Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon either!!!
"Stop Looking Out the Vindow, Drrrraco!"
Chapter Five
"Hey! I was watching that!" Malfoy snapped when Prof. Snape zapped off Kim Possible.
"Shh! It's starting!" said Sprout in a hushed voice. "This is so exciting! Teehee!"
"Sheesh," muttered Snape. Everyone watched the TV intently.
~*~
"Drink it!" ordered the Hermione on the VCR.
"How do we know you're not trying to poison poor Dwaky?" Pansy sniffed.
Hermione looked outraged. The real Hermione winced, muttering, "I look ugly."
"Silencio!" said everyone else in the room. Hermione was silenced, and everyone looked back at the TV.
"Drink it, if you want to get well! I'm not forcing you!" With that, VCR Hermione stormed out of the room. A few seconds later, she returned.
"I want to watch the results, you see," she explained.
VCR Malfoy looked reluctantly at the potion. He gulped it down and turned the same colour as the potion -dark shit green.
Then his eyes rolled up to the back of his head, and he fainted. The real Malfoy grimaced and smacked his forehead in utter disgust.
~*~
"See? See? He was drinking the very same potion you're holding right now," Hermione told Snape. "But he's still alive. That proves we didn't give the Headmaster the Deadly Potion."
Snape curled his lip. "Hrrrmph," he said and left in a huff.
"So," Flitwick said brightly, "Harry and co. weren't trying to murder the Headmaster after all!"
"Big whoop," Malfoy muttered. "Can I switch back to Kids Central now?"
"NO!!!" McGonagall barked into his ear. "How can you think of cartoons at a time like this?"
"At a time like wot?!" Malfoy barked right back.
McGonagall turned blue in the face. "A time like THIS!!!!!!" she exploded. Then she started pacing the floor, muttering to herself. "The Headmaster is now suffering from amnesia, but we can't possibly find a substitute Headmaster in such a short notice."
"Yes, we can," said Flitwick brightly. Again. "In fact, we've already found one."
BANG!!!
Everyone swiveled around, shocked at the sudden noise. Hagrid had knocked down the wall of the hospital wing and bounded in. Madam Pomfrey passed out in shock. Or maybe it was because of the fact that she was responsible for any damages to the hospital wing, and that there was a portrait of her idol, Michael Jackson, on that particular wall.
"Hello, lame old folks. Cake is rat clock," Hagrid recited.
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "What's this half-blood klutz doing here? And he's talking gibberish, too. How intelligent."
"Don't tell me...Hagrid's the new Headmaster?" Harry said in half- shock, half-amazement.
"That will be correct," Snape said.
There was a stunned silence.
"Wait a minute...oh, wrong script. I take that back. It's supposed to be, 'Heavens, no! What's Hagrid doing here? Get rid of him.'"
Hagrid let out a loud roar of protest as Sprout and McGonagall escorted him out. Snape uttered, "Repairo," and the wall was back to normal. Madam Pomfrey let out a sigh of relief (she had regained consciousness).
"Hey! You didn't wait for Professors Sprout and McGonagall to return!" Hermione said to Snape.
"Oh. Well, too bad for them," Snape said, shrugging. "So who's the new Headmaster?"
The door swung open, and a dark figure stood in the doorway. Just at that moment, a clap of thunder split the air and it started raining. Madam Pomfrey fainted again.
"Okay, cue the spooky music," Ron said. The theme song from Kim Possible went on again.
"I said SPOOKY MUSIC."
This time, the Pokemon theme song went on. "Fair enough," Ron said, nodding with satisfaction.
The dark figure stepped into the room, its face half in shadow. Hermione stared at it, frowning. Somehow she had seen this face...or rather, half this face...before. But where?
Now the figure's face was completely out of shadow, and all of a sudden, Hermione knew where she had seen the face. And that bubble gum pink hair.
"NYMPHADORA TONKS???" Snape said, his face pale (and greasy).
"TONKS?!?!?!" Hermione and Ron said at the same time.
"GRANDMA?!?!?!?!" exclaimed Harry. "OOOOOOOWWWWWWW-SSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" He fell to his knees, holding his head. "Scar...hurts..."
