Christmas Cake Chapter 22, a full metal panic fanfic

Sousuke felt like he was ready to explode.

He shouted. No, he screamed. There was so much deep within him that wanted to get out.

The first yell had been a challenge to the elements, daring them to hold him back. Rain was washing over Arbalest and the launch deck of the TDD-1 was awash in violent churning waves. The winds were whipping around the Arm Slave and submarine like a ravenous pack of hyenas, but they would not hold him back!

Thrown airborne by the tremendous power of the steam catapult, his rocket boosters pulling him ever higher, he shouted again in pure animal ecstasy. He didn't have his own wings, but it was clear he was meant to soar. Upward through the angry clouds he went, until he burst free into the untainted light above.

"Cruising altitude reached, Sergeant. Maintaining this level until directed otherwise." The A.I. was functioning perfectly. Sousuke wanted nothing to do with functioning perfectly, at least not where himself was concerned.. There was life to live. There were things to experience. How the Hell had he missed that before?He switched over to manual.

"Sergeant, you have switched over to manual. Is there a problem? External sensors show no evidence of threat."

"Shut up!" Sousuke growled. "You talk when I want an answer. Otherwise be quiet." He held the throttle down, racing higher and higher. He was a falcon... a hawk... an eagle. Memories of Greek mythology cautioned him, trying to temper his rash behavior. The story of Icarus was a good lesson, part of him asserted. The other part didn't care. That other part was fast becoming the majority.

"Training question, Sergeant. You flight path is erratic. If you are not suffering from a detrimental mental event, why are you pursuing this course of action?"

"SHUT THE F-CK UP!" Sousuke shouted, not wanting to be interrupted from his visceral pleasures. His choice of language didn't seem to be out of the ordinary to him, and raised no concern in his mind. "This is fun…" He smiled, half closing his eyes in pleasure.

"Urzu-7, this is Flight Monitor. You are far off course. Repeat, you are far off course. Conserve the necessary fuel for potential maneuvers needed at landing. Urzu-7, do you…" Sousuke turned off the communications link with De Danaan. It was interfering with his music.

Yes. Music. It was something he had never truly appreciated. Why hadn't he gotten into music before? Because it wasn't in the manual! It didn't seem civilized. He had been too innocent. He couldn't identify with any of the themes. Desire was bad. Impulses had to be held down. There were so many rules. There were too many restraints. Everything had to be rational, realistic, and reasonable.

"Not… any…more!" Sousuke laughed. He turned the music up louder.

'Living easy, living free
'Season ticket on a one-way ride
'Asking nothing, leave me be
'Taking everything in my stride

'Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
'Ain't nothing I would rather do
'Going down, party time
'My friends are gonna be there too

'I'm on the highway to hell... highway to hell... I'm on the highway to hell

'No stop signs, speed limit
'Nobody's gonna slow me down...'

Sousuke shouted again. It was a challenge to the Universe, to Infinity. He had a mission to carry out. It didn't matter if it was a one-way ride. He would get the job done because he wanted to, not because someone told him to do it. He remembered something Gauron once said to him. He paraphrased. It was the intentions that mattered. "Ferryman... you're going to be busy. There are some Arm Slave pilots looking to come visit. I'll see who else I can find to keep them company!"

The enemy was just one more thing that stood in his way. That would be their last mistake. His fingers tapping along, Sousuke understood why Kurz liked to listen to music before a mission. He could even appreciate why it pumped him up during battle. There wasn't too much time before he would arrive on site. He had better enjoy the rush while he could. The next song jacked him up even higher. He smiled. Why was he worried about losing his groove? The real party would start when he hit the ground.

'Well I don't know where they come from
'But they sure do come
'I hope they're comin' for me
'And I don't know how they do it
'But they sure do it good
'I hope they're doin' it for free

'They give me cat scratch fever... cat scratch fever... I've got it bad scratch fever... cat scratch fever

'Well the first time that I got it
'I was just 10 years old
'I got it from some kitty next door
'Well I went and seen the doctor
'And he gave me the cure
'I think I got it some more...'

Sousuke howled, riding a wave of hormones, not caring if he wiped out before reaching the shore. Why had he hidden from all this? What could he possibly gain from holding back? It felt so good just being able to let go! His thoughts grew more exciting as his urges grew earthier.
There were parts of his medicated mind that fought back, frightened and repulsed by the urges he was feeling. He was confused. He was embarrassed. Repressed. Suppressed. Inexperienced. He was a teen-aged boy, with all that condition entailed.

'Well I make a pussy purr
'With the stroke of my hand
'They know they're gettin' it from me
And they know just where to go
'When they need their lovin' man
'They know I'm doin' it for free...'

So, he might not have the experience to back up the words. It didn't matter. Held back too long, he had never allowed himself to even explore his desires. He rarely even acknowledged they were there!

He fought like a man. He did a man's job. Why hadn't he collected a man's reward? Things were going to change. Oh yes, things were going to change. He howled again. Freedom was wonderful. Lust had him tingling all over. It was delicious, almost intoxicating. He drummed his hands over the controls closing his eyes until the next song began.

'I never give no answers, I never tell no lies
'I never walk a straight line so I never get surprised
'I don't ask no favors so I won't get abused
'I learned to win when I was young
'So I'm never ever gonna lose...'

Sousuke chuckled deep within his throat, identifying with the song. He didn't know the title. He didn't know the band. He didn't care. It was his song now. "That's right. I'm not going to lose. Not any more. No more doing what I am told to do. No more helping other people win. No more charity. Tiime to take what is mine."

A green light began flashing on the data panel. Sousuke paused the music and pushed a button.

"Weather report encoding, Sergeant. Wind speed and directional information transferring to the screen. Approach and landing orders have been received. Displaying them now on a split screen." The A.I.'s voice was cold and dispassionate. Sousuke felt sorry for it. It sounded just like he once did. Too bad it couldn't feel like he did now. He'd have to enjoy life for the both of them.

Sousuke looked at the required approach vectors. He took note of wind gust trending in the various available quadrants. Looking at the mission parameters he shook his head. "Al, disregard all current parameters regarding landing protocol. We will approach under power. I am not about to use a chute on descent. Prior to landing, activate the Lambda Driver. Create a shield as we discussed earlier. Make it circumferential with complete coverage. Extend the filed to maximum extent, with increasing gradation from outer perimeter inward. We will use the field to soften our landing."

"Sergeant, that is not an established landing procedure. The shielding may fail, or act in some manner that is not predicted by current algorithms. If…" The A.I. never had a chance to finish with its communication.

"Screw that shit!" Sousuke said. he had always been either apathetic or annoyed by Melissa's colorful language in the past. Not any more. It had it's own special charm. Just as she did herself. There were things about her that were definitely worth thinking about, things that he had never allowed himself to think about before.

He smiled. He could feeli his heart beaing strongly and hear the rush of blood in his ears. He never could understand why Kurz and Melissa enjoyed watching the X-games on TV, until now. This ought to be the greatest X-game ever. "We're going to take some folks by surprise. If we land intact." Part of his mind started figuring out the percentage chances. He purposefully stopped that kind of thinking. Numbers were for accountants and people too afraid to take life as it came. ut, those thoughts were no so easily denied. This was too reckless. It was not a game. He should follow orders. A mistake could prove fatal, not just for him, but for his squad mates. Not to mention the land of his birth.

