Disclaimer: I own nothing you may or may not recognize. Characters are from RFR; I don't own them.
Rating: PG13, just in case
Pairing: Travis/Lily eventually
A/N: Wow, M L Europe, you flatter me so. Pride huh? Thanks. And to twirlgirl04, I hadn't really thought about the similarity to Mulder/Scully but I guess so, only the personalities are more reversed. Travis is more like Scully except he actually believes in the little green, excuse me, gray men. Well this is it folks, this chapter will make me or break me.
Because I Know You
Chapter Ten: Denial
Travis must have stared blankly at his computer for a good half-hour. The moment he had been expecting and dreading had arrived. Lily was going to New York. He was amazed at the fresh wave of abandonment that washed over him. He chastised himself, Who was it that bought a one-way ticket to London? This did not feel like moving forward as he had schooled himself to believe. She was leaving next Friday; he would be en route to London then. He laughed bitterly; he hadn't known he had a competitive streak in him. Lily would not be the first to leave Roscoe after all; he would beat her by less than 24 hours.
They had a dance to look forward to. He would have to control himself. He had resolved not to let Lily know how much he cared. Lily would be leaving Roscoe with no more guilt and anxiety than necessary. Yet, he wanted to do something for her, let her know how much she meant to him, without tipping his hand about his deeper attachment. He fired off a quick response of congratulations to Lily and then moved to the bed to ponder a proper goodbye. He didn't think they had a category for his situation in any gift-giving guide. Not too many needed an "I love you, always have, but goodbye forever" gift. He scratched the thought of buying anything fairly quickly. Lily would know that wasn't his style. He would give her something of his, just as he had before, and she would know his meaning, just as she always did.
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She didn't know if she could do this. Tonight, she would be saying goodbye to a lot of people. She was leaving next Friday and would not be attending school next week so that she could pack up her belongings, her life really. And even though she knew she would see Ray, Robbie, and Travis again after tonight it still felt like this was their last adventure. She took a deep breath and checked her appearance. No dress, never a dress, but the sandals were definitely strappy. She smiled as she remembered the boys' expressions while enduring a detailed description of feminine accessories. She wore black satin slacks, trim neat hip huggers. The top was sage green with black details, sleeveless and somewhat shimmery. It had a mandarin collar for Far East look. Her hair was up but definitely not curled, in a twist with the last of it splayed out in spunky spikes. She could handle hair gel and hair spray to coax out beauty but not a molten metal messenger of pain no matter how fashionable curls were. She didn't bother doing anything more with her makeup. She wanted them to remember Lily; not some dressed up Lily-like version of her.
The doorbell rang and she scurried to get there before her mother did. She didn't want the waterworks to start early. She flung back the door and froze. There they were, her friends, her heroes. Robbie and Ray once again had donned their suits but nixed the ties, wearing their shirts with fashionably open collars. Handsome devils. Then there was Travis in a soft but impeccably tailored white linen shirt and black slacks bottomed out with two-tone loafers. Typical, he always walked the fine line between cutting edge and retro. Her eyes misted and she began to fan her face with both hands. "AH! I will not cry!"
Ray stepped forward and offered his arm, "Madam, your public awaits you."
She punched his arm softly and at his mock look of agony she latched on. "Let's roll, people."
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They entered the dance and let their eyes take it all in. It wasn't exactly an RFR warehouse party. Robbie looked as if he was being forced to violate religious beliefs. "Uh, Lily, are you sure you want to do this?"
Travis mirrored his expression but slowly strode forward. "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." He looked back at the group with a sarcastic grin.
The music was very mainstream; simpering Pop 40 hits and the decorations bordered on the junior high level, paper streamers and all. Lily commented, "All that is missing is the vapid beauty queen basking in her own popularity."
Along came Kim Carlisle in a skin tight hot pink sheath dress and a halo of hair. Well, there you go, thought Lily, Now it's the full experience.
"Well, well, if it isn't the Fabulous Four. Oh wait, soon it will be the Trifling Trio. So you finally decided to attend a Roscoe function. A crash course in social manners I suppose?"
Lily looked to Travis and said dryly, "O.K. so she's not vapid." Travis ducked his head to hide his smile but Kim only cocked an eyebrow in her direction.
Ray jumped to the challenge, giving Kim the once over before responding. "Nice dress, Kim, and with all that hair you look like a Pez dispenser, an E-VIL Pez dispenser. Pull back the head and you get backhanded insults instead of candy."
Kim only stared icily at Ray for a moment before speaking to Robbie directly in a seductive tone, "Would you care to dance, McGrath?"
He looked horrified, "To this?" At her instant frown he backtracked. "No offense, Kim, but I have my pride. This music is…is…"
She interrupted him before he could come up with a suitable adjective. "I should have known you wouldn't like anything good. What do you have against it, anyway?"
