby and Steven addressed the Elvin Lord on the fact that they had not been invited.
"Good evening, Lord Elrond." Steven said in a pleasant voice while cracking his knuckles.
"Good Evening Lord Steven, Lady Abigail."
"Evenin'" Abby chirped.
"Now uh, Elrond you could call us best friends right?" Steven asked scooting up next to him.
The elf raised a solitary brow, "No you could not."
"Good friends?" He asked hesitantly.
"I should not venture to declare so."
"Regular friends?" Steven asked hopefully.
"Even that is crossing the bonds of our so called relationship."
"General acquaintances?" Abby asked.
"That statement is spoken in truth, yes."
"Right, right," Steven said, "SO as our acquaintance wouldn't you tell us about any secret councils that you plan on having?"
"Secret councils that happen to do with a piece of jewelry belonging to one of our friends?" Abby extended.
Lord Elrond closed his eyes using all the strength he had to compose himself in front of these two young mortals. "I would not tell two idiotic insolences about any secret council that I may hold tomorrow relating to any piece of jewelry that your friend wears."
"You wouldn't mine repeating that would you?" Steven asked.
"I clearly stated that I would not tell two idiotic indolence about any secret council that I may hold tomorrow---Maar Aniatar..." He trailed off cringing at the information he had leaked.
"Tootles El." Abby said rushing off before Elrond could kill her.
"I'll second that!" Steven bellowed trailing behind the tiny girl.
Lord Elrond went to his study and slumped down in his chair, "I must be getting old." He thought wearily, "In spirit if not body."
A/N Well this chapter was kind of a filler I swear the next one will be funny!