Disclaimer: I will not bother with a disclaimer this time.
This filk is about an experiment who wants to know what is behind a mysterious door. Can you guess what's behind it? The answer is at the bottom of the last page.
(To the tune of "Behind the Green Door")
Midday, day with nothing good to do
Pure dead boring, feelin' kind of blue
Locked door, just what's hidden behind you?
---
I know there must be something
And it's really strange, behind the locked door
I've heard that it's a person
Who plays real weird games behind the locked door
I'd like to go inside
So I could find out what's behind the locked door
---
Someone said that he had just been there
Asked him, but I still couldn't win there
Refused to say just what was in there
---
Saw some nervous creature
Who was coming from behind the locked door
When I asked him 'bout it
He said "Don't try to go behind the locked door"
All I want to do is find just what is up behind the locked door
---
Midday, day with nothing good to do
Pure dead boring, feelin' kind of blue
Locked door, just what's hidden behind you?
Locked door, just what's hidden behind you?
---
Locked door!
Do you give up guessing? It turns out that the locked door is the door which Kolobos (Experiment 552) lives behind, and the narrating experiment is just a random one.
This has got to be the shortest piece I've ever written. On the other hand, this is a one-shot, so the quality of behind short should go without saying.
By the way, I want to write another song parody. It will be about most of the killing-machine experiments, but I won't mock them in any way. Instead, the song parody will just involve the descriptions of the experiments.
As an afterthought, I was working on the finishing touches to this, and then "Behind the Green Door" came on the radio! Isn't that eerie?