Disclaimer: I own nothing you may or may not recognize. Characters are from RFR, I don't own them.
Rating: PG13, just in case
Pairing: Travis/Lily eventually
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, they truly do encourage me. J O.K. anybody ready for a little TRILY? Not that much, you know, kind of like that frustrated anticipation you get after opening those old-fashioned glass bottles of ketchup. And NO, just like the ketchup beating it out of me won't make it happen any faster. J Ready to time travel? Check your flux-capacitors and set the date to…sophomore year!
Because I Know You
Chapter Six: Stuck in the Middle
For Travis, time had never moved more slowly. He had known Ray was going to make his move; he had practically pushed Ray to do it. Intellectually, he knew Lily would accept, especially after he had pushed her away, but his heart suffered anyway. When he had first seen them together he'd nearly lost it. He was completely surprised by the emotions that ran through him: anger, hurt, envy, and such an all-encompassing sadness that he'd wondered how he would survive.
He spent the summer in the studio either organizing or mixing tracks. He recorded some of his own mixes simply because he'd never done it before. He also traveled frequently with his parents; the less time he spent wallowing in negativity, the better off he would be. All that moving about helped him to focus inward, to be more centered. He'd returned to Roscoe determined to be the friend he'd set out to be.
He'd even helped Lily produce a second single, although this time he included Ray and Robbie in the process. It actually turned out better than the first. Ray had a pretty decent ear and gave vital information on what he thought "the people" would like. Robbie had hidden talents in producing graphic arts and photo manipulation. Lily's CD cover was not just a picture but an amazing compilation of color, script, and photography. Travis had never been more glad that the foursome's friendship had survived.
There was only one unfortunate drawback. His feelings for Lily had never wavered. Her relationship with Ray had brought out her softer side. She'd even brought him "homemade" soup when he'd gotten sick. At least it was her version of homemade. "Travis, I brought the can from home, then I made it." He treasured that memory. She'd brought him soup, tissues, and a newly released anime DVD. The best part had been that she stayed to watch; he spent two glorious hours with just Lily, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him.
He realized how much he'd let his resolve slip when Ray stopped by his locker one afternoon.
"Yo, Swami!"
He continued to adjust the belongings in his locker to find the correct books for his next class. "What's up, Ray?"
Ray smiled brilliantly. Travis absentmindedly thought that Ray had a career either in television or as a spokesperson for whitening toothpaste. Ray continued jovially, "Just wanted to say hello. You know, share a little quality time with my talented brethren."
Travis smirked, "What do you want, Ray?"
Ray shook his head, "Swami, it's just plain eerie when you do that." He shifted his weight. "I need your help. I want to do something really special for Lily this Valentine's Day. You know, the perfect pitch."
At those words, Travis froze. He'd felt thrown back in time to that day in the studio. When he finally turned around Ray seemed oblivious to the tension. He hoped his voice did not betray him. "What did you have in mind?" Ray filled him in and Travis agreed to help. It really was a brilliant idea. Lily was going to love it. He was ashamed of his jealousy, but he would put his best into it. For Lily.
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The summer had flown by for Lily, as had the first part of her sophomore year. Her fear in losing Ray's friendship had been unfounded. On the other hand, the romance didn't seem much different. Granted, she was not the one to ask when it came to undying passion but she thought her emotions would have differed somehow, perhaps intensified. She was enjoying the frequent transgression of conduct parameters and the confidence those physical explorations gave her, but her feelings for Ray did not seem to increase accordingly. This worried her; she was somewhat ashamed to admit that if she were to complete a pro/con list, one of her main reasons for being with Ray was the sense of relief. Relief that she did not have to bother with looking for "someone." Relief that the "firsts" Ray had mentioned could be shared with someone she trusted with her life. She would never embarrass herself with Ray.
