Anouncer: WELCOME TO JIRA STEWART'S COOKING SHOW!
::Jira Stewart,a Jirachi, walks on stage behind an island in the kitchen::
::crickets::
Bulbasaur: You should be in jail then, or on trial...
Jira Stewart: Just because five people have died after eating my food doesn't mean its poisonous!
::crickets stop chirping::
Jira:Now, for my latest way to make butter!
::Jira takes some animal fat,pours it in a butter mold,puts it in the microwave for 100 seconds,and takes it out.The "butter" is now a greenish-yellow,and very smelly.::
::A Houndour walks by::
Jira:Tasty radioactive butter!Watch.::throws some of the buttered toast in the Houndour's mouth,He grows an extra ear on his butt.::
Bulbasaur:::hides in Togepi's shell::
Togepi:Too close!Get away!Get away!
Jira:It's so good,he wants to hear himself excreting it out!I AM a good chef!
Crowd:::boos and laughs::
Houndour:::looks sad::Aghh....
Jira:Oh,don't be sad Houndour.::puts some cookies in the microwave and takes them out,actually looking good::Here.
Houndour:::tries one::Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.What are these made of?
Jira:They are made out of cookie dough,chocolate,and the never-fail ingredient of Miltank feces!
Bulbasaur:::from inside shell::ACK!What is this idiot thinking?I thought I told her not to use inedible objects,no matter how addicting!
Houndour:::spits most out of his mouth,and poos the rest out::Ah great,I heard myself poo.
::About 10 other Pokemon dive into Togepi's shell.::
Togepi:Well,I can forget privacy now.
Crowd:EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Jira: I'm glad you liked it!Anyway, let me show you my newest recipe- spicy broiled chicken!
::Jira takes out a burnt chicken and throws chili peppers on it.A few birds fall to the ground from the smell.::
Jira:My special chicken is very spicy,yet very juicy.Just add chili peppers onto it!To keep from falling off,we add some freshly-chewed gum!
::She takes some gum from her mouth and spreads it on the chili peppers.The birds who fell die from the smell and the shock.::
Bulbasaur:::faints::
Jira:::puts it in the microwave,and the chicken comes out light purple.::Mm-mm!How yummy!
Random Pocket Monster:WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRY IT!?
Jira:::takes a bite::YUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM!::drags Bulbasaur out of Togepi::Isn't that right,Bulbasaur?
Bulbasaur:NO!
10 or so Pokemon:Good luck....
Jira:::stuffs it down Bulbasaur's throat::
Bulbasaur:::pukes it up after fainting::
Jira:He likes it so much,he upchucked some of it to eat on a rainy day!
Crowd:::everyone faints::AAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Jira:Now for my best.....HOMEMADE WINE AND CHICKEN SOUP!
::Jira throws some old grapes,grape juice,and some sewer water in a botte.::
Jira:Now,to make it richer!::puts the bottle in the microwave for 10 seconds,then sets it on the table::And here comes the soup!
::Jira throws a live chicken and some water into a bowl,then microwaves it.The chicken has grown an extra eye on it's head and a foot on it's wing.Jira then places the bowl on the table.::
Jira:What a great meal!I cannot wait!
Chicken:Bolk bok!
Togepi:::faints::
10 or so Pokemon:::crawl out of Togepi,but faint::
::Jira sips some wine,drinks the "broth," and swallows the chicken whole.::
Bulbasaur:AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!SICK!
::At MewtwechTV HQ,PsyKing is using PK HACK to look at Jira's computer.He opens up a few files.::
PsyKing:Hmm...recipes for her food....everyone likes them,but those who see the studio-only show never eat the stuff again.Hmm....Hmm.......WHAT!?MILTANK POO!?RADIOACTIVE WASTE!?Ugh....that's just wrong.I won't check the rest for fear of insanity.
::He flies to JiraStewdios.PsyKing goes through the roof,and lands next to Jira.::
PsyKing:::grabs Jira's arm::I'm going to sue you for usage of nasty things in your "food."And insider stock trading!Unless you stop.
Jira:But the consumers love my microwavable gourmet food-how did you know about my stock portfolio!?
PsyKing:Message boards.You were drunk on your microwaved wine.Stop all of this or get sued for 1 million.And that isn't gourmet food.It's trash.Your recipes on your computer prove it.
Jira:Not so!They love it,and nobody has died!
10 or so Pokemon and Bulbasaur:FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!
PsyKing:::Blows up Jira,throwing her remains in the microwave.Her remains are now a strange shade of grey.::A fitting end for a demented cook.All made possible by hacking software.
Crowd:::cheers::
PsyKing:This studio will now be a studio for MewtwechTV,the Mewtwo division of TechTV!Thank you all for hating Jira enough so you could tolerate my killing her!Thank you and good night! THE END.....for now.
Moral:Never let a crazy Jirachi make her own line of food.You will faint once you find out what is in them.
Moral 2:Mewtwo Hackers and Jirachi Cooks never get along.
Moral 3:As a rule.don't put more than 3 morals.
Moral 4:But feel free to break that rule.