Sebastian´s Dilemma
Author´s Note: One of my reviewers was talking about the german title of Cruel Intentions. The German title is "Eiskalte Engel", and that means: Angels as cold as Ice or maybe ice-cold Angels. I dont know really how to translate it. Explanation for the german title: Kathryn and Sebastian pretend to be angels, but they aren´t really. They don´t believe in feelings, thats why "as cold as ice". "Angel of Ice", the title of my story, would be. . . I think. . . "Engel des Eises" or sumthin like that. I dont think you can really translate it.
Anway, thanks for all your reviews, really made me happy (
Chapter 2:
When Sebastian awoke the following morning, he heard loud voices coming from the living room. Who the fuck was screaming in the middle of the night? He looked at his alarm clock and realized that it was already 11:30.
"Oh fuck!", he thought while he got quickly out of his bed. School had started about 2 hours ago and he had promised Annette to pick her up. She was going to be pissed, he was pretty sure about that. He grabbed some black Armani Suit from his closet and ran into the bathroom. He had to find a good excuse for this. Maybe he should just tell her that he overslept? No... she wouldnt understand. She´d say it was just because he talked to Kathryn all night.
Kathryn. . . Now he remembered the reason. . . The reason why he stayed awake almost till 4 o´ clock in the morning. . . The reason why he woke up that late. . . He had thought about her all night. He was about to go over to her room, just to look after her, look what she was doing, if she was sad, or angry, or whatever . . . But he didn´t dare. She saw his journal. The evil things he wrote about her. She would never trust him again. . . Never. . . But had she actually EVER trusted him? He wasn´t sure. Kathryn never told him about her feelings towards him. They didn´t talk about feelings in any way, and he didnt really think of asking her about it too soon. He was planning to do that after he got his "reward", but she refused. So ... it was her fault, wasn´t it? No, it wasn´t ... A quiet voice said in his head. She refused because you had chosen Annette over her and turned her down. That´s why she didn´t give you you´re reward. But she sent Ronald after you. She wanted you dead. Did she really want that? Sebastian wondered. Did she really want to see him dead? He didnt think so. After all, she had some sort of feelings for him, he was sure about it. Well, at least, he hoped that. That was Kathryn, he could never be sure. Maybe she just wanted Ronald to kick his ass. Yeah, maybe . . . But maybe not . . . The voice said again. Maybe not . . .
He grabbed his school bag and started walking into the living room but stopped when he heard the voices again.
"Go, I never wanna see you again", Tiffany yelled in anger.
"Mother please . . .", Kathryn pleaded in a voice he had never heard from her before.
"No, I told you yesterday, it´s enough. Leave my home and leave me."
"But I. . . "
"But you what? You have nowhere to go? Well . . . Is that supposed to be my problem?"
"I can´t. . ."
"Yeah, you can´t look after yourself! But thats easy if you have to. You´ll learn. Now go!"
"Mum, I. . ."
"No Mum I! I´m gonna go to Regina now, and when I come back, I want you to be away! Did you understand this?"
"No.", Kathryn said stubbornly.
Sebastian heard a loud BANG like somebody has been hit. "Do you dare again to talk to your mother like this??", he heard his father screaming. "Do you?"
Silence. "ANSWER ME!!!", his father screamed like he was talking to Kathryn over a 1 mile football field.
Silence again. He heard a lot of BANGs and Kathryn whimpering. He couldn´t hear that any longer. Part of him wanted to go in and stop his father from hitting Kathryn but the other part was about to laugh because of this and tell Annette. He knew he should be happy, but he wasn´t. He wasn´t at all. Kathryn deserved a lot of things, but she didn´t deserve this. This was quite unfair. She couldn´t even defense herself against his father, and even if she could, he knew she wouldn´t really dare. Suddenly there was silence again, just Kathryn was whimpering quietly.
"Shut up!", his father screamed. !And now, I want you to get out of my house and never, I REPEAT NEVER, come back Did you get this? DID YOU?"
