Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! (I know this isn't a KP fanfic, but
I did mention KP)
"Stop Looking Out the Vindow, Drrrraco!"
Chapter Four
Draco lifted his heavy eyelids with difficulty. He blinked and looked around. He realised he was sitting down in a leather seat and he was moving. Then he saw that in front of him, there was another leather seat and there was someone sitting in it.
"Where is this place?" murmured Draco, squinting at the person in front of him.
"Vhy, my car, of course!" the person replied without turning around.
"Oh. Right." Draco stared idly out of the car window.
"Hey! Stop looking out the vindow, Drrrrraco!"
Draco snapped out of his sleepy stupor. A surly-looking face was scowling at him. A really familiar face. Now, where have I seen that before? Draco thought. Suddenly, he knew.
"AIEEEEE!!!! VIKTOR KRUM!!!!!"
"Yes I'm Viktor Krum. Now STOP LOOKING OUT THE VINDOW!"
"Okay, okay!" Draco snapped. "Oh bummer, now I have to stop Krum from talking about vindows again. This is insane."
All of a sudden, another person appeared in the seat next to him.
"Twitchy little ferret, aren't you?" sneered Hermione Granger. Draco flinched as if she hit him. He did not like to be reminded of the emotional scar Moody had left on him. Or at least, the fake Moody.
"Get lost, Mudblood! You have no right to appear in my dreams, even if it is supposed to be a nightmare that I've met you. Clear off!" Draco snarled.
"Manners, Malfoy, manners!" Granger chided. "You wouldn't want to upset your father, now, would you?"
"What?!"
"Malfoy, shut up! Vat are you doing here, Hermy-own-ninny? I'm kidnapping that Malfoy. You're not involved in this!" Krum said.
"Well, I'm here to stop you from kidnapping Malfoy!" Granger retorted. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Viktor."
"Attagirl, Granger! Show him who's boss!" Draco exclaimed. Then he realised his grave mistake. "AACK! I cheered for a Mudblood! AACK!!!"
But everything seems to have gone strange today, he thought. When Granger heard I got SARS, she actually helped me by making that beastly potion. Although I don't think it worked. I think I fainted! Maybe Granger was trying to poison me, like Pansy kept saying. If that's the truth, then how come Granger helped me again? She put me in this funny wheely thingy and steered me back to my dormitory. I must have fallen asleep, since I'm dreaming now. Life's rather confusing, if you stop to think about it.
They say that dreams are the opposite of reality. But this Granger seems to be helping me like she had helped me when I was awake. So is this dream the opposite of the opposite of reality, i.e. reality? Should I trust Granger?
"GAH! Brain overload!" Draco fainted dead away, foaming at the mouth.
~*~
"Duh - Draco? Are you in there?" Crabbe and Goyle bounded into the room and stood, grinning stupidly.
There was no response.
"Draco?" Goyle said again, frowning slightly. He sensed something was wrong, which was quite a feat for someone as un-brainy as un-brainy gets as him. Crabbe, however, continued grinning idiotically as if nothing was happening.
Goyle nudged him. "D'you think something happened to Draco?"
"Nuh-uh," Crabbe said, trying to dismiss the thought, but it never even entered his mind in the first place, so he couldn't dismiss it, so he ended up looking a bit lost instead.
"Then what's that?" Goyle inquired, pointing to the figure lying on the floor. Crabbe looked. The figure had a silver-blonde head that shone like a newly polished helmet. Crabbe and Goyle looked at the figure, then at each other, then back at the figure.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~*~
"What's the big commotion?" snapped Snape, bursting into the room, followed by several other Slytherins.
"D-draco's d-dead! Wait a minute - again?" Crabbe said, frowning.
"Wot? Don't talk rot, Crabbe," scoffed Blaise Zabini.
Snape put his finger under Draco's nose. "He's still breathing. Escort him to the hospital wing, Zabini."
"I'll go, Pwofessor Snape," said Pansy, waving her arm in the air. She tripped over her own feet in her haste to help Draco up.
"Okay," said Blaise Zabini, ignoring her. "Wingardium Leviosa!" Draco floated ten inches off the ground and drifted after Blaise out of the room. Pansy ran after them.
