Disclaimer: I don't own any the Friends characters. They're too expensive for my $5 a week allowance to buy!
Summary: Standalone fiction, based on the song Remember Me This Way by Jordan Hill. Ross & Rachel story, Ross's point of view. Not much else to say, just read it!
-Remember Me This Way-
A year already. One year today, my heart was broken. I lost all that ever mattered to me. I never thought my heart could ache so much; even after all that our relationship had went through. We always had each other's backs, yet we never realized that we were truly meant to be together. We always had each other's friendship, no matter what. But there was more to 'us' then just friendship. There was history, a history that was full of joy, laughter, tears, and heartache. But we were just too blind to see it. We were friends and we thought that could be enough.
Every now and then..
We find a special friend..
Who never lets us down..
Who understands it all..
Reaches out each time we fall..
You're the best friend that I've found..
If only we would have known then how we would end up, together. I always knew in my heart that we would be together. There were so many signs, it was hard to ignore that we were each other's soul mate. Especially after Emma was born, that was when I really started considering giving 'us' a second chance. But she didn't see it the way I did. She still was afraid, afraid of getting hurt again. I still say we were on a break, but I had learned to not argue with her. I would never win that battle. When I found out Louis Vuitton was sending her to Paris, I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stepped on. I didn't want her to leave me. I loved her.
I know you cannot stay..
A part of you will never ever go away..
You're heart will stay..
As I ran through the airport terminal, searching for her, I was wishing I had listened to Phoebe in the first place. Why didn't I just tell her before she left? My heart skipped a beat when I saw her walking onto the plane. And I swear it stopped beating all together when she told me she was going to Paris anyways. I thought my life was just falling apart right in front of me and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it. 'I got off the plane' I heard her say as I turned around to see her standing in the doorway of my apartment. She was so beautiful. As we kissed, I wondered how I had ever let her go in the first place. But this time it is different. She is gone and I know she won't walk into my apartment, our apartment, ever again.
I'll make a wish for you..
And hope it will come true..
That life would just be kind..
To such a gentle mind..
And if you lose your way..
Think back on yesterday..
Remember me this way..
Ever since that night, we never left each other's side. Always together; we were connected by the hip. People said that our marriage would never last, that it would just be another divorce for me. But we were determined to prove them wrong; we would make our marriage last and keep our love strong. And we did. Never had our love been stronger. We truly were lobsters, as Phoebe put it. And the love was not just for us, but also for Ben, Emma, and Erika, who was born a year after our wedding. Our apartment was always full of love and energy. The apartment hasn't been the same without her.
I don't need eyes to see..
The love you bring to me..
No matter where I go..
And I know that you'll be there..
Forever more a part of me, you're everywhere..
I'll always care..
Every day I wonder why this happened. Why her? What had she done? I will lie in bed at night, after the kids are all asleep, and I will wish I could have done something differently to change what happened. I know I couldn't stop it, it wasn't my fault the guy was drunk. But I wish, somehow, something could have been done. I feel like I could have protected her. Maybe if I wouldn't have gotten her that car, she would have rode the bus or subway or taken a taxi. Then maybe it would be different. I know it's the past, and there's no changing the past, but if I could change one thing, just one, I would in a heartbeat. I just feel so helpless sometimes, wishing it were different. I try to stay strong, for the kids' sake. But I'm not. I can't believe I made it this far. So many times, I have wanted to just curl up into a ball in a corner and cry.
I'll make a wish for you..
And hope it will come true..
That life would just be kind..
To such a gentle mind..
And if you lose your way..
Think back on yesterday..
Remember me this way..
Why did this have to happen? To her, she didn't deserve this. No one does. She should be able to see Emma, her first-born, start kindergarten this year. She should have been able to see Ben, who was like a son to her even though he wasn't her own, go to his very first high school dance this past school year. She should be able to come home from work, like she did every day, and see the smile on Erika's face when she opened the door. She should have been allowed more time, more. She probably does see all these things happening, but that's different then actually experiencing them. She shouldn't just see it happening; she should feel it, watching her kids grow up, being there through these events.
And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you..
I'll be standing by your side and all you do..
And I won't ever leave..
As long as you believe..
You just believe..
Everything happens for a reason, I've been told that many times. I still say that's just a cliché, but maybe it is true, all though I have yet to find the reasoning behind this. When I got the phone call, my legs went weak. I couldn't think straight. My heart wanted to get there to be with her, but my head told me it was too late. I ran to her anyways, hoping there was still a chance. 'She's gone,' the doctor told me, as I stood in the waiting room with my little sister, her best friend, Monica, and Chandler, my best friend. I needed them both there; I couldn't handle this alone. All of them have been so great, helping me with the kids, trying to make my life easier, but it only gets harder each day. Going through life, knowing that I will never get to smell her hair again. Knowing that I will never get to hold her hand again. Knowing that I will never get to kiss her ever again. Knowing the only thing I can still do is love her. As I started to stand up and walk out, I looked back one more time. It was dark but I still knew exactly what it said: Loving mother, wife, and friend. Never will we stop loving or will we forget Rachel Gellar.
I'll make a wish for you..
And hope it will come true..
That life would just be kind..
To such a gentle mind..
And if you lose your way..
Think back on yesterday..
Remember me this way..
Remember me this way..
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Author's Note: Ok this is my first Friends fic, hopefully the first of many. I really love this song and was trying to find a way to base a story around it. That's when this idea came to my mind. I hope you guys liked it, please review and lemme know what you think!! I just kinda threw it together, but I think it's pretty good! But it is my story so I mean, what do you expect me to think! LOL! Anyways, R&R!!
lilmisswriter11
