Severity of Silence
Chapter 9: Meaning of my Life
A recap of the events leading to living in Gondor
Ever since I was young I was told I was special, I was put here on the world to do a great many things. At the age I never quite understood what the elders meant, dismissing their words as senile ravings. Growing up in the mighty Kingdom of Mirkwood I had much to worry about and often had to fend of spiders just to go outside the kingdom walls to explore so my mind and battle skills were more honed that those of an average elfling. Although I was too young to join my father and his men on their raids, or orc hunts I was taught to handle a bow, and fight with knives while learning from my mother the ancient dialects as well as Dwarvish and Common. I lived happily that way for many years, leaning from my elders the history of my people and the code they defended. Then in the year of my one thousand's birthday (Not sure of the ages in elvish and human standards) my world was brought down with a crash.
Warning…. Very nasty torture.. bloody death.
One rainy night I was ridding home with my mother from Lorthlorien and we were about to cross the threshold of the gate when an attack came down upon us. My mother, being close the end of her pregnancy was easily over taken and brutally beaten. I tried the best I could to defend her, slashing flesh with my long knives, but being smaller and not as quick as an adult I was thrown back and held down by a large man. I watched as my mother fought with the man, her small dagger that flashed dangerously at the men that tried to grab her. Yet the body can only take so much shock and pain soon over took her, making her drop the knife and grab her swollen stomach. She began whispering prayers and curses at them, a lighting bolt lit up the sky in an eerie purple hue, making my mother's angry face glow even more. One of the men holding me laughed as I struggled to get to her as one man brought the dagger down into her stomach. My mother's scream of pain etched it was through my soul, making me shudder at the sound but I couldn't tear my eyes away, horror keeping me locked on the scene. The man brought the dagger down through her stomach, spilling blood and other bodily fluids from the opening. She lay on the ground, breathing hard as blood flowed from her wound, eyes beginning to cloud over. She reached out her shaking hand to where I was being held, whispering something that I couldn't really hear.
"Let him comfort his queen before her death." The man that killed her says and the hands holding me released my arms. Not bother even looking back I scrambled to my mother's bloody hand and took it, also whispering promises.
" Nana… don't worry. You'll be up and walking with me through the gardens again, baby brother will be fine and Adar will be laughing like he always does." I tell the dying woman but her hand seems to tighten for a moment before going limp, eyes staring ahead. I shook my head and brought the limp hand to my face, kissing the rapidly cooling pale skin. Her green eyes stared right ahead, almost like in sleep, but I know this isn't any normal sleep. This one is immortal, never to be awoken from again.
" Get him up, we're going to use him for bait for the mighty Elven King." One says and I am hauled to my feet, without struggle, my eyes never leaving the form of my mother.
" No need. I am already hear." I turn quickly to find my father and three warriors standing with their bows out and ready. Father's eyes seemed not to even look at mother's body but only focused on the men that committed the crime.
" Release him." He growls and I feel the anger and sadness radiating from the larger elf as the men turn without terror or fear, weapons raised.
" Lord Thranduil… seems we have taken away your will to fight, now that we killed your wife and only heir to the thrown after your death." The one who killed my mother says, and my father's pale gray eyes seem to flare with annoyance.
" RELEASE!" he spits in Elvish and the three archers soon have their silver tipped arrows implanted in the human's chests, the men already dead before hitting the ground. Father walks over to the one who was holding me, same one that killed mother as he coughs, clutching me to his chest. To fearful to even move I watch in horror as Father kneels and looks the other right in the eye, face stern and voice as cold as ice.
" You may have taken my wife, and my son… but you will never destroy this line. We are pure.. Untainted… unlike you filth. May your soul be doomed to wonder forever." He says and takes me from the man's hands, holding me close to his body.
"Your wrong…" His breath hitches " We have tainted one innocent this night…" breathing a bit harder to draw " your last hope of an heir has been tainted… no longer can you keep him hidden from the hat—hatred…. O-of men. N-no long…er." He gasps and his head rolls to the side, eyes staring wide like mothers. I stare as my father walks back to his horse, and mounts, me still in his strong arms. I keep my face buried in his shoulder, refusing to show him the sadness and despair I know is plain on my face. He commands the charger to move home and the great stallion moves cautiously but swiftly until we are within the protective walls of Mirkwood. Yet there is something wrong, no maiden is singing their cheerful songs as they wonder the halls, no bows are being released with practice, not even a horse whinnies. Everyone seems to have been effecting, a bit indirectly, but still effected by my mother's death. Closing my eyes I allow myself to be brought into my own chamber and laid on the bed, without a word from either father or myself. This is how life went between us for the next few years, nothing was ever said… nothing was ever exchanged. Just a simple silence and ignorant thoughts about the other.
End warning.
The last year I stayed in the palace was one of terror, so many were being attacked and every night you could hear the many men attacking our gates and walls, finding a way in. I got use to falling asleep to the sounds of arguing men and orders from the guardsmen. This became my life, hiding in the shadows of the place I once called home, eating only rationed food enough to sustain you. My own Cousin who had come to stay with us helped out where she could without being scene by father, mostly with the wounded warriors. The night came where the humans finally broke through our walls and invaded my home. My dear cousin came into my room and picked me up, and began racing down into the underground transport where a few wagon horses were held. She told me to ride fast to Rivendell and not stop. I did what she told me to do, and that horse took me all the way to the last homely house, into the Lord Elrond's care.
