Disclaimer: I don't Angel. It belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Enjoy.
A Mother's Love
By David Knight
Chapter 3: Conversations in the Moonlight
Alone.
That was what he was in this world right now. Completely and utterly alone.
So why do I even bother to stay here? Wesley Wyndam-Pryce asked himself once more. As he poured himself a glass of wine, he knew just how rotten his entire life was. How even with the best of intentions, it had all be a great big cosmic joke in his face.
Throat slashed, nearly died from that, then nearly murdered by his former friend and employer. Yet Angel has just cause... but me, who else is there to blame save for myself. Or what to do now for that matter.
"You have mail."
Hearing the new mail tone come from his labtop, Wesley went over to it and saw he had a new letter in his inbox. He opened it and it read '782 West Palm Terrace. 8:30pm. Come alone.'
... why not? he asked himself after some thought. What else do I have to do? Grabbing his coat, he left his apartment and walked out.
He had no idea that he was being watched.
-----
"He is leaving." Illyria said to Lorne as she watched Wesley exit his apartment.
"Well then should we wait or what?" Lorne asked.
"We follow. I have no idea where Wesley and the harlot had intercourse, but I shall prevent it." Illyria said firmly.
"Well that's definitely something I don't want to see," Lorne shivered theatrically. "Wonder what Angel-cakes and the others are doing now."
-----
"Anyone see Groo?" Cordelia asked.
"Not since he told me he was going for a walk," Fred said. "But then, that was ten this morning."
"Speaking of missing people, where's the rest of the team not to mention Smurfette?" Gunn questioned.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Lorne's still with Illyria doing... hey I remember her name! Wow talk about surprises."
"Cordy," Gunn pressed.
"As for Angel and Connor, where do you think those two are?" Cordelia asked.
Fred walked over to her, her eyes a bit wide. "You mean Angel hasn't come out of the basement since the morning?"
"He and Connor are having a bit of father-son thing going on," Cordelia explained, "in the macho warrior fighting kind of way."
"I don't know if I should be worried about that," Gunn muttered, "I mean, I know Angel can go without really eating but the kid..."
"The kid can go six days without feeling hungry at all. Mom's training." Connor spoke as he and Angel came out from the basement, both of them dressed in all black clothes.
"... what?" Angel asked Cordelia when he saw her staring at them.
"Okay. As much as I like how you two seem to be bonding, I am so not letting your son copy your wardrobe!" Cordelia vowed. "I mean one of you in nothing but black is more than the world needs. I am taking Connor shopping tomorrow."
"Shopping? But I going to train with my dad..." Connor started to say, but Cordelia came to him with a glare that actually unnerved him.
"You can train some other time junior, but we are going to go shopping and pick out a wardrobe for you that does not scream doom and gloom. Got it?" It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
Connor looked over at his father. "... she can be scarier than most demons when she wants to."
"Tell me about." Angel mouthed softly.
"Excuse me!" Cordelia snapped, hearing what Angel had said. "You've got some... some..." She trailed off then, as she appeared frozen, zoning out everyone else. "Oh boy."
"Cordelia?" Angel asked.
"A bar... some bad emotions..." Cordelia muttered, "and cheesy background music to boot."
"What is she going on about?" Connor asked.
"Looks like you two got saved from Vision Girl by Vision Girl getting a vision," Gunn quipped.
"Gunn knock it off," Angel said as he moved towards Cordy. "Cordelia. What's happening?"
After some more shouting, Cordelia awoke from her vision. "There is a woman at a bar and there's a gang of vampires that are after her. You have to help her."
"The Powers seem to keep my job very active." Angel mused.
"Job?" Connor asked.
"I gotta go take care of this. It could be kind of dangerous. There's a lot of killing and violence." Angel said to his son, "You wanna come?"
Connor smirked. "Absolutely."
-----
Why am I even here? Wesley asked himself as he put his hands on the balcony railing of the bar, which overlooked the main floor. He was scanning the crowd below when he heard a voice.
"I see you got my invitation."
"Lilah," Wes said simply as he turned to face her.
"I thought the 'come alone' was a particularly ironic touch," Lilah said with a grin, "I mean, how else would you come?" He started to walk past her, but Lilah held out a hand to stop him. "Don't rush off. Just look over there," she said, pointing below.
