The walk to school felt as if it took forever.

Out of habit, Kaname kept turning around to see why Sousuke was hanging back, tired of hearing that he was preserving his field of fire. "Big idiot! Moron! Jerk!" He wasn't there. She knew that already. It still hurt. Memories teased her as she walked by various landmarks.

The crack in the pavement over there?

She had kicked Sousuke betwixt wind and water after he told her he had forgotten to do his part of their tandem assignment. He apologized. There had been a Godzilla marathon on. "I'm sorry, Sousuke."

The forked tree by the fire hydrant?

He had pushed her to the ground when the ice cream man peddled his cart by, thinking he was headed straight for her. His flying tackle had upended the cart and sent the man in for stitches. Kaname had put three ice cream bars down his shirt and one down his pants. She smacked him when he stuttered, asking if it was an indication that their relationship was becoming more intimate. "I miss you, Sousuke."

That broken fence post by the dumpster?

It hadn't been broken before she had thrown Sousuke against it repeatedly. He had told her that he had prevented Kurz, Shinji, and Onuki from seeing her and the other girls naked at the Onken. She had smiled and asked if he had peaked, knowing it would make him blush. He merely said 'Why' in typical Sousuke fashion. Of course, Kaname's response would have been the same for 'Yes,' but at least that answer would have made her secretly feel good. "I hope you'll be OK, Sousuke."

Other places and things triggered nostalgic feelings in her. Just a week ago, the same memories might have caused her to growl or shake her fist. Not any more. Not after last night. Bit by bit, over the last few months, she had admitted the truth to herself. Last night, she had to chance to see if she was right. She was.

Kaname stopped and stared. The wind had begun to pelt her with rain. Soon, the clouds would open up. She had forgotten a number of things this morning, including her umbrella. That wasn't what bothered her. Up ahead, he saw a boy open his umbrella for a girl. She snuggled close to him, unconcerned about showing affection in public.

Where was Sousuke now? Was he thinking about her?

The wind blew something against her leg. She blinked repeatedly, frowning moments before the wind took it away. It had been a wrapper. A Christmas Cake wrapper. Her dreams for tonight had blown away just like that paper had. That didn't matter. Any night could be Christmas Eve, if Sousuke returned alive and unharmed. He would still care, right? That hadn't been an illusion last night, had it?

He had shown up at her door, looking so handsome. Her heart had soared. Then, the truth came crashing down on her. He had to leave before their date. She had been so terribly disappointed. The words she said to Sousuke still threatened to bring tears to her eyes now. She had thrown that present at him, stunned to see what it was after he left.

Her heart racing, she had run like an escapee from an asylum, needing to catch him before he was gone. They went back to her apartment to share what little time he had left. He accepted the scarf. Then he shocked her. He said he wanted to kiss her, but was obviously too hesitant to make the move. She took care of that. They had melted into one another, not wanting to let go. She had watched him leave, not knowing when she might see him again.

Yes. That had been real. It just seemed like something out of a dream. How she wanted to have his arms around her again, if only for a moment. "Get a hold of yourself, girl. You know what happens if Kyouko and the others get wind of this." Yes. Kyouko and her camera. Ryo with her sighs and rolling eyes. Maya and her rush to tell anyone who would listen. Mizuki with her snide remarks. That wasn't the kind of thing she was in the mood for. Not by a long shot. But, there were worse things in the world than having ones secret get out. She wasn't the one going into battle. There was little chance that she would be shot, blown up, or torn to pieces today. Right?

She felt uncomfortable, almost naked. Sousuke wasn't here to protect her.

Not long ago she would have been cursing the fact that he had turned her life inside out and upside down, claiming she could take care of herself. She wouldn't have been entirely incorrect suggesting that she was in more danger from his crazy stunts than she was from any potential enemy. "Sheeesh, don't get all maudlin."

Right!

She was Kaname Chidori, after all. She lived alone, without a parent, guardian, or siblings. She had done more than just get by, she had thrived. She was the poster girl for strength, perseverance, and unquestionable success. There was not a single person she could think of who could claim such things. The mental pep talk sounded great. There was only one problem. The past was the past. This was something knew. She had never felt this way about someone before. She didn't know if she would ever feel this way again.