~*~
Dumbledore was in a dilemma. The student, Draco Malfoy, was still unconscious with SARS. If they did not do anything about it soon, there might be more cases of SARS breaking out in Hogwarts. Like Madam Pomfrey said, it was contagious. He might have to send Malfoy to the Intensive Care Unit in St. Mungo's.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Harry and co. stepped into the room, holding cups of ghastly-looking potions.
"Hey, Big D! How's it going?" said Harry, giving Dumbledore a high five.
"Fine, ol' Potty boy!" Dumbledore said. "What's that beastly potion you're holding? A cure for SARS? Har de har!"
"Uh...it is a cure for SARS, Headmaster," Hermione said, looking a bit taken aback by Harry's casual behaviour.
"Oh. I see. WHAT?! You mean you discovered a cure at last?" Dumbledore stood up from his seat and climbed onto the table.
"Get a grip, Big D," Ron said, escorting him down. Dumbledore started hyperventilating.
"Bend over! Breathe into a plastic bag!" Hermione shouted, waving her arms like a windmill. Dumbledore ignored her and whipped out an inhaler from the inside of his robes. He took in a large, shuddering gulp of air as if he was imitating a whale. All the time Harry, Ron and Hermione watched him curiously.
Finally Dumbledore was breathing normally again. "Okay. You say you found a cure for SARS, Harry?"
"That's right, Big D. Cool, huh?"
"Actually," Hermione cut in, "I was the one who found it. It's the 3- in-one Potion and it can cure SARS. I think."
Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Will you pass me the potion?" he said. Ron handed him a glass of the beastly stuff. Dumbledore sniffed it. Then he froze in his seat for a few seconds...before fainting dead away.
"Whoops," Ron said sheepishly. "That was the Troll Snot Potion I handed him."
Hermione started running around the room and screaming like a banshee. "AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
"Now look what you've done, Ronny boy! You've killed Big D and driven Herm bananas!" Harry said in anguish.
And Ron was all, "Look, you're the one holding the 3-in-one Potion, so why didn't you give it to Big D just now, Potty boy?"
And Harry went, "Cos you went to give your potion to Big D, Ronny boy!"
"Wait a minute...where's ol' Hermy girl?"
~*~
"I don't want to go to Azkaban...I'm not going to Azkaban..." muttered Hermione to herself as she stuffed all her clothes and books into a gigantic suitcase. She kept shaking her head and sweeping Lavender Brown's belongings off the table and onto the floor. She tore down the stairs, dragging her heavy luggage with her.
"I don't want to go to Azkaban...EEEEUUUURRYYYGGGGHHH!!!!" Hermione let out a shriek when Parvati suddenly showed up in front of her.
"Hey! What's going on, Hermione? Are you sick or something?" said Parvati, watching Hermione closely.
"No...I'm fine!" Hermione blubbered. "Yes, I'm quite fine indeed, very, very fine. At least I think I'm fine."
Parvati's eyes widened and she started to back away. Then she ran up the stairs screaming. Hermione continued her way down the stairs, dragging her suitcase. Then she walked through Professor Binns, feeling as if she was taking a cold shower. Just as she was looking back and about to apologize, she stepped through Nearly Headless Nick.
"Where are you going, Miss Granger?" he asked, drifted around and looking kind of sad.
"I...I have to escape," Hermione whispered, eyes darting around. "I've killed the Headmaster!"
Nearly Headless Nick frowned. "The Headmaster is now in the hospital wing, Miss Granger. He's well and fine. Just fell into unconsciousness after sniffing some Troll Snot Potion."
"Oh. HUH?! Are you serious? I'm not a murderer?" Hermione said, dropping her luggage with a thud. "I'M NOT A MURDERER! HALLELUJAH! Bless you, NHN!" She cried, doing cartwheels around the school.
Then she rushed to the hospital wing. Dumbledore was reading The Quibbler (Luna would be pleased) in the hospital bed and humming Weasley is our King under his breath. He looked up and peered at Hermione through his half-moon glasses. They stared at each other.
"Em...do I know you?" Dumbledore uttered at last. Hermione gasped. He's lost his memory?!?!?!?