Someone else would be in danger. Kaname. His mind shouted her name. She could be hurt.She could be killed.

"N-N-No..." Sousuke struggled with himself. "NO!" He did not want to get caught up in internal debates. Pushing a button, he turned his attention back to the music.

'I never ask no questions, I never speak my mind
'I always found that silence helps to keep me and my kind alive
'I take care of business, It takes care of me
'I look after myself and do it well
'cause somebody's always looking for me...'

Yes. It was time to take care of business. But, this time he would enjoy it. The challenge. The competition. The fighting. The destruction. The winning. Every last bit of it.

'I got no place, no name, I'm just a killing machine
'I kept the population down, if you know what I mean
'I never stop in one place, I move about the cities
'Got expensive tastes, but I hasten to add that
'I'm the best that there is...'

He couldn't put it any better. He was a killing machine. He would make certain that the North Koreans and those fools from Grendel realized that he was the best that there is. Pulling up the mission outline, he ran his eyes down a list of mission objectives grouped by priority, order of performance, and assigned responsibility. He would need to rework it. Why should he limit himself? He knew why they tried to limit him. They wanted to control him. They didn't want others to see his superiority. They didn't want to share the power. Too bad.

Too damn bad.

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Stacy sat on the floor, carefully unwrapping the items she had brought in her larger shopping bag.

Kaname looked on, filled with curiosity, glad that her father had relented and allowed the Mithril agent to stay. His dictate had been firm, however. She should stays out of the way. He would still place his trust in Mr. Smith.

"Is that an Uzi?" Kaname saw similarities in the shape of the Submachine gun that Stacy placed on the floor and the Uzi that Sousuke occasional used.

"No. Ruger M9. But, it's essentially an upgrade of the Uzi design. Main improvements over the Uzi include the blow-back operated action being re-designed to be fired from the closed bolt, to increase accuracy; the lower receiver with the handle is made from Zytel polymer, while the upper receiver is made from stainless steel; the butt-stock is redesigned, and is telescopic. When closed, it folds down." She demonstrated as she spoke.

"Nine millimeter?" Kaname asked.

"Yes. Thirty-two rounds. Not the best gun available, but I'm used to it. I trained with one. My parents thought I was going away to cheerleading camp." Stacy checked the spare clips she had lined up next to the gun.

"I suppose most parents might have some issue with their daughter becoming an undercover soldier." Kaname laughed. "No offense. I believe that people should do what they need to do." She went on to tell Stacy about some of her trials and tribulations in Japan.

"On top of all that, you won the big prize. You got to be Whispered. You seem to be handling it pretty well." Stacy wasn't ready to talk too much about her sister yet. The word 'Whispered' still had trouble rolling over her lips every time she said it. "I guess part of that must be because of the agent guarding you." Stacy had been very impressed by the Mithril personnel who had taught her self defense. That was one of the reasons that she had taken things further.

Stacy put a large black pistol on the floor. Kaname recognized that one. Sousuke used one on certain occasions. "Desert Eagle." She saw Stacy nod her head, one eyebrow raised. She licked her lips before continuing.

"I suppose that Sousuke helps me get through things," Kaname admitted. "Probably because he keeps me distracted with all the trouble he causes, the big otaku idiot!" She laughed.

"Ahhhh. Hmmm. Romanatic stuff?" Stacy looked up at Kaname's face while holding her clips of .50 Magnum ammunition against her chest.

Kaname stared at Stacy for a moment. She didn't look like an operative. Her face was that of a teenage girl, the types that love gossiping and telling secrets. "No. Well, not really. Atleast, not yet. Something special did happen though." She paused and let out a long breath."let's see... how do I put this... he's a terror." Kaname went on to give Stacy a capsular summary of Sousuke.

"You're exaggerating, I hope!" Stacy's face exhibited a mixed look of amusement and disbelief. She stopped in the middle of breaking down her second M9.

"No. I left out some of the more ridiculous stuff. I didn't want to give you a bad impression of him." Kaname shook her head.

"My God! I can't believe you never asked to have a new agent. How does he even stay in the organization? The Finance people alone must want his head. Legal too! And all the Sweepers who have to keep things quiet." She critically examined a detachable gun barrel, making certain it didn't show signs of wear.

"It's probably because he's one of the best soldiers they have." Kaname spoke with a touch of pride in her voice. Once upon a time, she would have been choosing between denial and denigration instead of pride and appreciation. "He never ceases to amaze me. He causes a lot of small headaches, but he has brought me through a number of big nightmares." Kaname didn't like dwelling too much on the bad times. But as long as any memory had Sousuke in it, she felt safe walking through it again.

Stacy looked on, obviously curious. She tried not too appear too over-eager.

"I suppose it's alright to tell you these stories. You're part of the team, so to speak." Kaname went on to tell her newest bodyguard about Khanka, and about her experience with A21. She mentioned a number of smaller scale encounters as well. Her petite blonde-companion ran a hand through her hair, a serious look on her face. There was something she wanted to ask, but thought twice about it. Kaname picked up on it. "What?" Kaname asked.

"Sousuke's one of the best Arm Slave pilots we have?" Stacy still found that difficult to fathom. A seventeen year old boy piloting those big metal beasts. Then again, she was sitting on the floor working on a submachine gun on Christmas afternoon.

"Yes," Kaname said. Then her face stiffened, She suddenly knew what Stacy must want to ask. She hung her head. "He left on a mission not long before I did. I can only assume it had to do with North Korea."

Stacy put her hand on Kaname's and squeezed. "I'll add my prayers to yours. You have to say your prayers and hope. I guess he's come to mean a lot to you, hasn't he?" She thought of her own boyfriend. What would she feel if he was in the middle of a deadly fracas?

Kaname nodded her head, trying to smile. "He had frustrated so much of the time that I never let myself see just how much interest I had in him. I still call him clueless, but it took me a while to admit my feelings to myself." Kaname sighed. "Then, when I finally realized the truth, he's back in danger... again. The big stupid head!"

Stacy checked the charge on her taser. Putting it away, she looked up again at Kaname. "But when he gets back, you'll get to pick up where you left off, right?" The young operative was taken aback by the look on Kaname's face. "He doesn't return your feelings?"

"I don't know." Kaname bit her lip and clenched her hands. "I think he was finally showing feelings for me. Or, he was finally admitting things to himself the way that I did. But, I don't even know if there will be a Tokyo for him to head back to. Even if there is, I may not be allowed to go back." She went on to bare her soul to her new companion.

"I see. I wouldn't change places with you. It sounds like your father wouldn't approve of your dating anyone. That's rough." Stacy in turn told Kaname about her life. They both went on to trade stories, wishes, dreams, and concerns about the future. "Sounds like you're really scared," Stacy observed at one point.

"Wouldn't you be? I'm Whispered. My usual protector is halfway around the world, facing who knows what. The lives of my friends are on the line." Kaname tossed her hair.

"No, not about being Whispered. About tonight's dinner guest. Your father's friend." Stacy watched Kaname's face closely.

Kaname clenched her teeth, wanting to say 'No, of course not, ah hah hah hah hah hah'. She couldn't. She didn't have time to come up with her answer.