Nothing, just Kathryn´s whimpering. Probably she nodded, cause his father said: "Ok. Now, what are you waiting for?" He heard a noise, like somebody would fall to the floor and his father saying "GO!"
The door fell shut and it was quiet.
"Do you think we did the right thing?", Tiffany asked.
"Yeah, in any case.", his father answered, "I´m gonna go to work now. Call me at lunchtime?"
"Yes", Tiffany answered.
The door fell shut again and Sebastian walked right into the living room pretending he didnt hear anything of the previous actions, just in case Tiffany would go into her room or something, so she wouldnt´find him standing there.
"Hey Tiffany", he said friendly.
"Fuck off, Sebastian"
5 Minutes later Sebastian was on his way to school. But he had a bad feeling. Somehow he NEEDED to find Kathryn. It had sounded like she´d got hit very hard.
He turned his car around and drove in the opposite direction. But where could she possibly be? Suddenly Sebastian noticed that in all this years hed known her, he didnt even learn about a place Kathryn would go when she had nowhere else to go. The only friend Kathryn had, who knew her "true" face, was Blaine. Blaine. . . Could she possibly be there? It was worth a try.
Or maybe shed taken her cell phone with her. He tried to call, but no one answered. "Shit", he thought. So he had to drive to Blaine. . .
The same moment Blaine Tuttle was sitting quietly in his chair, watching the sun outside and having his breakfast, when his door bell rung.
He moaned annoyed and got up, slowly walking to the door. He got the shock of his life, when he finally opened it.
Kathryn was standing there, her forehead bleeding terribly, her right cheek black, her arms bruised and her lip bleeding and trembling from holding back the tears which wanted desperately to fall. "Kathryn. . .", was all he could say.
She looked to the ground, still shaking terribly. "What. . . What . . . happened?", Blaine asked her. "Come. . . in . . ." When she didn´t move he grabbed her carefully and dragged her in.
He dragged her over to the couch and set her down. "What the fuck happened?", he asked quietly. Kathryn said nothing, she just stared somewhere into the space, completely in shock.
"Hey!", Blaine said, touching her arm.
Finally Kathryn looked at him, but her eyes didn´t really focus on him. That was when he realized that she was completely drugged.
"Ok. . .", he said getting up and almost running into the kitchen, getting her a glass of water. "Drink this"
Kathryn drank slowly and suddenly Blaine felt sorry for her. He had never felt sorry for Kathryn in his whole life. But now he did.
"What happened?", Blaine asked her again.
Kathryn stopped drinking and tried to speak, but nothing came out.
"Who the fuck did this to you?" It looked like she had no strength left to tell him. She just looked sadly directly into his eyes.
"Who?", Blaine repeated more forcefully.
Kathryn again opened her mouth, but didnt say anything.
"Kathryn. . .", Blaine said carefully and touched her arm again. "Tell me. . ."
"Sebastian. . .", Kathryn whispered.
"What?"
"Sebastian. . . He. . ."
"Did he do this to you?"
"No. . . He. . . he hates. . . he hates me. . .", she stuttered.
"Why?"
"I. . . I. . ." She was nearly about to cry now, but still fighting back her tears.
"Come here. . .", Blaine said and took her softly into his arms. "You don´t need to be strong all the time. . ."
Kathryn didn´t start to cry, she just burried her face in Blaine´s chest, still shaking. "It´s ok. . ", he told her quietly. "It´s ok. . ."
"Maybe you should go to bed, hm?", he suggested after a few minutes.
She nodded slowly.
"Ok. . .", he stood up, taking Kathryn with him. "We have to go to the bathroom first, ok?"
She didnt answer anything. "Kathryn? We have to look after your injuries, ok?"
He dragged her over to the bathroom and sat her down on a sofa next to a whirlpool.
"No. . .", she said when he began to clean the bleeding wound on her forehead. "I have to.", he answered quietly. She tried to move her head away but Blaine forced her to hold still.
