Fry Me To the Moon
The Odd Tale of Weevil and Jess

Written by:
Legend Ghalai, kossmoechanhotmail.com

Disclaimer: Yu Gi Oh, duel monsters, Weevil and other amusing things all belong to the company in which created them. Unfortunately I am stuck with ownership to Jess, but that's okay. I'll just go send her to hug Weevil for me.

Warning: If you don't like Weevil, too bad. I have free speech :D You best not read on past here… well, actually, there is a part where Weevil er… "gets what he deserves" so you might like that. Otherwise, it's all Weevil-appreciation month.

Note: This story is based off of the Video Game… so if you think my character wins too easily, that's because AI is horrid in this game. XD Oh yeah. I wrote it in script because I was thinking of it like an episode. Haha.

Note 2: For some reason, I can't seem to get this thing to cooperate with Fanfiction.net! So, please, bear with me.

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(The people begin to spread out more, exploring other territories. Jess walks up to Rex.)

Jess: Hello?

Rex Raptor: What do you want? I don't have time to waste on low level duelists. Get lost.

(Jess appears offended, and walks away briskly. She spots another group of people, this one smaller. A small ring of duelists are surrounding another duelist.)

Jess: (thinking) I wonder what this is for.

Jess: Are you okay in there? Are they moving in on yah?

Duelist: Moving in on me? Most certainly not! They are my apprentices.

Jess: (blinks) (thinking) Apprentices? (speaking) What do you mean… apprentices?

Duelist: Exactly what it stands for. You do know what it stands for, don't you?

Jess: Yes, I do.

Duelist: (impaintently) Then, there is nothing to explain.

Jess: (she blinks again) Who are you, anyways?

Duelist: Who am I? (laughs) I am the Regional Champion, Weevil Underwood!

Jess: (thinking) Oh, so that's who beat that Rex Raptor guy in the Regionals… (speaking) Well, I wish you good luck on this tournament. If you're Regional Champion, you're bound to get far!

Weevil: (bluntly) Yes, I am. Oh yes – if you are thinking of challanging me to a duel, you'll have to duel my apprentices first. Unless you can defeat them, I'm not going to waste my time dueling low levelers.

Jess: (thinking) Man, the people here are really rude, especially those who have won before. (bluntly) Well, that's nice. (she walks away, looking to explore and find more people to talk to… prefereably ones that aren't as annoying as the regional vetrans.)

Apprentice: (some hint of sarcasm) Nice job, Mr. Underwood.

Weevil: Oh, shut up!

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DuelMaster46: See? It was love at first sight! Isn't it great? (sighs romanically) Their first meeting was so… perfect.

Attem: Your heart is bleeding all over my carpet! And I wouldn't say perfect, or even love, because it looked like Jess wanted to take out a revolver and shoot him in the head.

DuelMaster46: Oh. Well, uh.

Attem: Believe me, this isn't going to turn into some dumb sapfest. It might turn into a homicidal massacre… that is actually a very possible thing…

DuelMaster46: Yeah, you've got a point.

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(Jess meets up with one of her friends that we have conviently named Amy.)

Amy: Have you talked to some of the people here? I got to meet Espa Roba! He was the fabled psychic duelist.

Jess: Espa Roba, huh? That sounds fun. Was he nice?

Amy: Sure, maybe a little out of it and psychotic, but nice does describe him.

Jess: I met a couple of nice beans, and a couple of sour beans.

Amy: Beans? Why beans? Are you talking to your food again?

Jess: (annoyed) You know what I mean! (smirks) I was making an analogy. I talked to a couple of really nice duelists, and there were some that were just too egotistical for my tastes.

Amy: Oh, right! I understand, though. The popular duelists like Yugi probably get allot of people bugging them. I guess that'd turn yah mean.

Jess: Hmm, I don't know. Maybe.

(A bell dings, it has turned 9 o'clock.)

Amy: OH! That's the nine bell! The tournament has begun! Good luck, Jess!

Jess: Don't worry. I'll do my best! (winks, then looks at her deck) (thinking) I hope…

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DuelMaster46: Some amounts of time pass after this, mostly because Attem is too lazy to type it out.

Attem: I am not! It is you who interupted this scene.

DuelMaster46: Well, good for meh, eh? Oh! She's won a couple of duels while we were blabbing! Let's get back to the story.

Attem: Amen.