"Excuse me," said a voice. Hermione turned and saw Draco Malfoy in another bed, staring transfixed at a tiny television set, which was floating in mid-air. The television was playing a distorted chorus of the Kim Possible theme song.
"Will you kindly pass the bowl of peeled grapes?" Malfoy drawled. "It's just over there, on the table. See that bowl? You know, B-O-W-L? B...o...w...l? It's sort of round, and - "
"KIM POSSIBLE???" Hermione said, also staring at the television screen. "YOU WATCH KIM POSSIBLE???"
"Yeah, I do," Malfoy said. "Why? Got a problem with that? Huh? What's wrong, Mudblood? Ever heard of entertainment? Hmm?"
"No," Hermione said, shaking her head. "It's just...I WATCH KIM POSSIBLE TOO!!! Isn't she the coolest?"
"So not," Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. "I think Ron Stoppable is so much cooler."
"You feel like you can relate to him?" Hermione said slyly.
"Yeah. Wait a minute - are you saying I'm a loser?" Malfoy demanded.
"Oh, no, of course not. Why would I do that?"
"Why do I have a feeling I'm being mocked?"
"Silencio!" Dumbledore said suddenly. Hermione and Malfoy fell silent. Even Kim Possible fell silent and stared at him. Of course, he didn't have a wand, so the charm didn't work.
"Headmaster? Headmaster? Do you remember me?" Hermione asked, flapping a hand in front of his face.
Dumbledore gazed at her with his luminous blue eyes. He said, sadly, "No. I do not. Am I really the Headmaster? I can't remember anything."
Malfoy snorted. "He's not fit to be the Headmaster. He has never been. My father says Dumbledore's the worst thing that happened to Hogwarts."
"Yeah, yeah, your father this, your father that, yadda yadda yadda," Hermione said scornfully. But he was right - Dumbledore couldn't be the Headmaster anymore. And it was all her fault.
Well, Ron's fault, actually. But still, she should have told him not to complicate things by bringing the Troll Snot Potion along. Darn that TSP - it landed her in trouble twice!
Just then, the door opened and Professors McGonagall, Snape, Sprout and Flitwick strode in, looking dead serious. Hermione gulped. Malfoy's eyes were glued to the TV screen.
It was Professor McGonagall who first started talking. "Granger, I'm glad you're here. Come here, and we will have a little chat," she said sternly. Hermione realised Harry and Ron were standing behind Prof. McGonagall.
"Ooh, Kim Possible is on!" Professor Sprout said, looking excited. The other professors glared at her and she clammed up, looking solemn again.
Herm and co. sat down on a hospital bed while the professors sat on another. "Well," Prof. McGonagall continued, "Professor Dumbledore has lost his memory, which I'm sure you're aware of, Granger."
Hermione sighed and nodded. "WOT?!" Harry and Ron uttered simultaneously, looking absolutely flabbergasted.
"Yes," Prof. Snape said somberly. "The Headmaster has lost his memory, and it's all thanks to your...so-called cure for SARS."
"I beg to differ," Ron said. "The cure for SARS is the 3-in-one Potion. I gave Big...the Headmaster the Troll Snot Potion. By mistake, of course," he added quickly.
Snape raised a greasy eyebrow. "Oh? We'll see about that...Here!" he said triumphantly, brandishing a glass of the potion Ron gave to Dumbledore. It was hissing like a kettle.
"Only the Deadly Potion hisses in contact with olive oil! You've given the Headmaster the Deadly Potion! Luckily, the Headmaster had only sniffed it, otherwise..."
"Ahem." All heads turned to look at Malfoy, who was busy eating peeled grapes and watching TV. He pried his eyes away from the TV screen and looked at Snape. "I drank that potion."
"No you didn't!" snapped Snape.
Herm and co. sniggered.
"Yes I did!" Malfoy snapped back.
"Yeah, and I can prove it!" said Hermione, standing up. Snape glared at her.
"Oh yeah? How?"
Hermione looked smug. "Don't believe me? Watch the VCR." Suddenly, the TV started playing a video of what happened that day...
-----
READ??? REVIEW!!!
Geez! That must be the longest chapter I've ever written so far! A total of 2,052 words!