She danced circles around a specific word. It was frightening. It had the potential to disrupt her world as much as exploding shoe boxes, clothes- hungry bacteria, or kidnappings by madmen and megalomaniacs. Love. Her feelings could be love. How could she be certain? Girls were always saying they loved this boy or that boy. Did they all feel the way she did? Was this just a school girl crush? And what about that no good clueless otaku? Did he feel the same way? Would he ever? Could he? After all that he had been through in his life, could Sousuke even feel love? Would he recognize it, if it didn't show up in a manual or mission briefing?

Kaname wanted to be held again. She wanted to be kissed again. But, at that moment, she realized one thing: what she wanted most was to be loved. Not just protected. Loved. Treasured. Put ahead of everything else. Was it Sousuke who made her feel this way? Or, had she been long overdue, and he just happened to be the one there when her heart finally broke free of its restraints? How would she know?

"Hey, Ka-naaaa-mayyyyyy..." A chipper voice called out to her from the school gateway. It was Kyouko. "Hurry up. You're almost late. The peppy girl walked down the front school walkway, joining her friend. "Where's Sousuke? I don't see him anywhere. They removed all the bushes out front after the last episode." Kyouko scanned the area, looking for a familiar form. "Did you two have a big fight again?" The way that Kyouko said that almost made her sound eager. Fights gave a chance for reconciliation. Reconciliation could lead to other things.

"No. He had to go away again. Something with the family business. That's all." Kaname tried to smile. She couldn't.

"Oh! But Kaname, why do you look so sad, then? Do you miss him? Was he supposed to go somewhere with you tonight?" Kyouko no longer sounded mischievous. She hadn't seen Kaname look like this for some time.

Kaname thought about lying. She couldn't. Somehow, that would seem like dishonoring Sousuke. She nodded her head.

"Where! You have to tell us where!" Maya walked up. She had caught the end of the conversation, but hadn't picked up on Kaname's mood yet.

"I just knew that card was something special. Come on girl, don't hold anything back." Ryo joined the group as well, following them down the hallway. "Is it a gun shop? Military supply depot? Missile testing range? How else would you get him to say 'yes'?"

Maya and Ryo laughed until they saw Kyouko's face. "Where is Sousuke?" Maya asked, somewhat more subdued. She looked around, certain she must have missed Kaname's dependable shadow.

"Not... here..." Kyouko answered for her friend, trying to get the others to let the matter drop.

"The guy probably blew her off!" It was Misuki. She had long since gotten over her grudge over Shirai. Just the same, she enjoyed making wisecracks at Kaname's expense. "It would be bad enough to be rejected by any boy; but, to be rejected by Sagara? Geeez!"
Nobody laughed. Kaname clenched her fists. There was a tightening in her throat.

"Sagara did what to Kaname?" Tsubaki Issei stood next to Misuki. The doe-eyed look she gave him made him gulp and move across the hallway. He took up a fighter's stance. His eyes were intense. He too looked for the absent young soldier. "He has made some personal promise to Kaname, and then broken it? That loser! We have all known that he is an unfeeling bastard. They shouldn't even let someone like that in this school. If I..."

There was a loud noise. Everyone stood stunned. Kaname had slapped the leader of the karate club. "If you were half the man Sousuke was, you would be twice the man you'll ever be." Kaname's voice cracked. "Who are you, to talk about what he is or isn't?" The sudden loss of control had been bad enough. For a moment, she felt a near uncontrollable urge to tell them all about Mithril and Sousuke. She wanted them to see him as she did. It had been a close thing. Much too close.

Tsubaki stood stammering. He looked at Kaname as if he had never seen her before. At that moment, there was no sign of his crush on her. Kaname turned to look at Mizuki. "Anyone else have something bad to say about Sousuke?" Mizuki just opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

Kaname walked on alone to class. At one point she stopped to lean up against a water cooler, trembling. Just what had gotten into her? She took a number of deep breaths and continued on her way, realizing that her friends were walking behind her silently, giving her space. It wasn't the first time that any of them had made light of Sousuke. It wasn't even the first time someone had put him down while he was away on a mission. But today, Kaname wasn't about to let anyone belittle someone who would be risking his life to make a better world, while he or she sat back cozy and safe. "Sousuke."Her whisper fell off of her lips as she looked at his empty desk.

After sitting down in her chair, Kaname looked at the world map hanging on the wall. Where was Sousuke headed? How was Mithril involved? Why the need for that Lambda Driver? That stupid machine had saved his life once, with her help. Now it seemed to be a ready made excuse to pull Sousuke away from her. Black technology was responsible for that device. The secrets had been gotten from the Whispered… from people like her.