Ayame came barreling into the room, needing her next Kaname-fix. The three girls chatted about sundry things until the doorbell rang. "She's here!" Ayame squealed happily, sprinting out of the room.

Stacy quickly placed her guns in the shopping bag, covering them with tissue paper. Before Kaname knew it, she was gone. Damn, she was like Sousuke that way. What does Mithril do, put something in the water? She couldn't bring herself to stand at first. She knew that common courtesy would dictate that she go out and meet the woman right away. First, she had to get herself to say the name. Oichi. "Let's go, girl. Class representatives and student council vice presidents don't go hiding from problems." Well, it wasn't really a problem, was it?

Kaname's head knew the answer. Her heart needed convincing.

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"Urzu-7, this is Urzu-2. Do you read me?"

Sousuke smiled. He would keep Melissa in suspense for a bit. Don't women like mystery? There would be time to talk, when he was ready.

"I repeat. Urzu-7, come in. Respond. Flight control is reporting problems."

Sousuke looked around the cockpit. He smiled. "Al, you see any problems?"

"No, Sergeant."

"Me either." Sousuke yawned, big and long.

"Urzu-7, systems indicate that a connection is established. Sousuke, if you are in any difficulty, let us know by any means possible."

"Persistent, isn't she?" Sousuke laughed.

"Sergeant?"

"Never mind, Al. It is not a problem. Shut down the link." Souuske rubbed his eyes. His emotional maelstrom had left him somewhat drained. Maybe he should put his feet up and take a quick catnap.

"I cannot do that, Sergeant. On this mission, you do not have the prerogative. Only Captain Testarossa, Cmdr. Mardukas, or Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin have the clearance to terminate intra-squad communications. There has been no notification of radio blackout."

"Shit." Sousuke scowled, thinking bold thoughts. There are too many rules. They want me to be a follower, not a leader. They feel a need to control me. That is a mistake.

"Urzu-7, do you copy?"

"This grows tedious." Sousuke switched on his microphone. "Urzu-2, this is Urzu-7. Continue your mission as planned. You have my permission. If you like, stay on the beach and take care of the signal fire. I'm heading into the jungle to do some hunting. If you're lucky, I'll let you watch me dance when I make the kill." He chuckled. That ought to play with her head some. He doubted that she would catch the reference. He didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that he knew what he was talking about.

"Sousuke! What is going on? Is there something wrong with your air-handling system? Have you're a.I. run an in-flight medical evaluation. It sounds like you need to check for oxygen deprivation."

Oxygen deprivation? Hardly! He had been deprived of just about everything else. Not any more! He reached over to one panel and unlatched the door. Smiling, he took out a number of different skin paints. They weren't needed for body camouflage now. He smeared the colors on his face, forming a mask. There was a need for emancipation. He would make a barrier that he could hide behind symbolically, liberating himself as a result. He would be free to do or say anything that he wanted it to.

His innermost self image fought against the idea. The act would help erode his identity. He would slide ever closer to savagery. He didn't pay attention to those concerns. "It's my turn. I hid behind a mask before. A numb obedient mask. That mask held me back. This one will set me free." He ran a hand through his hair. "Right Al?"

"Sergeant, I do not know."

"Of course not, Al. You are nothing but a machine. We once had a lot in common." Souuske felt the anticipation building again. He felt a need to go out and cause some havoc. This time, it would be intentional, not like the accidental trouble caused by a school boy who is caught between two worlds.

"Urzu-7, do you read me. Sousuke, what do your readouts show.?

"Urzu-2, they show that you are irritating me. I have a battle to fight. As long as you and the others do your part, you will be allowed to assist me. It is your task to make certain that no one gets in my way." Not wanting to listen to any of Sgt. Major Mao's likely responses, Sousuke turned the music up louder, unable to hear anything else but that.

'Crazy, but that's how it goes
'Millions of people, living as foes
'Maybe it's not too late
'To learn how to love
'And forget how to hate

'Mental wounds not healing...Life's a bitter shame...I'm going off the rails on the crazy train...'

"Perhaps some craziness can be good," Sousuke mused. He imagined himself at the controls of an old steam locomotive. Roaring down from the sky, rushing towards the pending battle, that analogy felt apt. Smiling, he mentally pushed the lever full ahead. He switched the tracks ahead, figuratively putting himself on a head on course with another train. The Grendel A.S. pilots on that other locomotive had no idea just what was coming their way.

'I've listened too preachers
'I've listened too fools
'I've watched all the dropouts
'Who make their own rules
'One person conditioned to rule and control
'The media sells it and you live the role...'

Yes, he had listened to his share of fools. He was the biggest fool of all, believing them and following their orders and suggestions They had helped condition him. They had sold him a role and he took it hook, line, and sinker. Not any more.

'Mental wounds still screaming
'Driving me insane
'I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

'I know that things are going wrong for me... you gotta listen to my words... yea-h!'

No. He had mental wounds before. He was merely in the process of healing him. It was finally time to become sane.

'Heirs of a cold war
'That's what we've become
'Inheriting troubles, I'm mentally numb
'Crazy, I just cannot bear
'I'm living with something that just ain't fair

'Mental wounds not healing
'Who and what's to blame
'I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!'

He had always shed so much blood and sweat taking care of everyone else's problems. He was given the jobs that no one else could do. He was always saddled with the chores that no one else wanted. Who had ever made an effort to take care of his troubles? Was it any wonder he had ended up mentally numb? It was time to look after himself.

"Sergeant, I have collated all of the incoming messages." The A.I.'s voice was finally audible as the song died down. "Aircraft are finding it difficult to locate targets and approach due to the cloud cover and strong winds near the ground. All pilots are ordered to remain on site, nonetheless. A number of helicopters are down after hard landings. Casualties are low. Urzu-2, Urzu-5, and Urzu-6 report themselves outside of the L.Z., their parachutes snagged in trees."

"idiots!" Sousuke grimaced. "They had to follow the rules, and look where they ended up. How many damn trees could there even be in this region?" None of this was actually a problem. I can handle this all on my own. "Al, what reports do we have on ground movement?"

"Sergeant, there is little data. Spotters report limited mechanized infantry, apparently working as scouts. There is no sign of armor, self- propelled guns, or tracked triple-A. "

"Arm Slaves, Al?"

"No, Sergeant. Not yet."

"Great. Really good. That means I can find something else to play with. Maybe some missiles. Those should do nice as starters." A wicked grin split his face.

"Sergeant, review of the mission parameters shows that Urzu-7 is assigned to interdiction against opposing Arm Slaves. Exclusive. No exceptions."

"Al, did I order you to read those parameters?" Sousuke's voice was little more than a growl.

"No, Sergeant."

"Did I ask to be limited in my actions and desires?" Sousuke scratched an it just behind his left ear.

"I do not know, Sergeant."

"Do I sound like a man who wants to be locked in a cage or placed on a leash?" Sousuke sneered. That would happen, regardless. The cage door was open. He had slipped the leash.

"I do not know, Sergeant."

"Al?"

"Yes, Sergeant?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Proximity alarms went off. Red light bathed the cockpit. The radar screen indicated a number of rapidly approaching objects. Air-to-air missiles. Headed in his direction. Sousuke smiled. Finally, things were getting interesting. He switched flight controls over to manual again. He would be damned if he would let some bunch of cowards on the ground shoot him down.