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Jess: (thinking) I can't be that bad if I've won these past few duels. Of course, these might have just been low levelers…

(She sighs and looks for someone else to duel. She notices that the second place Regional Champion is dueling someone as we speak.. yes… as we are speaking… or actually typing.)

Rex Raptor: Two Headed King Rex, attack his life points directly! Hah! That should finish this duel up. You hardly even scratched my life points.

Duelist: Ohhhh… Rex ended with 7,500 LP.

Rex Raptor: Hmph. Give up the locator card, kid.

Jess: (she looks at her own locator card) (thinking) So, I need to get another five of these to be in the finals. It would be easier to get them if I fought people who haven't lost…

Jess: (she looks at Rex Raptor) (thinking) There's no way I can defeat him. Maybe I should go look for someone else who might have a locator card and come back later.

(blinks) What about that Weevil guy? Wait. He's the Region Champion, duh! Rex is only the second placeman, and I don't even want to fight him.

Jess: (thinking) I've got an idea. What if I watched the duels of these powerful duelists? Maybe then I can get a good idea on what kind of cards they have. That way, I can customize my deck to fight each of them. (she grins finds a chair at the rest area, which is conviently near Rex Raptor.)

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DuelMaster46: After a while of consideration… she realizes that obviously this is a good idea, and one that many duelists have embraced.

Attem: Why do you always have to be so sarcastic? Oh, nevermind. Rex has already taken on three duelists, in one of the duels he is about to win another locator card.

DuelMaster46: Oh yeah! Right! Back to the story! (grins)

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Rex Raptor: Hah! Destroy the rest of his life points, Uraby!

Duelist: Urrrghh! I lost… I lost… (hands over his locator card)

Rex Raptor: Hmph. That's three locator cards already.

Duelist: (talking to Jess) Are you going to challenge Rex Raptor?

Jess: I might. I've been studying how he fights.

Duelist: I've heard that he has really powerful cards that hit hard right away. If you do, be careful. Rex only battles for locator cards, you know, after wasting his time on kids without them.

Jess: I think I'm ready to take him on. (begins to get excited) Rex!

Rex Raptor: Hmph, you again? What do you want?

Jess: I challenge you to a battle… for locator cards, and our rarest card.

Rex Raptor: (a grin begins to spread across his face) You want to fight me?! You've got allot of guts! You're on, kid, might as well give me the locator card now…

Jess: (looks down at her dueling disk and her deck) (thinking) Please come through for me… (the number on her LP LCD screen turns to 8000)

Rex Raptor: You're first to go, so make your move! (LCD screen displays 8000)

Jess: (draws a card) (thinking) I've got Neo the Magic Swordsman, High Tide Gyogin, Trap Hole, Swords of Revealing Light, Black Pendant and Swordstalker. This should give me a good start!

Rex Raptor: Hurry up!

Jess: (grabs her Trap Hole) I'm going to play one card face down, and summon Neo the Magic Swordsman! … End of my turn.

Rex Raptor: (draws a card) (angry glare) I'm going to play one card face down (does so) and place one monster card face down in defense mode. That's the end of my turn.

Jess: (draws Malevolent Nuzzler) (thinking) Hm… I can summon the High Tide Gyojin and attach the Black Pendant to it… that should make it fairly powerful. (blinks, speaks) I summon the High Tide Gyojin!

Rex Raptor: Whatever!

Jess: I will play this magic card, Black Pendant, which allows me to increase my monster's ATK by 500 points. I will attach it to High Tide Gyojin. Now, I'll attack! Neo the Magic Swordsman, attack the face-down card!

Rex Raptor: Not so fast! Just wait until you see what my face down card was! Mirror Force!

Jess: Oh, geez! (All of her monsters are destroyed) Well, don't forget about the Black Pendant. It deletes 500 LP from your total LP score.

Rex Raptor: (blinks) Big deal! (LP gauge is now 7500)

Jess: Hmph. I will end my turn.

Rex Raptor: Hah! I will summon a monster, The Two-Headed King Rex! You don't have any monsters to defend your—

Jess: Not so fast! I, too, have a face-down card. Activate Trap Hole!

Rex Raptor: Auughhh! No! Attack position, Giant Soldier of the Stone! Attack her life points directly! You have nothing now to stand in the way!

Jess: (winces) (Gauge goes to 6700) (draws Maha Vailo) Don't think too fast, Rex. I have a little surprise for you. Summon Maha Vailo! Now, I will attach it with the Malevolent Nuzzler, which will increase its ATK to 2,750!

