Sousuke didn't notice any discomfort as he huddled behind a transformer shed at the rear of Jindai High School.
The parka, boots, and tinted goggles that had served him well under Arctic conditions were overkill in the tamer city environs. As the wind caused the tall naked trees to sway and bend, he thought back to times when he and the SRT had made their way across desolate terrain, their mission in the balance.
Usualy, he did not stop to think how strange it was that such things made up the majority of his teenage memories
The situation was not an emergency, and might not even qualify for 'drastic'. But, he couldn't be certain. The matter was something outside of his personal experience. He needed Sgt. Major Mao's assistance. There was no telling what he would face, and how costly any wrong move might prove. A good soldier doesn't rush into battle unprepared, or retreat before the battle is lost.
Melissa would know what to do.
It was difficult turning the knobs on the radio with his survival mittens on, so it took a while to dial in the correct frequency. Moments of static interrupted the signal, but he finally reached the com operator aboard the TDD-1. The deck officer paged the Sgt. Major for him.
Sousuke was troubled. Deeply so. He'd rather be closed inside an M9 or Arbalest, hacking his way through the exuberant underbrush of some Central American hotspot, with heavily armed junta members hot on his heals. He'd prefer to be fighting his way across a burning desert, huge waves of sand blinding his sensors and clogging up the joints on his Arm Slave. He knew what to do in those situations.
He hadn't taken great notice of Kaname's behavior at the beginning of school that morning. She had been somewhat nervous, and flashed a bit of anger, but neither of those characteristics had been out of the ordinary. The tone in her voice when she left the room had spoken of disappointment, but he was no stranger to that emotion in her either.
Then, he had spotted the card. It had been sitting in the middle of the classroom floor. His name was on it. His immediate thought was to detonate it at a safe location, fearing some type of trap. But, after more than a dozen similar episodes in the past, he was beginning to show more restraint. No doubt such lax behavior was an open invitation to tragedy, but he needed to make some concessions to his role as a high school student.
The logical conclusion was that Kaname had dropped it accidentally, as it was located where she had been standing. Naturally, the proper move might then be to return it to her, as there might well have been some significance to her presenting it personally. But, taking note of her actions in a different light, he wondered if she was somehow uncomfortable doing just that. And, as clueless as he was, he still had an idea what might happen if he handed the card to Kaname, and it had actually come from another young lady.
In each class that day, he observed Kanmae's reactions. She was on edge. At times, she even looked frantic. Was his failure to make any commentary about the card a problem? She also spent time between classes looking under furniture, behind counters, and in assorted nooks and crannies about the building and the school grounds. Did she suspect some kind of clandestine activities? Or, was she merely looking for the card?
It was not an idle thought. He should consider all possibilities. Her safety was his primary concern. Had she caught wind of some plot that she didn't tell him about? Might she doubt his ability to handle matters without causing some form of catastrophic outcome? Could the card actually be some form of farewell address, informing him that she no longer wanted his his protection? That thought had brought him up short. Like a small dog with a big attitude, the possibility fastened itself to him and wouldn't let go until he acted.
He had opened the card. It was from Kaname. At first, he didn't know what to make of the writing inside:
Sousuke---
I would be honored if you could accompany me to dinner on the night of December 24th. If I may be so bold, I have made reservations at Fujimama's and for the Belles Des Belles hotel.
Yours expectantly,
Kaname
He had been sorely puzzled. It was kind of Kaname to offer to buy him dinner, even though he was quite content with the occasional meals that she cooked for him. But, what would they need a hotel reservation from? No matter what hour they finished dining, a taxi could take them home in decent time. The unnecessary expenditure of money had him conjuring all sorts of shady scenarios. What was Kaname involved in? Might she need his help in getting out of some sordid or tricky situation?
Then for some reason, he remembered Kyouko's question: 'So, Kaname...have you made any plans for Christmas Eve?' Mizuke had added an inquiry of her own, before Kaname could 'Something... romantic... hmmmm?' Kaname's response had been rushed and somewhat excessive. 'Romantic? Me? AH HAH HAH HA HAH!'. He had told her on numerous previous occasions that loud laughter was an environmental hazard. She had had struck him repeatedly the time he borrowed a decibel meter to prove his point.
Christmas Eve...
Something romantic...
December 24th was Christmas Eve...