"Al, we're going in fast. Activate the Lambda Driver. Keep the field at minimum, awaiting my instructions. As we approach ground level, jettison the wing and initiate cushioned landing as previously instructed. Begin plotting all enemy locations. Tie your boots on tight. We are getting ready to run."

The first wave of missiles missed their mark, leaving great white trails of smoke off to one side of Arbalest. A second wave of missiles had proximity fuses, but the shrapnel rebounded harmlessly off of the glowing nimbus of light surrounding the ARX-7.

The threat monitor kept flashing. More missile were inbound. Sousuke laughed. He felt good. His enhanced senses could actually feel a slight caress from the Lambda Driver field. There was no reason to fear it. There was no reason to be nervous or to fear failure. He instinctively knew he could use the Lambda Driver like a brush, painting anything that he wanted. Was this something that Bunny Morita had expected, when the Black technology was finally tweaked just right? He didn't know. he didn't care. Some coward who killed himself, giving up the rich rewards that life offered, was beneath his notice. He had wasted those rewards himself, but had did so by clinging to the pitiful life he lead. Not any more. He had been born anew.

Sousuke laughed. He would let the other soldiers follow the rules, marching to the orders of men who were no better than they were. He had the courage to do what he wanted. He had the skill and determination to make the right decisions.

The only limitations lay in Arbalest, not in him.

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Kaname passed Stacy in the hallway.

The other girl gave her an 'OK' sign' indicating that it wasn't anyone suspicious.

It would be that woman, then. No. Not 'that wpman'. Oichi. Oichi Masako. Her father's girlfriend. Maybe his fiancé, soon enough.

"You have to deal with this, girl." Kanae straightened up her posture and tried to put on a smile. This was not the best time to be meeting someone. It was not a great time for dealing with the emotions this would dig up.

As she neared the foyer, Kaname still didn't have a glimpse of the their guest. Ayame was there, bouncing up and down happily, somewhat like an overly-excited small dog. Her father was there, holding a woman's coat, a smile on his face. He had dressed in a nice suit and tie. There was no sign of Mr. Smith.

"Ahhh. Here's Kaname." Her father turned to look in her direction. He tapped Ayame on the shoulder and waved her aside. "Her friend Stacy is with us as well." Her father would keep things secret. Or so she hoped.

Miss Masako was a short but very attractive middle-aged woman with long black hair. She wore a tasteful designer dress and a small amount of exquisite jewelry. Her body was a study in grace as she bent over to pick up a large flat box off of the floor.

"Kaname. I've so much wanted to meet you. I've heard so much about you." The voice was musical, cheerful, and vibrant. "I've brought a number of Christmas cakes. Your father told me how much you liked them."

Kaname froze. The woman was holding the box out for her, but she didn't move to take it. She remembered the cakes that her friends had brought into school. She thought about the special cake she had ordered for her and Sousuke, planning to bring it to Belles Des Belles. It felt as if her whole world was about to implode.

Kaname..." Her father tried to keep his voice pleasant. There was an edge to it. His eyes pleaded with her. That in itself was enough to distract her.

Oichi pulled the box back slowly. "I suppose we shouldn't worry about such things until after dinner."

"No. I'm sorry. It's very rude of me." Kaname reached out her hands and took the box. "It's just...I... I had ordered a cake back in Tokyo…" She pulled herself together, asking herself what Sousuke might think if he were there watching her. "I really do love Christmas pastries. It was very thoughtful for you to bring them. Thank you." She bowed.

Shunya nodded his head.

"Did someone mention cake?" Mr. Smith finally managed to make an appearance. He was introduced by Kaname's father. After that, Kaname introduced Stacy.

"So, is it turkey and all the fixings again?" Oichi asked Shunya hopefully.

"Yes. Just the way you like it. It's good to have another convert." Her father gave her a quick kiss.

Kaname fought down her emotions. For a moment, she had been very jealous of the other woman's familiarity with her father. The kiss made her feel uncomfortable, too. She remembered her father and mother kissing on occasion. Those memories seemed good and right. She also thought back to her kiss with a certain scruffy soldier.

She grew a bit irritated. It was OK for her father and that woman to kiss. But, she couldn't even bring up the subject of Sousuke. Merry Christmas. Good will to all. Bah humbug.

"Here. Let me take that. Breath deep, it might help." Stacy took the box from Kaname. She winked. "It will give you a chance to go in and talk to her."

Kaname wished she had the halisen with her. The last thing she needed was any help with this.Ayame, running in the hallway, came to a sliding stop. She held Kaname's diary in her hand. Sticking her tongue out at Kaname, she darted into the parlor. Her voice carried throughout the hallway.

"Oichi, look what I gave Kaname for Christmas. A diary. Maybe you can convince her to read from it later on."

Kaname cursed.

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Arbalest slid sideways, its large metallic feet pushing up huge mounds of dirt and vegetation.

The A.S.'s Bofors cannon shot again and again, punishing a number of light armored vehicles that had rolled into range.

"Good bye." Sousuke scratched a number of additional kill marks on the console in front of him. He laughed, wondering what the approaching Mithril soldiers must be thinking. He just killed all of their opponents before they had a chance to open fire. "The early bird gets the worm." The Mithril ground troops were damn slow. They had waited too long, no doubt following some stupid order or another.

"Al, any sign of Arm Slaves yet?" Sousuke frowned. What was taking them so long?

"No, Sergeant."

"Continue towards the missiles. That may draw them out." Sousuke piloted Arbalest towards the nearest launching pad, intent on taking out the fueling ICBM.

He was far too wound up to think. Thinking was a burden right. He only wanted to act. If he had bothered to work through things logically, he might have wondered why things seemed so easy. Where was the stiff resistance? Why were the enemy forces doing their best to down approaching aircraft, but paid little attention to the forces on the ground?

"Al, ready all missiles. We're going to destroy the Taepodong. It should burn in an attractive fashion." Sousuke smiled, showing his teeth.

"Sergeant, mission parameters state that the ICBMs should be disabled, not destroyed. That will allow the collection of materials that prove the presence of nuclear warheads."

"My parameters state otherwise, Al. The only proof I need is proof of my existence. We're doing great, Al. There's no need to mess things up with rules and plans."

A harsh buzzer annoyed Sousuke, It had been loud enough to be heard through the music. He turned down the volume. "Urzu-7, this is De Danaan control. You are ordered to resume your assigned mission. Cease your advance towards the missile launch area. The region has been scanned, and there are no Arm Slaves in the vicinity. The ground troops are in position, and will be securing the missiles momentarily. Urzu-7, do you read?" It was Lt. Kalinin's voice. He sounded both irritated and concerned.

Souske smiled.

Another voice came through the open channel. The speaker obviously didn't realize he was transmitting. "I told you this might happen. He's obviously not in his right mind. Can we shut down Arbalest remotely? We are close to meeting our objective and haven't seen a single enemy A.S. on site. Sgt. Sagara may only get in the way. " It was Cmdr. Mardukas, off course.

Sousuke became enraged. They wanted to stop him? They thought that he was in the way? Well, it was time to clue them in to a few things. "This is Urzu-7. If you wish to converse with me, you can refer to me as Lord Sagara from now on. I suggest that in the future, you do not let that stiff-necked dolt anywhere near the com panel. If anyone is in the way, he is."

