"OOOOOWWWWWWWW-SSSSSSS!!!!" Draco woke with a loud, crunching sound on his
back. He tried to get up, but he couldn't. He turned his head and yelled in
surprise at the sight of a Crabbe/Goyle-sized foot. "GET OFF ME, GOYLE! OR
CRABBE! WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU TWO FATSOS!"
"Duh - hookay!" said Goyle's dull voice as he got up. Draco heaved a sigh of relief.
"What are you doing here? Where's Crabbe?" demanded Draco.
"Uh - duh-yup!"
"Never mind. I don't feel very well. I'm aching all over, thanks to you. And that horrifying nightmare," he said with a collective shudder. "Viktor Krum's really ugly."
"Huh?"
Suddenly, the door flung open and Pansy pranced in, pigtails bouncing and she did a little pirouette before coming to a stop at Draco's bedside. Draco resisted the temptation of dropping off back to sleep and facing Viktor Krum again.
"Hi, Dwaky, I made you bweakfast," Pansy said, plunking a tray of beastly- looking grey stuff in front of Dwa - Draco.
"Uh - thanks, but no thanks," Draco said, eyeing the grey stuff with disgust. "Isn't there breakfast downstairs?"
"What's wrong, Dwaky? You look weally sick!" she gasped, ignoring his last comment. "I'll go get Madam Pomfwey!"
"Pansy, WAIT!" Draco yelled, but she had already disappeared through the door.
"Duh - yup!" Goyle said and left.
~*~
Madam Pomfrey walked into the room, looking rather reluctant. Pansy followed close behind.
"Look, Madam Pomfwey! Doesn't he look pale?" she said, stabbing a stubby finger in Draco's direction.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash as Hagrid came thundering through the wall into the room, apparently unaware of the existence of a door. Madam Pomfrey was left staring at the Hagrid-shaped hole left in the wall. Pansy's mouth dropped open and her finger was still in the air.
Hagrid laughed heartily, facing Draco. "All righ' Harry?" His beard shook violently as he chuckled at his own unfunny joke. "Yeh aren' sick, are yeh?"
"No, I aren'. Yeh the one who's sick," Draco frowned. "And I'm not Harry," he added with an afterthought.
Hagrid looked crestfallen. "Yeh not?"
"Er.no."
"Oops." There was another loud crash as Hagrid ran smack into the wall to create a second hole next to the first one and exited.
"Stick out your tongue," Madam Pomfrey said stiffly, as if there was no break in the conversation.
"Um. Excuse me?" Draco said, looking bewildered.
"She said, stick out your tongue, Dwako," Pansy said, prying his mouth open. Draco stuck out his tongue feebly.
~*~
Madam Pomfrey gasped, "YOU. HAVE. SARS."
"Mars? What mars? You mean, Mars Bars?" Draco said.
"SARS," Madam Pomfrey repeated, sounding exasperated.
"Oh. SARS?! What's that? My father will have a fit!"
"Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome," Madam Pomfrey said, consulting her clipboard. She moved five paces backwards and put on a facemask. "It's contagious. Take a facemask too, Parkinson."
Pansy looked shocked. "Oh~~no!!! What happened to poor Dwaky? Is he going to die?"
"Uh.Dwaky?" Madam Pomfrey looked nonplussed.
"That," Draco snapped, "is not the point. Well, what are you waiting for? Cure me!"
"There's no cure," Madam Pomfrey said, frowning at her clipboard, which was a centimetre away from her nose.
"You need glasses," Draco said.
"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," she cut in, fixing him in a steely glare, "There's no cure for SARS. Not at the current moment, anyhow. Stay in bed and drink lots of juice."
"Shut up. You're not a doctor."
"Rude, aren't you?" Madam P. said, frowning. "Ten points from Slytherin, and detention. Meet Argus Filch at the Forbidden Forest on Friday, 5 p.m."
"Didn't know nurses could take points," Draco said scornfully.
"Just practicing," Madam P. said. "I heard Minerva saying it to random students when she's feeling bored. It does give you a lot of satisfaction."
"Oh, Madam Pomfwey, what should I do to help him?" Pansy said.
Suddenly, Draco hiccupped and a small slug slid out of his mouth. And another. And two more.
"Gee," Pansy said. "That looks really familiar."
"Of course it does," Madam Pomfrey said, looking triumphant. "That's what he did to Ron in the second year, remember? Doesn't feel too good, does it? Getting a taste of your own medicine?"