O_o
o_O
"Stop Looking Out the Vindow, Drrrraco!"
Chapter Four
Draco lifted his heavy eyelids with difficulty. He blinked and looked around. He realised he was sitting down in a leather seat and he was moving. Then he saw that in front of him, there was another leather seat and there was someone sitting in it.
"Where is this place?" murmured Draco, squinting at the person in front of him.
"Vhy, my car, of course!" the person replied without turning around.
"Oh. Right." Draco stared idly out of the car window.
"Hey! Stop looking out the vindow, Drrrrraco!"
Draco snapped out of his sleepy stupor. A surly-looking face was scowling at him. A really familiar face. Now, where have I seen that before? Draco thought. Suddenly, he knew.
"AIEEEEE!!!! VIKTOR KRUM!!!!!"
"Yes I'm Viktor Krum. Now STOP LOOKING OUT THE VINDOW!"
"Okay, okay!" Draco snapped. "Oh bummer, now I have to stop Krum from talking about vindows again. This is insane."
All of a sudden, another person appeared in the seat next to him.
"Twitchy little ferret, aren't you?" sneered Hermione Granger. Draco flinched as if she hit him. He did not like to be reminded of the emotional scar Moody had left on him. Or at least, the fake Moody.
"Get lost, Mudblood! You have no right to appear in my dreams, even if it is supposed to be a nightmare that I've met you. Clear off!" Draco snarled.
"Manners, Malfoy, manners!" Granger chided. "You wouldn't want to upset your father, now, would you?"
"What?!"
"Malfoy, shut up! Vat are you doing here, Hermy-own-ninny? I'm kidnapping that Malfoy. You're not involved in this!" Krum said.
"Well, I'm here to stop you from kidnapping Malfoy!" Granger retorted. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Viktor."
"Attagirl, Granger! Show him who's boss!" Draco exclaimed. Then he realised his grave mistake. "AACK! I cheered for a Mudblood! AACK!!!"
But everything seems to have gone strange today, he thought. When Granger heard I got SARS, she actually helped me by making that beastly potion. Although I don't think it worked. I think I fainted! Maybe Granger was trying to poison me, like Pansy kept saying. If that's the truth, then how come Granger helped me again? She put me in this funny wheely thingy and steered me back to my dormitory. I must have fallen asleep, since I'm dreaming now. Life's rather confusing, if you stop to think about it.
They say that dreams are the opposite of reality. But this Granger seems to be helping me like she had helped me when I was awake. So is this dream the opposite of the opposite of reality, i.e. reality? Should I trust Granger?
"GAH! Brain overload!" Draco fainted dead away, foaming at the mouth.
~*~
"Duh - Draco? Are you in there?" Crabbe and Goyle bounded into the room and stood, grinning stupidly.
There was no response.
"Draco?" Goyle said again, frowning slightly. He sensed something was wrong, which was quite a feat for someone as un-brainy as un-brainy gets as him. Crabbe, however, continued grinning idiotically as if nothing was happening.
Goyle nudged him. "D'you think something happened to Draco?"
"Nuh-uh," Crabbe said, trying to dismiss the thought, but it never even entered his mind in the first place, so he couldn't dismiss it, so he ended up looking a bit lost instead.
"Then what's that?" Goyle inquired, pointing to the figure lying on the floor. Crabbe looked. The figure had a silver-blonde head that shone like a newly polished helmet. Crabbe and Goyle looked at the figure, then at each other, then back at the figure.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~*~
"What's the big commotion?" snapped Snape, bursting into the room, followed by several other Slytherins.
"D-draco's d-dead! Wait a minute - again?" Crabbe said, frowning.
"Wot? Don't talk rot, Crabbe," scoffed Blaise Zabini.
Snape put his finger under Draco's nose. "He's still breathing. Escort him to the hospital wing, Zabini."
"I'll go, Pwofessor Snape," said Pansy, waving her arm in the air. She tripped over her own feet in her haste to help Draco up.
"Okay," said Blaise Zabini, ignoring her. "Wingardium Leviosa!" Draco floated ten inches off the ground and drifted after Blaise out of the room. Pansy ran after them.