"Sousuke... please... what's wrong?" It was Captain Testarossa's voice.

"That's 'Lord Sagara', not 'Sousuke'." Sousuke shook his head. Some people were so resistant to change.

"Sousuke, I know it's not you speaking. It's those medicines. Can I speak to the old Sousuke? Is he there somewhere?"

Sousuke laughed, not bothering to break the connection. It was all so funny. Tessa didn't get it. She thought she was so damn smart, but she just didn't get it. "I told you, it's not Sousuke. It's Lord Sagara. You wanted me to take those medicines. Well, I did. Now, look what you have. Me. The medicines are not controlling me. They have freed me."

"No, Sousuke. That's not true. The doctors say that effects of the procedure have gone too far. This is not who you really are. The things that make you Sousuke Sagara have been pushed aside or covered up. You have to hold on. Please. You have to." Tessa's voice was frightened

"IT'S LORD SAGARA!" Sousuke snapped off his words. "You say you want me to hold on. What you really want is to regain your hold on me! Never again! I heard that stuffy idiot talking. He has never respected me. He was waiting for me to fail and prove him right. The bastard was always so strict and by-the-numbers."

"No, Sousuke. That's not fair. You do need to hold on. We are counting heavily on you. The mission may not be a success without you." Tessa sounded truly concerned.

"IT IS NOT SOUSUKE. NOT ANYMORE. SOUSUKE WAS WEAK." Sousuke coughed. He smiled. "I know what you want to hold on to, Tessa. Me. That is not a problem. After I do what needs to be done here, maybe you'll get that chance. There are some things I feel like doing. You are a woman. You will do. Yes, you will do nicely."

Sousuke imagined Tessa naked, laying on his cot. That vision swirled into nothingness like smoke in the wind. He saw Kaname. She had her arms open. She wasn't offering her body to the returning conqueror. She was offering her heart to someone she loved. "NO!" He would not think about her. He would not think about love. Love was about sharing. He did not share. He would take whatever he wanted. That was his way now.

Memories of the kiss resurfaced. Emotions began jockeying for position. "NO. I WAS WEAK!" If he wanted to kiss her, he would, whether she wanted him to or not. Nothing would stop him. Still, he couldn't stop himself from muttering her name. "Kaname…"

A new voice came on the line. It was Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. "Sergeant Sagara. You know me. I have always respected you. I have given you my best, just as you have given me yours. That was true when we were enemies, and is true now that we are comrades."

"You do not wish to be my enemy again," Sousuke said, still torn by mixed emotions. "No one hould. My needs are non-negotiable. My goals are my own."

"Sergeant, we have always trusted one another. If there is any part of you capable of understanding that, you need to think rationally. There are millions of lives at stake. We cannot afford any mistakes right now. We suspect that there is something hidden, and we need to be alert, ready to move at a moment's notice. We need you to be in control of your faculties."

"Touching speech." Sousuke drummed his fingers ona control panel. "You were the one I most admired. If you want to help me, keep those idiots off of my back. I've got things to do." Sousuke yawned again. He was growing tired of the conversation. "You might pass along a message. No one should get in my way. No one. No matter what uniform they wear."

"Sergeant…." Kalinin was cut off.

"It's possible that your goals can be met along with mine. If you want to see that happen, you will continue to feed me Intelligence data when it becomes available. It will keep you useful. You need me. I do not need you." He switched his attention to the A.I. "Al, turn the music up again. Inform me when any tactical data comes in."

"Yes, Sergeant."

"Al."

"Sergeant?"

"Input a change in programming. From now on you will refer to me as 'Lord Sagara,' not 'Sergeant.' Is that understood?"

"Working... nomenclature accepted... affirmative, Lord Sagara."

Sousuke focused his attention on the missile looming ever larger in his view screen. He smiled. This would be satisfying.

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Ayame had run off to help her father in the kitchen.

It wasn't an altruistic move… there would be bowls to lick and food to snitch. Little sneak! That used to be her job!

Stacy has slipped out of doors, wanting to do some quick reconnoitering. The bag went everywhere that she went. Anybody who decided to mess with her would get a rather unpleasant surprise. Kaname would make double sure that the girl never had a chance to meet Sousuke. They would either fall in love at first sight, or blow each other up.

Mr. Smith lay slouched over in his chair, asleep. His snoring almost drowned out the sounds of activity in the kitchen. Kaname had to keep from scowling. That was the man who had done such a good job for her father? She was supposed to feel safe around him? Well, with his bulk, at least the chair wouldn't jump up and try to attack her or anything. Hah!

Kaname felt a little bit contrite. Maybe the man was much different out in the field. It was a holiday, after all. It was a time for rest. Yeh, right. And maybe Kaname could flap her arms and fly all the way back to Tokyo! In any case, Mr. Smith's nap and Ayame's defection meant that Kaname was left alone with Oichi.

"You really look a lot different in person, Kaname. I haven't seen any recent pictures of you." Miss Masako smiled, sitting primly on the edge of the sofa, her hands in her lap. "You look a lot like your father. Ayame takes after your mother."

"Yes." That was all Kaname said. It was all she trusted herself to say at the moment. She didn't like hearing Oichi talk about her mother. Part of her was annoyed with her behavior. Other than Sousuke, who else had she ever treated that way?

"I understand you are very involved with sports and activities at school. Student council Vice President and Class Representative. Your father is very proud of you, you know." Oichi had a very musical voice.

The woman's smile was beginning to set Kaname on edge. She clamped her mouth shut. All she managed to say was "Sure.". She almost smacked herself on the forehead. That came out really nice, didn't it? She had to pull herself together. Her father was counting on her. Somehow, that didn't seem like a very strong motivation at the moment.

Oichi kept smiling. But, there was a hint of something in her eyes. Kaname felt ashamed. The woman couldn't help that she wasn't her mother. It wasn't her fault that Kaname might be trapped here in America. Or was it? Suddenly, her mind seemed eager to find something to take offense at.

What kind of conversations had she held with Father? Might she have influenced his decision? No. Relax. That was not her father's way. Family decisions were his to make, his and his alone. It had been that way ever since his wife had died. It may even have been his way prior to her death.

"It's really nice that you're over here, now. I have never seen Ayame this excited before. She must be very happy to have her big sister home." Miss Masako could hear Ayame singing in the kitchen. Shunya was scolding her, telling her to stop sticking her fingers in everything. "She really dotes on your father, too."

Oh, and I don't, is that it? Kaname bit her lip. Why was she acting this way? Did she really feel so threatened by Oichi? The woman just happened to keep hitting on things she didn't want to talk about. Kaname was very happy to see her sister. But, she was less than pleased to be home now, realizing that she was a virtual prisoner.

"She's a good kid." The words that she didn't speak were harsh and unfair. She needs a mother. You're not her mother. No matter what you say or do. Wait. Stop it, Kaname. Show a little class.

It's not easy! So what? You think whatever Sousuke is going through is easy? You think that it must be easy for Miss Masako to be sitting here, trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip?

"Your father told me that you might come home and finish school in this country. That would be wonderful. I know how happy Ayame and your father would be. You and I could get to know one another that way too."

Kaname couldn't help herself. That had all hit a raw nerve. The rawest of nerves. "Excuse me, please. Stacy has been gone a while. I should go check and make certain she's alright." It was hard to keep from running out of the room.