"I didn't do that to him!" protested Draco. "He did it on himself! It's his own fault he couldn't even afford a new wand.probably had to sell half his house for that broken one."
"Tough."
~*~
Crabbe and Goyle had refused to hang around holding up buckets for Draco, so Pansy was given the honour of doing that. Draco wasn't too pleased.
"Please go away," he said miserably.
"No, Dwaky, I have to stay and look after you," Pansy said, stepping in and out of the room through the hole Hagrid created to fetch empty buckets.
Draco groaned and smacked his forehead. As he did that a slug slithered out.
~*~
Suddenly, the door was pushed open. Hermione Granger strode in, wearing a facemask and holding an empty glass in her hand and Moste Potente Potions and a clipboard under her arm.
"ARGH! Mudblood breath!" Draco exclaimed, holding his nose. Pansy sprayed the air with an air freshener.
"In case you hadn't noticed," Granger said coldly, "I'm here to help you. I read about this potion.it's really effective.more effective than the normal cure for slug-belching."
"Why are you helping me?" Draco said suspiciously.
Granger rolled her eyes. "I'm only doing this for the benefit of my N.E.W.T.S. You know, it's good to have some hands-on experience, especially for Potions."
"How did you know about Dwaky's illness?" demanded Pansy.
"The whole school knows it! Dumbledore is handing out forms to find out who has been in contact with you for the past ten days. Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards!"
"Hey! That's my line!" Draco snapped.
"I know. I read it in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," Granger informed them.
"A book dedicated to Potty? Yuck! Wait till my father hears about that!"
~*~
A few moments passed as Granger busied herself with making a potion called Troll Snot Potion.
"Doesn't sound too pleasant, does it?" Draco said, feeling sick to his stomach. "Do I really have to drink it?"
"Be quiet, Malfoy," snapped Granger. "Ah, I think it's done."
She handed him a glass filled to the brim with Troll Snot Potion. Draco grimaced and took the glass without touching Granger's filthy hand. "Ugh. Mudblood filth," he said anyway.
"Drink it!" ordered Granger.
"How do we know you're not trying to poison poor Dwaky?" Pansy sniffed.
Granger looked outraged. "Drink it, if you want to get well! I'm not forcing you!" With that, she stormed out of the room. A few seconds later, she returned.
"I want to watch the results, you see," she explained.
Draco looked reluctantly at the potion. He gulped it down and turned the same colour as the potion -dark shit green.
Then his eyes rolled up to the back of his head, and he fainted.
~*~
"You.you were twying to poison Dwaco!" Pansy Parkinson pointed an accusing finger at Hermione.
"No, I wasn't! Honest!" Hermione said, shaking her head.
"Yeah, right!" spat Parkinson. She started sobbing, "Oh, Dwaky-kins! Don't leave me!"
"Ugh." Hermione shuddered. "So I guess the Troll Snot Potion failed." She scribbled something on the clipboard she was holding.
Just then, Harry and Ron entered the room. "Hermione! What are you doing in Malfoy's room?" Ron demanded.
"Oh, you know, experimenting on him," Hermione replied.
"What, you mean the Troll Snot Potion? We just read in Leaste Potente Potions that it only worsens the condition of the patient!" Harry exclaimed.
"Whoops," Hermione muttered. "But at least it isn't that serious.is it?"
Suddenly, Parkinson's shrieks split the air. "HE'S DEAD!!!"
"Wha-?" Hermione rushed and put a finger under Malfoy's nose. He wasn't breathing. Not much, anyway.
"ARGH! I'm in deep trouble! We have to get Madam Pomfrey!" she yelled.
"Why? Can't we just sit around and watch Malfoy die?" Ron said. "Then we can throw a party."
"No, we can't!" Hermione snapped. "If he dies, I'm a murderer!"
"Oh, yeah," Ron muttered, looking disappointed.
Just then, Parkinson left the room with Malfoy on her back. She was saying between sobs, "I'll find a place to bury you, Dwaky!"
Hermione and co. looked at each other and gasped, "Bury?"
"He isn't dead, is he?" Harry said, frowning.
"He was still breathing a little," Hermione said nervously.
"THAT MEANS HE'LL BE BURIED ALIVE!!!" Ron exclaimed. "Bloody brilliant! And by his own girlfriend, too!"
"We can't let that happen, we're heroines!" Hermione said.
