Disclaimer: I own nothing you may or may not recognize. Characters are from RFR; I don't own them.
Rating: PG13, just in case
Pairing: Travis/Lily eventually
A/N: O.K. so how many of you read through that last chapter twice? And how many read through it twice and still did not review…Shame on you! For all those who did review, at any chapter…thank you, thank you, and thank you.
To Slayer2003, thanks so much for your understanding, my happy fingers increased the word count of this section so "IT" got bumped to the next. EVERYONE go read her story and review it! It's fabulous!
ML Europe: I found me one, did you?
Twirlgirl04: Duh! Somebody thwap me, I get the mental connection similarity now. Perhaps Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper share that also. Ha!
Obsessed with this Fic: Is that name just for me or do you use it on all the authors? Thanks so much for reading!
CharmedGurl976: A little free advertising never hurt anyone, eh? I promise I'll read it!
Zen-ish: What an honor! Thanks, you made my day!
Because I Know You
Chapter Eleven: Enlightenment
Lily arrived home from the dance as she had departed, with three handsome young men as her escorts. During the walk home she had been on cloud nine. She and Travis had held hands the entire walk home, although discreetly while Robbie and Ray walked slightly ahead of them. She wasn't sure of Ray's feelings yet; she didn't want to cause him any pain. Then again she couldn't afford not to express herself with Travis, she was leaving in a few days. When they arrived at her porch, she felt tears sting her eyes once again. All these little moments felt like tiny good-byes that tore at her heart. Robbie gave her the CD that had played a part in their musical mutiny and Ray twirled her around in a last minute dance. Travis embraced her; she could count on her hand the number of times Travis had hugged her. He gave her a soft kiss on her knuckles. "Sleep well, Ms. Ambassador."
That was entirely impossible. She drifted into her room. Just thinking about the kiss with Travis released the butterflies in her stomach all over again. And yet she had never felt so despondent in her life. Just when she may have finally figured out what love was she was going to leave it behind in a trail of dust. Her heart beat double-time at the thought. Was it love? People don't kiss like that unless they are in love, do they? She hadn't realized how much time had passed during her musings until she heard the soft knock at her door.
Her mother entered. "Lily, all that excitement from tonight keeping you awake?"
"Among other things." Lily sighed heavily, she might as well ask her mother for advice, after all, she'd been there. "Mom, can I ask you something?"
Her mother moved behind her and began to release her hair from its twist and picked up a brush from the bureau to smooth it out. "You know you can. Is this about one of those three handsome men?" She said this with a lift of her eyebrow that made Lily feel like she was ten again with a newfound crush. "Perhaps two?"
Her mom constantly surprised her; she had known all along about the confusion she went through with Travis and Ray. Perhaps she should have asked for her advice to begin with. She'd have to remember to do so in the future, she had a feeling that in the coming months she would need a lot more guidance.
She thought carefully for a few moments while her mother continued to brush out her hair. "Mom, how do you know? How do you tell the difference between high school crushes and The One?"
Her mother brushed her hair silently for a few more strokes with a nostalgic smile on her face. "Lily, it's new, exciting, wonderful, scary, and more often than not painful." Her expression turned serious as she turned Lily by the shoulders to face her. "I know you may be feeling rushed to discover the depth of your emotions but believe me when I say you have plenty of time. You may be leaving in less than a week but if you have found The One, then the distance will not matter."
Lily pondered for a moment, it was a very calming thought, she hoped it was true. She reached out and hugged her mother. "Thanks, Mom."
Lily spent all of Monday packing up whatever she could. She met the guys at the studio for the RFR broadcast. She spent more time holding back tears and sniffles than contributing anything of value or substance. She didn't want listeners to clue into the tightness in her voice and sense something was amiss. The next day a box of tissues was placed in front of her chair. She suspected Travis had something to do with that. The shows were trivial compared to some of their previous broadcasts but that didn't matter to Lily. Time was flying too quickly, it was like trying to hold onto sand, the more tightly you squeezed the more you lost. After the show they all went to Mickey's and just enjoyed each other's company.
She sat as close as she could to Travis and was surprised to see that Ray seemed O.K. with that. It irked her that she would be leaving just when everyone had figured out how they felt about each other with no residual stress. Travis constantly touched her. Nothing too overt, no massive public display of affection, just a subtle gesture as if he was reassuring himself of her presence rather than offering her affection or comfort. She found that to be infinitely more romantic. It was not fair that she would not get to fully discover Travis' romantic side. She would have sulked if she hadn't thought it an incredible waste of her precious time. Instead she just enjoyed herself.