"Wait a second...what did you just call me?" Tonks said, looking utterly shocked.
"Tonks! I never knew you were Harry's grandma!" Flitwick said brightly. Snape glared at him and told him to stop saying things brightly when there's nothing to feel bright about.
"I'm not his grandma!!!" Tonks said in protest. "Hermione, send Harry here to the hospital wing - no, wait, this is the hospital wing."
"Not doing very well as the new Headmistress, are you? Flitwick, please escort Miss Tonks out," Snape said scornfully. "Anyway, I don't think grandmas are allowed to be Headmistress."
"But, Professor Snape, other than Nymphadora..."
"TONKS..."
"Whatever...other than Tonks, we don't have any more suitable substitutes," Flitwick said not so brightly.
"Oh yeah? What about...me?" Snape said, slicking back his oily hair.
There was another stunned silence.
"Is anyone taking notice of the fact that...HARRY IS DYING?!?!?!" Ron yelled.
Flitwick squeaked and tumbled out of sight. Snape curled his lip. Tonks chewed her fake fingernails. Hermione ran to rouse Madam Pomfrey. Malfoy jumped out of bed to express amusement as Harry neared death's doorsteps.
Ron ran to call an ambulance, shaking the phone cord dramatically. "Yes, it is Harry Potter I'm talking about...yes, yes, the boy who lived, blah blah blah, yeah, yeah, the famous Seeker...WILL YA JUST SHUT UP AND COME??? HARRY'S SO DELIRIOUS HE THINKS THE HEADMISTRESS IS HIS GRANDMA, OKAY???"
With that, he slammed down the phone.
~*~
Draco had never been so delighted in his entire life. Potter, dead! What an occasion! He must follow him the hospital to mock him.
Just as he was about to climb into the ambulance, the Weasel stopped him. "Get lost, Malfoy. You're not welcome," he snapped.
"Who says?" Draco argued.
"Look, we're wasting time," Granger said irritably. "Just let him get on, or he'll just delay us."
"That's more like it," Draco said, getting into the ambulance. Weasley looked ready to kill.
~*~
Soon, they reached St. Mungo's. Harry was lifted out on a stretcher, while Draco, Ron and Hermione ran alongside him as he was wheeled to the emergency room.
"I hope you die, Potter. DIE!!!" Draco cackled. There was another loud clap of thunder.
"NO!!! You mustn't die, Harry, you mustn't!" Hermione said, trying to mask Draco's voice.
Harry opened one eye. "Hermione, Ron," he wheezed, "take good care of Hedwig. And see to it that Grandma takes her pills regularly."
Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks as they watched Harry being wheeled into the Emergency Room. The door swung shut and the light saying 'Emergency' went on. Hermione started chewing her fingernails and pacing the floor. Ron sat down on a nearby chair and rubbed his temples, frowning like Professor Snape when he looked into Neville's cauldron.
"This is boring," Draco said. "Anyone for Old Maid?"
Ron and Hermione glared at him. Draco put away his deck of cards, folded his arms and sulked.
Suddenly, the door of the ER swung open. A doctor came out, took off his glasses and shook his head slowly.
"Sorry, we have tried our best," he said with a despondent sigh. Then he walked away.
"JESUM CRACKERS!!!!!" Ron screamed.
"Aw, how sad," Draco said, "The boy who lived is now the boy who died. Sad, sad."
Seconds after his made that statement, he collapsed onto the floor, writhing in pain. Ron stared daggers at him.
"Serves you right, Malfoy! 'What goes round, comes round,' as the saying goes. C'mon, let's go, Hermione."
"Step aside, Ron," Hermione snapped at him. "Can't you see Draco's in pain?"
Ron was taken aback. What in the world was Hermione doing? Firstly, she showed no response to the fact that Harry was dead. Secondly, she just told him to step aside. What is up with that? Thirdly...she referred to Malfoy as 'Draco!'
"Something is seriously wrong with you, Mione," Ron said, staring as she helped Malfoy up and escorted him into the Emergency Room. The door swung shut, blowing wind in Ron's face. Ron scowled.
~*~
"Please," Hermione said, whipping out her 3-in-one Potion, "You have to listen to me! This is really the cure for SARS! Honest!"
