I WILL WAIT FOR YOU

"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life." – Oscar Wilde

Chapter 8: Waiting

For somebody who had just spent many years staring into a blinding and endless white, Pan got sick of the black very quickly. It seemed only more infinite, more foreboding, more desolate. From an infinite universe she could not find a single thought to hold on to. Nothing seemed to console her. Her father's words, while kind, seemed surprisingly empty to her without the caring smile to accompany them. As she rested her head for the night and lay locked in a perpetual insomnia she could sometimes imagine feeling Trunks alive. As if a thin thread between their hearts kept them connected. The idea kept her awake at night, but was discarded as quickly as possible, tossed aside to a sudden bout of training or a loud blast from the stereo.

Sleep turned into a sporadic event, chased and treasured when it would come. It was readily interrupted by a distant calling; visions of drowning in her fathers blood once more; thoughts of her entire family passed to another world without her. And there were the guilty pleasures – the dreams of Trunks. The pleasure was short lived. When she awoke she was shivering and feeling emptier than before. Sometimes amongst the hollow fear she could feel that threat give a gentle tug.

This stupid solidarity is sending my mind into madness, she thought bitterly. "There is no thread, no cord of darkness where spirits may meet." Saying it out loud made it that much more asinine and she seemed satisfied. It did seem likely that all she felt was her longing, hope distorting her perceptions of it.

Still the days before her seemed unbearable. She was lost in the storm without a port to hold on to...no Trunks to keep her thoughts straight. Insanity and lucidity passed through her on a daily basis, gripping her in her own nightmares.

All she could do was train, concentrating her newfound powers. Perhaps in her search for the Dragonballs she would be able to use this. Being in a battle had always focussed her – a form of extreme therapy. At moments her primary mission was only to find those moments of clarity, the resurrection of those passed on only a kickback of the peace of mind.

***

"Afternoon, Laura. How's it going?"

"Same story. Didn't find a single survivor today. It's just a slaughterhouse out there. I don't know how long it's been since we've actually found someone in a condition that we are able to help them."

"I know what you mean. Carlos came in earlier with an old woman that didn't seem to know which way was up. Nobody could find anything wrong with her other than the confusion, but a few hours later they went to check on her and she was dead."

Takeshi picked at the dirt idly, tossing small pebbles about randomly. "I don't think I'm going to go out searching tomorrow."

"Why not? They need all the hands they can get."

"What for?! I never fancied a career as an undertaker." With the intention of seeking solitude, Takeshi took to his feet and idly wandered past his friend.

"Come on, don't be like that. You've saved so many people."

Takeshi carried on walking.

"You know that chef guy you found woke up earlier today."

***

"Good Afternoon." The nurse's bright voice seemed vaguely inappropriate for Trunks' current disposition.

"Pan?" Trunks asked with a groggy undertone to his weak voice.

"Rest, there will be plenty of time to worry about such things later. You're lucky to be alive. Take this." She offered him a small cup of water.

With his increasing awareness Trunks realised that he was indeed very thirsty. He took the offered water and started to gulp it down.

The nurse lay a gently hand on his forearm. "Just sip it slowly. You don't want to throw it up again."

Trunks nodded.

As Trunks sat sipping the drink the nurse introduced herself. "I'm Sarah."

Trunks stopped drinking and looked up at her. "Trunks."

"Trunks. OK." She filed the name away in her head, matching it with his unusual physique.

Trunks quickly continued. "Have you seen my girlfriend, Pan Son. Is she around?" Trunks could almost feel the proverbial straws clutched in his hands.

"Your girlfriend's name is Pan?" she asked, sounding vaguely amused but also disappointed, although Trunks could not figure out why.

He nodded. "Yes, Pan Son. Do you know her?" Even in his weakened state his desperation was evident.

"I can't recall meeting anyone by that name, but I'll ask around for you."

Trunks took another sip. "Thank you" he breathed. He took in a deep breath and handed the empty cup back to the nurse. "It's really important that I find her."

"I'm sure it is." She smiled offering what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

Trunks suddenly sat up, fully erect. He looked around as if seeing for the first time. "Where am I?!" he cried.

Sarah instantly reacted, pushing him back down into the makeshift bed. "Shh... Lie down and I'll explain everything to you. Then you must promise to rest. You need to regain your strength. Please be quiet though. There are many others here who also need to sleep."

