By NoNoMoon and Chica
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or things associated with it. That, my friends, is why life sucks. Oh yeah, this is a spin-off. So don't get any little (or big) ideas into your little (or big) heads. Enjoy! P.s. Nikki is our character, along with the others we happened to invent. SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!
"Pig! What are you doing?!" yelled Ron as the owl crashed into him.
"Owl delivery is during BREAKFAST. It is now LUNCH." The owl ignored this and handed him a parcel. Ron reluctantly gave Pig his reward and started to open the package.
"Hey, Ron, what did you get?" asked Hermione eagerly. "Open it!"
Ron did so to find a pair of Chudley Cannons-decorated whitey-tighties staring him in the eye. "What?" the underwear demanded. "Cannons for the Cup!"
Unfortunately, the underwear had chosen to yell this rather loudly, and the entire hall turned to look at Ron, who was turning red and sinking down into his seat.
"Oh, look... there's a note," proclaimed Ginny, pulling it from the remains of the wrappings. "Dearest Ronnikins- you forgot your lucky underwear. Don't worry, I packed it for you, safe and tight. You need a new pair soon; you're starting to outgrow these! Little Ronnikins is getting bigger on us! Love, Charlie." Ginny looked up from the note. "Oh, my."
"Ron!" gasped Harry. "How could you?! My own best friend! This is humiliating!"
"Harry!" snapped Hermione. "How insensitive!"
Harry, however, was not finished. "I mean really! The Chudley Cannons! Where is your brain, man?!"
Ron, meanwhile, was turning beyond red into a nice shade of magenta.
"Harry!" Harry turned around at the calling of his name to see something black whizzing at him. "Get down!" He was hurled to the floor and covered in kisses by Nikki, who looked up at Ron. "That was a deliberate attempt on Harry's life! You should be punished!"
"What did I do?" asked Ron.
"Nevermind that! In the name of the moon, I punish you! Yah!" Nikki answered, her hair suddenly in pigtails.
"Why me..." answered Ron.
"Time for Humor!" Hermione grunted, pulling Nikki off of Harry. "Come on, Nikki, we gotta go... we'll be late! My perfect record tarnished forever! I'm having a nervous breakdown!"
"All right, all right, chill out," Nikki said, smoothing down her hair.
"Uh... Hermione... where is Humor?" asked Harry, bewildered.
"I don't know, but FOLLOW THOSE TWINS!" she answered, pointing at the Weasley twins. "They have Humor!"
"Enough with the puns, already!" Ron frowned, scrambling after the group. "Wait, I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom for something..."
Once in the classroom, the twins grinned wickedly at the young students.
"Ah Fred... young minds for molding," smirked George.
"Right you are. So then, class, we begin with the Statements. Sign here please," added Fred as he passed out several slips of paper.
"What...is this?" asked Hermione.
"Not important. Just wavers giving up all free will in favor of buying all of our products at the joke shop, agreements upon how you will be graded, minor things like that."
"Make you LAUGH?" she demanded. "Every DAY?!"
"With a joke," George replied, "yes, that is the general gist of things in Humor."
"My grade point average..." Hermione moaned.
"I've got a joke!" interrupted Nikki, beaming.
Fred threw all of his papers in the air and zoomed in front of Nikki, staring at her expectantly. "Well then, let's hear it!"
"Okay! What's black and green and sweet all over?" she asked. Not waiting for an answer, she shouted out, "HARRY!" while grabbing the object off her affections.
"Not the kind of joke we were looking for," George answered. "Well Harry, you heard the girl, what's your joke?"
"I don't know any jokes..." Harry replied.
"Well learn one, man! And hurry, it's time for Humor!" Fred demanded.
"Uh... what's fat, grunts like a pig, and likes to punch me?"
Fred and George looked at each other and slapped their faces, answering together, "Dudley."
"How'd you know??" asked Harry, his eyes widening. "That's amazing!! Hey Hermione, I think that this class is really Psychicivity!"
"Psychic...ivity, Harry?" she frowned.
"Nevermind, Harry's an idiot, what we need to do is teach this class!" Fred told George.
"Mmm hmm boy, you tell 'em!" George snapped his fingers in an S shape. "Gimme some of that sugar! You go, boy!"
"George..."
"Right. Sorry. So... an example of Humor... what can I say.." George looked around the room, spotted his younger brother, and grinned devilishly. "Ron, pull down your pants!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Just do it," George said, yawning. Unbeknownst to Ron, Fred was sneaking up behind him. "Or else."
"Or else what- WHAT!" yelled Ron, dismayed to find his pants at his ankles. He whirled around to find Fred there, holding his belt. "FRED! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Ron lunged at Fred, but was tripped by his pants.
"And we have a man down!" declared the underwear. "Cannons for the Cup!"
"That's not funny, that's just disturbing," said Harry, frowning at the underwear. "Cannons... blech."
"Harry!" Nikki sobbed, slapping him across the face, "how could you?! Stop staring at Ron's butt! Mine is so much more attractive!"
Blushing, Ron stood up and pulled up his pants, glaring at the twins, who were rolling on the floor with laughter.
"Good job! You all pass..." declared Fred.
"Oh, thank heavens," breathed Hermione.
"...for the day," finished George.
Hermione stood up. "WHAT!" Then, she fainted.