She found the Mithril agent outside.

"Are you alright?" Stacy walked up to Kaname after giving the street one behind her a quick glance.

"No." Kaname sat on the front steps, her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Stacy watched her breath in the chill evening air.

"I'm acting like such a jerk. I spend a lot of my recent life yelling at a certain military misfit about his clueless and inconsiderate behavior; but, I'm acting worse than he ever has."
Kaname pulled at her scarf angrily. "I don't know what to do. I've never felt quite this way before. So many things are pressing in on me. I feel like I'm being crushed."

"So you need someone to take things out on, huh?" Stacy nodded her head. She had felt that way before herself, after her sister disappeared.

Kaname looked up. She listened as Stacy continued.

"Sure. It's not surprising, really. You've been through a lot. You've been disappointed... hurt... scared...angered. It doesn't feel like there is any way out, I bet. Maybe you feel as if the whole world is out to get you. Stacy brushed away some snow, pulled up a piece of grass, stripped it, and chewed on one end.

Kaname nodded her head.

"There's no one you can hit back at, really. You can't blame Mithril for needing Sousuke. You can't blame your father for wanting you safe. You can't blame your sister for being happy that you're here instead of Tokyo. " Stacy spat out the grass. "You're father has made decisions that really tick you off. But, you can't take things out on him."

Kaname knew what she was leading up to.

"Miss Masako seems like a nice enough lady. I think she really wants to be friends with you. But, she's an easy target, right? She's not your mother, and you worry that she may try to take her place. She cares about your father, so you figure she'll side with him against you."

Kaname nodded again. "I thought Mithril agents were supposed to be clueless and accident prone. You haven't blown anything up. You're pretty sharp too."

Stacy pulled up another blade of grass. "Not really. I've been through tough times myself. My parents adopted a refugee a year before my sister was abducted. I gave him a very hard time for a while, after my sister was gone. It took some work, but we're very close now. I had some growing up to do."

"What did you do?" Kaname marveled at the twist of fate. She had needed a bodyguard, but was fortunate that Stacy was more than that.

"My parents knocked some sense into me. They explained that they were worried about my sister too. They said that they loved me and my adopted brother. I found out that my brother spent every night at the foot of their bed, crying himself to sleep. He missed our sister too." Stacy looked off into the distance. She sighed.

Kaname sat quietly. She knew that Stacy was still dealing with the things that life had brought her. It was hard work. She had faced similar difficulties after her mother had died.

"They didn't scold me. They didn't cajole me or threaten me. My parents simply asked me to put myself in my brother's shoes. How did he feel? What did he want? How did my actions affect him? It really opened my eyes. After that, when I understood him I was really feeling about things, I spoke with him, telling him how I felt." Stacy reached up to wipe tears away. "He hugged me. He started crying. He asked me not to leave him, too. I had never felt so rotten about myself before" Stacy took out her compact, wanting to make certain that her tears didn't ruin her make-up.

Kaname started giggling. Then, she actually laughed.

"What?" Stacy looked perturbed.

"It's not about your story. It's just that when you began checking out your face, it was funny. Someone with a bag full of guns and ammunition... an agent for a secret organization... fixing her make-up. It just doesn't compute. Not after dealing with a certain walking disaster. I'm sorry. I can't help myself." Kaname smiled, feeling a weight lift off her.

"So I'm comic relief?" Stacy tried to look insulted. She couldn't help but smile too. "So, what are you going to do?" She looked at Kaname out of the corner of one eye.

"I'm going to be a friend and suggest that you go inside and use the bathroom mirror. Your face needs a lot of work." Kaname put her hand over her mouth, hiding her grin.

"What?" Stacy pretended to be outraged.

"I'm going to go inside and speak with her." Kaname said, seriously.

"Good." Stacy nodded her head. "I think it's the thing to do."

"She might have some good make-up tips..." Kaname ran when Stacy reached inside of her bag.

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"Al, target the base of the rocket booster with a flight of Javelin missiles. Ascending spread. Center reference, with flanking auxiliaries"

"Yes, Lord Sagara."

"Fire." This should be simple. The stupid missile may be tall at thirty-two meters, but it was small as ICBM's go. There was a gap between the stages, suggesting it was based on older Russian or Chinese technology. Laughable. He'd take out this one, and then the next.

Making a quick scan of the battlefield, he waited to see if anyone would challenge him. He didn't really want it to be so easy. Waves of strike aircraft were coming in, targeting the smaller No Dong missiles that were spread throughout the area. Mithril Arm Slaves were assaulting the range control and missile assembling facilities, with ground troops in support.
Enemy forces were engaging the teams headed for the two ICBMs.. Some were veering off from those areas, heading for him. Good.

"Too slow. I'll give them a chance to defend the second missile. Al, fire on the first target."

"Firing, Lord Sagara."

Sousuke watched as rockets streaked out away from Arbalest's rear add-on weapons pack. This kind of moment could really use some popcorn. Perhaps he should get it on tape, so he could watch it again later if he liked. "Al, record the visual."

"Yes, Lord Sagara."

It happened so fast. The missiles struck the lower stage of the towering rocket, causing multiple small explosions. Just as the ICBM began to crumble, the liquid propellant inside it ignited, sending a huge mushrooming cloud of fire outward. An ever-expanding cloud of flame spread across the first launch pad. Large and small fragments of metal fell, bounced, and rolled to a stop far from the site of detonation, some pf them trailing arcs of flame or sooty smoke.

High resolution images showed Mirthril troops throwing themselves under cover, just outside of the raging conflagration. Guess they wouldn't be getting any evidence out of that missile. My mistake. Sousuke laughed. That had felt so good. Imagine… his so-called superiors thought that they could give him commands. He was his own commander now. Anything they might say would better be termed a suggestion. They should be getting that point about now.

Something inside of him shouted for attention, saying that his actions were wrong. There were reasons that other people gave the orders. It was his duty and obligation to obey such orders. The enemy were the ones who flaunted the rules of decency and international law. That's why Mithril had come to stop them. There were countless innocent people whose lives were at stake. Kaname was in danger.

"No!" Sousuke shook his head "If civilaians want to mill around and live like sheep, that is their business. I don not see any of them here today, fighting to protect the ones that they love." He scowled. "Love is not important. If they will not fight for themselves, they are irrelevant. The enemy is only the enemy because they stand in my way. The people pretending to lead this mission are hiding back on the submarine. They are irrelevant, too. I am here. I will do as I please. As the strongest, I make the rules!"

Kaname was in danger! That thought sent tendrils deep within him, trying to take up root. It threatened to distract him. No, to weaken him.

"She does not command me. Those fools hiding back on Da Danaan do not command me. No one commands me!" Not a devoutly religious man, Sousuke still had his own personal relationship with the Creator. At times in his life, he wondered what a righteous God might think of him and the career he had chosen. Now, he didn't really give a damn.

For some reason, he saw images of Charleston Heston, as Moses. His head filled with scenes form 'The Ten Commandments.' Why was he seeing that? The movie did have some interesting military sequences, with chariots racing across the desert. But, Sousuke much preferred 'Planet of The Apes,' 'The Omega Man,' and 'Soylent Green!' Those were his favorite Charleton Heston movies.