Sousuke had been stunned. He somehow felt personally at risk, even dangerously so. The last time he had felt anything like this had been the time he stopped with his foot just inches above a well-concealed anti-personnel mine.
Kaname? Him? Something romantic? Romantic? How? Why? For what purpose? She had not made any obvious overtures regarding dating in the past. In fact, half of the time he couldn't be certain whether or not she hated him! There a big difference between hating and dating. Or, so he surmised.
Dating? The very thought made him stiffen. He must be jumping to conclusions. That is a dangerous habit in a soldier. But, he also knew how dangerous ignorance could be to an operative.
Yes, it might be possible that she wanted to arrange a tryst with someone else and needed him present to provide a cover story. Maybe it was a married man or a famous politician. Could it be someone from another school, a boy she was willing to share Jindai secrets with? Not a teacher!
None of that made any sense. Kaname was not like that. Realizing that such possibilities didn't likely exist, he began to sweat heavily. His heart raced at great speed, even though he had not been exerting himself. He felt dizzy, and his breathing was labored. He could not afford to fall ill before he solved this mystery.
Images from his past flashed before his eyes, raising his stress level even higher. He pictured scenes from a movie Kurz had forced him to watch once, a romantic film with very little clothing. That was replaced by a vision of Kaname standing in her mother's kimono. He remembered getting brief glimpses of her body behind the screen in the Nurse's office.
"No! Those thoughts serve no purpose. Such feelings get soldiers in trouble. They do not aid them in any way..."
For some reason, he involuntarily recalled how it felt to have Kaname in his arms during various rescue situations. The scent of her perfume filled his mind, causing him to look to see if she was actually there. The look in her eyes, it had confused him more than once. At times, there seemed to be openness and sharing, often followed by disappointment for some reason. He recalled the sound of her voice during their quiet moments alone. Certain notes and inflections caused his throat to tighten. There was a discomfort in parts of his body he did not wish to acknowledge. "This does not make any sense. A piece of paper should not distract a Specialist in this manner. I may need a medical examination..."
He remembered watching another movie, an instructional video from an Australian sheep breeding program that Kurz gift-wrapped for his birthday one year. Befuddled, he had watched the documentary, trying to determine what secret military value it might hold. His long-haired squad mate told everyone at the dinner table that night that Sousuke had been watching a How-To movie. Melissa had to explain the joke to him, after she had Kurz wash every inch of the Arm Slaves in the holding bay.
A brief image of Kaname dressed only in a skimpy wool coat passed before his eyes. Where had that come from? Had the solution on the card been a hallucinogen? Was it the center of some plot after all? Sousuke took his own pulse. He checked his capillary refill time. There were no irregularities in his heartbeat. A brief neurological exam failed to show any glaring deficits or hyperreactivity. He was well oriented to person, place, and time. There were no obvious visual field defects or disturbances of cerebellar function.
Yes. His approach was correct. He needed to talk with someone. His reactions might indicate a tendency that could spell disaster in future missions. If he were subject to some inappropriate psychological or physical condition, it would be best to have it looked into as soon as possible. On the other hand, if the card did indeed have something to do with dating... any kind of boy and girl things... he would definitely need to speak to somebody!
His arms seemed to be experiencing a slight tremor. Strange. He would need to sneak into the infirmary and borrow a thermometer. He might also see if they had any sterile saline solution. It might be prudent to start an IV. His mouth was incredibly dry.
He had debated who to contact. It had not taken him long to run down the list of possibilities. It couldn't be anyone at the school. Even he understood the propensity for gossip, and the devastating effects it could have. It could not be Kurz! Not unless he wanted the issue discussed throughout Da Danaan, the Mithril base, and bars throughout Southeast Asia. Tessa? No! That would be the last person on earth he would bring up such a subject with. The Captain's behavior around him was another point of confusion.
Kurz had suggested he watch the sheep movie with Tessa. He hadn't. Just the same, a vision of her in a lamb costume began to materialize. He struck himself hard on the side of the head, chasing it away just in time. Tessa? The last person? Negative! Sousuke swallowed as best he could. That would be Cmdr. Mardukas. He had to make certain that the Commander never had reason to suspect some incapacity or disability. Never. Not ever. Perhaps Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. His judgment proved repeatedly sound. Though he was not exactly a father figure or friend, the Lt. Cmdr. often looked out for Sousuke's best interest. No, it would be best not to raise any doubt in the SRT's commander.