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or things associated with it. That, my friends, is why life sucks. Oh yeah, this is a spin-off. So don't get any little (or big) ideas into your little (or big) heads. Enjoy! P.s. Nikki is our character, along with the others we happened to invent. SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!
"Pig! What are you doing?!" yelled Ron as the owl crashed into him.
"Owl delivery is during BREAKFAST. It is now LUNCH." The owl ignored this and handed him a parcel. Ron reluctantly gave Pig his reward and started to open the package.
"Hey, Ron, what did you get?" asked Hermione eagerly. "Open it!"
Ron did so to find a pair of Chudley Cannons-decorated whitey-tighties staring him in the eye. "What?" the underwear demanded. "Cannons for the Cup!"
Unfortunately, the underwear had chosen to yell this rather loudly, and the entire hall turned to look at Ron, who was turning red and sinking down into his seat.
"Oh, look... there's a note," proclaimed Ginny, pulling it from the remains of the wrappings. "Dearest Ronnikins- you forgot your lucky underwear. Don't worry, I packed it for you, safe and tight. You need a new pair soon; you're starting to outgrow these! Little Ronnikins is getting bigger on us! Love, Charlie." Ginny looked up from the note. "Oh, my."
"Ron!" gasped Harry. "How could you?! My own best friend! This is humiliating!"
"Harry!" snapped Hermione. "How insensitive!"
Harry, however, was not finished. "I mean really! The Chudley Cannons! Where is your brain, man?!"
Ron, meanwhile, was turning beyond red into a nice shade of magenta.
"Harry!" Harry turned around at the calling of his name to see something black whizzing at him. "Get down!" He was hurled to the floor and covered in kisses by Nikki, who looked up at Ron. "That was a deliberate attempt on Harry's life! You should be punished!"
"What did I do?" asked Ron.
"Nevermind that! In the name of the moon, I punish you! Yah!" Nikki answered, her hair suddenly in pigtails.
"Why me..." answered Ron.
"Time for Humor!" Hermione grunted, pulling Nikki off of Harry. "Come on, Nikki, we gotta go... we'll be late! My perfect record tarnished forever! I'm having a nervous breakdown!"
"All right, all right, chill out," Nikki said, smoothing down her hair.
"Uh... Hermione... where is Humor?" asked Harry, bewildered.
"I don't know, but FOLLOW THOSE TWINS!" she answered, pointing at the Weasley twins. "They have Humor!"
"Enough with the puns, already!" Ron frowned, scrambling after the group. "Wait, I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom for something..."
Once in the classroom, the twins grinned wickedly at the young students.
"Ah Fred... young minds for molding," smirked George.
"Right you are. So then, class, we begin with the Statements. Sign here please," added Fred as he passed out several slips of paper.
"What...is this?" asked Hermione.
"Not important. Just wavers giving up all free will in favor of buying all of our products at the joke shop, agreements upon how you will be graded, minor things like that."
"Make you LAUGH?" she demanded. "Every DAY?!"
"With a joke," George replied, "yes, that is the general gist of things in Humor."
"My grade point average..." Hermione moaned.
"I've got a joke!" interrupted Nikki, beaming.
Fred threw all of his papers in the air and zoomed in front of Nikki, staring at her expectantly. "Well then, let's hear it!"
"Okay! What's black and green and sweet all over?" she asked. Not waiting for an answer, she shouted out, "HARRY!" while grabbing the object off her affections.
"Not the kind of joke we were looking for," George answered. "Well Harry, you heard the girl, what's your joke?"
"I don't know any jokes..." Harry replied.
"Well learn one, man! And hurry, it's time for Humor!" Fred demanded.
"Uh... what's fat, grunts like a pig, and likes to punch me?"
Fred and George looked at each other and slapped their faces, answering together, "Dudley."
"How'd you know??" asked Harry, his eyes widening. "That's amazing!! Hey Hermione, I think that this class is really Psychicivity!"
"Psychic...ivity, Harry?" she frowned.
"Nevermind, Harry's an idiot, what we need to do is teach this class!" Fred told George.
"Mmm hmm boy, you tell 'em!" George snapped his fingers in an S shape. "Gimme some of that sugar! You go, boy!"
"George..."
"Right. Sorry. So... an example of Humor... what can I say.." George looked around the room, spotted his younger brother, and grinned devilishly. "Ron, pull down your pants!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Just do it," George said, yawning. Unbeknownst to Ron, Fred was sneaking up behind him. "Or else."
"Or else what- WHAT!" yelled Ron, dismayed to find his pants at his ankles. He whirled around to find Fred there, holding his belt. "FRED! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Ron lunged at Fred, but was tripped by his pants.
"And we have a man down!" declared the underwear. "Cannons for the Cup!"
"That's not funny, that's just disturbing," said Harry, frowning at the underwear. "Cannons... blech."
"Harry!" Nikki sobbed, slapping him across the face, "how could you?! Stop staring at Ron's butt! Mine is so much more attractive!"
Blushing, Ron stood up and pulled up his pants, glaring at the twins, who were rolling on the floor with laughter.
"Good job! You all pass..." declared Fred.
"Oh, thank heavens," breathed Hermione.
"...for the day," finished George.
Hermione stood up. "WHAT!" Then, she fainted.