Chapter 13
"Rise and shine, sleepy head," Woody said, gently shaking a still snoozing Jordan. "It's almost one o'clock."
Jordan sat straight up in bed, for a moment forgetting where she was. She obviously looked confused because Woody reached out and softly stroked her face. "Hey, don't be scared. You're here with me, getting some rest, remember?"
Vaguely Jordan did, the memory of her little lingerie show lingering in the corners of her mind. He seemed to have recovered, but she hadn't. The smell of his cologne had stayed in her room, causing her to dream about him all night. And she thought that was all it was – a mere dream until she felt him shake her awake.
"Ummmm, one o'clock, as in p.m.?" she asked.
"Yep."
"What day is it?"
"It's Saturday," Woody replied.
"Good, I feel like I've slept so hard that I've missed some days."
Woody smiled. That's exactly what he had wanted her to say, that she had rested well. "No, no days missed, just most of the morning."
"You should have woke me up sooner."
Woody let his eyes take in the sight of a still-sleepy Jordan in that silky night shirt. Her hair was a tangle, but at least the dark smudges under her eyes looked better. "Nah, it was too much fun watching you sleep."
Jordan felt her cheeks redden. "You watched me sleep? You perv."
Woody grinned. This was going better than he expected. "Not long, just the last few minutes. I thought we may grab some breakfast, or rather you can grab some breakfast and I'll grab some lunch, and take a walk."
Jordan considered her options. She normally didn't eat breakfast, but that was not the main problem. She was close to letting this man back into her life and her heart, and God, if the truth be known, her bed. And she couldn't. She just couldn't. She had carefully re-crafted herself when he walked out and was surviving. If he walked out again on her after the Task Force was completed, she didn't think she would recover this time.
Abruptly Jordan swung her legs over the bed and away from him. "I don't eat breakfast, she coldly announced. "I'm going to take a shower." And with that she walked into the bathroom, leaving Woody sitting on the side of the bed wondering what the hell had just happened.
It was an awkward afternoon. Woody did finally get Jordan to eat something and then urged her to get some more rest. He was determined, despite of anything that happened, that Jordan get some sleep this weekend. She finally caved in to his nagging and went back to bed around five. To his relief, she sank back into a deep sleep.
Raking his fingers through his hair, he thought about last night and this morning. For a while it seemed Jordan was coming around. But at the last minute, she cut him off and pushed him away. He almost laughed out loud. That part seemed like old times. Maybe she hadn't changed that much. "Here we are back on the chase again," thought Woody. "Me pursuing Jordan and her backing up and pushing me away." Then he remembered her eyes. Last night, when she was on the bed in that night shirt, that was the old Jordan. The warm, brown eyes laughing at him, teasing him. She had known exactly what she was doing. But this morning, the eyes were sad, almost lost looking. He saw the same eyes when he picked her up from the morgue. And when they were meeting with the Task Force, her eyes were soft and almost confused as he helped her with her things. He sighed. There was only one man that really understood what was going on, and that wasn't him. Softly he got up from his chair and tiptoed to Jordan's room. She was still sound asleep, having taken her jeans off and sleeping only in her shirt. He closed her door and picked up his cell phone, dialing a number he had by now committed to heart.
"Nigel, can you meet me for a drink?"
Thirty minutes later, Nigel and Woody were sitting at the bar of the hotel. "Where's Jordan?" Nigel had asked.
"She's up stairs asleep." Woody replied.
"Oh, resting up for the activities this evening?" Nigel said with a knowing look.
Woody paused for two beats. "No, there are no activities planned for this evening."
"What's the matter, luv? Lost that loving feeling?"
Woody raked his hand through his hair. "I haven't, Nige, I love her more than ever, but she keeps pushing me away. Why? You said she lived for the moment I'd come back to Boston. Well, here I am. What's wrong?"
"Did you happen to tell her you loved her before you left to go to North Carolina?"
"No."
"Did you love her then?"
Woody sighed. This felt like his conversation with Jake all over again.
"Yes, but I didn't tell her because, well because, I was scared she didn't love me back. I couldn't handle it."
"Okay, let's look at this thing from Jordan's perspective. She begins to trust you. She lets you in her bed. She wants you to stay and you leave. For three years, other than one very brief phone call, she hears nothing from you. Then you come back to Boston, all concerned about her, whisk her away to a motel, under the pretext of her getting some rest, and then are surprised when she gives you a cold one? The lady has no clue what's going on."
"But you told me to let her lead the next dance."
"And so she is. It's the tango."
Woody gave Nigel one of his "what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about" looks.
