Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. All are property of J.K. Rowling. I just borrow them for my own purposes.
WARNINGS: Sirius/Remus SLASH. If you're opposed to romance between two men, don't read it.
Summary: In which Sirius and Remus get tipsy, we learn about the mating habits of werewolves, and the pups shamelessly steal lines from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Uber-Thanks: To WardenMistress, my beta-reader. We trade stories back and forth.
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-Alcohol and Moonlight-
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The raven-haired boy grinned mischievously and extended a hand to help his friend out of the trapdoor. Of course I know that. Why else d'you think I'd be doing this?
Remus Lupin straightened up, brushing dust and dirt off his cloak, looking up into the midnight-blue eyes of Sirius Black. Only you would think of this... he sighed, but he was smiling.
Come on, Sirius said. He and Remus set out. The secret passage they had emerged from led out into a hollow tree in the woods around Hogsmeade, and a short path led the way into the village. The secret passage itself led back to Hogwarts, naturally - it was located behind a large mirror on the fourth floor.
The two boys made their way into the village, which was quiet at this time of night; only a few other people wandered the streets. Remus glanced at Sirius. He had no idea why Sirius had brought him here, but he was happy about it. James had been stuck at school in detention (which Sirius had somehow managed to avoid), while Peter had opted to stay behind and work on his Potions essay. He wasn't happy about it; but he really needed to scrape a good grade this time.
Remus, however, had been more than happy to set aside his homework for a night and go with Sirius, though he had put up a good show of being irritated at the interruption in order to protect his reputation. Remus was in love with Sirius; he was pretty sure he had been in love with the other boy since they first met, on their first train ride to Hogwarts. The crush he had harboured for so long had only been intensified by the incident with Snape and the Willow, rather than squashed - strangely, seeing as Sirius had used Remus' hated lycanthropy to get back at Snape. However, Remus was largely ashamed of his feelings. Surely Sirius would be revolted if Remus ever breathed a word; so he had vowed to keep silent.
He was rudely interrupted from his musings as a loud creaking sound reached his ears. Sirius was pushing open the door of a pub. Remus looked up quickly to catch a glimpse of the old wooden sign hanging above the door - a severed hog's head, dripping blood on the cloth upon which it sat.
Remus hissed, catching hold of his friend's arm. We can't go in there! We're underage!
Sirius winked at him. Trust me, Remmie. It's okay.
But -
Just trust me, okay? Sirius grinned.
But - It was useless to protest. Sirius had already gone up to the bar, and rapped the grimy wood of the bar with his knuckles. The barman, who was very tall and thin with a large quantity of long, dirty grey hair and beard, came out of a back room. Whatch'a want?
Two bottles of your best rum, please, my good man, Sirius said cheerfully. Remus turned red.
Siri -!
The barman didn't even bat an eyelash. Two Galleons, he grunted, pulling out two rather large bottles of a dark, murky liquid and thumping them down on the bar. Both bottles bore yellowed labels on which curly, old-fashioned writing proclaimed : Peasegood's Olde-Style Rum.
Sirius said, grinning, handing over the gold. He took both bottles and beckoned quietly to Remus, who followed him quickly, relieved at leaving the dingy, dark pub. He jogged after Sirius, who wasn't heading back the way they had come - instead, he was heading for the Shrieking Shack, swinging the rum bottles by their necks, humming a David Bowie song merrily under his breath.
Sirius - Black - Remus panted, as he struggled up the hill behind his friend. I - refuse - to - go - any- further - until - you - tell - me - where - we're - going -
Sirius paid him no heed, instead leading him around to the Shack's western side. From that side, they received a dazzling view of Hogsmeade and its surroundings, with a glimpse of the towers of Hogwarts in the distance. Remus stopped and stared, amazed by the scene before him. The sky was slowly turning dark purple, with a faint glimmer of orange just visible on the horizon. The moon, a thin silver crescent, hung almost directly overhead.
Sirius flopped down on the ground, uncorking one of the bottles of rum. He held the other out to Remus. Come on. Live a little, Moony.
Remus sat down beside Sirius and gingerly accepted the bottle of liquor. He didn't open it right away, just watched warily as Sirius tilted his head back, taking a swig from his bottle. This isn't legal, and you know it.
Ahhh, so what, Sirius chuckled. Come on, drink up.
Hesitantly, Remus eased the cork out of the bottle, and raised it to his lips. He took the smallest sip possible, and wrinkled his nose. The liquor had a sharp, bitter taste, and stung his throat. Ugh. This is disgusting.