"Shh. . .", he said. "Don´t move."
Around 20 minutes later Sebastian stopped his jaguar right before Blaine´s house. He quickly got out and headed to the door.
He rang. God. . . please let her be ok. . . please. . . He was really afraid now. What if she had got hurt seriously? Blaine. . . C´mon asshole. . . hurry up. . .
After a few minutes, which seemed like a lifetime to Sebastian, his old friend finally opened the door.
"What do you want?", Blaine asked quite unfriendly.
"What´s up your ass?" Sebastian asked back.
"Are you really asking me that?", he asked back. The next moment Sebastian felt Blaine´s right fist on his cheek. "What the hell you think you´re doing to Kathryn?", he screamed, shaking his head in disgust.
"Hey! I didn´t do anyting."
"'And the injuries? God, Valmont, have you gone completely insane? I understand that your angry. I mean, she really gave you a reason but you can´t just beat her up like that. She´s a woman for Christ´s sake!"
"Blaine, please let me explain, my father - "
"Shut up, asshole. I tell you, if you ever touch her again, I - "
"Hey!", Sebastian interrupted him again. "My father hit her, I dont know what the fuck she told you, but I certainly didn´t touch her in any way!"
"Lier!", Blaine yelled, "She was right, you´ve completely changed. God, Sebastian, she´s afraid of you, she doesn´t even dare to tell me that it was you who hit her."
"Yeah, because it´s the truth: i didn´t touch her!", he screamed back.
"Right, cause Edward would hit Kathryn. . . She told me the same story. . . But you know what?"
"What?"
"I bet you threatened her if she told anybody you´d kill her or something like that. God, Sebastian, you´ve turned a once confident girl into a complete wrack. Are you aware of that?"
"It´s her fault! She almost got me killed, Blaine –"
"Yeah, but she didn´t want that to happen."
"Oh yes, she did! Sorry Blaine, I just know her too well."
"Well. . .", he said more quiet, "Obviously you don´t."
"God, she´s just acting, Blaine."
"No, not this time, Sebastian, not this time. I had to make her sleep with heroin, otherwise she wouldn´t have agreed to sleep."
Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but after a few seconds he shut it again.
"Can I see her?", he asked qietly.
"I don´t think it would be good.", Blaine answered, his voice softened.
"Is she ok? Has she got hurt?"
"It was really your father who hit her, eh?"
"Yeah. . ."
"She got a terrible bleeding cut on her forehead, which doesn´t look good, but the rests gonna be ok, I think."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, pretty sure. Now – "
"Pretty sure or sure sure?"
"Sure sure.", he reasured him in a bored kind of a voice."Now, you have two options. Whether you come in and watch me while I´m eating my breakfast or you fucking drive to school now – ", he looked at his watch, "I´m sure goldilocks already waiting and wondering what could have happened to you."
Sebastian wanted to smack that mocking grin from his face.
"Don´t call her that.", he said, clenching his teeth.
His grin just got wider. "Kathryn was right. . . ", he mocked. "You´re fucking p-whipped."
"Shut up!"
He snickered at his reaction. "Oh. . . I bet Goldilocks would be upset if she heard you saying words like that. . .Go and get some manners, Valmont."
And Sebastian turned around and headed off to his jaguar like he was planning to do just that.
"Where have you been?", Annette asked him about an hour later between classes.
"Sorry, I overslept", he answered.
"You talked to Kathryn all night, right?", she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"No. . .", he said, which was the truth. "She wasn´t even at home, she´s at Blaine´s." Ok, this wasn´t true, but the Looking-Directly-Into-Her-Eyes- Thing while saying it worked pretty well.
He felt a little bad about lying to Annette, but he had no other choice. She wouldn´t have believed him otherwise, he was sure about that.
"So you tried to talk to her.", she said.
"No?"
"Yeah you did."
"No! What makes you think I did?"
"Well. . . otherwise you wouldn´t know that she wasn´t there. I´m not stupid, Sebastian."