~*~
Dumbledore was in a dilemma. The student, Draco Malfoy, was still unconscious with SARS. If they did not do anything about it soon, there might be more cases of SARS breaking out in Hogwarts. Like Madam Pomfrey said, it was contagious. He might have to send Malfoy to the Intensive Care Unit in St. Mungo's.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Harry and co. stepped into the room, holding cups of ghastly-looking potions.
"Hey, Big D! How's it going?" said Harry, giving Dumbledore a high five.
"Fine, ol' Potty boy!" Dumbledore said. "What's that beastly potion you're holding? A cure for SARS? Har de har!"
"Uh...it is a cure for SARS, Headmaster," Hermione said, looking a bit taken aback by Harry's casual behaviour.
"Oh. I see. WHAT?! You mean you discovered a cure at last?" Dumbledore stood up from his seat and climbed onto the table.
"Get a grip, Big D," Ron said, escorting him down. Dumbledore started hyperventilating.
"Bend over! Breathe into a plastic bag!" Hermione shouted, waving her arms like a windmill. Dumbledore ignored her and whipped out an inhaler from the inside of his robes. He took in a large, shuddering gulp of air as if he was imitating a whale. All the time Harry, Ron and Hermione watched him curiously.
Finally Dumbledore was breathing normally again. "Okay. You say you found a cure for SARS, Harry?"
"That's right, Big D. Cool, huh?"
"Actually," Hermione cut in, "I was the one who found it. It's the 3- in-one Potion and it can cure SARS. I think."
Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Will you pass me the potion?" he said. Ron handed him a glass of the beastly stuff. Dumbledore sniffed it. Then he froze in his seat for a few seconds...before fainting dead away.
"Whoops," Ron said sheepishly. "That was the Troll Snot Potion I handed him."
Hermione started running around the room and screaming like a banshee. "AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
"Now look what you've done, Ronny boy! You've killed Big D and driven Herm bananas!" Harry said in anguish.
And Ron was all, "Look, you're the one holding the 3-in-one Potion, so why didn't you give it to Big D just now, Potty boy?"
And Harry went, "Cos you went to give your potion to Big D, Ronny boy!"
"Wait a minute...where's ol' Hermy girl?"
~*~
"I don't want to go to Azkaban...I'm not going to Azkaban..." muttered Hermione to herself as she stuffed all her clothes and books into a gigantic suitcase. She kept shaking her head and sweeping Lavender Brown's belongings off the table and onto the floor. She tore down the stairs, dragging her heavy luggage with her.
"I don't want to go to Azkaban...EEEEUUUURRYYYGGGGHHH!!!!" Hermione let out a shriek when Parvati suddenly showed up in front of her.
"Hey! What's going on, Hermione? Are you sick or something?" said Parvati, watching Hermione closely.
"No...I'm fine!" Hermione blubbered. "Yes, I'm quite fine indeed, very, very fine. At least I think I'm fine."
Parvati's eyes widened and she started to back away. Then she ran up the stairs screaming. Hermione continued her way down the stairs, dragging her suitcase. Then she walked through Professor Binns, feeling as if she was taking a cold shower. Just as she was looking back and about to apologize, she stepped through Nearly Headless Nick.
"Where are you going, Miss Granger?" he asked, drifted around and looking kind of sad.
"I...I have to escape," Hermione whispered, eyes darting around. "I've killed the Headmaster!"
Nearly Headless Nick frowned. "The Headmaster is now in the hospital wing, Miss Granger. He's well and fine. Just fell into unconsciousness after sniffing some Troll Snot Potion."
"Oh. HUH?! Are you serious? I'm not a murderer?" Hermione said, dropping her luggage with a thud. "I'M NOT A MURDERER! HALLELUJAH! Bless you, NHN!" She cried, doing cartwheels around the school.
Then she rushed to the hospital wing. Dumbledore was reading The Quibbler (Luna would be pleased) in the hospital bed and humming Weasley is our King under his breath. He looked up and peered at Hermione through his half-moon glasses. They stared at each other.
"Em...do I know you?" Dumbledore uttered at last. Hermione gasped. He's lost his memory?!?!?!?