The doctor's lip curled. "I don't think so, Missy. Nurse Helga, please show her the way out."
"Certainly," replied Nurse Helga, grabbing Hermione's arms. Hermione struggled and tried not to spill the 3-in-one Potion at the same time.
"Let go of me! Please, you have to believe me! Quick, give the patient this potion or he will die! And you wouldn't want that, would you?" Hermione asked the doctor.
"That's precisely why I don't want to give him that grisly potion."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I give up." She snapped her fingers. "Fluffy!"
The door swung open and Hagrid's three-headed dog thundered in, growling menacingly. All the medical staff fainted dead away, and Hermione seized the chance to pour the 3-in-one Potion down Draco's throat. Draco coughed violently. Then he stood up.
"I'm cured!" he exclaimed, his legs kicking out in some sort of a quickstep.
"HELL YEAH!!! I'm definitely going to pass my Potions with an 'O' this year!!!" Hermione exclaimed, punching the air.
Draco blinked.
"Um...I mean, how do you feel, now, Malfoy? Fine? A little queasy, perhaps?" Hermione had her clipboard out again.
"Oh, I'm feeling fine, I guess," Draco drawled. Hermione scribbled furiously.
Professors Snape, McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick suddenly burst into the room. "GRANGER!!! What in the world do you think you're DOING?!?!?!" Snape demanded. "Do you know that by doing this, you're putting Draco's life in danger?"
"Actually," Professor McGonagall said, "Malfoy seems fine to me. I mean, I don't think critically ill patients suffering from SARS can tap dance."
Draco, upon realizing that he was still doing a quickstep, quickly stopped himself, clearing his throat.
"Oh. WHAT?!?!?!" Snape jumped five feet into the air. "You mean...you mean...you mean...HUH?!?!?"
"Yes," Hermione said triumphantly. "Indeed, I, the Great Honourable One, have found a cure for SARS and made the potion single-handedly! BWAHAHAHHURHAHA!!!!!!!!"
Everyone stared at her.
"Okay, okay, not really single-handedly. I enlisted the help of Harry and Ron..."
"WHAT??? THOSE SQUEEBS???" Malfoy said in disgust. "What is in that potion you gave me anyway?"
-----
READ??? REVIEW!!!
ALAMAK!!! ADOI!!! 22 reviews! Thank yew very much indeed, I say, thank yew very much indeed. The following thank you's are for the reviewers of the first three chapters...
Feronia: Hey, thanks! I find it odd too! Actually this fic started out as an imaginary story my sister and I made up. So I had an idea and typed it all out on the computer.
Pookie Monster: Thank you for reviewing every chappie! HA. Severus Acute Respiratory Syndrome.
looneymoon: I'm glad you like this fic. Could you, by any chance, be a fan of Luna?
Irish Pixie: Yeah, nothing seems to go right for Draco. I'll try to improve things for him a little. Okay maybe not - he's about to find out he drank Harry's toenails.
poo Bah: Thanks for reviewing!
Emily14: You know, at first I didn't really want to keep writing. Then I changed my mind. I think it's because of writer's block.
777: Thank you very much!
madness: ahahahaha...Luna's laughter is contagious...
Athalia: Yes, I agree. It's strange. At least, the dream is. And Hagrid's poetry.
The Llama in My Head: Heh. Ode to Lame Jokes.
chickabiddy: Thanks..._
c.g.: Actually I did get the idea from somewhere else...my sister. Incredibly, we started making up this story when we were in a car.
Vanyaria Darkshadow: ThAnKs...yes, it's a very random fic.
HotDog-Jo: Hope it wouldn't still be confusing when I get to the later chapters...anyway, thanks!
SugarQuillGal: thank you! I leave cliffhangers at every chapter. Reminds me of a drama serial.
bah: Glad you found it funny, even if Krum didn't. Everyone, meet bah, the sistah who contributed to the wacko fic!!!
The Social Leper: thank yew very much!
Bellatrix Black: Thanks for being the first person to review ^_^!!! Er...now I don't think it's very action packed. Ok, maybe slightly. I remember I changed it to Humor/Suspense, but it still doesn't strike to me as a suspenseful fic either...-_-;;
"Stop Looking Out the Vindow, Drrrraco!"
