Science of Attraction 7
IceAngelDarkMoon
***Hey all!! No I am not dead, in your face!! MWHAHAHAH!!! (Sorry I'm in a very feisty mood, I wanna fight someone!!) Sorry about the long wait for the next chapter, but compared to the stories I read, I update a lot and fast! I have been very busy lately, but I guess that's part of life! I am so happy, I got the Yu-Gi-Oh 'Music to Duel By' CD. I've been rocking to it all the time!! I got told by a whole bus of kids to shut up because I was singing along at one in the morning (hey it's not my fault if not everyone is a morning person! Or on a sugar high!).***
~~~~Thanks for all the reviews I have more than I ever hoped for!! Please review again I think I'm starting to get to know some of you readers. I really like to see what some people who have been reading this for a while think! ~~~~
~~~~~A small note I wanted to add is that 'My December', one of my favorite songs, is on the Linkin Park Reanimation CD. But I like the version I got off the computer better, it's less techno and more soulful!! I love that song!!~~~~~
This is SHONEN-AI, and I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Please do not take my plot I came up with it myself!! And I am very proud of it, thank you very much! I want to apologize ahead of time for some of the words used in this chapter and any other that is offensive, but I'm trying to make this as realistic as it can get (yes I am aware that this is fan fiction, but I think some stories are just too lovey dovey and totally miss the entire prejudice factor!)
Joey found that the cool air outside helped to calm him as he made his way home through the fading light. It seemed a lot later than it really was, winter was almost upon the whole town. Joey knew he loved Seto, but he knew that his father would kill him if he ever found out (wonder why I keep saying that *_*). Joey still didn't know when his hate had abated and like had even come into play. When had like turned to love, had he even just like Seto or just skipped to love? There was something Seto and he seemed to share, but Seto had not told him, it was as if Seto was a little afraid to admit something. There were still several others more pressing matters Joey had to think about. One was how was he going to get away from his father? He loved his father, he probable always would, but he new that Seto was right and he didn't need to put up with the beatings. He still didn't understand why his father beat him though, his father always said it was because he (Joey) had been bad and his father loved him enough to discipline him. Who was right his own flesh and blood, his father, pr his love, Seto? The other matter was how he would act the next day at school? Would he still through lots of insults and start fights? But what would happen if the fight ended up like they did that afternoon and couldn't resist kissing the other again? What would Joey's friends think if or when they found out? Joey was pretty sure Yugi liked his own Yami and would be supportive of his best friend mo matter what he personally thought. A sudden thought hit Joey; did liking Seto really make him 'gay'? He had never really thought any other guy was cute, or remotely attractive. Maybe if you believed that true love, and it didn't chose genders, maybe it wasn't gay.
He felt his insides begin to crawl as soon as he saw the roof of his house come into view. He didn't want to face his father tonight; he just wanted to fall into a dreamless sleep. He never liked to dream, all he dreamt were nightmares of his past and new beatings he was sure were to come. The only good dream he had had in a long time was that angel and it wasn't very often but it was like entering a sanctuary for a while. He only wished that he had the dream with the angel this night.
Joey knew he wouldn't have it so bad as he stepped into his house (notice I didn't say 'home'). He could tell his father had not consumed very much alcohol so far. But he was watching MTV and that always led to a lecture about proper upbringing. It would not involve a beating but it would be painful nonetheless, most of the time he didn't agree with what his father was saying.
"That you Joey?" His father called from the couch, not even looking back to see if it was. His father could tell by the shuffle of the feet and that they stopped when his name was called. "It's amazing what they will put on TV these days. They show is following these couples preparing for a their weddings, and one set is two guys! (I really did see this on TV I don't own this either, but I thought this would add to the plot.) Can you imagine that, them thinking it is all right for them to feel that way for each other. I agree with the ones mother who doesn't even want to be associated with her son. That's the way it should be, all the queer (sorry just getting his feelings across please don't get mad!) gotten rid of or set straight. There is no reason they can't see the light of finding a girl. That is just about the most disgusting thing in the world, two of the same gender pretending to be in love to get attention. It is so sick! Don't you agree?" His voice held all the disgust that he felt, and Joey had to work not to flinch at the hatred.