Rex Raptor: (eyes go wide) WHAT?! Malevolent Nuzzler only increases by 700, you dirtbag!

Jess: You should learn card descriptions better. For every card attached to Maha Vailo, in additional to the card's effects, it gains 500 ATK!

Rex Raptor: (takes a step back in frustration)

Jess: Attack his Giant Soldier of Stone! End of my turn.

Rex Raptor: (Gauge goes to 6050) Hmph. I'm going to place this monster face down in defense mode. End my turn. (appears agitated)

Duelist: Wow! It looks like that girl is going to beat Rex Raptor!

Rex Raptor: (enraged) You SHUT UP!!

Jess: (draws Blackland Fire Dragon) I summon Blackland Fire Dragon! Blackland Fire Dragon, destroy that face down card!

Rex Raptor: My Little D! Grrrrr!

Jess: Oh man, Rex, this next life-points damaging attack is REally gonna hurt.

Rex Raptor: Sh..shut up!

Jess: Direct Attack! 2750! End of my turn.

Rex Raptor: (Gauge goes to 3300) The duel is not over yet, you … you… (draws card) In fact… (a smile runs across his face) It's going to turn right now! I activate the magic field card, Wasteland!

Jess: Uh… okay?

Rex Raptor: And, I summon the monster Uraby in attack position! Now it's ATK is 1700, and it can take out your Blackland Fire Dragon!!

Jess: (Gauge goes to 6500) (draws Summoned Skull) Oh, this should be interesting. Maha Vailo, destroy his dinosaur!

Rex Raptor: AUGH! (gauge goes to 2250)

Jess: (smiles) What do you think of me now? Am I a low-level dueler? End of my turn.

Rex Raptor: Shut up!(draws card) I summon a monster in defense position. End of my turn. (twitch)

Jess: Hmm. (draws Dian Keto the Cure Master) I activate the magic card, Dian Keto the Cure Master. (Gauge goes to 7500)

Rex Raptor: What?! You… you, cheat!

Jess: Cheat? It's a legitimate card. (sticks out tounge) You know what comes next, Rex! Maha, destroy that face-down card! End of my turn.

Rex Raptor: … Erugh… (draws card) I summon a monster card in face-down defense position…

Jess: (draws Tribute to the Doomed) Hmmm, Rex. This duel is about to end.

Rex Raptor: No! It… it can't!

Jess: I activate the magic card, Tribute to the Doomed!

Rex Raptor: No! Not that card! AUGH!

Jess: This magic card will destroy your face down monster, giving me a chance to attack your lifepoints… going in for the kill! But first, I must discard a card… (discards)

Rex Raptor: NO!

Jess: Maha, go for the kill!

Rex Raptor: NOO! NOOOO! (Gauge goes to 0) No! How could my dinosaurs lose?!

Duelist: Woohooo! She beat him! She beat Rex Raptor! She beat the Second Place Regional Champion!!!

Jess: (smiles out of intense pride, not even realising she does it) Alright, Rex. I'd hate to do this… but hand over the locator card and your rarest card.

Rex Raptor: I won't lose without my dignity. Here, take your stupid cards. (hands over the locator card and his rarest card, Sword Arm of Dragon.)

Jess: Thank you. I hope to duel you again some day.

Rex Raptor: Believe me, you only won because of luck! I didn't get to draw any good cards, or I would have stomped you like those other pathetic duelists! (snarls and stomps away in anger)

Duelist: Not bad! I bet you'd even be able to beat Weevil Underwood, the Regional Champ.

Jess: I don't know…

Duelist: Oh, come on! You vanquished Rex Raptor, and he only lost by a bit.

Jess: I guess I could go try. He wants me to fight his little partners thought, before I can fight him. I don't really want to take the chance of loosing in one of those three times. One duel has a better chance of luck then trying to live on luck on three duels.

Duelist: You aren't luck, you're skill. (smiles) Besides, just insult his deck, and he'll challenge you.

Jess: Alright, if you say so…

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DuelMaster46: Whoa! That was a cool duel!

Attem: You just rhymed.

DuelMaster46: That was pretty weird, wasn't it?

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Author's Note: Woohooo! I uploaded the second chapter. I swear, Fanfiction.net doesn't like me uploading LOL. For some reason, it keeps on messing up the formatting when I submit via Microsoft Word. So, I have to go and recode everything in HTML then put it on Notepad and save it as .html. LOL. Lots of work.