Ray's response to the change surprised her too. She had become accustomed to being the center of his universe. He relaxed somewhat after they'd dated for a few months. He still seemed to want to impress "the girls." He never outright flirted with anyone but he would instigate and prolong any behavior that would allow him to bask in their limelight. Perhaps even more odd was that this did not make her jealous. She'd remembered Ray saying he needed someone who would "fight" for him. What did it say about their "fairytale love" if neither of them felt that attachment?
Maybe she could slyly convince Robbie to do a show about "love" on RFR. He seemed to have his fair share of crushes, namely one elusive Cougar Radio DJ. She thought he might like some insight as well about how to tell if you are really in love. None of their close friends had been in lasting relationships so she had to cast about for unbiased information. Of course, she could always ask her mother, but that had repercussions she did not want to own up to just yet.
She looked at herself in the mirror, pleased with the results. She had actually curled her hair into those loose tumbling wild waves that were all the rage in the shampoo ads. She hoped Ray appreciated it because she was never doing it again. Her lack of experience with a curling iron had left her with a couple of burns on her playing hand. Whoever thought of styling hair by wrapping it around a molten hot metal rod was a sadomasochist.
Ray had hinted at big surprises for Valentine's Day. Her gift for him left her feeling somewhat nervous after Ray's big buildup regarding his gift for her. She had taken a digital picture of him, scanned it, and had the local copy shop put it on a cardboard backing. Audrey helped her draw different uniforms and outfits for it, which she'd also taken to the shop and copied onto glossy paper then carefully cutout. He could be a baseball player for the Toronto Blue Jays or a quarterback for the New York Giants. Her personal favorite was the extreme outfit of an Olympic skier, funky aerodynamic helmet included. She had a funny feeling that her gift was not "romantic" enough, but that just led her back to the imbalance of emotions between herself and Ray. She decided to just enjoy tonight and worry later.
She arrived at Mickey's only five minutes late. Ray was sitting on one of the sofas holding another boldly wrapped and very large package. He definitely subscribed to the "bigger is better" theory. His knee was bobbing nervously just as it had the day he gave her the "Book of Firsts." She smiled nostalgically as she approached, "Hey Ray. Happy Valentine's Day!" He rose to greet her and his mouth fell open as he took in her appearance.
"Wow! Lily, you look fantastic!"
She felt relieved that her efforts weren't for nothing. "Thanks. Um, you can close your mouth now Ray. Molars are not attractive." He smiled at her jab.
He kissed her sweetly. "Can't help it, Lily, you really look amazing tonight. So what'll it be? Gifts or food?"
"You don't waste time do you? Let's eat first, you know, save the best for last?"
He grinned boyishly, "Have you been peeking? You know, it is the best, Lily, if I do say so myself."
They spent the next hour sharing a pleasant meal and Lily was beginning to wonder what she had been concerned about. She really enjoyed being with Ray why overanalyze it?
"Present time!" he announced.
They moved to the nearest sofa and she asked, "Who's first?" She shouldn't have been surprised when he shouted, "Me! Me!" He opened his gift and genuinely liked it. She had to clear her throat to get him to quit fiddling with all the shiny uniforms. He looked confused until he realized she was waiting, "What? … Oh! Here it is, Lil, you're gonna love it!"
She opened the box and pulled away the protective tissue. Inside were her CD's professionally framed to look like those awards given to artists whose work had gone Gold or Platinum. She was moved. He had taken her accomplishments and showcased them handsomely. She reached for him and kissed him soundly. He pulled back, "That's not all, Lil." She looked again in the box after removing the frame. It was a cover letter for a demo … her demo. He had prepared a respectable package to go out to recording labels. There was also a list of all the places it would be sent. She was astounded. Ray did this? By himself? She didn't think so.
Ray interrupted her thoughts, "All it needs is your approval and signature and the world is yours."
She looked again at the contents. Ray, while smart and witty, was not capable of such articulate writing. This had "Travis" written all over it. Who else would know the correct way to frame the CD and the contacts for the recording labels? She blushed, thinking of how much effort he had put into a gift for her even if she was receiving it from Ray. "Thanks, Ray. It's really wonderful. Do you mind if I wait on signing this? I don't know if I'm quite ready to be a superstar. I really appreciate the support you've always shown me."