"I mean, heroes and heroine," she quickly added when Harry and Ron gave her fierce looks.
So, Hermione and co. bolted out the door.
~*~
"Duh - hookay!" said Goyle's dull voice as he got up. Draco heaved a sigh of relief.
"What are you doing here? Where's Crabbe?" demanded Draco.
"Uh - duh-yup!"
"Never mind. I don't feel very well. I'm aching all over, thanks to you. And that horrifying nightmare," he said with a collective shudder. "Viktor Krum's really ugly."
"Huh?"
Suddenly, the door flung open and Pansy pranced in, pigtails bouncing and she did a little pirouette before coming to a stop at Draco's bedside. Draco resisted the temptation of dropping off back to sleep and facing Viktor Krum again.
"Hi, Dwaky, I made you bweakfast," Pansy said, plunking a tray of beastly- looking grey stuff in front of Dwa - Draco.
"Uh - thanks, but no thanks," Draco said, eyeing the grey stuff with disgust. "Isn't there breakfast downstairs?"
"What's wrong, Dwaky? You look weally sick!" she gasped, ignoring his last comment. "I'll go get Madam Pomfwey!"
"Pansy, WAIT!" Draco yelled, but she had already disappeared through the door.
"Duh - yup!" Goyle said and left.
~*~
Madam Pomfrey walked into the room, looking rather reluctant. Pansy followed close behind.
"Look, Madam Pomfwey! Doesn't he look pale?" she said, stabbing a stubby finger in Draco's direction.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash as Hagrid came thundering through the wall into the room, apparently unaware of the existence of a door. Madam Pomfrey was left staring at the Hagrid-shaped hole left in the wall. Pansy's mouth dropped open and her finger was still in the air.
Hagrid laughed heartily, facing Draco. "All righ' Harry?" His beard shook violently as he chuckled at his own unfunny joke. "Yeh aren' sick, are yeh?"
"No, I aren'. Yeh the one who's sick," Draco frowned. "And I'm not Harry," he added with an afterthought.
Hagrid looked crestfallen. "Yeh not?"
"Er.no."
"Oops." There was another loud crash as Hagrid ran smack into the wall to create a second hole next to the first one and exited.
"Stick out your tongue," Madam Pomfrey said stiffly, as if there was no break in the conversation.
"Um. Excuse me?" Draco said, looking bewildered.
"She said, stick out your tongue, Dwako," Pansy said, prying his mouth open. Draco stuck out his tongue feebly.
~*~
Madam Pomfrey gasped, "YOU. HAVE. SARS."
"Mars? What mars? You mean, Mars Bars?" Draco said.
"SARS," Madam Pomfrey repeated, sounding exasperated.
"Oh. SARS?! What's that? My father will have a fit!"
"Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome," Madam Pomfrey said, consulting her clipboard. She moved five paces backwards and put on a facemask. "It's contagious. Take a facemask too, Parkinson."
Pansy looked shocked. "Oh~~no!!! What happened to poor Dwaky? Is he going to die?"
"Uh.Dwaky?" Madam Pomfrey looked nonplussed.
"That," Draco snapped, "is not the point. Well, what are you waiting for? Cure me!"
"There's no cure," Madam Pomfrey said, frowning at her clipboard, which was a centimetre away from her nose.
"You need glasses," Draco said.
"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," she cut in, fixing him in a steely glare, "There's no cure for SARS. Not at the current moment, anyhow. Stay in bed and drink lots of juice."
"Shut up. You're not a doctor."
"Rude, aren't you?" Madam P. said, frowning. "Ten points from Slytherin, and detention. Meet Argus Filch at the Forbidden Forest on Friday, 5 p.m."
"Didn't know nurses could take points," Draco said scornfully.
"Just practicing," Madam P. said. "I heard Minerva saying it to random students when she's feeling bored. It does give you a lot of satisfaction."
"Oh, Madam Pomfwey, what should I do to help him?" Pansy said.
Suddenly, Draco hiccupped and a small slug slid out of his mouth. And another. And two more.
"Gee," Pansy said. "That looks really familiar."
"Of course it does," Madam Pomfrey said, looking triumphant. "That's what he did to Ron in the second year, remember? Doesn't feel too good, does it? Getting a taste of your own medicine?"
"I didn't do that to him!" protested Draco. "He did it on himself! It's his own fault he couldn't even afford a new wand.probably had to sell half his house for that broken one."