Trunks allowed himself to be laid out, slightly bemused by Sarah's concern for him, knowing that with his ancestry he was already far from weak. Although the world did seem to be closing in on him and drawing back in time with his breath. The ringing in his ears was also somewhat disconcerting. Rest seemed like a really good idea.

Watching the young man relax Sarah launched into an explanation, one that she had almost refined to a rehearsed speech.

***

From a distance the planet looked completely uninhabited, but as the ship drew closer Pan realised that there was civilisation scattered amongst the mountainous terrain. The few supplies she had managed to gather had begun to run out and it was almost an instant decision to quickly meet and greet with the community. In order to prevent any fear or misunderstanding Pan lowered the ship in an unpopulated clearing at the bottom of a shallow gully, intending to arrive in the closest village on foot.

She drifted up and out of the valley, her feet landing on the ground with a crunch. The rocks beneath her feet gave an unstable foundation, but she carried on, determined not to submit to the desire to float above it all. The two suns that both sat very high in the sky bore down on her quickly turning her face a light shade of pink, glistening with the preliminary sheen of sweat.

As she made her way she became aware of the wide range of animals. They looked at her with an almost knowing curiosity and she began to wonder if they were not the local sentient life forms. They kept a distance and hid well in their natural environment. But they were always there in the background, whether Pan remembered to see them or not. Had she not known of the Saiyan blood in her veins she might have feared the situation, but with her mind elsewhere the concepts of threat barely registered.

Had she not been so distracted by her thoughts, as she had frequently been lately, she might have noticed the subtle approach of a native. The dry dirt beneath his feet would not have been the give-away though as he moved with a familiarity of the land and an innate grace born of something that would seem more majestic and mystical than experience. What was so striking about his appearance was the tints of an earthly green mixed with his dark hair that perfectly matched his eyes. From a distance he began to trail Pan, quietly observing with an inherent curiosity.

Only moments later Pan reached the peak of a particularly high hill. As she scrabbled to her feet from her four limbs climbing posture her eyes fell on a great expanse of water. A lake, or maybe an ocean. It was a clear blue and beneath the two suns it appeared to take on an illumination of its own, like a second moon. With renewed energy and an added bounce to her step Pan began to slip and straggle her way towards the oasis.

For a brief moment she became aware of the wind blowing in her face, cooling the perspiration that had beaded on her forehead. The chill sent a shiver down her spine. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but in the moment - for the first time in a long time - she felt real. In a sweeping realisation she understood that her time in starch, unnatural environments had sent her a little mad. But now with rocks crunching painfully beneath her feat and sweat dripping down her back she could feel herself recovering. With the idea of seeing Trunks again still a worrying concept she drew strength from the fact that she loved him and he loved her. One could feign words, but the affection that lay behind his words was an almost tangible substance that she knew to be love. She smiled to herself, despite her discomfort and carried on towards the water; her moment of clarity over.

As she neared the water Pan noticed the rock particles becoming smaller, eventually giving way to sand which was a shining hot yellow. Her footprints became more apparent until she reached the waters edge. As the water washed past her feet it swept her footprints away. It was a shame, she mused, that her past could not be washed away so easily. The waves that washed ashore masked any true reflections in the water, but Pan stared into it as if expecting to see something.

And surprisingly enough she did.

A flash of luminous green caught her attention instantly. Spinning about on her heels she sought the source of the unusual occurence. Just as she was about to clock the event up to a trick of the light she heard a faint scrunch of dirt. Her senses kicked in and she noticed an unusually large shadow being passed out from both sides of a large rock.

Cautiously she crept towards it, wincing at the sound her feet made as she left the soft sand and her shoes hit the desert floor. Just as she was about to pounce a small deer like creature let out a bleat and emerged from behind the rock. "Mannix, no!" A young boy leapt out after it, attempting to catch the small animal. He failed and landed with a thud at Pan's feet.

He looked up at her and smiled nervously. "Hi, I'm Mowg."

Pan stared at him unsure exactly what to think. With him lying ungracefully at her feet, face in the dirt he hardly seemed a threat. She returned his introduction with a pseudo-smile.

Mowg watched his Mannix trot off to gnaw on a weedy plant. He surrendered to his awkward position and stood up, failing to brush himself off.

Pan smirked, suddenly trusting this person more than she normally would a stranger. He did not look dangerous, but he certainly looked very ridiculous. After a restrained giggle she answered. "I'm Pan."

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