"I...I...I think it's not right, but they don't chose to be that way. There is something that is wrong internally." Each word burned his throat as it left. He had heard them before but now they hurt so badly. Who would ever chose to live through all this pain and sorrow if they didn't have to. But he knew that true love was the most important thing in the world, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
"Naw, I think they chose it for all the attention. I swear they could like women if they had to, I'm sure that if you threatened one they would renounce their ways. I think they should all be beat until they see the errors they've made!" His fathers voice was still a little sharp but he was still watching the TV intently.
"But what about true love? What if they really do find their true love, and it turns out that they are the same gender? What then, is it still wrong?" Joey's voice was just barely keeping the pain at bay. He wanted to know but was so afraid of the answer his father would throw at him.
"You wouldn't be getting any strange ideas would you?" His voice held an edge and Joey could feel his anger rising. Joey knew that he couldn't blow it, or he would die a very painful death.
"No, I was just wondering. I would never ever even consider looking at another guy. I w...w...would kill myself first." His stomach even hurt from they lie. He couldn't believe how much his heart hurt while he said those words. He was just so afraid and scared. He wished that Seto were there right then, holding him close and whispering comfortingly to him. He didn't know how long he could keep up this facade. It hurt almost like any really hard beating from his father, but this was almost like ripping his soul out.
"That's good to hear. And no I don't think there is a way for true love to be both the same gender. I don't believe in true love. Or miracles or anything supernatural, and you shouldn't either, it puts weird ideas in your head!" His fathers voice went back to its normal range and the homophobic headed towards the kitchen to get some more to drink. Joey took this as his queue to leave and he took it at a run. He bounded up the stairs two even three at a time to get to his 'room'. He flung himself down on his 'bed' and just fumed how could people carry such hatred for someone who was the same in almost everything except one. How could people hate so much over true love and something the person never really wanted in the first place? Joey had never thought he would be one of the accused, he had never been against the thought, but never openly supported it.
Then from the despair that was growing inside him came another thought that he had pushed away before and now wanted to look at again. What if Seto was lying, what if it was all just a way to hurt him? Was the kiss just a tool to get him to hand over his heart so it could be toyed with and then broken? Everything that had happened was getting all scrambled in his head now after that 'talk' with his dad. He knew he should have told Seto how he felt, and then ask Seto how he felt about all of it. But with Seto finding out about the skeleton in his family closet he hadn't had time. Then they had made that promise not to even tell each other how they felt until Joey was free. That was one fact to support the idea that Seto loved him too, he would not have tried to help Joey so much if he was only going to break his heart.
Joey decided to not worry about it and just go to sleep, he had enough problems without making up new ones. The last thing he thought about before sleep finally claimed him was the feel of Seto's lips against his.
~~~~~~~Dream/ Flashback/ Nightmare (you'll understand when you read!)~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm leaving Todd, I can't take it anymore. All you do is drink your life away; you aren't the man I gave my heart to. I hope you die from all that intoxication. Enjoy the life you chose. Remember that, you chose this every single time a drop of any of that vile substance slid down your throat. Remember you chose this when you lost control and hit your own daughter!" Joey was watching his mother scream at his father. Her eyes were wild and mad, his father looked stupefied. Todd couldn't believe his wife was leaving him over one incident. Joey could feel all the fear welling in his chest, what was happening to his family? He looked up at his mom with tears in his eyes as he continued to hold ice to his sister's small bruised cheek. He could see as the understanding hit his father across the cheek. His father barred his teeth and punched his mother in the face. Joey screamed but he could do nothing, he was too little. His mother had blood leaking out of a small cut on her cheek bone, already a bruise was beginning to peak out.
"You will never leave this house woman!" His father bellowed, and Serenity whimpered in Joey's arms. Joey still couldn't believe it, first his father had smacked Serenity for crying, then his mother had gotten mad, and now his father had hit his mother. He was use to his father getting loud and uncontrolled but he had never hurt anyone before. "I forbid you to eave and the kids stay here! You have no where to go, I'll track you down and get you if you leave!" Joey's father's face was crimson in his fury; he had froth forming on his lips.