The answer was obvious. He should have settled on it straight out. Sgt. Major Mao. She was not someone inclined to go running to their commanding officers. It was in her best interest to have all of her squad members in peak physical and mental condition. In addition, she was a woman. There was a saying 'send a thief to catch a thief.' Perhaps a woman was the best person to ask about Kaname's possible intentions and expectations… unless there were certain secrets that females were beholden to keep privy.
What other options did he have?
He shivered a bit, waiting for Melissa to get on the line. Fortunately, no one else was outside braving the icy winds.
"Urzu-7, this is Urzu-2, do you read me? Over."
Sousuke felt relieved. In fact, he hadn't felt that much relief since the time a Mithril copter had appeared overhead, snatching him out of a dangerous firefight in a drug runner's compound, seconds before the charges he had planted blew the group of buildings sky high. "Urzu-2, this is Urzu-7. I read you."
"Sousuke! What is your situation. The radio officer said your message was urgent. Is the school under attack? Has Kaname been kidnapped or injured?"
"Uh..."
"Sousuke, are you injured? What is going on? Urzu-7, answer! If you are in too much danger to answer, I will start emergency proceedings immediately." Melissa went on to tell an unidentified officer to locate Captain Testarossa.
"Uh..."
"Dammit! There must be something wrong. Hold on Sousuke. We'll get help there as soon as..." The Sgt. Major was clearly concerned. Sousuke interrupted her.
"No." He spoke louder than he had intendfed, having to force the words out. "It is not necessary."
"What? Repeat, Urzu-7. Come on Sousuke!" Her voice was insistent.
"The situation is urgent, but it...uh...is not an... uh... emergency."
"How's that? You pulled me away from a planning session, mister. This had better be important. Sousuke, you don't want to move ahead of Kurz on my shit list!" Melissa sounded like she was quickly growing angry.
"Ummm..."
"SAGARA! Get to it. That's an order." The volume of Melissa's shout caused feedback I the connection.
"Sir, yes sir!" Sousuke actually stood and snapped to attention. "This morning, Miss Chidori was acting strangely. Her behavior has grown more suspicious with every passing moment. Then, I discovered the item..."
"What item, Sousuke? A bomb? Listening device? Some evidence that she might have been blackmailed or drugged? Just what kind of threat do you suspect?" Melissa sounded very business-like
"I am uncertain. That is why I have contacted you. She dropped a card. It had my name on it. I read it. I do not understand the situation and do not wish to compromise my mission. I needed the advice of my superior." Sousuke suddenely wondered it it was right to call.
There was no reply. One minute passed. Then two. The line was still open, and Sousuke could hear faint sonar pings in the background. "Sgt. Major?" Still no answer. "Sgt. Major Mao, are you still there?"
"A card, Sousuke?" Melissa's voice was totally flat. Sousuke had never heard her quite that deadpan before. "A… f-cking… card?"
"Affirmative! With a wax seal, a ribbon, and an inorganic substance most likely representing perfume." There was no reply, again. Sousuke could barely make out the sound of something being crumpled. There was a male voice in the background: "But that can was full, Sgt. Major Mao."
Melissa's reply was terse and razor-edged, but not directed at Sousuke. "I know that!" The silence returned. All Sousuke heard was breathing, the kind that all operatives were taught to use in stress reduction. "OK, Sousuke. Let's forget that you called me on a secure line to inform me that you got a card. A card. What exactly is the problem?" Melissa sounded much calmer, almost personable.
"Kaname invited me to dinner on December 24th. To a fancy restaurant. She also mentioned reservations at a hotel called Belles Des Belles."
Sousuke heard a quick in rush of breath. There was chuckling. That was followed by out and out laughter. "Wooo Hooo! What Weber wouldn't give to hear this one!" The Sgt. Major had done a complete turn around. She now sounded cheerful. Too much so.
"Sgt. Major?" Sousuke felt wired for some reason. What was so funny? Just what had he stepped in this time?
"I can see why you called now, Sousuke. I've been to Belles Des Belles before, and any number of places like it. Has anyone explained to you what type of hotel it is?" Melissa's voice sounded rich with anticipation.
"Negative! Is it a meeting place for terrorists or operatives? Could this be some kind of a trap?" Sousuke began to be concerned.
"Yes. It could indeed be some kind of trap..." Her voice was practically ecstatic. That was an inappropriate response for a potentially dangerous situation. "But not the type that you would know anything about, Sousuke.