With a laugh, Sirius took another pull on his bottle. Acquired taste, love. You get used to it.
You don't exactly look like a rum virgin, Remus said dryly. I suppose you speak from experience?
You know it. Sirius shook his long hair out of his eyes. Rum virgin. I like that. Good one. He took another swig of rum. Remus noticed the bottle was almost a quarter empty, and Sirius' eyes had taken on a strange gleam. He looked up at the sky. The moon shone coldly down at him, and Remus shivered, unpleasant thoughts of the full moon crossing his mind. He looked down at the bottle of rum, and was seized by a sudden feeling of recklessness. He took a long pull from the bottle, savoring the taste. Anything to forget, just for tonight, even if it meant getting drunk.
Sirius leaned against Remus, cackling. Rebel rebel... torn your dress... rebel rebel, your hair... is a mess... he sang. He sipped at his rum. Good stuff, this.
Remus flushed as Sirius settled comfortably against him, burrowing his head against the young werewolf's neck. It was almost too much to bear, having Sirius this close and being unable to say anything about his feelings for his friend. He quickly took another drink of rum. He blinked. To his surprise, the level of liquor in his bottle was lowering rapidly. It didn't bother him too much; already he was on his way to getting drunk - this was the first alcohol he'd ever tasted.
They passed the next ten minutes in silence, drinking. Remus was feeling delightfully dizzy, sitting there with Sirius' head on his shoulder, listening to Sirius sing Rebel Rebel'.
Sirius was perfectly comfortable. He was also beginning to get dizzy, but he didn't mind. It just gave him an excuse to lean against Remus, not to mention the courage. He never touched Remus when the two of them were alone; he was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself, and would do something that he would regret, or worse, scare Remus. It was a different story when they were with their friends, because when James and Peter were around, it was easy to hug Remus, or shower him with the same casual, brotherly affection he shared with the other two. Sirius couldn't bear the thought of what Remus would say or do if he dared tell him how he felt. He had kept silent for the better part of three years, and it wasn't easy... but Sirius would have rather died than lose his friendship with Remus that way.
Soon the rum bottles were half empty; Sirius sat up abruptly. He was beginning to feel pleasantly smashed. He threw his arm around Remus' shoulders. Nice night, eh, Moony? Bloody gorgeous.
Remus slurred; he was past caring whether or not he was old enough to drink. He giggled and took another sip.
Sirius grinned at him. So are you, you know that? His hand stroked Remus' shoulder. He hiccuped.
Remus sat up and shook his bangs out of his eyes, swaying slightly. He looked rather hard at Sirius. Mr. Black, he said sternly, I'm not entirely sure that I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk!
Sirius found this deliciously funny, and fell over giggling, pulling Remus with him. Remus yelped as he was pulled down on top of his friend, and blushed furiously. Sirius just smiled up at him. He looked entrancing in the moonlight, his long hair spread across the grass and highlighted silver by the pale crescent moon. Remus swallowed hard, the haze of drunkenness suddenly evaporating.
Sirius reached up to stroke Remus' hair. Do you know... do you know you're just about the most beautiful creature on this planet?
Remus bit his lip.
I think I love you, Sirius continued. He didn't seem as drunk as he had been moments ago. Actually... I know I love you. Do you... do you love me?
The werewolf ducked his head. Of course I do. You're like a brother to me. Just like James and Peter.
A long sigh from the Animagus. Not like that, he said. I love you. As in hugs and kisses and Valentines and... well, you know.
Remus sat up. Sirius... I... I couldn't let you throw your life away like that.
Sirius struggled to sit up as well. What are you talking about?
Being mated to a werewolf isn't easy, Remus said bitterly. You don't get it, do you? Sure, it's fun to think of holding hands and kissing... and after all that, you could still dump me if it wasn't what you wanted. But if we went further... he looked at his fingers, embarrassed, but continued. If we... made love, we'd be mated for life. And after that... you can't go back on your decision. I'd be completely devoted to you, no matter how you felt about me, for the rest of our lives. I'd never be able to love anyone else, or even so much as kiss someone. And you... you could do whatever you wanted... but every time you cheated on me.... whenever we would be apart for a long time... I'd... I'd be suffering.
He looked at Sirius, who was watching him and listening seriously, then looked back at the ground. When werewolves are apart from their mates... or if their mate isn't serious... the werewolf is the one who suffers. It's a lifetime commitment, Siri. It's not a decision to take lightly... I couldn't... I couldn't let you do that to yourself, just for me. He sniffled and took a sip from his rum bottle.