"I don't care what happens to me, but I can't let this happen to the children, I will not let you hurt them!" She screamed and slammed the door open and grabbed Serenity from Joey. His mother had already tossed some clothing in the back of her car and had the engine running. She reached for Joey, but his father grabbed him from behind. His father picked him up and started to shake him around like a rag doll. Joey felt like his brain was about to come out of his head. Then suddenly he lost all the feeling he had and every thing became dark. That was all he remembered of the night his parents had decided to break up the marriage. He had woken up in the hospital with some mild head trauma, and was released a day after he awoke. His mother had moved in with her mother until the day at court came.
The nightmare skipped all that and went ahead to the day in court. Joey was now an outsider watching what had happened replay itself while adding in the missing pieces. Joey made the biggest mistake ever in his life that day, one he regretted every single day and spent most of his time wondering what would have happened if it he done like he knew was right. Joey's father had threatened him in the one time they had been left alone together. Joey was to say he wanted to live with his father or 'daddy would kill mommy and Serenity' were his father's exact words. Joey couldn't let anything happen to his mother and younger sister, they were the two things he loved the most in the world. He could see his mother pleading her case before the judge, begging for custody of both her children. But she didn't know that their father had paid off the judge to grant him custody. The last thing was to have the children speak. Serenity was too little to even form sentences but Joey didn't have the same luxury. He could see himself going up to the stand (he is now his older self watching what happened in the past like a ghost. The entire dream before this he was reliving it. Sorry it's confusing, but it is a dream!).
"No, don't do it!" He screamed at the image of his younger self. But like in all the movies the little boy heard none of what Joey was screaming. "Please," a tear crept from Joey's eye and down his cheek, "please, don't do it. For the love of me don't do it." Joey ran forward to stop the boy physically, but his hand passed through the boy, right were the heart would have been if his were real. He felt his knees give out from under him and he was on the floor of the dream, unable to do anything but watch as his former self ruined his life, again.
The little blonde apparition took the witness stand and looked at the courtroom. There were tear stains lining his face, but he was not crying now, he had to be brave for his mother and sister. He took a deep breath and looked at his mother who was expecting him to chose her. He could feel the temptation pulling at him but then he glanced at his father. His father glared at him and glanced at Serenity and his wife to remind Joey of their fate if he chose wrong. In a high, fear ridden voice he stuttered, "I...I...I ch...chose my f...f...father." His mother looked like her heart had been ripped from her chest, and Joey couldn't blame her. The little boy had to fight himself from changing his mind. His father came over and whispered in his ear.
"Good job, they're safe... for now." And walked away leaving Joey weak kneed knowing it was too late to change his answer, and he knew it was the wrong choice.
Present day Joey could feel all that pain again inside. He felt it every time he had this dream; it had been plaguing him since it had happened. Just when he thought that this time he would give in to the despair a pair of arms came snaking out from behind him. He turned around quickly, hoping against hope it was whom he thought it was.
There holding him was his angel, blue eyes and all. He buried his head in the folds of the celestial beings robe and wept out all his pain.
"She never questioned my decision, she just left! She never wrote, or called or anything! She just ceased to be in my life! How could she do that, didn't she know I was pressured into that? Why, why, why?" He knew it sounded like a five ear old, but he didn't care. His mother had left that day and never talked to him since. He hated her for that, but loved her all the same. The angel just held him and whispered soothing things to him. Finally the tears started to stop and the heavenly creature pulled away a little to talk to him.
"It wasn't your fault, she just felt you wanted that. She didn't know what to do anymore than you did. There is still time to fix things if you want to. But now we have to work on the bigger problem." The thing looked right into his eyes then. Joey still couldn't see his face, it was still in shadow, but the eyes were almost glowing. "You have to save yourself from your father, or he will kill you." The truth when spoken like that was terrifying but more persuasive than any circumnavigating. But just then an annoying beeping could be heard.
Suddenly Joey was back in reality and the angel was gone. It was time for another day at school, but this morning he could feel it was going to be different. Now with the light of the morning he could see that Seto's love was true, he just hoped that there wasn't anything 'hiding in the light' (from Linkin Park, I know but I love that song!!). He also felt the much more urgent need to escape from his father. If only his angel were real.
TBC
I'm already working on the next part. I hope you enjoyed this part, because it was never supposed to be either, it just sort of happened, but then so did the pond scene! I really was planning on writing about school but I suddenly got new inspiration! Please review; tell me what you want to see happen at school!! I already have a request that I am trying to get in. IADM