"I didn´t say you´re stupid.", he defended himself.
"No, you didn´t. But you act like you think it."
"I dont think – "
"Oh, forget it, Sebastian. It´s ok. I understand. . . after all you two were very close and she´s your sister, so I guess it´s ok if you looked after her."
"I didn´t –", he tried to say.
"No, it´s really ok. Don´t worry.", she interrupted him.
"I – ", he began again but in that moment Mrs Trevor entered the classroom and he had to keep his mouth shut. (He had already been kept in by her 4 times and he wasn´t planning on staying in today.)
The days passed by where Sebastian didn´t hear anything about Kathryn. One evening, Annette had gone out to some charity thing where he "would be in the way", like she told him, so he stayed at home and watched TV.
Suddenly Tiffany entered the room.
"Hey Sebastian.", she greeted him friendy.
"Hey Tiffany.", he said flatly.
"So. . . ", she began and it seemed like she actually wanted a nice conversation with him, "What have you been up to, today?"
"Nothing. And you?", he answered bored.
"Oh I bought some new Prada shoes, wanna see?"
"No, thanks.", he answered again, his voice filled with complete boredom.
"Ok. . .", Tiffany said, apparently confused by his behaviour, "Have you seen your father?"
"No. Have you seen Kathryn?"
She was kind of surprised by this question, he could tell it from her eyes which focused on him like she wanted to kill him just by looking at him.
"No. Why?"
"Just curious. You know where she is?"
"No. Do I look like I´d care?", she snapped.
"Hey, just wanted to know.", he appeased her.
"If you see your father. . . Tell him. . . I´m at Mrs Caldwell´s ok?"
"K."
She grabbed a coat and wanted to leave the room but he called her back.
"Umm... Tiffany?"
"Yes?"
"If you see Kathryn, tell her I´m sorry."
"What?"
"Just tell her."
"If you say so.", she snapped and he knew pretty damn well that she wouldn´t tell Kathryn, if she´d actually see her, not even in her worst dreams, but it was worth a try.
He switched off the TV and went slowly to his room. He stopped at Kathryn´s door and opened it.
Everything looked just like she´d left it. He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling of her four-poster bed. Everything in here remembered him of her. He had to think of her smile, her voice, her way to talk, her movements and her smell. . . Yeah. . . Her smell. . . Kathryn smelled quite good. . . After Sensi, from Giorgio Armani. He loved that perfum and even if he hated to admit it, it smelled a hundred times better than all of Annettes perfums together. And even if she wore the same perfum, she wouldn´t still smell like Kathryn, he thought bitterly. When he caught himself thinking that he cursed. No, the thing with Kathryn was over now. She had hurt him and Annette and she wanted to kill him. She was a cold, soulless and heartless bitch and there was nothing he could do about it.
He got up, repeating these words for a hundred times in his head and slowly went out on Kathryn´s balcony. He watched the cars on the street and tried to bann Kathryn and everything which rememberd him of her out of his head.
"She´s a cold, heartless, fucking bitch. . . And a whore. . ." He thought again.
No. . . she´s not. . . The little voice he forcefully tried to ignore all those last days whispered again. She´s not and you know it. You just try to talk yourelf into believing this bullshit so you won´t miss her.
I´m gonna be happy with Annette, he told himself, confident he would be able to ignore the voice until the pain inside his heart, which kept holding on all the time, would vanish. I´m gonna be happy. Nothing´s gonna seperate us again. I love her, and she loves me and we´re going to be very happy. Yeah. We´ll marry and have plenty of children and I´ll be a happy father. I´m gonna study medcine and I´m gonna be happy.
He left Kathryn´s balcony and went back in, all the time trying to convince himself that he´d be happy with Annette. That everything would be ok.
He stopped before her desk and his eyes focused on a golden little bottle standing on a shelf above it. There it was. Sensi, from Giorgio Armani.
Without one second thought he grabbed it, shoved it into his pocket and left the room.
