Celebrity Death Match
Harry Potter Edition
Disclaimer: you know the drill. I don't own Harry Potter, the characters,
or anything else. I also don't own Celebrity Death Match or anything
affiliated with that.
Summary: What if the Harry Potter characters headed for the ring in the
style of the popular Celebrity Death Match fights?
ROUND IV: Hermione Granger VS Luna Lovegood
Danielle: Welcome to another exciting round of competition on Celebrity Death Match, the Harry Potter Edition! We have what promises to be an amazing fight for you tonight as renowned scholar Hermione Granger takes on tabloid princess Luna Lovegood!
Sky: That's right, Danielle! Personally, I've been waiting for this fight for a long time! It's going to be interesting to see the battle strategies of these two very different fighters.
Danielle: You've got that right! Hermione's highly intellectual style and Luna's passive tendencies are going to make this an fascinating fight! Let's go to the corners to hear the combatants' opening comments!
**Camera Change: Hermione's corner**
Hermione: Oh, I've been waiting for this for a long time you pint-sized, spoiled rotten runt! Popping your bubble is gonna be a pleasure!
**Camera Change: Luna's corner**
Luna: Now, you would think that someone of your intelligence wouldn't need to resort to physical violence. My father and I were in Africa one summer and noted a similar behavior in-
**Camera Change: Commentator's table**
*Luna continues to chatter in the background*
Danielle: While Luna is still talking, the bell has been struck, and the round begins!
Sky: Hermione easily gains the first hit in this fight, Danielle, casting the ever-popular tickling spell!
Hermione: Rictusempra! Take that, you twit!
*The spell bounces off Luna's shield charm, and Luna counters with a classic stunning spell.*
Luna: Stupefy! Dodge that! I'm sure it will be a challenge considering the proportions that your head has reached in the last year!
Hermione: That does it! Serpens Sortia!
**A snake materializes from the end of Hermione's wand and flies through the air, landing at Luna's feet and hissing angrily.**
Luna: Really, Hermione, a fool could have realized that this spell wasn't going to scare me! (She bends down, carefully picks up the snake and removes it from the ring.)
Hermione: Fool this! Expelliarmus!
**Luna flies across the ring and hits the padded corner post. Luna simply gets up, dusts off her robes, and takes her wand from behind her ear, pointing it again at Hermione**
**Camera Change: Audience**
Harry: Go Hermione!
Ron: You get her, Hermione! That a girl, sweetheart!
**Harry flashes Ron a surprised look**
Ron: (to Harry) We were going to tell you sooner or later, but we got caught up in all of this competition and forgot, that's all!
**Camera Change: Commentators' table**
Danielle: This keeps getting better and better!
Sky: That's for sure!
Danielle: It looks like Luna is lecturing again! Is she trying to *talk* Hermione to death?
Sky: One thing's for sure, Hermione is anything but patient, and with someone like Luna, her fuse is going to be even shorter! But what will Hermione do? We'll find out after these messages from our sponsors!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Honeyduke's has gone fruity!
That's right folks! Honeyduke's, Hogsmeade's own rot-your-teeth sweet stuff palace is having a sale! For this week only, all fruit flavored candies are 2 for 1!! That's right! Buy one Cherry Cheer-Me-Up and get the next one free! Buy one rope of our gourmet lime licorice and get the next one free! Come in now! Know the winner of this bout and enter the drawing for a life-time supply of lemon drops! Remember, for all your sugar cravings, there's only one candy store with it all! Honeyduke's!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Quality Quidditch Supply
For all your Quidditch needs! Custom robe fitting and special order colors and emblems available! Come in now and preview the Firebolt! The newest and fastest racing broom on the market and broom of choice of London's own Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter! Kids! If you can name all four of the founding wizards and witches of Hogwart's, your parents can take an additional 25% off their purchase that day! (restrictions apply, see store for details)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Danielle: Now, back to live action! Hermione has taken a pounding since the break Sky, let's recap what's been happening!