"No problem. It's the best, isn't it? You love it?" He was nodding his head emphatically.
"I love it, Ray, I really do."
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The next night she was actually spending alone. She had intended to clean out her closet but ended up daydreaming on her bed, staring at the framed CDs. Her thoughts would float from scenario to scenario. Rock star. Songwriter. Grammy winner. As she was leafing through all the contents again she began to notice something. Her first single's cover had listed Travis Strong as producer. All of the information in her demo packet left out that vital statistic: the letter, the demo, even the newly minted copies of both singles. She bolted upright, "What the…." She rifled through her desk until she found exactly what she wanted, fuming as she punched up an online address on her PC. A few minutes later the printer whirred and she almost ripped the paper when it appeared in the out tray. She grabbed her jacket and flew out of the house, intent on maintaining her anger until she got there. She knew he would be there, he was always there.
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Travis was once again, mixing his tracks, cleaning them up or making the tempo faster or slower. Travis was caught off guard and jumped out of his skin when the studio door was flung with such force that it clanged against the outside of the building. Lily stormed inside, "Travis, what is this?" She held out the demo packet, shaking it fiercely.
"Oh. You don't like it? I thought it was a great idea, Ray asked me to help him."
Lily fired back at him. "You know damn well I like it. I love it. There is just one teensy problem."
He flushed hotly at her statement. He chastised himself. She loved the gift, you idiot, the gift Ray gave her, not you. He calmly responded, "What exactly is the matter with it, Lily?"
"Your name, Travis!"
"Pardon?"
"Your name is no where on this information. WE worked on this together, Travis! Or are you ashamed of it now?"
Wow, he wasn't expecting that. "It's your accomplishment, Lily. I don't need any glory."
She was stalking him now. Tiny but determined steps brought her directly in front of him. "Yeah, yeah, I remember, no personal glory, no monetary gains. But I've got your number Travis. Here."
She thrust the paper from her printer at him. "What's this?"
"Your half of the money." He was about to interrupt her again so she pushed him down into the nearest chair. Her hand was on his chest, directly above his heart. "That, my dear Travis, is an investment in your beloved karma. An online donation was made in your name to the local charity that purchases musical instruments for children whose parents can't afford them. Change the information Travis. Or I'm not signing the letter."
She left in as big a flurry as she had arrived. He sat stunned for a moment, fiddling with the paper. He looked at it. It truly was an official receipt. He smiled widely. Lily really did know him and it felt fantastic.
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The next few weeks passed as they always did. Lily was still dating Ray, Kim was still blowing off Robbie, and Travis was still spending his free hours in the studio. He had dutifully corrected the demo packet and returned his name to the credits. His emotions were starting to get the better of him lately, though. He spent even more time meditating, trying to suppress his desire and attachment. He had not realized that his "noble" action of so long ago could continue to cause him pain. Then again he hadn't thought he would fall in love with Lily either. He had finally admitted that to himself, he just couldn't do anything about it. Back to square one, he thought.
On a blustery afternoon, Lily and Travis had to do the RFR show alone. Robbie and Ray had fallen victim to Waller's wrath; they were currently warming seats in detention. They had both decided to start wearing suits and ties and in an absurdly funny imitation of Waller. Well, the student body thought it was funny and Waller did not buy the "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" bull.
The show was mostly music oriented, with Lily showing increasing skill with her guitar. Amazingly enough, neither one of them was uncomfortable in the other's presence. After the show, Travis asked, "So did you sign the cover letter, your ticket to fame and fortune?"
She smiled slightly, "Actually, no, I am going to send out the demo but not to all the recording labels. Not at this time anyway."
He stopped what he was doing to focus on her. "So what did you do with it then?"
"Well, I intend to send it to the Julliard School of Music. They have a pre-college prepatory program. I'll still have to audition."