All four of them looked out at the crowd, what little dancers were out there, looked like they were only moving their limbs as if shaking off numbness. Ray again pounced on the opportunity, putting on an overly upbeat expression. "Well, Dick, the lyrics suck and it has no beat. I give it a one."
Kim looked at him like he needed a pill and a white jacket with long sleeves that fastened in the back. She narrowed her eyes and walked off.
Robbie looked over at Ray smiling, "You know, for someone who claims to be a DJ, she has no clue about the history of music and broadcasting." His expression turned sly and calculating as he pulled a CD out of his inner coat pocket. "I've got an idea. I'll distract her, you guys go put on something a little more comfortable."
Ray hunched his shoulder and cackled, "Yesss!! Yess master."
Robbie effectively silenced Ms. Pez with a dance and a kiss. The other three committed Cougar mutiny and took command of the music station. Soon the entire throng of people was dancing blissfully to carefully selected tunes that were blended flawlessly together with a few of Travis' mixes. She had started with Ray who after a few minutes flew off into a wild tangent that left her looking for another target. Travis obliged her and later so did Robbie. Lily moved around the crowd and gave anyone she could claim to know a friendly hug, kiss, or pat on the arm. As she had danced with Ed, she could see Ted bouncing gleefully on his toes waiting his turn. So she whipped around, grabbed his arm and pulled him in too. It was a marvelous time, and not near as sad as she had thought. It felt more like a celebration. As it got later, people had torn down the streamers and were flaunting them around their necks like feather boas. All they needed were some cool light effects.
The music slowed and Lily had the feeling that time was running out. She had not done the one thing she was determined to accomplish tonight. She looked around for Travis but had no luck. She wandered out into the halls and found him leaning against one of the walls basking in moonlight from one of the few windows.
He heard her approach. "So your Roscoe experience is now complete, Ambassador Randall?"
She walked to him with purpose, "Not quite."
He pushed off from the wall and faced her, "Do tell, what could possibly be missing?"
Softly she replied, "This." She moved to kiss him and was stunned that he held her back yet again.
"Don't, Lily."
She was livid now. "Travis, I know I am not mistaken in the signals I've received! I am not that clueless! If you are so attracted to me then why the hell do you keep shoving me away?"
"Lily, you are about to go off and chase your dreams. This will only complicate matters. I know you'll regret it." His soft defeated tone only angered her more.
She said the one thing that she knew would hurt him. "You don't know me at all."
She moved forward intending to blow by him but just as she was about to pass his arm reached across her to stop her progress. His hand was cupped around her hip and his forearm stretched low across her abdomen. For one fleeting moment she felt his strength as he had tensed for impact. She stood stone still, barely breathing. His thumb brushed across her hipbone once…then twice…then she heard him.
"Lily." It was more of a pained release of emotion than a call for her attention.
She turned her head slowly; his head was lowered as if he was still denying the attraction. His hand moved from her hip, turning so that his knuckles brushed her bare midriff on its journey upward. His head turned slightly so that his cheek rested against hers as if he required her support. His hand rose torturously slow along her center pausing briefly at the hollow of her throat with another soft caress. Then it moved more deliberately to cup her face as his stance shifted. He kissed her then. One soft slow kiss as his thumb stroked her ear softly, followed by several open-mouthed frantic kisses as his other hand trailed up her spine to rest at the base of her neck.
It was then she knew. He had wanted this all along, from the first moment he had pushed her away so long ago, even as she dated Ray, and even as she prepared to leave. Her heart broke then and as a small sob escaped her he deepened the kiss. Her own hands moved to his hips if only to keep herself from falling. She relaxed; there was that wonderful thaw. His hand moved down to the small of her back and pulled her against him, the kiss becoming slower yet deeper and she felt his uneven breaths against her cheek.
She had to breathe; she pulled back and had to lean back further as he tried to recapture her mouth. "Travis."
He looked at her then. His eyes only confirming what she had felt in his touch. His thumbs gently brushed away the tears that had escaped her.
"Travis, why didn't you tell me?"
His eyes were glistening and he took a moment to compose himself. After a deep breath he said, "One does not cut the limbs of the tree that shades him."
"Ray?"
At his nod she continued, "And after that?"
He released her. "You were leaving Lily. I didn't want to make things harder."
"You didn't know that then."
"Yes I did."
She reached out and hugged him, then pulled back slightly to speak. "Well, it's not the end. I'll be back to Roscoe to visit." Oddly, he frowned and only nodded his head.
Just then they heard Ray searching the halls. Travis whispered, "We'd better go." She nodded and they turned back toward the dance, hands clasped together. Travis decided he was going to hold on as long as he could.
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A/N: Man, after so many rewrites of this chapter, I gotta go find myself somebody to kiss!
Disclaimer: These aren't mine either. Not as good as the previous, but hey, who can top Mulder and Scully? I loved Steve.
"That's IT! You found the third clue. You know what we gotta do now? That's right … the Thinking Chair."
"Hmmm, now what could Blue want us to do with a keyboard, some letters, and you."
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