Nigel continued. "The tango is a form of dance where the boy chases the girl. Sometimes he catches her and sometimes he doesn't. But they have to match moves in order for the dance to be successful – and sensual.
"You see, mate, I really think Jordan wants you to catch her and she was truly tired of running when you left. That night at her apartment, she was wanted to tell you she was ready for the kind of relationship you wanted and that she loved you. You just never gave her a chance. Poof, you were gone. And being the type of person she is, she wouldn't try to twist your arm to get you to come back, so she didn't look for you. I did for a while, because I wasn't sure if I would need to get in touch with you if the pregnancy test came back positive."
Woody blanched. He hadn't thought of that. "Did it?"
"No, and she was kind of sorry it didn't. It would have given her a part of you to live with. So she continued on with her life. Part of her moved forward, and part of her didn't. She somewhere came to the conclusion that the reason you rejected her was ..."
"I didn't reject her," Woody began...
"Hold on, let me finish. She thought the reason you left was because you were disgusted with her, that she was a true bad seed, in every way," Nigel had emphasized "every," letting Woody catch his meaning. "So thus, the goal of perfection. That's where she moved forward, if you can call it an improvement. Personally, I miss the old Jordan.
"The part that didn't move forward was her heart. It's still back in that apartment, the same place it was three years ago, frozen in time. She's gone out with other men, but those dates never when anywhere. She told me that every time another man touched her, two things happened. First, she wondered when she would disgust them too, and second, she kept seeing your face, and not theirs. She didn't think it was fair to anyone else, so gradually she stopped seeing anyone and became the workaholic Jordan you saw yesterday. She's killing herself emotionally and physically, but it's the only way she knows how to deal with the problem.," Nigel concluded, taking a big drink of scotch.
Woody played with the cocktail napkin the waitress brought with their drinks. "How do you suggest I change things?"
"Well, first of all with this tango, you're going to have to match her moves. If she pushes you away, you have to push forward. If she tells you to leave, you have to stay. If she runs, you have to chase her. Get my drift?"
Woody nodded.
"And second, you're going to have to show her that you love her and she doesn't disgust you in anyway. You've got to make her see that the reason you left was because she was breaking your heart and you couldn't take it anymore, not that she wasn't perfect."
Woody nodded again as Nigel got up to leave. "Thanks, man," he told Nigel as he shook the man's hand.
"Don't thank me yet. And good luck. The second part may be the hardest thing to do."
"Rise and shine, sleepy head," Woody said, gently shaking a still snoozing Jordan. "It's almost one o'clock."
Jordan sat straight up in bed, for a moment forgetting where she was. She obviously looked confused because Woody reached out and softly stroked her face. "Hey, don't be scared. You're here with me, getting some rest, remember?"
Vaguely Jordan did, the memory of her little lingerie show lingering in the corners of her mind. He seemed to have recovered, but she hadn't. The smell of his cologne had stayed in her room, causing her to dream about him all night. And she thought that was all it was – a mere dream until she felt him shake her awake.
"Ummmm, one o'clock, as in p.m.?" she asked.
"Yep."
"What day is it?"
"It's Saturday," Woody replied.
"Good, I feel like I've slept so hard that I've missed some days."
Woody smiled. That's exactly what he had wanted her to say, that she had rested well. "No, no days missed, just most of the morning."
"You should have woke me up sooner."
Woody let his eyes take in the sight of a still-sleepy Jordan in that silky night shirt. Her hair was a tangle, but at least the dark smudges under her eyes looked better. "Nah, it was too much fun watching you sleep."
Jordan felt her cheeks redden. "You watched me sleep? You perv."
Woody grinned. This was going better than he expected. "Not long, just the last few minutes. I thought we may grab some breakfast, or rather you can grab some breakfast and I'll grab some lunch, and take a walk."
Jordan considered her options. She normally didn't eat breakfast, but that was not the main problem. She was close to letting this man back into her life and her heart, and God, if the truth be known, her bed. And she couldn't. She just couldn't. She had carefully re-crafted herself when he walked out and was surviving. If he walked out again on her after the Task Force was completed, she didn't think she would recover this time.
Abruptly Jordan swung her legs over the bed and away from him. "I don't eat breakfast, she coldly announced. "I'm going to take a shower." And with that she walked into the bathroom, leaving Woody sitting on the side of the bed wondering what the hell had just happened.
It was an awkward afternoon. Woody did finally get Jordan to eat something and then urged her to get some more rest. He was determined, despite of anything that happened, that Jordan get some sleep this weekend. She finally caved in to his nagging and went back to bed around five. To his relief, she sank back into a deep sleep.