Author´s Note: One of my reviewers was talking about the german title of Cruel Intentions. The German title is "Eiskalte Engel", and that means: Angels as cold as Ice or maybe ice-cold Angels. I dont know really how to translate it. Explanation for the german title: Kathryn and Sebastian pretend to be angels, but they aren´t really. They don´t believe in feelings, thats why "as cold as ice". "Angel of Ice", the title of my story, would be. . . I think. . . "Engel des Eises" or sumthin like that. I dont think you can really translate it.
Anway, thanks for all your reviews, really made me happy (
Chapter 2:
When Sebastian awoke the following morning, he heard loud voices coming from the living room. Who the fuck was screaming in the middle of the night? He looked at his alarm clock and realized that it was already 11:30.
"Oh fuck!", he thought while he got quickly out of his bed. School had started about 2 hours ago and he had promised Annette to pick her up. She was going to be pissed, he was pretty sure about that. He grabbed some black Armani Suit from his closet and ran into the bathroom. He had to find a good excuse for this. Maybe he should just tell her that he overslept? No... she wouldnt understand. She´d say it was just because he talked to Kathryn all night.
Kathryn. . . Now he remembered the reason. . . The reason why he stayed awake almost till 4 o´ clock in the morning. . . The reason why he woke up that late. . . He had thought about her all night. He was about to go over to her room, just to look after her, look what she was doing, if she was sad, or angry, or whatever . . . But he didn´t dare. She saw his journal. The evil things he wrote about her. She would never trust him again. . . Never. . . But had she actually EVER trusted him? He wasn´t sure. Kathryn never told him about her feelings towards him. They didn´t talk about feelings in any way, and he didnt really think of asking her about it too soon. He was planning to do that after he got his "reward", but she refused. So ... it was her fault, wasn´t it? No, it wasn´t ... A quiet voice said in his head. She refused because you had chosen Annette over her and turned her down. That´s why she didn´t give you you´re reward. But she sent Ronald after you. She wanted you dead. Did she really want that? Sebastian wondered. Did she really want to see him dead? He didnt think so. After all, she had some sort of feelings for him, he was sure about it. Well, at least, he hoped that. That was Kathryn, he could never be sure. Maybe she just wanted Ronald to kick his ass. Yeah, maybe . . . But maybe not . . . The voice said again. Maybe not . . .
He grabbed his school bag and started walking into the living room but stopped when he heard the voices again.
"Go, I never wanna see you again", Tiffany yelled in anger.
"Mother please . . .", Kathryn pleaded in a voice he had never heard from her before.
"No, I told you yesterday, it´s enough. Leave my home and leave me."
"But I. . . "
"But you what? You have nowhere to go? Well . . . Is that supposed to be my problem?"
"I can´t. . ."
"Yeah, you can´t look after yourself! But thats easy if you have to. You´ll learn. Now go!"
"Mum, I. . ."
"No Mum I! I´m gonna go to Regina now, and when I come back, I want you to be away! Did you understand this?"
"No.", Kathryn said stubbornly.
Sebastian heard a loud BANG like somebody has been hit. "Do you dare again to talk to your mother like this??", he heard his father screaming. "Do you?"
Silence. "ANSWER ME!!!", his father screamed like he was talking to Kathryn over a 1 mile football field.
Silence again. He heard a lot of BANGs and Kathryn whimpering. He couldn´t hear that any longer. Part of him wanted to go in and stop his father from hitting Kathryn but the other part was about to laugh because of this and tell Annette. He knew he should be happy, but he wasn´t. He wasn´t at all. Kathryn deserved a lot of things, but she didn´t deserve this. This was quite unfair. She couldn´t even defense herself against his father, and even if she could, he knew she wouldn´t really dare. Suddenly there was silence again, just Kathryn was whimpering quietly.
"Shut up!", his father screamed. !And now, I want you to get out of my house and never, I REPEAT NEVER, come back Did you get this? DID YOU?"