Sky: I don't know if I can repeat some of this, Danielle! It's just too brutal!
Danielle: Luna has landed some key hits, and Hermione is now having a hard time getting back up off the floor of the ring!
**Camera Change: Audience**
*Harry is having a hard time physically restraining Ron from jumping in the ring with the girls!*
Ron: Dirty rotten cheater!! Let her up! I'll come down there and kick your bum myself!
**Camera Change: Commentators' table**
Danielle: Hermione is pulling herself up off the floor again, and this time, I have a feeling that it's no more Miss Nice Intellectual!
Sky: Ooh! Hermione has deserted her wand and has resorted to physical combat! She charges at Luna and-I don't believe it! She's taken Luna's glasses!
**As Luna gropes around in the ring, Hermione stalks around her, smug with pleasure. She grabs hold of Luna's long hair and ties her to the ropes**
Hermione: I dare you to get out of that one! (Hermione stands up, straightens her robes and hair, and casts one last spell) EXPECTO PATRONUM!
**Hermione's beaver patronus emerges from her wand and begins gnawing mercilessly on Luna. Minutes later, out of a cloud of dust and ripping noises, Hermione remains standing and all that is left of Luna is a pile of cleanly picked bones as Hermione's patronus evaporates into thin air.**
**Camera Change: Audience**
**Most of Gryffindor house is now on their feet and cheering. Harry and Ron are ecstatic**
Ron: THAT A GIRL, HERMIONE! THAT'S MY GIRL!
Harry: WHOOOOO! WAY TO GO, HERMIONE!!!
Fred: (to George) I never Hermione had it in her!
George: I did! Remind me never to make Hermione hate me!
**Camera pans over the crowd, getting shots of the Gryffindors cheering and waving their pennants. Seamus Finnegan is body surfing.**
**Camera Change: Commentators' table**
Danielle: This match is over! The winner is Hermione Granger!!
Sky: Thanks for joining us once again folks for this round of Celebrity Death Match! Come back again next time for another exciting bout!
Harry Potter Edition
Disclaimer: you know the drill. I don't own Harry Potter, the characters,
or anything else. I also don't own Celebrity Death Match or anything
affiliated with that.
Summary: What if the Harry Potter characters headed for the ring in the
style of the popular Celebrity Death Match fights?
ROUND IV: Hermione Granger VS Luna Lovegood
Danielle: Welcome to another exciting round of competition on Celebrity Death Match, the Harry Potter Edition! We have what promises to be an amazing fight for you tonight as renowned scholar Hermione Granger takes on tabloid princess Luna Lovegood!
Sky: That's right, Danielle! Personally, I've been waiting for this fight for a long time! It's going to be interesting to see the battle strategies of these two very different fighters.
Danielle: You've got that right! Hermione's highly intellectual style and Luna's passive tendencies are going to make this an fascinating fight! Let's go to the corners to hear the combatants' opening comments!
**Camera Change: Hermione's corner**
Hermione: Oh, I've been waiting for this for a long time you pint-sized, spoiled rotten runt! Popping your bubble is gonna be a pleasure!
**Camera Change: Luna's corner**
Luna: Now, you would think that someone of your intelligence wouldn't need to resort to physical violence. My father and I were in Africa one summer and noted a similar behavior in-
**Camera Change: Commentator's table**
*Luna continues to chatter in the background*
Danielle: While Luna is still talking, the bell has been struck, and the round begins!
Sky: Hermione easily gains the first hit in this fight, Danielle, casting the ever-popular tickling spell!
Hermione: Rictusempra! Take that, you twit!
*The spell bounces off Luna's shield charm, and Luna counters with a classic stunning spell.*
Luna: Stupefy! Dodge that! I'm sure it will be a challenge considering the proportions that your head has reached in the last year!
Hermione: That does it! Serpens Sortia!
**A snake materializes from the end of Hermione's wand and flies through the air, landing at Luna's feet and hissing angrily.**
Luna: Really, Hermione, a fool could have realized that this spell wasn't going to scare me! (She bends down, carefully picks up the snake and removes it from the ring.)