Raking his fingers through his hair, he thought about last night and this morning. For a while it seemed Jordan was coming around. But at the last minute, she cut him off and pushed him away. He almost laughed out loud. That part seemed like old times. Maybe she hadn't changed that much. "Here we are back on the chase again," thought Woody. "Me pursuing Jordan and her backing up and pushing me away." Then he remembered her eyes. Last night, when she was on the bed in that night shirt, that was the old Jordan. The warm, brown eyes laughing at him, teasing him. She had known exactly what she was doing. But this morning, the eyes were sad, almost lost looking. He saw the same eyes when he picked her up from the morgue. And when they were meeting with the Task Force, her eyes were soft and almost confused as he helped her with her things. He sighed. There was only one man that really understood what was going on, and that wasn't him. Softly he got up from his chair and tiptoed to Jordan's room. She was still sound asleep, having taken her jeans off and sleeping only in her shirt. He closed her door and picked up his cell phone, dialing a number he had by now committed to heart.
"Nigel, can you meet me for a drink?"
Thirty minutes later, Nigel and Woody were sitting at the bar of the hotel. "Where's Jordan?" Nigel had asked.
"She's up stairs asleep." Woody replied.
"Oh, resting up for the activities this evening?" Nigel said with a knowing look.
Woody paused for two beats. "No, there are no activities planned for this evening."
"What's the matter, luv? Lost that loving feeling?"
Woody raked his hand through his hair. "I haven't, Nige, I love her more than ever, but she keeps pushing me away. Why? You said she lived for the moment I'd come back to Boston. Well, here I am. What's wrong?"
"Did you happen to tell her you loved her before you left to go to North Carolina?"
"No."
"Did you love her then?"
Woody sighed. This felt like his conversation with Jake all over again.
"Yes, but I didn't tell her because, well because, I was scared she didn't love me back. I couldn't handle it."
"Okay, let's look at this thing from Jordan's perspective. She begins to trust you. She lets you in her bed. She wants you to stay and you leave. For three years, other than one very brief phone call, she hears nothing from you. Then you come back to Boston, all concerned about her, whisk her away to a motel, under the pretext of her getting some rest, and then are surprised when she gives you a cold one? The lady has no clue what's going on."
"But you told me to let her lead the next dance."
"And so she is. It's the tango."
Woody gave Nigel one of his "what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about" looks.
Nigel continued. "The tango is a form of dance where the boy chases the girl. Sometimes he catches her and sometimes he doesn't. But they have to match moves in order for the dance to be successful – and sensual.
"You see, mate, I really think Jordan wants you to catch her and she was truly tired of running when you left. That night at her apartment, she was wanted to tell you she was ready for the kind of relationship you wanted and that she loved you. You just never gave her a chance. Poof, you were gone. And being the type of person she is, she wouldn't try to twist your arm to get you to come back, so she didn't look for you. I did for a while, because I wasn't sure if I would need to get in touch with you if the pregnancy test came back positive."
Woody blanched. He hadn't thought of that. "Did it?"
"No, and she was kind of sorry it didn't. It would have given her a part of you to live with. So she continued on with her life. Part of her moved forward, and part of her didn't. She somewhere came to the conclusion that the reason you rejected her was ..."
"I didn't reject her," Woody began...
"Hold on, let me finish. She thought the reason you left was because you were disgusted with her, that she was a true bad seed, in every way," Nigel had emphasized "every," letting Woody catch his meaning. "So thus, the goal of perfection. That's where she moved forward, if you can call it an improvement. Personally, I miss the old Jordan.
"The part that didn't move forward was her heart. It's still back in that apartment, the same place it was three years ago, frozen in time. She's gone out with other men, but those dates never when anywhere. She told me that every time another man touched her, two things happened. First, she wondered when she would disgust them too, and second, she kept seeing your face, and not theirs. She didn't think it was fair to anyone else, so gradually she stopped seeing anyone and became the workaholic Jordan you saw yesterday. She's killing herself emotionally and physically, but it's the only way she knows how to deal with the problem.," Nigel concluded, taking a big drink of scotch.
Woody played with the cocktail napkin the waitress brought with their drinks. "How do you suggest I change things?"
"Well, first of all with this tango, you're going to have to match her moves. If she pushes you away, you have to push forward. If she tells you to leave, you have to stay. If she runs, you have to chase her. Get my drift?"
Woody nodded.
"And second, you're going to have to show her that you love her and she doesn't disgust you in anyway. You've got to make her see that the reason you left was because she was breaking your heart and you couldn't take it anymore, not that she wasn't perfect."
Woody nodded again as Nigel got up to leave. "Thanks, man," he told Nigel as he shook the man's hand.
"Don't thank me yet. And good luck. The second part may be the hardest thing to do."