"But Kaname..."
"The Belles Des Belles is a Love Hotel, Sousuke." Melissa paused, wishing she had a video feed of her subordinate. "It is a meeting place for couples and lovers. The kind of place to go to spend time together, away from the cramped rooms and thin walls of their apartments and work place."
"Uh..."
"They have a bed, and all sorts of amenities. There may even be some kind of theme in the décor and the furniture. The better places are in high demand, so reservations need to be made weeks in advance, especially for Christmas Eve."
"Uh..."
"You do realize that Christmas Eve is a night for couples to indulge their affection and express their amorous and lustful feelings?" Melissa was practically purring.
"Uh..."
"It would seem that a certain blue-haired girl has invited you to spend some time alone with her at a romantic hideaway." Inexplicably, Melissa muted the channel momentarily, right after she began chortling uncontrollably.
Sousuke dropped his handset, and then needed to remove his mitten to pick it up again.
"Urzu-7, are you still there?"
"Affirmative." Sousuke's voice was higher in pitch than before.
"At ease, Sousuke. At ease. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at you." The sound of Melissa's voice clearly said she was fighting not to laugh again. "You're absolutely priceless, do you know that? But, I wouldn't have you any other way."
"Sgt. Major?"
"You are a mean man in a fight, and were that way before you even needed to shave. There are few men as skilled in an Arm Slave. Kalinin says that you are one of the best operatives that Mithril has. You're a fine comrade. And…" Melissa paused. "You're more clueless than a boy in middle school!" There was humor and affection in Melissa's voice.
"I see." Sousuke sounded somewhat dejected. It was not the first time that someone had clued him in on just how clueless he was. It was painfully obvious to him, even without anyone's observations.
"You should keep one thing in mind though, Sousuke. If anyone knows that, it's Kaname. She still sent you the card. You two have been through a lot, you know. Even if you haven't realized it, you have changed in a lot of ways since you've spent time with her."
It was Sousuke's time to be silent. Melissa's words had definitely done something. He no longer felt like a spring that had been wound too tightly. But, the whole concept of someone taking an interest in him was too new, too foreign. Romantic entanglements had never been allowed aboard the TDD-1, Mithril bases, or training camps. For the past few years, when he was not on board a submersible or stationed in some camp, he was at various points throughout the globe, involved in a mission. Much of his free time had been spent hiking, fishing, reading, or working out... alone.
"I was not trained in dating. The stories that Sgt. Weber and others tell never make much sense to me. Such things did not happen amongst the youth of Afghanistan. Most marriages were arranged by parents. Curfew for girls was 7:00 pm. On the streets, I was not someone who would have been acceptable, even if I had been old enough to be considered."
Truth be told, he had no interest in girls whatsoever in his earliest days alone. Few boys his age did. Besides, survival was his top priority. There had been no opportunity for companionship of any kind. That came later. He learned that there are things you might see, and might even come to want, that you should never hope for, and would never have chance to touch. "In mujahadeen service, the women of ease all laughed at my age, and no man would introduce his daughters. I was a warrior, nothing more. What urges or feelings awakened in me… they were… ignored or put down."
"I'm sorry, Sousuke." Melissa's voice was deep and troubled. "I shouldn't have made light of things. It's easy to forget what you've been through." She thought a moment more. "Do you think poorly of yourself because of all that?" Her voice was almost too quiet to hear.
"I... I do not know. I am a soldier. As long as it does not affect my performance in battle, I suppose it is not a problem." Sousuke's voice was emotionless, robotic.
His answer had not been completely honest. The fact had not escaped Sgt. Major Mao. "I think you're wrong, Sousuke. You are a soldier, but that is not all that you are. It's what you do. Men or women who repress their feelings and emotions can often make superb fighters... for a while. Sooner or later, they run into trouble. I know that all too well. It's why I had to make a change. It's how I ended up in Mithril. I was almost too late." There was an unmistakable sadness in her voice.
"When I am told to fight, I fight. When I need to kill, I kill. In between, I simply live. I do not know what I want. I do not know what to do. Can you tell me what I should do?" Sousuke's voice bubbled up from deep within his soul, the plea of a young boy looking for someone to play a role his parents would have, were they still alive today.