"Tough."
~*~
Crabbe and Goyle had refused to hang around holding up buckets for Draco, so Pansy was given the honour of doing that. Draco wasn't too pleased.
"Please go away," he said miserably.
"No, Dwaky, I have to stay and look after you," Pansy said, stepping in and out of the room through the hole Hagrid created to fetch empty buckets.
Draco groaned and smacked his forehead. As he did that a slug slithered out.
~*~
Suddenly, the door was pushed open. Hermione Granger strode in, wearing a facemask and holding an empty glass in her hand and Moste Potente Potions and a clipboard under her arm.
"ARGH! Mudblood breath!" Draco exclaimed, holding his nose. Pansy sprayed the air with an air freshener.
"In case you hadn't noticed," Granger said coldly, "I'm here to help you. I read about this potion.it's really effective.more effective than the normal cure for slug-belching."
"Why are you helping me?" Draco said suspiciously.
Granger rolled her eyes. "I'm only doing this for the benefit of my N.E.W.T.S. You know, it's good to have some hands-on experience, especially for Potions."
"How did you know about Dwaky's illness?" demanded Pansy.
"The whole school knows it! Dumbledore is handing out forms to find out who has been in contact with you for the past ten days. Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards!"
"Hey! That's my line!" Draco snapped.
"I know. I read it in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," Granger informed them.
"A book dedicated to Potty? Yuck! Wait till my father hears about that!"
~*~
A few moments passed as Granger busied herself with making a potion called Troll Snot Potion.
"Doesn't sound too pleasant, does it?" Draco said, feeling sick to his stomach. "Do I really have to drink it?"
"Be quiet, Malfoy," snapped Granger. "Ah, I think it's done."
She handed him a glass filled to the brim with Troll Snot Potion. Draco grimaced and took the glass without touching Granger's filthy hand. "Ugh. Mudblood filth," he said anyway.
"Drink it!" ordered Granger.
"How do we know you're not trying to poison poor Dwaky?" Pansy sniffed.
Granger looked outraged. "Drink it, if you want to get well! I'm not forcing you!" With that, she stormed out of the room. A few seconds later, she returned.
"I want to watch the results, you see," she explained.
Draco looked reluctantly at the potion. He gulped it down and turned the same colour as the potion -dark shit green.
Then his eyes rolled up to the back of his head, and he fainted.
~*~
"You.you were twying to poison Dwaco!" Pansy Parkinson pointed an accusing finger at Hermione.
"No, I wasn't! Honest!" Hermione said, shaking her head.
"Yeah, right!" spat Parkinson. She started sobbing, "Oh, Dwaky-kins! Don't leave me!"
"Ugh." Hermione shuddered. "So I guess the Troll Snot Potion failed." She scribbled something on the clipboard she was holding.
Just then, Harry and Ron entered the room. "Hermione! What are you doing in Malfoy's room?" Ron demanded.
"Oh, you know, experimenting on him," Hermione replied.
"What, you mean the Troll Snot Potion? We just read in Leaste Potente Potions that it only worsens the condition of the patient!" Harry exclaimed.
"Whoops," Hermione muttered. "But at least it isn't that serious.is it?"
Suddenly, Parkinson's shrieks split the air. "HE'S DEAD!!!"
"Wha-?" Hermione rushed and put a finger under Malfoy's nose. He wasn't breathing. Not much, anyway.
"ARGH! I'm in deep trouble! We have to get Madam Pomfrey!" she yelled.
"Why? Can't we just sit around and watch Malfoy die?" Ron said. "Then we can throw a party."
"No, we can't!" Hermione snapped. "If he dies, I'm a murderer!"
"Oh, yeah," Ron muttered, looking disappointed.
Just then, Parkinson left the room with Malfoy on her back. She was saying between sobs, "I'll find a place to bury you, Dwaky!"
Hermione and co. looked at each other and gasped, "Bury?"
"He isn't dead, is he?" Harry said, frowning.
"He was still breathing a little," Hermione said nervously.
"THAT MEANS HE'LL BE BURIED ALIVE!!!" Ron exclaimed. "Bloody brilliant! And by his own girlfriend, too!"
"We can't let that happen, we're heroines!" Hermione said.
"I mean, heroes and heroine," she quickly added when Harry and Ron gave her fierce looks.
So, Hermione and co. bolted out the door.
~*~