None of that religious nonsense had any hold on him. If it was his conscious speaking, it could shut the Hell up! He saw himself standing on a mountain. Fire streamed outward, burning words into two huge stone tablets.

THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME

No! It was just more rules… just another way to keep people in line… just another way to limit and restrain everyone, to keep people like me from reaching their potential and getting what they deserve. He didn't need any god or gods. In the arena today, he was the god!

THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY GRAVEN IMAGES

Who says that I want to? But, if I want to worship Arbalest and the power it gives me, I will. If I want to place my faith in weapons that I can see and touch and feel, I will do just that! Who is going to stop me?

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

To Hell with that! I'll damn whomever I want. I'll curse anyone and everyone who stands in my way.

REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY

Today is the Sabbath day. This will be a day that no one forgets. I will make sure of that.

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

My father and mother are dead. They followed the rules. They never had a chance. I will honor them by being everything that I was destined to be.

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Wrong. The verse in the Quran makes more sense. 'Take not life, which God has made sacred, except by way of justice and law.' I will be the one to decide what is just or not.

THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY

I will take whatever I want. If a woman becomes a widow, then it won't be adultery. It was irrelevant to him anyway. The women that would serve his needs were not married. Grinding his hands into his eyes, Sousuke forced away images of Kaname.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

If something is mine, it will not be stealing when I take it. I will decide what does or does not belong to me. No one else's opinion matters to me.

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR

There will be no need to lie. If my neighbor is foolish enough to challenge my authority, I will settle that argument swiftly, by removing him... his house... and the whole neighborhood if necessary.

THOUGH SHALT NOT COVET.

Covet. Desiring something that God has given to another. It is not a problem. Kaname does not belong to anyone else. God hadn't given her to anyone. "Enough!" Sousuke shook his head violently, trying to shake away the thoughts of Kaname. They kept pulling at him. They kept forcing him to question himself. "No more!" The kiss. Her arms around him. The feel of her head on his shoulder. The sense of someone caring for him as he is. "As... I... was…" Sousuke slammed his arms down hard, without shutting off the waldo. The Arbalest made the same motion, hitting only air.

"Screw Kaname!" The violent verbal denouncement had two effects. Sousuke felt frightened momentarily, as if he had witnessed something horrendous that he was powerless to act against. He also felt a tightening in his loins. "Yes, screw Kaname. She will serve whatever purpose I desire, whether or not she wishes to." He focuses on the battlefield again. "Al, target the second Taepodong missile. Ready the next flight of Javelins."

"Targeting, Lord Sagara. Missile lock complete."

The war going on inside of Sousuke proved more challenging than the one he faced outside. His conscience tried desperately to pull itself out of the refuse bin. Words, thoughts, arguments, and pleas began inserting themselves into his conscious mind.

Grateful for a reprieve, his attention was drawn to the forward view screen.

Two huge trails of fire began heading skyward, just off to the side. Smoke billowed out from their bases, obscuring the ground around them. Sousuke didn't need to hear the A.I.'s report to know what was happening.

"Two No Dong missiles have launched, Lord Sagara."

So, those idiots couldn't get the job done without him, could they? It was a damn good thing he was standing right here, wasn't it!

Bringing around his Bofors without disengaging the automatic targeting of the remaining ICBM, Souske called out a battle cry and fired, knocking both missiles from the sky. Nothing could get by him!

"I hope you all take note of my success," he said into his microphone. "Had I been listening to all of you, two missiles would be on their way to their targets. Cretins!"

The distraction could have defeated his emotions' attempts to take hold. It didn't. The savage aspect of him was triumphant, without a doubt. But, the civilized part was relieved---those missiles would not have any chance of harming Kaname.

The threat detector started beeping, calling for attention. Missiles incoming... low altitude... ATGMs! He had been so caught up with extraneous thoughts, he had forgotten about the ground troops. Idiots. They are just wasting their weapons. I should let them flail away impotently, but I find their existence annoying. Their efforts are an affront.

"Al, expand the force shield. Concentrate the force energies in your finger tips, pistol style, as discussed earlier."

"Lambda Driver field stable. Energies directed as ordered, Sergeant."

Sousuke took control of the Lambda Driver with his mind. "Bang!" Energies shot forth from Arbalest';s extended hand, keeping a tenuous connection to the field surrounding the Arm Slave. Rapidly advancing anti- tank vehicles and APCs were tossed about like leaves in a whirlwind. "Bang!" The troops in concealment could not hide from Arbalest's thermal imaging devices. They had no defense against the force that wiped them clean from this world.

That's better. That's much better.

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It was very difficult for Kaname.

Her emotions were all tied in knots. She was feeling embarrassed. It was hard to find the words for inviting Oichi to speak with her. The older woman was sitting on the couch, in the process of being regaled with stories from Mr. Smith's days on the force.

"So I said to this snot nose kid, 'Move, and your father will be shocked to find out he has a daughter instead of a son.' Man, did that boy ever run. He knew that I wasn't the type to mess around. We didn't have too many more jaywalkers at the college campus again, I can assure you!"

Kaname was less than pleased to see a half dozen empty beer bottle near the man. She felt so safe. If only Sousuke were here. There were so many things that he could learn from such a font of knowledge and champion of the peace.

"Well, I'm certain the community finds itself in your debt, Mr. Smith. No doubt the boy's father was very glad he still had a son." Miss Masako was a real trooper. Her smile hadn't faded a bit. Kaname owed her another debt. No one should be left alone that long with a man so happy to talk about himself.

"Hah! His son probably learned his disrespect of the law from him. If everybody was like you, it would be a different story. Most people are jerks, you know? When there's a burglar prowling around their house, they are happy to see you. Otherwise, they would just as soon spit on you. That's why I took my expertise and years of experience into the bodyguard business. Nothing but happy and satisfied customers."

Kaname grimaced. Happy happy. Joy joy. It was time. She couldn't put it off any longer. "Mr. Smith, I hope you will excuse me. Miss Masako, could I speak with you for a minute?" Kaname bowed.

"Sure. Go ahead darlin.' My stories will wait." Mr. Smith finished off his remaining bottle.

Oichi looked at Kaname uncertainly, letting her guard down some. Yes. Certainly."

"Do you mind walking outside? I could do with some fresh air." Kaname had no doubt that the older woman would catch her meaning.

"That sounds good. I need to stretch my legs some." She looked over at Mr. Smith, then back at Kaname. Kaname just shook her head.

Mr. Smith made no effort to accompany them. He did speak up, however. "Don't worry. The streets are safe. You won't run into any trouble out there, not on Christmas. But, if something does come up, one of you come back and let me know. I'll be ready."

Walking down the hallway, Oichi coughed into her hand and then spoke to Kaname. "That is the man that your father hired to look after you?"

"Yes, Ma'am. It certainly is." Kaname couldn't keep the contempt out of her voice.

"I will have to have a talk with him then." Miss Masako's voice was so firm, that Kaname couldn't help but smile. It was marvelous to think of her father getting a good talking to.

As the two women passed through the door outside, Kaname gave a subtle hand signal to Stacy. The blond girl and her shopping bag would follow behind at an appropriate distance. Kaname grinned. She was having Sousuke withdrawals. She almost hoped that someone would try something, just to see the look on his face when a teenage girl shoved the barrel of a .50 caliber pistol up his nose. She sighed, wishing Sousuke was there with her.