Wes looked down and he saw someone wasn't expecting sitting at the bar.
Justine.
"I went to a lot of trouble to arrange this little show for you." Lilah commented
"Good bye." Wes said, starting to walk away.
"Okay, but leave now and you'll miss her big death scene." Lilah smirked, knowing Wes had stopped. "Don't tell me you wouldn't like to see the bitch that slit your throat and left you to die get a little of her own back."
"What's going on here, Lilah?" Wesley questioned
"Some source - can't imagine who-" Lilah said with an amused look on her face, "-tipped her off that tonight this place would be filthy with vampires. Which, as it turns out, is true."
"Right," Wesley said with sarcasm, "because that same source tipped off the vampires that she would be here."
Lilah just shrugged. "Seems she has been pissing off a lot of undead Americans lately."
"And you thought I'd enjoy a box seat for her slaughter?"
Lilah smiled brightly at him. "Well ... yeah."
"You really don't know the first thing about me, do you?" Wesley asked without even looking at her.
"Probably not," Lilah admitted. But as Wes turned around to walk out she stepped closer to him. "Like, will he go straight to his car, or will he stop to warn her first?"
Wesley stopped walking out, yet he didn't turn or say anything to Lilah.
Lilah had a smile on her face. "He has to think about it. That's good. That's all I really needed to know." Satisfied with his reaction, she turned away from him. "You can go."
"A test Lilah?" Wes asked as he took a step after her.
"Oh, don't look so grim," Lilah said casually. "I just needed to know whether or not I was wasting my time. And to prove we're still friends, I'll have her pulled out of there before anything really lethal happens. That way you don't have to torture yourself as to whether or not you did the right thing."
Wesley didn't say anything. Instead he looked past Lilah to the floor below and took a step closer to the railing. "I don't think that will be necessary."
"Oh?" Lilah asked as she stepped up next to him, and saw an 'old friend' moving through the crowd. Should I even be surprised?
-----
"There's so many people," Connor mouthed, following right behind his father.
"Bars are popular hangouts, for humans and vampires," Angel replied, before looking back to his son. "Got your stake?"
"In my back pocket." Connor said, "Though I'd feel more comfortable with my sword or one of my other weapons."
"We can't have swords in public places. It would cause too many problems, mostly with the authorities," Angel explained. "Remember, go for the heart. Also, there's a lot of innocents here, so don't go staking anyone until you see them with their game face on."
Connor nodded, having seen his father's demonic visage earlier. Compared to some of the faces he had seen in Quor-toth, that was absolutely nothing to be worried about.
He did however become concerned with how his father had stopped moving. "Dad? What is it?"
"Not what," Angel said slowly. "Rather whom."
-----
Justine Cooper finished downing her drink, though she was also trying to drown her feelings. Everything's just one big screw up. Even my wish for revenge. What has it gotten me in the end? I'm just a pawn in someone's sick game. But even still, I'll just keep dusting vamps until the day I die.
"Ready for another?" the bartender asked her.
"No. I'm done," Justine muttered, not even paying attention.
Something she cursed herself for when she saw the bartender vamp out, grabbing her by the arm. The two guys beside her also had their game faces on.
"You're not wrong," The vampire bartender sneered.
"She thinks she a Slayer," one of the vampires said.
"She's about to learn different." The other vampire said ready to strike... only to find something sticking out of his heart.
Justine and the other two vamps watched as the vampire turned to dust, revealing a certain champion right behind him. "I didn't expect to find you here, Justine."
Angel?! Justine's eyes went wide, seeing him being the one to save her. After all the shit I've pulled, he saves my life?!
"This doesn't concern you soul boy," the other vampire growled. "Isn't this bitch trying to kill you?"
"She couldn't do it even if she tried and she's tried a couple of times already," Angel said casually. "Now we can do this one of two ways. Either you can all walk away or..."
"Or what? You'll kill us? Please. As if I haven't heard that before. I mean--" the vampire next to Justine suddenly turned to dust, and standing behind him was a teenager.
"I hate guys who just love to talk instead of fight," the teen spat. "Wastes time. Still, killing vampires is pretty straight forward." He stopped to look at Justine only to stare into her eyes.