Chapter Five
"Hey! I was watching that!" Malfoy snapped when Prof. Snape zapped off Kim Possible.
"Shh! It's starting!" said Sprout in a hushed voice. "This is so exciting! Teehee!"
"Sheesh," muttered Snape. Everyone watched the TV intently.
~*~
"Drink it!" ordered the Hermione on the VCR.
"How do we know you're not trying to poison poor Dwaky?" Pansy sniffed.
Hermione looked outraged. The real Hermione winced, muttering, "I look ugly."
"Silencio!" said everyone else in the room. Hermione was silenced, and everyone looked back at the TV.
"Drink it, if you want to get well! I'm not forcing you!" With that, VCR Hermione stormed out of the room. A few seconds later, she returned.
"I want to watch the results, you see," she explained.
VCR Malfoy looked reluctantly at the potion. He gulped it down and turned the same colour as the potion -dark shit green.
Then his eyes rolled up to the back of his head, and he fainted. The real Malfoy grimaced and smacked his forehead in utter disgust.
~*~
"See? See? He was drinking the very same potion you're holding right now," Hermione told Snape. "But he's still alive. That proves we didn't give the Headmaster the Deadly Potion."
Snape curled his lip. "Hrrrmph," he said and left in a huff.
"So," Flitwick said brightly, "Harry and co. weren't trying to murder the Headmaster after all!"
"Big whoop," Malfoy muttered. "Can I switch back to Kids Central now?"
"NO!!!" McGonagall barked into his ear. "How can you think of cartoons at a time like this?"
"At a time like wot?!" Malfoy barked right back.
McGonagall turned blue in the face. "A time like THIS!!!!!!" she exploded. Then she started pacing the floor, muttering to herself. "The Headmaster is now suffering from amnesia, but we can't possibly find a substitute Headmaster in such a short notice."
"Yes, we can," said Flitwick brightly. Again. "In fact, we've already found one."
BANG!!!
Everyone swiveled around, shocked at the sudden noise. Hagrid had knocked down the wall of the hospital wing and bounded in. Madam Pomfrey passed out in shock. Or maybe it was because of the fact that she was responsible for any damages to the hospital wing, and that there was a portrait of her idol, Michael Jackson, on that particular wall.
"Hello, lame old folks. Cake is rat clock," Hagrid recited.
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "What's this half-blood klutz doing here? And he's talking gibberish, too. How intelligent."
"Don't tell me...Hagrid's the new Headmaster?" Harry said in half- shock, half-amazement.
"That will be correct," Snape said.
There was a stunned silence.
"Wait a minute...oh, wrong script. I take that back. It's supposed to be, 'Heavens, no! What's Hagrid doing here? Get rid of him.'"
Hagrid let out a loud roar of protest as Sprout and McGonagall escorted him out. Snape uttered, "Repairo," and the wall was back to normal. Madam Pomfrey let out a sigh of relief (she had regained consciousness).
"Hey! You didn't wait for Professors Sprout and McGonagall to return!" Hermione said to Snape.
"Oh. Well, too bad for them," Snape said, shrugging. "So who's the new Headmaster?"
The door swung open, and a dark figure stood in the doorway. Just at that moment, a clap of thunder split the air and it started raining. Madam Pomfrey fainted again.
"Okay, cue the spooky music," Ron said. The theme song from Kim Possible went on again.
"I said SPOOKY MUSIC."
This time, the Pokemon theme song went on. "Fair enough," Ron said, nodding with satisfaction.
The dark figure stepped into the room, its face half in shadow. Hermione stared at it, frowning. Somehow she had seen this face...or rather, half this face...before. But where?
Now the figure's face was completely out of shadow, and all of a sudden, Hermione knew where she had seen the face. And that bubble gum pink hair.
"NYMPHADORA TONKS???" Snape said, his face pale (and greasy).
"TONKS?!?!?!" Hermione and Ron said at the same time.
"GRANDMA?!?!?!?!" exclaimed Harry. "OOOOOOOWWWWWWW-SSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" He fell to his knees, holding his head. "Scar...hurts..."