How d'you know if I don't love you enough to take that all on? Sirius murmured.
Remus turned to Sirius, who brushed his hair out of his eyes and smiled at him.
Sirius leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't exactly the world's best kiss; it was sloppy and tasted like rum, but it was Remus' first. He was surprised, but didn't bother to fight back - Sirius was drunk, and most likely this was the only kiss Remus would ever get from him, so he might as well enjoy it.
After a while they had to stop for air; Sirius smiled at him and pulled him back to the ground. They lay still for a long time, silent; Remus corked his rum bottle and put it aside. He snuggled close to Sirius and closed his eyes, and was asleep in minutes.
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The next morning, Remus awoke to find himself lying in the grass, in Sirius' arms, with a headache. He sat up and rubbed his forehead, spotting the two bottles of rum lying in the grass. He staggered to his feet and scooped them up. He had been utterly, stinking drunk last night, but he vividly remembered what had happened... filling Sirius in on the mating habits of werewolves... kissing him. His cheeks burned as he stumbled away from the Shack. He had practically humiliated himself, all because of a stupid idea of Sirius' and half a bottle of rum. The only good thing was that Sirius probably wouldn't remember what had happened.
He reached the edge of the forest surrounding the Shack and tossed both bottles of rum as far as he could into the trees. There was the faint sound of shattering glass. He turned and stumbled back up the hill, squinting at his watch. It was almost six; he'd have to wake Sirius up and get him back to school in time for showers and breakfast before lessons.
Sirius sat up as Remus approached. He yawned, one hand patting the grass beside him, searching for his drink. G'morning, Remmie. Where's my drink?
I got rid of it, Remus huffed.
Sirius blinked rapidly as this information filtered through. The rum's gone?
Yes, the rum is gone!
Sirius pushed his hair out of his eyes. Why is the rum gone?!
Remus clenched his teeth, unwilling to dwell on the previous night. Because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into scoundrels - and you, as well. He couldn't hide his anger. How could I possibly believe you when you say you love me, if you're completely drunk?
Sirius stared at him. But why is the rum gone? he finally asked.
Remus turned away and started striding back down the path to Hogsmeade. He tried to ignore the tears stinging his eyelids. He should have known better....
Remmie, wait! Sirius hurried to catch up. Memories of last night crossing his mind, he caught his friend by the sleeve. Wait! Are you... are you upset... about last night?
Why should I be upset? Remus asked icily. You were drunk, and didn't know what you were saying. Neither did I. Let's just pretend it never happened.
But Sirius wouldn't let him go. No. Remmie, I don't want to pretend it never happened. he swallowed hard. I... I really do love you. Enough to take on everything you told me about - yes, even if I can't have sex with anyone else but you... which just seems like a benefit to me.
Remus could barely believe his ears. Was Sirius really saying what he thought he was? Siri... you can't...
What can't I do? Fall in love? I beg to differ. Sirius smiled a little. I love you, you daft sod. Whether I'm drunk or sober, savvy? I'd be honoured to be your mate.
He pulled Remus into his arms. Remus sniffled, burying his face in Sirius' robes. Sirius stroked his hair. I brought you up here last night just so I could be alone with you, he murmured. If Jim or Pete had been able to come along... I never would've suggested it. I wanted to talk to you up here... guess I got a little too drunk.
It's okay, Remus said softly. He looked up at Sirius. I... I love you.
Love you too, Sirius said warmly. And I promise... I'll take everything as slow as you want. I won't push, okay?
Suddenly Remus' headache was gone.
Would you mind if... if I kissed you?
Not at all, Sirius said with a smile. This time the kiss wasn't sloppy, but still tasted like rum. Stale rum.
Guess we better head back to the castle and brush our teeth, Sirius commented when they broke the kiss. Remus giggled. Sirius took him by the hand, and they started back to Hogsmeade.
Can I ask a question?
Anything, love.
Why is the rum gone?
-The End-
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(A/N: All the lines stolen from Pirates of the Caribbean' are from my favourite scene, when Jack and Elizabeth are marooned on an island and getting drunk. I also love the part where Elizabeth asks the Commodore to save Will as a wedding gift to her, and Jack says, A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around! It's one of my all-time favourite movies. Obviously, I do not own it or its lines, though I'd certainly love to own Captain Jack.)