Melissa wished she could give Sousuke the peace he sought and the knowledge he needed. But, those were things he had to find for himself. All she could do was offer advice. "There are no easy answers, Sousuke. But, this is not a life or death situation. Your value as a person is not at risk. But, your effectiveness as a professional may suffer if you remain confused. All that you really have to worry about are you heart and your pride. All that I can do is make a suggestion."
"Sergeant Major?"
"I know it's Tessa's spiel, but when we talk like this, you can call me Melissa. It's OK. I won't report it, and I promise not to kick upside the head or punch you below the belt. I'll take it out on Kurz instead. How's that?"
"Acceptable. Melissa. What is your advice?"
"Ask yourself some questions. Be honest with your answers. Don't be afraid of any truth you may realize. Make sure you follow the same path you do in battle---be willing to take chances, if the goal is worth attaining. Decide for yourself what you want, paying no attention to your official mission objectives. Pay attention to Kaname. She will let you know if you are doing well or not. Trust me, she will." Melissa laughed. "Listen to me. I sound like a mother hen or a toothless grandma. Shit!"
"What kind of questions should I ask?" Sousuke rubbed his gloved hands together, holding the communicator against his ear with his shoulder and tilted head.
"You have risked your life many times for Miss Chidori, haven't you? Ask yourself if you would do the same thing if she was no longer your professional responsibility, and under what circumstances you would do it. Take it a step further, and ask yourself if you would do the same if you were ordered not to, your career in jeopardy were you to disobey your commands."
"I see." Sousuke already knew the answer. He had never looked at things that way before.
"You spend a lot of time around her, too. Would you want to do that if you were discharged from Mithril, and where given the chance for a relatively normal life. How would you feel instead, if Tessa told you tomorrow you had to leave, never to return?"
"I…"
"Listen to me. After you've done that, remove all thoughts of missions, duty, obligation, and threats from your mind. Think nothing about vigilance, responsibilities, professional conduct, and that kind of crap. Then, ask yourself how you feel when she's near. What do you feel like when she smiles… when she speaks kindly to you… when parts of her body catch your attention..."
"But..."
"Sousuke, is there something you want to deny!" Melissa's voice snapped like a whip. It was her Drill Sergeant persona again.
"Uh..."
"SAGARA!" That shout caused more feedback than before.
"Negative, Sergeant Major. No."
"Good. There's hope for you yet. Tell Kaname I said that, too. Where was I? Ask yourself how you feel when she shows interest in another guy… when you think she might hate you… when your mistakes make her cry or run away… when her eyes look tender. When she teases you… everything."
"I see." Sousuke thought that he did.
"Simple, right?" Melissa laughed, and then sobered quickly. "It might not come naturally, Sousuke. But, I will guarantee it will prove useful, one way or another. It doesn't matter if you find you would be ideally suited as a gigolo, or belong tucked behind the walls of some musty old monastery. All you need to do is find what feels true to your own heart. There are no right or wrong answers, got that? There is only one way to find out whether or not Kaname might be the girl for you."
"But..."
"Trust me in this, Sousuke. It's something you need to find out, one way or another. There is one thing worse than taking a chance and making a mistake... it's letting something good slip by without even trying."
It took a while before Sousuke was ready to answer. For a few long moments, the time between each beat of his heart felt like an eternity. "I will do as you recommend, Melissa."
"Good. I..." Melissa stopped in mid-sentence. Sousuke could hear a short conversation with someone else. "I've been informed that I must immediately return to the meeting. Accordingly, if you call me 'Melissa' again before I end transmission, I will present your balls to you on a string. You can offer them to Kaname as a corsage, if you like. Do I make myself clear!" There was still a hint of levity in her growl.
"Affirmative."
"Carry on, Urzu-7. Wait." Melissa sounded serious. "Before I leave, do you want me to have Kurz call you with some advice?" She was just joking,
"N-O-O-O!"
"Urzu-2, signing off." Sousuke thought that he heard laughter before the transmission terminated.
He looked at the school building as if it were the lair of some great beast. He took out the card and held it in his hand. Was it his sword? The Holy Grail? Or an invitation to join the creature for dinner, knowing full well who was on the menu?
He shook his head. There were questions to ask and answers to find. He would need to approach Kaname with a reply. That is, if he could get his feet moving again. He practiced saying 'Yes,' just in case that was the answer he settled on. It would probably be better if his response were audible. Maybe he should bring pencil and paper just in case.
Did Kaname know sign language?