A hand came down on her shoulder. Kyouko's. Her friend looked concerned. "I'm sorry, Kaname. I shouldn't have said so much. If you want to talk later, I'll listen. If you need help, I'll do whatever I can."

Kaname squeezed Kyouko's hand and nodded her head. She couldn't speak. Maya and Ryo walked by her desk, tapping it very lightly, their shared signal for 'I'm sorry.'

"I don't want to pry, Kaname. If you need anything, just ask." Ren face was an island of serenity. Kaname felt gratitude rising up within her. She had good friends. She was very fortunate. She needed friends now.

As the school day went on, Kaname felt her grit and determination returning. She began to shake off the insidious malaise that threatened to smother her usual vibrant personality. By the third class, she had even managed a laugh. At lunch, she was almost her old self.

She continued to think about Sousuke. He was probably the strongest person she knew or had ever known. That was saying something, given her mother's courageous fight against cancer, and her father's painful task of keeping the family together. It was funny how she hadn't really seen him all was until now. Things she purposely ignored or sneered at before now seemed remarkable. She no longer found herself wishing he would change. In some ways, she wished she could be more like him.

Was that love speaking? Or, had her view of things simply become less self-centered? Staring out the cafeteria window, Kaname thought back to the previous night. She smiled, thinking about Sousuke's card. 'I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes, after the day's great sun. And if I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd walk through a garden forever.' The big idiot! He probably didn't even know what that meant. She would teach him, though! He would be back. She refused to think otherwise. If he finished the journey on a commercial airliner again, she'd be waiting for him at the airport. If not, she'd sit outside his door. Her own card spoke truly. She did believe in him. It was important he realized that. But, it was more than that. He needed to realize just how much he meant to her.

"Jerk." She smiled, until she realized she had spoken out loud.

"What?" Ryo looked shocked.

"Oh. Sorry! I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking about something else." Kaname blushed.

No one said anything. They looked at Kaname... at each other... and then at Kaname again. She knew exactly what they were thinking. No one was about to mention Sousuke's name after the episode in the hallway. "Yes," Kaname said. "Sousuke."

"Really?" "What happened?" "Are the two of you dating?" "How long?" "Did you get him a manual?" "How about a diagram?" "Do you have plans for tonight?" "Did he do anything special?" "Did he do anything... you know... Sousuke-like?" "Tell us!" Kaname's words had opened the floodgates. Questions spilled out of her friends before she had a chance to answer a single one. She sat a moment, just looking from friend to friend. For some reason, she suddenly felt like talking about Sousuke. Talking about him would almost make it seem as if he were there.

"OK... OK..." Kaname tossed her hair and grinned. "One at a time..."

The girls all slid their chairs closer to hers. "Give us the scoop, girl. All of it!" Ryo was leaning so far forward, that she almost fell out of her chair.

"Well…" Kaname fluffed her hair. "Not all of it…" She winked, knowing it was like shooting fish in a barrel.

"You have to!" "We're your friends." "You owe us, girlfriend!" "We'd do the same." "You bet!"

Kaname took out her hairbrush. She began with slow long strokes, humming to herself.

"Ka-naaaa-maaaaay..."

"Oh. Did you all think I meant today?" Kaname reached inside of her purse for her nail file. She had to fight to keep from laughing. The looks on their faces had been precious. "Alright. Let's see. Where should I start?" Her friends leaned forward again. "How about this finger?" She began filing down a rough nail.

"Oooooooooh..." That sound came from everyone at the table except her.

"OK. No more jokes. Sousuke and I..." Kaname was interrupted by a voice coming over the P.A.system.

"WILL MISS KAMAME CHIDORI PLEASE REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. THERE IS AN IMPORTANT PHONE CALL FOR YOU. I REPEAT, WILL MISS CHIDORI PLEASE COME TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE."

For a moment, Kaname sat stunned. An important phone call? Only one thing came to mind immediately. Mithril, calling her about Sousuke. Calling to say... to say... to say …

No!

It couldn't be that. It had to be something other than that. Anything but that. She was oblivious to the look her friends turned on her. She never heard the quips that some jokers at other tables made at her expense. When she was able to stand, she began walking sedately, with as much dignity as she could muster. When the lunch room doors swung closed behind her, she started walking faster. Before she knew it, she was jogging. She almost knocked over a secretary, running through the office door. She stopped outside the Principal's office. She froze.

"WILL MISS KANAME CHIDORI PLEASE REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE"

The woman using the overhead system hadn't seen Kaname walk in. Another secretary pushed a button on her intercom. "She's here," she said. Moments later, the Principal opened her door and motioned Kaname inside. She pushed a button on her phone and passed the handset to the younger woman.