Nothing, just Kathryn´s whimpering. Probably she nodded, cause his father said: "Ok. Now, what are you waiting for?" He heard a noise, like somebody would fall to the floor and his father saying "GO!"
The door fell shut and it was quiet.
"Do you think we did the right thing?", Tiffany asked.
"Yeah, in any case.", his father answered, "I´m gonna go to work now. Call me at lunchtime?"
"Yes", Tiffany answered.
The door fell shut again and Sebastian walked right into the living room pretending he didnt hear anything of the previous actions, just in case Tiffany would go into her room or something, so she wouldnt´find him standing there.
"Hey Tiffany", he said friendly.
"Fuck off, Sebastian"
5 Minutes later Sebastian was on his way to school. But he had a bad feeling. Somehow he NEEDED to find Kathryn. It had sounded like she´d got hit very hard.
He turned his car around and drove in the opposite direction. But where could she possibly be? Suddenly Sebastian noticed that in all this years hed known her, he didnt even learn about a place Kathryn would go when she had nowhere else to go. The only friend Kathryn had, who knew her "true" face, was Blaine. Blaine. . . Could she possibly be there? It was worth a try.
Or maybe shed taken her cell phone with her. He tried to call, but no one answered. "Shit", he thought. So he had to drive to Blaine. . .
The same moment Blaine Tuttle was sitting quietly in his chair, watching the sun outside and having his breakfast, when his door bell rung.
He moaned annoyed and got up, slowly walking to the door. He got the shock of his life, when he finally opened it.
Kathryn was standing there, her forehead bleeding terribly, her right cheek black, her arms bruised and her lip bleeding and trembling from holding back the tears which wanted desperately to fall. "Kathryn. . .", was all he could say.
She looked to the ground, still shaking terribly. "What. . . What . . . happened?", Blaine asked her. "Come. . . in . . ." When she didn´t move he grabbed her carefully and dragged her in.
He dragged her over to the couch and set her down. "What the fuck happened?", he asked quietly. Kathryn said nothing, she just stared somewhere into the space, completely in shock.
"Hey!", Blaine said, touching her arm.
Finally Kathryn looked at him, but her eyes didn´t really focus on him. That was when he realized that she was completely drugged.
"Ok. . .", he said getting up and almost running into the kitchen, getting her a glass of water. "Drink this"
Kathryn drank slowly and suddenly Blaine felt sorry for her. He had never felt sorry for Kathryn in his whole life. But now he did.
"What happened?", Blaine asked her again.
Kathryn stopped drinking and tried to speak, but nothing came out.
"Who the fuck did this to you?" It looked like she had no strength left to tell him. She just looked sadly directly into his eyes.
"Who?", Blaine repeated more forcefully.
Kathryn again opened her mouth, but didnt say anything.
"Kathryn. . .", Blaine said carefully and touched her arm again. "Tell me. . ."
"Sebastian. . .", Kathryn whispered.
"What?"
"Sebastian. . . He. . ."
"Did he do this to you?"
"No. . . He. . . he hates. . . he hates me. . .", she stuttered.
"Why?"
"I. . . I. . ." She was nearly about to cry now, but still fighting back her tears.
"Come here. . .", Blaine said and took her softly into his arms. "You don´t need to be strong all the time. . ."
Kathryn didn´t start to cry, she just burried her face in Blaine´s chest, still shaking. "It´s ok. . ", he told her quietly. "It´s ok. . ."
"Maybe you should go to bed, hm?", he suggested after a few minutes.
She nodded slowly.
"Ok. . .", he stood up, taking Kathryn with him. "We have to go to the bathroom first, ok?"
She didnt answer anything. "Kathryn? We have to look after your injuries, ok?"
He dragged her over to the bathroom and sat her down on a sofa next to a whirlpool.
"No. . .", she said when he began to clean the bleeding wound on her forehead. "I have to.", he answered quietly. She tried to move her head away but Blaine forced her to hold still.