That was the only time I can remember before my mother's death that I was happy. Living with the many Nolder elves in the great Kingdom I learned that you don't have to fight for everything, there are other ways to go about settling a disagreement. Not really knowing what was happening on the outside world I lived in one where I could just be a child, learning things in my own time and not being forced to act like an adult. A few years passed as I lived in Rivendell, enjoying the company of both Elrond and Glorfindel as they taught me much about herbs and fighting techniques. I didn't think I would really be needing those many talents until the day the last wall I placed around the world outside shattered and I was thrown into battle with humans. By now I was around the age of a young teenage human, my body able to handle the stress of battle. We were able to hold out for a few weeks but soon our warriors were slowly being picked off and we were soon cornered in the council hall. Those men toyed with us, making it seem like we had some hope of escaping, where we really didn't. When they got tired of playing they attacked, finished each of us off within a few moments of fighting. They took Elrond, Glorfindel and I away from the burning and ruined Rivendell and threw us in cages, ones that you would put a harmful beast in to protect others, before taking us to a camp where we would remain until our liberation.
The camp was a nightmare in life, filled with elves, the first born, reduced to mere slaves. I watched as the noblest elves were slain where they kneeled in the dirt, covered in their own wastes as they prayed to the Valar to protect them. Most didn't survive the first few nights in the men's tents, others lasted longer when allowed to work around the camp, tending fires and washing clothes. Very few women were in the camp I noticed, probably because they were forced upon and taken the first few nights and soon died later of a broken heart and shattered soul. It was painful to watch such fair and light beings are reduced to mere filth on the bottom of a man's boot. Each of us was tortured in some way, Glorfindel had his long, blonde hair cut off, leaving him bald and disfigured with scars on his head. Elrond was bound leg and hands for hours of the day, his body deteriorating from lack of movement. I was stolen of my voice, forced a mute.
Yet there was some spirit left among the elves in the camp, sometimes a revolt would be made and once we all came very close to escaping but no one knew about the Arkots hidden in the forests. I got away, while Elrond and Glorfindel fought off attackers and helped others they ordered me to get to the other side of the river, for that was the line between realms and I would be granted amnesty there. I didn't make it to the river, I was soon overpowered by one of the many Arkots that were watching in the woods, one golden-eyed, white haired demon called Kerrick, who after that I often saw in the camp, speaking harshly with the humans. It seemed to me that the humans held no fear over the soul-less and seemed to overpower him, a fierce shadow like Kerrick. So I remained in the camp, often being annoyed and tortured by the humans when they had nothing better to do, and put to work tending fires and cooking. I did this until our liberation four weeks later, one day I and Elrond and Glorfindel will never forget.
I remember waking that day in my cage to someone banging on the bars. I found a small boy, about six standing there holding a metal pot and some water in a water skin. The youth often stayed near me as I cooked meals, watching me but never saying anything. He stands there now, holding the pot and looking hopeful. I shrug and point to the lock, only to have my hand smacked by one of the humans who were awake and noticed this. He began yelling at me, throwing me into the sides of the cage when a sword went through his chest, coming to rest a mere millimeter from my eye. I stared wide-eyed at the man upon the horse, pulling the long weapon from the man and then raising his sword in the air. Soon, a dozen men all on horseback came charging into the clearing, screaming and yelling, killing anyone in their way. The man that killed the human abuser was now searching the cages, calling out a name. He was calling Elrond's name. Finally the Lord of Rivendell said 'Ai' and the man went over, freeing the elf from his confinement. The killing stopped and many of the warriors were now freeing and tending to the wounded elves, which was all of us. I was released from my cage and went to Elrond, wishing to be close to the elder that was so reassuring before.
The man and savior I learned later were none other than Lord Arathorn, King of Gondor. He had heard of the camp so close to his boarders and since he had an alliance with the elves felt he needed to free them, so he found the camp and waited several days, before attacking. They had hell trying to get through the many Arkots warriors, but found a way to keep them at bay, they don't like light. He then offered us a place to stay in the castle at Gondor until it was safe for us to return home. Elrond told the man we had no home left to go to, and the offer was extended forever. Glorfindel found our horses, many captured during the siege at Rivendell and we mounted up, heading to the Kingdom. Elrond and Arathron conversed a lot, speaking of patterns they have seen in the attacks and things, while I sat astride my horse and speaking to no one. I couldn't if I wanted to, but I was so fearful of the men around me I dared not even make eye contact.
I lived in the walls of Gondor, readjusting to the many people that I had to see everyday I soon lost that fear of men, and began to enjoy what I could learn from the race. Helping out in the barn one day turned into a many year thing, giving me a job to do to keep myself busy. The rest you basically know, since after getting the job at the barn I had those fights with Boromir and Aragorn and I became good friends, now our friendship is on the rocks. I don't know who will make the first step toward healing that link we shared for so long. I am slightly scared of the outcome since it was I that thought I had no one to live for… but in reality I have everyone to fight for. And hatred to fight against.
Please… I can not fight this on my own Aragorn, be my link to the world that I have forgotten lives around me. Be my friend and fight beside me. Please… I need a friend.
Sorry for my stupidity
Legolas
Finishing the long letter to Aragorn I lean back in the bed and extend my hand to Elladan who nods and takes the letter to Aragorn, who hasn't been back since our argument. My body begs for sleep and I give into it, allowing my tired mind to rest until the morning when I hope I shall be able to speak with my friend.
Immortal Sadness: The last chapter was revised because of one of my comments in the author note. To an Offended: Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I am usually fairly good about catching my wording before posting but that one slipped by me and I am very sorry if I truly did offend you or anyone else.
This was kind of an explanation chapter. Please review! REVIEW! Please? ::puppy eyes:: please?