"Wait a second...what did you just call me?" Tonks said, looking utterly shocked.
"Tonks! I never knew you were Harry's grandma!" Flitwick said brightly. Snape glared at him and told him to stop saying things brightly when there's nothing to feel bright about.
"I'm not his grandma!!!" Tonks said in protest. "Hermione, send Harry here to the hospital wing - no, wait, this is the hospital wing."
"Not doing very well as the new Headmistress, are you? Flitwick, please escort Miss Tonks out," Snape said scornfully. "Anyway, I don't think grandmas are allowed to be Headmistress."
"But, Professor Snape, other than Nymphadora..."
"TONKS..."
"Whatever...other than Tonks, we don't have any more suitable substitutes," Flitwick said not so brightly.
"Oh yeah? What about...me?" Snape said, slicking back his oily hair.
There was another stunned silence.
"Is anyone taking notice of the fact that...HARRY IS DYING?!?!?!" Ron yelled.
Flitwick squeaked and tumbled out of sight. Snape curled his lip. Tonks chewed her fake fingernails. Hermione ran to rouse Madam Pomfrey. Malfoy jumped out of bed to express amusement as Harry neared death's doorsteps.
Ron ran to call an ambulance, shaking the phone cord dramatically. "Yes, it is Harry Potter I'm talking about...yes, yes, the boy who lived, blah blah blah, yeah, yeah, the famous Seeker...WILL YA JUST SHUT UP AND COME??? HARRY'S SO DELIRIOUS HE THINKS THE HEADMISTRESS IS HIS GRANDMA, OKAY???"
With that, he slammed down the phone.
~*~
Draco had never been so delighted in his entire life. Potter, dead! What an occasion! He must follow him the hospital to mock him.
Just as he was about to climb into the ambulance, the Weasel stopped him. "Get lost, Malfoy. You're not welcome," he snapped.
"Who says?" Draco argued.
"Look, we're wasting time," Granger said irritably. "Just let him get on, or he'll just delay us."
"That's more like it," Draco said, getting into the ambulance. Weasley looked ready to kill.
~*~
Soon, they reached St. Mungo's. Harry was lifted out on a stretcher, while Draco, Ron and Hermione ran alongside him as he was wheeled to the emergency room.
"I hope you die, Potter. DIE!!!" Draco cackled. There was another loud clap of thunder.
"NO!!! You mustn't die, Harry, you mustn't!" Hermione said, trying to mask Draco's voice.
Harry opened one eye. "Hermione, Ron," he wheezed, "take good care of Hedwig. And see to it that Grandma takes her pills regularly."
Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks as they watched Harry being wheeled into the Emergency Room. The door swung shut and the light saying 'Emergency' went on. Hermione started chewing her fingernails and pacing the floor. Ron sat down on a nearby chair and rubbed his temples, frowning like Professor Snape when he looked into Neville's cauldron.
"This is boring," Draco said. "Anyone for Old Maid?"
Ron and Hermione glared at him. Draco put away his deck of cards, folded his arms and sulked.
Suddenly, the door of the ER swung open. A doctor came out, took off his glasses and shook his head slowly.
"Sorry, we have tried our best," he said with a despondent sigh. Then he walked away.
"JESUM CRACKERS!!!!!" Ron screamed.
"Aw, how sad," Draco said, "The boy who lived is now the boy who died. Sad, sad."
Seconds after his made that statement, he collapsed onto the floor, writhing in pain. Ron stared daggers at him.
"Serves you right, Malfoy! 'What goes round, comes round,' as the saying goes. C'mon, let's go, Hermione."
"Step aside, Ron," Hermione snapped at him. "Can't you see Draco's in pain?"
Ron was taken aback. What in the world was Hermione doing? Firstly, she showed no response to the fact that Harry was dead. Secondly, she just told him to step aside. What is up with that? Thirdly...she referred to Malfoy as 'Draco!'
"Something is seriously wrong with you, Mione," Ron said, staring as she helped Malfoy up and escorted him into the Emergency Room. The door swung shut, blowing wind in Ron's face. Ron scowled.
~*~
"Please," Hermione said, whipping out her 3-in-one Potion, "You have to listen to me! This is really the cure for SARS! Honest!"