Travis was silent for a while. "So if you're accepted that means you'll be moving away to New York?"
She stopped fiddling with her guitar case, "Yeah, well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. No need to stress over it. I haven't told Ray yet. As excited as he was about the gift he seems to have forgotten about it."
Travis wondered if Ray ever truly understood the enormity of the gift that he had given to Lily. Music was her foundation, the thing she measured all her experiences and emotions with.
Travis touched her arm, "Well, I hope everything turns out the way you want it to."
Her voice was wistful as she gather her things, "Me too." She walked to the door. "You coming? It looks kind of wicked out here, the wind has really picked up, it's now or never."
Travis followed her out, his footsteps keeping time to Lily's last phrase as he repeated it in his head. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. He knew she had the talent to get into that program and she would be leaving Roscoe. How odd, he always thought he would be the first of the four to leave.
As they were walking, they noticed the clouds had moved in quickly and began to pick up their pace hoping to outrun the storm.
Lily took note; "It looks like the bottom's going to fall…" Just then the rain fell in sheets. Travis finished her sentence, "out…. Run! That building over there has a large overhang!"
They both reached the building still somewhat dry. The eave wasn't much protection and if the wind blew just right they would get wet anyway. Travis noticed Lily shiver and moved to stand directly in front of her hoping to shield her from the rain. When they were eye to eye, nose to nose, they both noticed that Lily was slightly taller. They burst out laughing. All he was going to accomplish was getting his backside soggy.
He shifted back to stand along side of her. "If I were a lesser man, my ego might be bruised. When did you get so tall?"
She was still laughing, "Good genes, I guess. Girls grow faster you know."
Travis was enjoying her company even in such a miserable setting, "I think that is only during elementary years."
She deadpanned, "Well then, you're screwed."
The laughter was raucous then. It felt wonderful. Lily's finally died down as the rain lightened up. She flattened herself against the building and leaned her head back, "Oh that felt good! I'm so glad this year everything is back to normal. RFR is running stronger than ever, I'm with Ray, and you're not attracted to me anymore. All that drama was overwhelming."
Travis was slightly surprised by that statement. He rolled onto his shoulder to face her, the sheet metal of the building popping under his weight. "Lily, That's not true." Her head whipped quickly around sending wet strands of hair across her face. His determination to suppress his longing evaporated with the rain. His hand rose as he gently traced his fingers along her cheeks to sweep one strand aside, then down to her jawline as he lifted another away. "You will never be anything but beautiful to me."
Her heart raced, "Why?"
His eyes dropped to her lips, parted slightly in shock, his fingers traced her lower lip and he gently removed the last stray strands. "Because I know you."
Lily was in shock. Travis' touch unraveled her completely. She wanted so badly for him to follow through. Her eyes roamed his face, his eyebrows drawn down tightly as if he was studying a physics problem. His eyes darted to meet hers and then down to her lips, his mouth parted slightly and as he moved forward Lily sighed. Their breath mingled, actually visible from the drastic shift in temperatures brought by the storm. Just as their lips brushed Lily heard a voice in her head. It was Audrey's…"Don't do it again, Lil." She pulled back slightly. Travis still did not back away; he was not going to. This time it wasn't Travis who was attached. As she heard Audrey's vulnerable plea from her memory, she envisioned Ray. This time it was her. Confusion returned to her full force.
When she spoke she did not recognize her own voice, "The rain stopped."
It took a moment for Travis to realize that Lily spoke and that it was not an outpouring of returned affection. He backed away slowly. They stared at each other for several moments. He found the courage to speak along with his shame, "I'm so sorry, Lily."
She stared at him again; they were still so close. She whispered, "Are you…I'm not."
Travis did not get a chance to ask her why. Lily abruptly pulled away and began to jog in the direction of her house. He knew better than to follow.
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A/N: Did you like that TRILY treat? Would you like another TRILY treat? O.K. then … siiiit. Good now, tyyype. Now…..REVIEW! Goood Readers!