Travis' nervousness grew exponentially with each passing second. He had sent a message for Lily to meet him at the studio tonight; his flight out was tomorrow evening. He wanted his farewell to Lily to be special and private. This was something he didn't want to share with Ray and Robbie. He had two gifts for her. One for her to open tonight and one to open after she departed. He had wrapped each of them in various colored bandannas so nothing would be wasted even though they made her look like a babushka. He'd only turned on the smaller lights in his tech booth so the mood was softer. Not too many girls would find a ramshackle warehouse filled with miscellaneous furniture and duct-taped broadcast equipment high on their list of most romantic rendezvous. Just Lily.
He really didn't know what to say to Lily. The feeling of vulnerability was almost overwhelming. When he kissed Lily at the dance he hadn't expected to feel it quite that way. He was a growing man, he knew how the body responded, no surprise there. What amazed him was how his heart swelled and the world shrank. There was only Lily. There was no way for him to know if she felt as strongly about him. He decided it didn't really matter.
He was puttering around in the booth when she arrived, a crisp autumn breeze chasing her in the door. She dropped her bag on the table and draped her jacket across one of the chairs. "Hey." She said softly. She was wearing a soft green sweater, his favorite color. Lily always knew about the little things. Travis could not bring himself to approach her; he stayed in his booth. He knew it was just a physical manifestation of his fear of letting go. Still, he remained in the booth and replied just as softly, "Hey yourself."
She did not approach him directly; she walked around the studio looking around as if she'd never been inside before. He supposed she was trying to memorize each tiny detail, she would occasionally run her fingers along the table or a chair or drag them down the rack of CD's on the wall like a little kid with a stick along a fence. He was witnessing her farewell to one of her treasured spaces. His nervousness disappeared. He came up behind her while she read the CD titles and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back and sighed. He asked softly, "Looking for new tracks in the soundtrack of your life?" She simply laughed. He took her hand and led her to the battered and faded couch. "How about presents? I do recall Shady Lane mentioning small gifts couldn't hurt."
She narrowed her eyes playfully, "And I recall a certain DJ Smog relating that the collection of material goods was not necessarily good for one's karma." They sat comfortably on the couch as he picked up the smaller of the two packages.
"Well, that usually only applies to the collection of valued goods to increase one's wealth. This..." he said while waving the present, "only holds value to those who know me. And the other gift you can open when you're flying off to your destiny." He handed her the gift and she raised her eyebrows at the unusual wrapping.
"Are you trying to make me look like a babushka or are you admitting you like these now?"
He smirked, "A little of both."
She carefully pulled away the bandanna to reveal a CD labeled "For Lily." Her smile was bright and he gently took the CD from her so that he could play it in the booth. He returned to her smiling softly as she commented, "I suppose those are original tracks?"
"Mostly, some are songs that make me think of you. But you inspired my softer side, I hope you like it."
She listened for a moment. Travis was truly a talented DJ. This was definitely not dance music. Soft and slow, but with a supporting beat and every so often a trill of music that seemed to have a Far East orientation. Very romantic. She leaned toward him; "I love it, Travis." She placed the first of many soft kisses on his lips. The world shrank once again and he was lost.
They spent the next hour alternating between soft conversation and even softer kisses. Occasionally things would get a little heated and Lily would pull away breathlessly as if she was going to say something. After the third round her courage crested as she asked, "Travis, I know I'm leaving and it's really not fair to put you on the spot but…how do you feel…about me?"
His silence began to worry her; he could see the tiny frown appear. He remembered his vow to not let her feel any obligation to him but he could not leave without letting her know how he felt. The age-old standard of "I Love You" seemed to carry so much baggage with it and really did not encompass the strength of his emotion. Lily's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Why do men always have such trouble expressing feelings?" She started to pull away from him but he pulled her back to lean against his chest as he began his quest for her understanding.
"Lily, do you remember how you felt when you first picked up a guitar? How did you know it was for you, can you describe that for me?"
She swiveled her head back to look at him like he was avoiding the subject but decided to humor him. She leaned back into him and fell into story-telling mode. "It was beautiful. It seemed to call to me…so shiny and mysterious and the sounds it made as I ran my fingers along the strings seemed unusual and exciting. I thought it would be awkward to hold but the strap was like a comforting friend. Then the store manager hooked her up to an amp. I could almost feel the current." She felt Travis splay one hand across her abdomen as the other softly ran along the inside of arm. She continued somewhat distracted. "I let loose with a heavy strum and the reverberation ran through my entire body. It was amazing. I don't know how to explain it Travis, I just knew…" She stopped speaking suddenly realizing his intention. She turned to look at him.
His expression was soft and so intense at the same time. "Exactly, I just know." She didn't know how the other wrapped gift could possibly be any better than what she had just received. She turned in his arms and thanked him properly.
A/N: No more begging, I promise.
O.K. I lied, PLEASE review. I enjoy your comments as much as reading stories!