By NoNoMoon and Chica
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or things associated with it. That, my friends, is why life sucks. Oh yeah, this is a spin-off. So don't get any little (or big) ideas into your little (or big) heads. Enjoy! P.s. Nikki is our character, along with the others we happened to invent. SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!
"Open your textbooks to page 672, chapter IV. You should have read chapters I through III over your summer break. Now-," McGonagall began.
At this, Nikki raised her hand, looking around at her fellow students. "Ah... very nice, these... textbooks... so, heh, where did you get these, exactly?" she whispered loudly.
McGonagall, however, was ignoring Nikki. She continued with her lesson, "Chapter IV, When Baboon Transfigurations Go Wrong. Now, you have all been provided with a baboon, which we shall transfigure AFTER we learn why we shouldn't."
By now, Nikki was waving both her hands in the air rather frantically, making screeching sounds in hopes of getting McGonagall to notice her.
"One possible side effect," McGonagall announced, "is making a subconscious screeching noise. This is a painful process for all those involved, so I recommend that you do not make a mistake."
Nikki jumped up and down, waving her arms in an attempt at what Ron could only assume was flying.
"Another side effect," McGonagall made the attempt not to raise an eyebrow, "is indecent public behavior."
The class slowly turned in their desks to look at Nikki, who was jumping on her desk. Harry, being the idiot he is, muttered to Ron, "why is everyone staring at Nikki?"
"The most deadly symptom, however," McGonagall looked over her eyeglasses at the class, "is the final stage- involuntary, but complete, manslaughter."
At this, the class let out a scream and ran from their desks, pounding at the door.
"Ron," Harry screamed, "I think there's something wrong with Nikki!!!"
"TAKE YOUR SEATS!" McGonagall screamed, frustrated. The class did so, eying Nikki warily. She continued, "Is there a problem, Miss Harply?"
"FINALLY! I thought you'd NEVER ask!" Nikki grinned happily at her teacher. "I never thought you'd be up to the old Silent Treatment, Auntie M, but you're one heck of a player! I beat you though-,"
"Miss Harply, you must be mistaken. I do not lower myself to playing games with my students. I was merely giving an example of what happens to-,"
"Suuuure, Auntie. We all know your secret," Nikki winked. "Anyways, how much...exactly...were we supposed to read over the summer?"
"Six hundred and seventy-one pages, of course. You should learn a lesson from Miss Granger here. She, of course, read beyond the assigned reading. I have here her reading schedule, broken into 50 pages per book per day."
"Ah. And...yeah...what textbook is this, exactly?"
"101 Painful Ways You Can Die During Transfigurations. All sixth-years must cover this material, of course."
"Right. Well... can I borrow your copy?"
"DETENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Nothing says 'I love you' like detention, Auntie!" Nikki saluted. "I know deep inside that you really respect me as a human being, and you honor my traditions and values, and you're just trying to help me see the light, Auntie. I appreciate all that you've done for me, and I love you, too!" Nikki announced, throwing her arms around McGonagall's neck.
"No, Nikki, I really don't."
"YOU CALLED ME NIKKI! HOW TOUCHING! I think I'm gonna cry!" Nikki wailed, promptly bursting into tears.
"Time for lunch!" someone yelled as the doors burst open.
And so the games began, the battles commenced, and so forth.
Hermione handed her Transfiguration book to Nikki as they walked out of the classroom door. "If I were you, I'd catch up on some missed reading assignments during lunch. Don't worry, at least it's only 671 pages."
Nikki eyed her suspiciously. "Well, then," she agreed, taking the book from Hermione, "it's a good thing you're not me! Oh, Haaaaaaaarry! Wait up!" She disappeared into the lunchroom with the boys.
Hermione frowned. "That girl..." she muttered as she, too, ran to catch up with the group, along with Ullanda.
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or things associated with it. That, my friends, is why life sucks. Oh yeah, this is a spin-off. So don't get any little (or big) ideas into your little (or big) heads. Enjoy! P.s. Nikki is our character, along with the others we happened to invent. SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!
"Open your textbooks to page 672, chapter IV. You should have read chapters I through III over your summer break. Now-," McGonagall began.
At this, Nikki raised her hand, looking around at her fellow students. "Ah... very nice, these... textbooks... so, heh, where did you get these, exactly?" she whispered loudly.
McGonagall, however, was ignoring Nikki. She continued with her lesson, "Chapter IV, When Baboon Transfigurations Go Wrong. Now, you have all been provided with a baboon, which we shall transfigure AFTER we learn why we shouldn't."
By now, Nikki was waving both her hands in the air rather frantically, making screeching sounds in hopes of getting McGonagall to notice her.
"One possible side effect," McGonagall announced, "is making a subconscious screeching noise. This is a painful process for all those involved, so I recommend that you do not make a mistake."
Nikki jumped up and down, waving her arms in an attempt at what Ron could only assume was flying.
"Another side effect," McGonagall made the attempt not to raise an eyebrow, "is indecent public behavior."
The class slowly turned in their desks to look at Nikki, who was jumping on her desk. Harry, being the idiot he is, muttered to Ron, "why is everyone staring at Nikki?"
"The most deadly symptom, however," McGonagall looked over her eyeglasses at the class, "is the final stage- involuntary, but complete, manslaughter."
At this, the class let out a scream and ran from their desks, pounding at the door.
"Ron," Harry screamed, "I think there's something wrong with Nikki!!!"
"TAKE YOUR SEATS!" McGonagall screamed, frustrated. The class did so, eying Nikki warily. She continued, "Is there a problem, Miss Harply?"
"FINALLY! I thought you'd NEVER ask!" Nikki grinned happily at her teacher. "I never thought you'd be up to the old Silent Treatment, Auntie M, but you're one heck of a player! I beat you though-,"
"Miss Harply, you must be mistaken. I do not lower myself to playing games with my students. I was merely giving an example of what happens to-,"
"Suuuure, Auntie. We all know your secret," Nikki winked. "Anyways, how much...exactly...were we supposed to read over the summer?"
"Six hundred and seventy-one pages, of course. You should learn a lesson from Miss Granger here. She, of course, read beyond the assigned reading. I have here her reading schedule, broken into 50 pages per book per day."
"Ah. And...yeah...what textbook is this, exactly?"
"101 Painful Ways You Can Die During Transfigurations. All sixth-years must cover this material, of course."
"Right. Well... can I borrow your copy?"
"DETENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Nothing says 'I love you' like detention, Auntie!" Nikki saluted. "I know deep inside that you really respect me as a human being, and you honor my traditions and values, and you're just trying to help me see the light, Auntie. I appreciate all that you've done for me, and I love you, too!" Nikki announced, throwing her arms around McGonagall's neck.
"No, Nikki, I really don't."
"YOU CALLED ME NIKKI! HOW TOUCHING! I think I'm gonna cry!" Nikki wailed, promptly bursting into tears.
"Time for lunch!" someone yelled as the doors burst open.
And so the games began, the battles commenced, and so forth.
Hermione handed her Transfiguration book to Nikki as they walked out of the classroom door. "If I were you, I'd catch up on some missed reading assignments during lunch. Don't worry, at least it's only 671 pages."
Nikki eyed her suspiciously. "Well, then," she agreed, taking the book from Hermione, "it's a good thing you're not me! Oh, Haaaaaaaarry! Wait up!" She disappeared into the lunchroom with the boys.
Hermione frowned. "That girl..." she muttered as she, too, ran to catch up with the group, along with Ullanda.