"Shh. . .", he said. "Don´t move."
Around 20 minutes later Sebastian stopped his jaguar right before Blaine´s house. He quickly got out and headed to the door.
He rang. God. . . please let her be ok. . . please. . . He was really afraid now. What if she had got hurt seriously? Blaine. . . C´mon asshole. . . hurry up. . .
After a few minutes, which seemed like a lifetime to Sebastian, his old friend finally opened the door.
"What do you want?", Blaine asked quite unfriendly.
"What´s up your ass?" Sebastian asked back.
"Are you really asking me that?", he asked back. The next moment Sebastian felt Blaine´s right fist on his cheek. "What the hell you think you´re doing to Kathryn?", he screamed, shaking his head in disgust.
"Hey! I didn´t do anyting."
"'And the injuries? God, Valmont, have you gone completely insane? I understand that your angry. I mean, she really gave you a reason but you can´t just beat her up like that. She´s a woman for Christ´s sake!"
"Blaine, please let me explain, my father - "
"Shut up, asshole. I tell you, if you ever touch her again, I - "
"Hey!", Sebastian interrupted him again. "My father hit her, I dont know what the fuck she told you, but I certainly didn´t touch her in any way!"
"Lier!", Blaine yelled, "She was right, you´ve completely changed. God, Sebastian, she´s afraid of you, she doesn´t even dare to tell me that it was you who hit her."
"Yeah, because it´s the truth: i didn´t touch her!", he screamed back.
"Right, cause Edward would hit Kathryn. . . She told me the same story. . . But you know what?"
"What?"
"I bet you threatened her if she told anybody you´d kill her or something like that. God, Sebastian, you´ve turned a once confident girl into a complete wrack. Are you aware of that?"
"It´s her fault! She almost got me killed, Blaine –"
"Yeah, but she didn´t want that to happen."
"Oh yes, she did! Sorry Blaine, I just know her too well."
"Well. . .", he said more quiet, "Obviously you don´t."
"God, she´s just acting, Blaine."
"No, not this time, Sebastian, not this time. I had to make her sleep with heroin, otherwise she wouldn´t have agreed to sleep."
Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but after a few seconds he shut it again.
"Can I see her?", he asked qietly.
"I don´t think it would be good.", Blaine answered, his voice softened.
"Is she ok? Has she got hurt?"
"It was really your father who hit her, eh?"
"Yeah. . ."
"She got a terrible bleeding cut on her forehead, which doesn´t look good, but the rests gonna be ok, I think."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, pretty sure. Now – "
"Pretty sure or sure sure?"
"Sure sure.", he reasured him in a bored kind of a voice."Now, you have two options. Whether you come in and watch me while I´m eating my breakfast or you fucking drive to school now – ", he looked at his watch, "I´m sure goldilocks already waiting and wondering what could have happened to you."
Sebastian wanted to smack that mocking grin from his face.
"Don´t call her that.", he said, clenching his teeth.
His grin just got wider. "Kathryn was right. . . ", he mocked. "You´re fucking p-whipped."
"Shut up!"
He snickered at his reaction. "Oh. . . I bet Goldilocks would be upset if she heard you saying words like that. . .Go and get some manners, Valmont."
And Sebastian turned around and headed off to his jaguar like he was planning to do just that.
"Where have you been?", Annette asked him about an hour later between classes.
"Sorry, I overslept", he answered.
"You talked to Kathryn all night, right?", she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"No. . .", he said, which was the truth. "She wasn´t even at home, she´s at Blaine´s." Ok, this wasn´t true, but the Looking-Directly-Into-Her-Eyes- Thing while saying it worked pretty well.
He felt a little bad about lying to Annette, but he had no other choice. She wouldn´t have believed him otherwise, he was sure about that.
"So you tried to talk to her.", she said.
"No?"
"Yeah you did."
"No! What makes you think I did?"
"Well. . . otherwise you wouldn´t know that she wasn´t there. I´m not stupid, Sebastian."