"Excuse me," said a voice. Hermione turned and saw Draco Malfoy in another bed, staring transfixed at a tiny television set, which was floating in mid-air. The television was playing a distorted chorus of the Kim Possible theme song.
"Will you kindly pass the bowl of peeled grapes?" Malfoy drawled. "It's just over there, on the table. See that bowl? You know, B-O-W-L? B...o...w...l? It's sort of round, and - "
"KIM POSSIBLE???" Hermione said, also staring at the television screen. "YOU WATCH KIM POSSIBLE???"
"Yeah, I do," Malfoy said. "Why? Got a problem with that? Huh? What's wrong, Mudblood? Ever heard of entertainment? Hmm?"
"No," Hermione said, shaking her head. "It's just...I WATCH KIM POSSIBLE TOO!!! Isn't she the coolest?"
"So not," Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. "I think Ron Stoppable is so much cooler."
"You feel like you can relate to him?" Hermione said slyly.
"Yeah. Wait a minute - are you saying I'm a loser?" Malfoy demanded.
"Oh, no, of course not. Why would I do that?"
"Why do I have a feeling I'm being mocked?"
"Silencio!" Dumbledore said suddenly. Hermione and Malfoy fell silent. Even Kim Possible fell silent and stared at him. Of course, he didn't have a wand, so the charm didn't work.
"Headmaster? Headmaster? Do you remember me?" Hermione asked, flapping a hand in front of his face.
Dumbledore gazed at her with his luminous blue eyes. He said, sadly, "No. I do not. Am I really the Headmaster? I can't remember anything."
Malfoy snorted. "He's not fit to be the Headmaster. He has never been. My father says Dumbledore's the worst thing that happened to Hogwarts."
"Yeah, yeah, your father this, your father that, yadda yadda yadda," Hermione said scornfully. But he was right - Dumbledore couldn't be the Headmaster anymore. And it was all her fault.
Well, Ron's fault, actually. But still, she should have told him not to complicate things by bringing the Troll Snot Potion along. Darn that TSP - it landed her in trouble twice!
Just then, the door opened and Professors McGonagall, Snape, Sprout and Flitwick strode in, looking dead serious. Hermione gulped. Malfoy's eyes were glued to the TV screen.
It was Professor McGonagall who first started talking. "Granger, I'm glad you're here. Come here, and we will have a little chat," she said sternly. Hermione realised Harry and Ron were standing behind Prof. McGonagall.
"Ooh, Kim Possible is on!" Professor Sprout said, looking excited. The other professors glared at her and she clammed up, looking solemn again.
Herm and co. sat down on a hospital bed while the professors sat on another. "Well," Prof. McGonagall continued, "Professor Dumbledore has lost his memory, which I'm sure you're aware of, Granger."
Hermione sighed and nodded. "WOT?!" Harry and Ron uttered simultaneously, looking absolutely flabbergasted.
"Yes," Prof. Snape said somberly. "The Headmaster has lost his memory, and it's all thanks to your...so-called cure for SARS."
"I beg to differ," Ron said. "The cure for SARS is the 3-in-one Potion. I gave Big...the Headmaster the Troll Snot Potion. By mistake, of course," he added quickly.
Snape raised a greasy eyebrow. "Oh? We'll see about that...Here!" he said triumphantly, brandishing a glass of the potion Ron gave to Dumbledore. It was hissing like a kettle.
"Only the Deadly Potion hisses in contact with olive oil! You've given the Headmaster the Deadly Potion! Luckily, the Headmaster had only sniffed it, otherwise..."
"Ahem." All heads turned to look at Malfoy, who was busy eating peeled grapes and watching TV. He pried his eyes away from the TV screen and looked at Snape. "I drank that potion."
"No you didn't!" snapped Snape.
Herm and co. sniggered.
"Yes I did!" Malfoy snapped back.
"Yeah, and I can prove it!" said Hermione, standing up. Snape glared at her.
"Oh yeah? How?"
Hermione looked smug. "Don't believe me? Watch the VCR." Suddenly, the TV started playing a video of what happened that day...
-----
READ??? REVIEW!!!
Geez! That must be the longest chapter I've ever written so far! A total of 2,052 words!
O_o
o_O