The doctor's lip curled. "I don't think so, Missy. Nurse Helga, please show her the way out."
"Certainly," replied Nurse Helga, grabbing Hermione's arms. Hermione struggled and tried not to spill the 3-in-one Potion at the same time.
"Let go of me! Please, you have to believe me! Quick, give the patient this potion or he will die! And you wouldn't want that, would you?" Hermione asked the doctor.
"That's precisely why I don't want to give him that grisly potion."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I give up." She snapped her fingers. "Fluffy!"
The door swung open and Hagrid's three-headed dog thundered in, growling menacingly. All the medical staff fainted dead away, and Hermione seized the chance to pour the 3-in-one Potion down Draco's throat. Draco coughed violently. Then he stood up.
"I'm cured!" he exclaimed, his legs kicking out in some sort of a quickstep.
"HELL YEAH!!! I'm definitely going to pass my Potions with an 'O' this year!!!" Hermione exclaimed, punching the air.
Draco blinked.
"Um...I mean, how do you feel, now, Malfoy? Fine? A little queasy, perhaps?" Hermione had her clipboard out again.
"Oh, I'm feeling fine, I guess," Draco drawled. Hermione scribbled furiously.
Professors Snape, McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick suddenly burst into the room. "GRANGER!!! What in the world do you think you're DOING?!?!?!" Snape demanded. "Do you know that by doing this, you're putting Draco's life in danger?"
"Actually," Professor McGonagall said, "Malfoy seems fine to me. I mean, I don't think critically ill patients suffering from SARS can tap dance."
Draco, upon realizing that he was still doing a quickstep, quickly stopped himself, clearing his throat.
"Oh. WHAT?!?!?!" Snape jumped five feet into the air. "You mean...you mean...you mean...HUH?!?!?"
"Yes," Hermione said triumphantly. "Indeed, I, the Great Honourable One, have found a cure for SARS and made the potion single-handedly! BWAHAHAHHURHAHA!!!!!!!!"
Everyone stared at her.
"Okay, okay, not really single-handedly. I enlisted the help of Harry and Ron..."
"WHAT??? THOSE SQUEEBS???" Malfoy said in disgust. "What is in that potion you gave me anyway?"
-----
READ??? REVIEW!!!
ALAMAK!!! ADOI!!! 22 reviews! Thank yew very much indeed, I say, thank yew very much indeed. The following thank you's are for the reviewers of the first three chapters...
Feronia: Hey, thanks! I find it odd too! Actually this fic started out as an imaginary story my sister and I made up. So I had an idea and typed it all out on the computer.
Pookie Monster: Thank you for reviewing every chappie! HA. Severus Acute Respiratory Syndrome.
looneymoon: I'm glad you like this fic. Could you, by any chance, be a fan of Luna?
Irish Pixie: Yeah, nothing seems to go right for Draco. I'll try to improve things for him a little. Okay maybe not - he's about to find out he drank Harry's toenails.
poo Bah: Thanks for reviewing!
Emily14: You know, at first I didn't really want to keep writing. Then I changed my mind. I think it's because of writer's block.
777: Thank you very much!
madness: ahahahaha...Luna's laughter is contagious...
Athalia: Yes, I agree. It's strange. At least, the dream is. And Hagrid's poetry.
The Llama in My Head: Heh. Ode to Lame Jokes.
chickabiddy: Thanks..._
c.g.: Actually I did get the idea from somewhere else...my sister. Incredibly, we started making up this story when we were in a car.
Vanyaria Darkshadow: ThAnKs...yes, it's a very random fic.
HotDog-Jo: Hope it wouldn't still be confusing when I get to the later chapters...anyway, thanks!
SugarQuillGal: thank you! I leave cliffhangers at every chapter. Reminds me of a drama serial.
bah: Glad you found it funny, even if Krum didn't. Everyone, meet bah, the sistah who contributed to the wacko fic!!!
The Social Leper: thank yew very much!
Bellatrix Black: Thanks for being the first person to review ^_^!!! Er...now I don't think it's very action packed. Ok, maybe slightly. I remember I changed it to Humor/Suspense, but it still doesn't strike to me as a suspenseful fic either...-_-;;