Hermione: Fool this! Expelliarmus!
**Luna flies across the ring and hits the padded corner post. Luna simply gets up, dusts off her robes, and takes her wand from behind her ear, pointing it again at Hermione**
**Camera Change: Audience**
Harry: Go Hermione!
Ron: You get her, Hermione! That a girl, sweetheart!
**Harry flashes Ron a surprised look**
Ron: (to Harry) We were going to tell you sooner or later, but we got caught up in all of this competition and forgot, that's all!
**Camera Change: Commentators' table**
Danielle: This keeps getting better and better!
Sky: That's for sure!
Danielle: It looks like Luna is lecturing again! Is she trying to *talk* Hermione to death?
Sky: One thing's for sure, Hermione is anything but patient, and with someone like Luna, her fuse is going to be even shorter! But what will Hermione do? We'll find out after these messages from our sponsors!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Honeyduke's has gone fruity!
That's right folks! Honeyduke's, Hogsmeade's own rot-your-teeth sweet stuff palace is having a sale! For this week only, all fruit flavored candies are 2 for 1!! That's right! Buy one Cherry Cheer-Me-Up and get the next one free! Buy one rope of our gourmet lime licorice and get the next one free! Come in now! Know the winner of this bout and enter the drawing for a life-time supply of lemon drops! Remember, for all your sugar cravings, there's only one candy store with it all! Honeyduke's!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Quality Quidditch Supply
For all your Quidditch needs! Custom robe fitting and special order colors and emblems available! Come in now and preview the Firebolt! The newest and fastest racing broom on the market and broom of choice of London's own Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter! Kids! If you can name all four of the founding wizards and witches of Hogwart's, your parents can take an additional 25% off their purchase that day! (restrictions apply, see store for details)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Danielle: Now, back to live action! Hermione has taken a pounding since the break Sky, let's recap what's been happening!
Sky: I don't know if I can repeat some of this, Danielle! It's just too brutal!
Danielle: Luna has landed some key hits, and Hermione is now having a hard time getting back up off the floor of the ring!
**Camera Change: Audience**
*Harry is having a hard time physically restraining Ron from jumping in the ring with the girls!*
Ron: Dirty rotten cheater!! Let her up! I'll come down there and kick your bum myself!
**Camera Change: Commentators' table**
Danielle: Hermione is pulling herself up off the floor again, and this time, I have a feeling that it's no more Miss Nice Intellectual!
Sky: Ooh! Hermione has deserted her wand and has resorted to physical combat! She charges at Luna and-I don't believe it! She's taken Luna's glasses!
**As Luna gropes around in the ring, Hermione stalks around her, smug with pleasure. She grabs hold of Luna's long hair and ties her to the ropes**
Hermione: I dare you to get out of that one! (Hermione stands up, straightens her robes and hair, and casts one last spell) EXPECTO PATRONUM!
**Hermione's beaver patronus emerges from her wand and begins gnawing mercilessly on Luna. Minutes later, out of a cloud of dust and ripping noises, Hermione remains standing and all that is left of Luna is a pile of cleanly picked bones as Hermione's patronus evaporates into thin air.**
**Camera Change: Audience**
**Most of Gryffindor house is now on their feet and cheering. Harry and Ron are ecstatic**
Ron: THAT A GIRL, HERMIONE! THAT'S MY GIRL!
Harry: WHOOOOO! WAY TO GO, HERMIONE!!!
Fred: (to George) I never Hermione had it in her!
George: I did! Remind me never to make Hermione hate me!
**Camera pans over the crowd, getting shots of the Gryffindors cheering and waving their pennants. Seamus Finnegan is body surfing.**
**Camera Change: Commentators' table**
Danielle: This match is over! The winner is Hermione Granger!!
Sky: Thanks for joining us once again folks for this round of Celebrity Death Match! Come back again next time for another exciting bout!