A/n I do not own labyrinth, David Bowie, etc., etc. And in case you don't
know some of the things, like Hobo Joe or Pufnstuf or an anteater, ferret,
anteater, etc. etc. go to 'cuz I have a page
just for you people! Plus there's fun stuff. So go there.
Sarah and Hobo-Joe were wandering in a maze of compost heaps when a terrible moan came from behind one of the heaps. Hobo-Joe, who knew the terrors of the Corn Maze A-Doom, ran off. Sarah went over to the heaps. She found a frightful scene.
An H.R Pufnstuf was hanging upside down from a tree, being tormented by three little Teletubbies.
Sarah didn't have the heart to leave him. She waited until the Teletubbies ran off for a makeover party. Then she untied the ropes that bound him.
"Pufnstuf...friend." The H.R. Pufnstuf smiled at Sarah adoringly, and so she gently patted his nose.
"Do you know the way to the center of the Corn Maze A-Doom?" she asked him.
"Pufnstuf...lost," Pufnstuf replied sadly.
Sarah sighed. Around her, the rustling of leaves sounded like hissing voices.
S-s-s-even days, they seemed to say. Wrong movie! S-s-s-six hours
Two doors stood nearby. Sarah chose the one that lid into a dimly lit forest. Giant, twisted trees had grown there forever, trees that reached higher than Sarah could see.
"Not...good," Pufnstuf said, looking nervously around him.
Sarah laughed. "Imagine a great, trippy thing like you being frightened! I'm sure it's perfectly safe here. Anyway, if you're afraid, it's a good thing. Things are not always what they seem in this place."
In this case, they were.
Pufnstuf suddenly let out a girlish fan girl shriek and ran off. Then there was silence.
"Pufnstuf?" Sarah looked around, but Pufnstuf had vanished to chase after an Orlando Bloom sighting. She searched everywhere for him, but it seemed as though the earth had opened him up and swallowed him whole, like a giant cupcake.
Again, Sarah was alone.
Sarah was drawing nearer to the barn every minute, and Billy Bob was starting to worry. So he changed overalls for the fourth time that day and visited Hobo-Joe again.
"Here" Billy Bob told Hobo-Joe, handing him a piece of cornbread that glowed like a small star. "Give her this."
"What is it?" Hobo-Joe asked.
"It's special cornbread. Comp rend? Speeeeciaal cornbread?" Billy Bob winked. "Give her this, of I will plunge you into the Manure Field of Eternal Stench. And if she kisses you," he added, feeling particularly clever, "I will plunge you both in."
"I won't do nothing to hurt the little missy!" Hobo-Joe cried. But Billy Bob gazed into his smoldering, limpid eyes, and Hobo-Joe succumbed to his masculine charms.
In the forest, Sarah came upon a band of strange anteaters that were able to take their heads off and toss them around. Sarah found this most peculiar, and suffered a sever headache when she couldn't do it. Yet they seemed friendly and willing to help.
The anteaters promised to take Sarah to the barn. But the deeper they traveled into the forest, they more she realized they didn't even know what a barn was, let alone how to find one.
Try as she might, Sarah could not get away from them.
Finally, she ran. The creatures chased her like a rabid army of crazed fan-girl stalkers, until she came to a wall that blocked her path. She looked around wildly for a way to escape.
"Up here!" a voice called.
It was Hobo-Joe. He lowered a rope to her, and she climbed to safety.
"Hobo-Joe!" Sarah cried in delight. "You came back!"
"No! Don't kiss me!" Hobo-Joe screamed. But it was too late-she already had laid a big smacker on him. The wall gave away, and Sarah and Hobo-Joe slid down the steep incline until they landed on something soft and large. It was Pufnstuf.
Sarah and Hobo-Joe were wandering in a maze of compost heaps when a terrible moan came from behind one of the heaps. Hobo-Joe, who knew the terrors of the Corn Maze A-Doom, ran off. Sarah went over to the heaps. She found a frightful scene.
An H.R Pufnstuf was hanging upside down from a tree, being tormented by three little Teletubbies.
Sarah didn't have the heart to leave him. She waited until the Teletubbies ran off for a makeover party. Then she untied the ropes that bound him.
"Pufnstuf...friend." The H.R. Pufnstuf smiled at Sarah adoringly, and so she gently patted his nose.
"Do you know the way to the center of the Corn Maze A-Doom?" she asked him.
"Pufnstuf...lost," Pufnstuf replied sadly.
Sarah sighed. Around her, the rustling of leaves sounded like hissing voices.
S-s-s-even days, they seemed to say. Wrong movie! S-s-s-six hours
Two doors stood nearby. Sarah chose the one that lid into a dimly lit forest. Giant, twisted trees had grown there forever, trees that reached higher than Sarah could see.
"Not...good," Pufnstuf said, looking nervously around him.
Sarah laughed. "Imagine a great, trippy thing like you being frightened! I'm sure it's perfectly safe here. Anyway, if you're afraid, it's a good thing. Things are not always what they seem in this place."
In this case, they were.
Pufnstuf suddenly let out a girlish fan girl shriek and ran off. Then there was silence.
"Pufnstuf?" Sarah looked around, but Pufnstuf had vanished to chase after an Orlando Bloom sighting. She searched everywhere for him, but it seemed as though the earth had opened him up and swallowed him whole, like a giant cupcake.
Again, Sarah was alone.
Sarah was drawing nearer to the barn every minute, and Billy Bob was starting to worry. So he changed overalls for the fourth time that day and visited Hobo-Joe again.
"Here" Billy Bob told Hobo-Joe, handing him a piece of cornbread that glowed like a small star. "Give her this."
"What is it?" Hobo-Joe asked.
"It's special cornbread. Comp rend? Speeeeciaal cornbread?" Billy Bob winked. "Give her this, of I will plunge you into the Manure Field of Eternal Stench. And if she kisses you," he added, feeling particularly clever, "I will plunge you both in."
"I won't do nothing to hurt the little missy!" Hobo-Joe cried. But Billy Bob gazed into his smoldering, limpid eyes, and Hobo-Joe succumbed to his masculine charms.
In the forest, Sarah came upon a band of strange anteaters that were able to take their heads off and toss them around. Sarah found this most peculiar, and suffered a sever headache when she couldn't do it. Yet they seemed friendly and willing to help.
The anteaters promised to take Sarah to the barn. But the deeper they traveled into the forest, they more she realized they didn't even know what a barn was, let alone how to find one.
Try as she might, Sarah could not get away from them.
Finally, she ran. The creatures chased her like a rabid army of crazed fan-girl stalkers, until she came to a wall that blocked her path. She looked around wildly for a way to escape.
"Up here!" a voice called.
It was Hobo-Joe. He lowered a rope to her, and she climbed to safety.
"Hobo-Joe!" Sarah cried in delight. "You came back!"
"No! Don't kiss me!" Hobo-Joe screamed. But it was too late-she already had laid a big smacker on him. The wall gave away, and Sarah and Hobo-Joe slid down the steep incline until they landed on something soft and large. It was Pufnstuf.