Kaname swallowed. "H-Hello?"

"Kaname, I'm glad they would let you out of class." It was her father. Why was her father calling now? He usually called once per week on Saturday or Sunday. This was the first time he had called her at school. Kaname went tense. Could something have happened to Ayame? Was something wrong with her father?

"I... I was at lunch, Daddy."

"Oh, I see. I hope it wasn't something really good. But, I wanted to reach you as soon as I could. I only now got out of session. What I wanted..."

"Is Ayame, alright? Are you OK, Daddy?" Kaname never interrupted her father. She couldn't help herself. It was bad enough worrying about Sousuke.

"Yes, Kaname. We're both fine. In fact, each of us is looking forward to seeing you. That's why I called. You're booked on a five o'clock flight tonight. First class. Your Principal will kindly let you out of school early."

"B-B-But why... this is so sudden... there are exams coming up... I mean..." Kaname was sorely puzzled. This wasn't like her father. If he ever got wind of her even taking a single day off of school, he'd have her packaged in a crate and shipped to New York to finish school there.

"Is there anything wrong with a father wanting to see his daughter over the holidays? Ayame's been feeling very down lately, thinking about your mother at this time of year. It would do her a world of good to see you." There was truth in what her father was saying, but Kaname knew him too well. He was keeping something from her. He was a consummate politician, but he had slipped for just a moment. A single inflection. He was worried about something.

"No that's wonderful, but..."

"There will be no 'buts,' Kaname." Her father's voice suddenly went very stern. "There will be no arguments. You will be on that plane. After you hang up, go home and pack anything you might want for at least a five day visit."

"I...but...what..."

Her mind was spinning. She was beginning to get very tense. The words echoed in her ears. 'At least a five day visit.' Her father was a master of exactitude. He usually had visits planned down to the very last minute.

"I said no 'buts,' and I meant no 'buts.' If need be, I can call some one at the consulate's office in Tokyo and have them escort you to the airport. When that plane leaves the country, you are going to be on it, conscious or unconscious, in the luggage compartment if necessary. Do I make myself clear?" There was no mistaking it. Her father was worried. Terribly worried. He almost never used threats. What was going on? 'When that plane leaves the country.' Why did he want her out of Japan? There was no sense in arguing.

"As you wish, Father." Even to herself, her voiced sounded solemn. She felt as if her freedom was being revoked. "Have you made arrangements with the Principal, or should I do that now?"

"I've taken care of all that. Please, don't be upset. You haven't done anything wrong. This should be a happy visit. You'll get here on Christmas Day. We have a tree. Presents. There will even be a turkey. I doubt you've had turkey since you came back to Japan. Ayame's been working hard, learning some holiday music on the violin."

"It sounds wonderful, Daddy. Really, it does." Kaname didn't want her father to think she didn't want to see him. She did. But, she would have hoped for better circumstances. If Mithril needed to contact her, what would they do? She had never told her father about that organization. He didn't even know that she was Whispered. How could he even know what that meant? She would have to leave word at the safe house. If Mithril could build super subs and Lamba Drivers, no doubt they could find a way to deliver a covert message if need be.

What about Sousuke? If he made it home before she did, she wouldn't be there waiting for him. But, the matter was out of her hands.

"Good. Very good. Promise me you will be on that plane..."

"Yes, Daddy. I promise." When she hung up the phone, Kaname thanked the Principal and went to speak briefly with her next teacher. She sought out Kyouko and the others, telling them where she would be going. They looked worried, and she had no way to honestly reassure them.

"You don't think he wants you to go back for good, do you Kaname?" Kyouko's question caught Kaname by surprise. She had never considered that angle. But, did that possibility make any sense? She knew that her father could do that any time he wanted, without resorting to an elaborate facade.

"No, I don't think so, Ky. This is very much out of the ordinary, so I can't say what's going on. He said that he and my sister are fine, and I just hope that's true."

"I hope so too, Kaname." Kyouko looked close to tears.

"Me too!" Ryo gave Kaname a quick hug.

"Call, if you can." Maya squeezed her friend's hand.

Kaname stood looking at her friends. For a moment, she was worried about them. Why did her father want her out of the country? What was urgent enough to pull Sousuke into action? Was there a connection? Or, had Sousuke gotten her to start thinking too much like him?

One thing was certain. This was not what she had hoped for on Christmas Eve.