"I didn´t say you´re stupid.", he defended himself.
"No, you didn´t. But you act like you think it."
"I dont think – "
"Oh, forget it, Sebastian. It´s ok. I understand. . . after all you two were very close and she´s your sister, so I guess it´s ok if you looked after her."
"I didn´t –", he tried to say.
"No, it´s really ok. Don´t worry.", she interrupted him.
"I – ", he began again but in that moment Mrs Trevor entered the classroom and he had to keep his mouth shut. (He had already been kept in by her 4 times and he wasn´t planning on staying in today.)
The days passed by where Sebastian didn´t hear anything about Kathryn. One evening, Annette had gone out to some charity thing where he "would be in the way", like she told him, so he stayed at home and watched TV.
Suddenly Tiffany entered the room.
"Hey Sebastian.", she greeted him friendy.
"Hey Tiffany.", he said flatly.
"So. . . ", she began and it seemed like she actually wanted a nice conversation with him, "What have you been up to, today?"
"Nothing. And you?", he answered bored.
"Oh I bought some new Prada shoes, wanna see?"
"No, thanks.", he answered again, his voice filled with complete boredom.
"Ok. . .", Tiffany said, apparently confused by his behaviour, "Have you seen your father?"
"No. Have you seen Kathryn?"
She was kind of surprised by this question, he could tell it from her eyes which focused on him like she wanted to kill him just by looking at him.
"No. Why?"
"Just curious. You know where she is?"
"No. Do I look like I´d care?", she snapped.
"Hey, just wanted to know.", he appeased her.
"If you see your father. . . Tell him. . . I´m at Mrs Caldwell´s ok?"
"K."
She grabbed a coat and wanted to leave the room but he called her back.
"Umm... Tiffany?"
"Yes?"
"If you see Kathryn, tell her I´m sorry."
"What?"
"Just tell her."
"If you say so.", she snapped and he knew pretty damn well that she wouldn´t tell Kathryn, if she´d actually see her, not even in her worst dreams, but it was worth a try.
He switched off the TV and went slowly to his room. He stopped at Kathryn´s door and opened it.
Everything looked just like she´d left it. He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling of her four-poster bed. Everything in here remembered him of her. He had to think of her smile, her voice, her way to talk, her movements and her smell. . . Yeah. . . Her smell. . . Kathryn smelled quite good. . . After Sensi, from Giorgio Armani. He loved that perfum and even if he hated to admit it, it smelled a hundred times better than all of Annettes perfums together. And even if she wore the same perfum, she wouldn´t still smell like Kathryn, he thought bitterly. When he caught himself thinking that he cursed. No, the thing with Kathryn was over now. She had hurt him and Annette and she wanted to kill him. She was a cold, soulless and heartless bitch and there was nothing he could do about it.
He got up, repeating these words for a hundred times in his head and slowly went out on Kathryn´s balcony. He watched the cars on the street and tried to bann Kathryn and everything which rememberd him of her out of his head.
"She´s a cold, heartless, fucking bitch. . . And a whore. . ." He thought again.
No. . . she´s not. . . The little voice he forcefully tried to ignore all those last days whispered again. She´s not and you know it. You just try to talk yourelf into believing this bullshit so you won´t miss her.
I´m gonna be happy with Annette, he told himself, confident he would be able to ignore the voice until the pain inside his heart, which kept holding on all the time, would vanish. I´m gonna be happy. Nothing´s gonna seperate us again. I love her, and she loves me and we´re going to be very happy. Yeah. We´ll marry and have plenty of children and I´ll be a happy father. I´m gonna study medcine and I´m gonna be happy.
He left Kathryn´s balcony and went back in, all the time trying to convince himself that he´d be happy with Annette. That everything would be ok.
He stopped before her desk and his eyes focused on a golden little bottle standing on a shelf above it. There it was. Sensi, from Giorgio Armani.
Without one second thought he grabbed it, shoved it into his pocket and left the room.