Kaname and Oichi walked a few blocks. Kaname tried to find the first words, since they might be the most important. Oichi was clever enough to wait. The truth, Kaname. Just tell her the truth. Everything, except Mithril and world events.

"I'm really sorry. I acted like a jerk back there. I had no excuse for my bad behavior." The words all came out in a rush.

"Yes, you were quite the jerk, alright." Oichi agreed amiably. She knew exactly what tack she wanted to take.

"What?" Kaname's pride spoke first. She had expected polite acceptance and solemn forgiveness.

"You were quite the jerk." Miss Masako stopped and waved her arm. "Back there. We're not back there any more, though."

"Yes. I know. I just wanted..." Kaname ran down. There were so many issues. She almost felt like some kind of loser or weakling, letting things bother her like this. Despite the hard times she had once faced, she often found herself looking at other people with issues like they were some kind of pariah. Now that the shoe was on the other foot again, she had an uncomplimentary view of herself.

"To start over?" Oichi asked hopefully. Her eyes were vulnerable at that moment.

Kaname realized just how much her father's girlfriend wanted Kaname to like her. It touched her heart."Oh yes. Will you forgive me? Please?" Kaname's words spilled out, as much a plea as an apology.

"When do you need an answer?" The older woman tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't. The look on Kaname's face had been precious. "Yes, I will be glad to."

"Thank you. I feel so much better. I behaved really badly. I... I..."

"Felt a little threatened? Because I'm not your mother?" Miss Masako had expected this. By all accounts, Kaname was more resistant to change than Ayame was.

"Yes." Kaname felt better immediately, having that out in the open.

"Well, to be honest, I felt the same way."

"What?" Kaname stopped walking, uncertain of what she had just heard.

"I felt a little worried too, Kaname. I'm not your mother. I was afraid that you'd react to me just the way you did. No, that's not really it. I was really afraid you would feel that way, but put on some false show for my benefit." Oichi looked Kaname in the eyes. "Your behavior hurt me, but at least it was honest. I see why your father gets so angry with you some times. But, I also see why he is so proud, too. It took a big heart to apologize like this."

"I'm not usually like that." Kaname found herself wanting Oichi to believe her. She also found herself wanting to talk to an adult about the way she felt. "It's just that I've been so stressed, lately. So many things have happened. It seems like I haven't had a say in anything."

Miss Masako nodded her head. "I know what that feels like, sometimes. I take it that your father's desire to keep you here with him and Ayame doesn't sit well with you?"

"No. I love my father. Under different circumstances, I would be happy to be here now. It's... there's... it's just so many things!" Kaname found herself shaking. The world seemed to be pushing in on her again. She wanted to find a peaceful place to rest, but her problems followed her even closer than Ayame usually did.

Oichi put a hand on Kaname's arm. "I won't pry. You don't owe me any more explanation than you've already given me. But, if you want to talk, I'm a good listener."

Kaname stared at Miss Masako. She felt a great welling of gratitude building up inside of her. She nodded her head, then tossed her hair. It was time to stop wallowing in self pity. "My father has a thing about boys. He doesn't want me dating. He won't even consider the thought of me and a boy in a room together." Kaname kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. "I wonder if he can even remember being a teenager."

Oichi smiled. "I had a father like that. If a boy even walked too close to our house in Osaka, he'd run to grab his grandfather's sword. There was quite a show the day I hid it under my bed." She shook her head reminiscing. "He just wanted to protect me. He didn't want to lose his little girl. But, we all have to grow up some time... some of use earlier than others, right?"

"Yes," Kaname answered, realizing that her father must have told Oichi about her earlier life.

"So, what's his name?" Oiche's look was shrewd.

The question came right out of the blue. Kaname found herself momentarily tongue-tied. "Uh... I... who?" Her innate response was to deny everything.

"The boy you couldn't possibly have any interest in." Oichi smiled. She had been there too.

"Sousuke." Kaname's voice was quiet. Looked down at her feet, she grabbed the edge of her skirt with one hand.

"Did the two of you have a fight before you left?" Miss Masako wondered what had Kaname feeling so down all of a sudden.

Kaname shook her head. "No. We spend a lot of time together, but I never really thought of him romantically. When we each finally started realizing something, he was called away and I had to come here. We had planned to spend time together, figuring things out. I don't know if we will ever have that chance again."

"Called away?" Oichi raised one eyebrow.

"Yes. But I really can't talk about that." Kaname kicked herself. Feeling sad was no excuse for being stupid.

"You're afraid your father won't let you go back? You wonder if the opportunity is lost forever? Either because something might happen to him, or because the two of you may have too much time oi think?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking about things a lot. I miss him. I would give anything to be able to see him and know he was safe." Kaname bit her lip. There she goes again!

Oichi wisely didn't probe any further in the one direction. "But you don't think your father will trust you to go back to Tokyo on your own?"

"He doesn't even want to hear about Sousuke. That would be bad enough by itself; but, with things the way they are…" Kaname ran down. She couldn't even trust herself to speak. "He made it clear long ago that I couldn't date until college. I don't even know if he'll give me his blessing then!"

Miss Masako stood looking at Kaname, wondering if she should ask certain questions. It was obviously doing Kaname some good to talk to someone. As much as she loved Shunya, she knew that his strength was not as a conversationalist. At least not with his daughters, whom he felt duty- bound to raise in the proper traditions. "Something else is worrying you. Not just your father's inflexibility and apparent insensitivity to your desires. More than the fear that you won't get to go back to your school and your friends."

"Yes. But... I..." Kaname wished that she could share everything.

"You can't talk about it?" Oichi smiled, letting Kaname know it was OK.

"Yes. I wish I could... but..."

"That's alright. I think we both need to look on the brighter side. It's Christmas Day, after all. As my present to you, when the time is right, I will talk to your father." Oichi smiled, seeing the look on Kaname's face.

"Really?" Kaname looked ready to do cartwheels.

"Yes. How does March work for you? February?"

Kaname smiled. She was beginning to grow fond of Miss Masako. "Oh... whenever... it's not as if I'm in a hurry..."

"I'll see what I can do. I can be pretty persuasive when I put my mind to it. For all of his bark and bite, your father is just a big puppy dog at heart. Maybe it would be easier if I just put him on a leash!" Oichi arranged her hair a bit.

Kaname gaped. She would never have seen her father as a puppy dog. Oichi smiled. Kaname grinned in return. "Do you have my father well trained?" Kaname asked, incredulously. Her father? Trained?

"One does one's best," Miss Masako said with a wave of her hand. "But, to be honest, it's not because of anything I've done. It's because he cares for me, and I care for him."

Kaname thought that she could be happy that her father had found someone to care about. He deserved to have someone care about him. He had put the pain of his wife's passing behind him and was looking to move forward. "Hmmmpppfff. I just usually use a halisen." Kaname chuckled.

Oichi smiled. "You might just find that honey works better than vinegar." She smiled. "Most of the time..."

"Not with Sousuke!" Kaname shook her head. Her words had been very forceful.

"Really? Did you ever think that Sousuke may have wired your father the money to bring you here?" Oichi raised one eyebrow. It felt good to joke with Kaname.

Despite all of her concerns, Kaname laughed a beautiful laugh..