Justine did the same and couldn't believe it. ... the baby! But—But he's a teenager! How?!
Suddenly the bartender pulled Justine up on to the bar, and then threw her into the shelves of bottles behind the bar. "You're so dead!" he shouted. He gave a whistle and suddenly more vamps started to come towards them.
"In your dreams." The teen smirked as he threw his stake right at the Bartender and it found its mark in the heart. Justine watched as he turned to dust and then saw Angel look at her.
"You're no good in a fight when you're drunk. Get out, now!" Angel ordered her.
For once, Justine didn't bother to argue with the vampire. She ran out of the bar through the back, her mind already thinking of what she learned. The baby! The baby is here! That means Daniel has to be here! I have to...
And then for the second time that evening Justine found herself restrained, only this time it was by the throat and by the most unlikely of people.
"We will talk."
-----
Well... this is sure is an unexpected surprise. Lilah mused as she watched the young man Angel had brought with him dust the bartender, allowing Justine to flee. "Who's the boy wonder? He moves just like..."
"...his father," Wesley mouthed.
WHAT?! Lilah stared at Wes with wide eyes for a moment before turning back to watch the fight. That high school teen is actually Angel's son?! How in the hell is that possible! He was a baby until Holtz took him into that hell dimension a week or so ago!
Lilah could do nothing except watch on as the apparent father and son fought off the vampires, though in the back of her mind she wondered if Holtz was in fact alive, and if Justine would be running to him.
-----
Illyria was holding one of the persons that Lilah was thinking of against the building wall, her left hand around Justine's throat. "You nearly killed Wesley. Slit his throat."
"Wh-what are you?" Justine gasped. "How did you..." The pressure around her windpipe increased.
"I am trying to determine if it is worth it to kill you. If the world would be better or worse off with you gone." Illyria mused. She knew however whatever she decided to do with Justine had to be soon. Lorne was waiting for Wesley outside and she needed to be with him.
"If you are going to kill me... go ahead..." Justine spat. "Just know Holtz will get you."
Illyria tilted her head sideways, "How does a man I killed seventeen years ago 'get me'?"
"W-what?" Justine gasped, all of the color fading from her face.
"I killed him. Raised Connor as my own."
"You... you monster! What are you!" Justine screamed. "You killed the only man that could have done what was right for humanity! What makes you..." She stopped when she saw Illyria's eyes spark with blue energy.
"'Done what was right for humanity?'" Illyria hissed, her tone laced with venom. "Would you care to see the future that your so-called 'hero' would have created if he had raised Connor to hate Angel?" She raised her other hand, her thumb and index finger out and electricity sparked between them.
Justine was forced to look into Illyria's eyes, where she saw the unimaginable. Darkness and fire along with death and suffering; humanity given peace but stripped of their free will and their ability to chose their own destiny.
But the worst for her was hearing from a memory, how she killed Holtz to make Connor hate Angel forever.
This was not the future she wished; it was a hell. A hell she would have helped to create.
And what would her sister think of her for creating such a thing?
"Enough... enough please!" Justine cried out, tears flowing from her eyes. To her surprise, she was let down gently instead of being dropped. "... why?"
"You nearly killed Wesley," Illyria started, "and yet it is because of what you did that I have the greatest gift I have ever come to know. A gift that makes the godhood I once held meaningless. You deserved a chance to change. Now we are even."
Illyria stepped out of Justine's way, yet the former lieutenant of Holtz didn't move. "Go. Now. Know this since we are even: speak of this to anyone or harm those I care for ever again, I will kill you."
Justine took off then, and as she left Illyria could feel her emotions come off of her. Confusion, anxiety, fear and concern all crash against me... Her lips formed into a smile. That means she will think now. That is good.
From the open door she could hear the fighting still going on. She took a quick peak, to see her son and his father fighting together against the vampires. She knew they would be triumphant for certain, but that was not the point.
The point was she saw the two of them together, fighting together, and enjoying every moment of it.
I'll leave them to their devices. I have my own matters to attend to, Illyria mused as she walked away to meet up with Lorne.
After all, she still had a man to meet with.
-----
Lilah saw the fight was just about over now, though she didn't have any doubts about who was going to walk away the victor. "Now tell me you're not interested," she asked Wesley, yet she got nothing. When she turned around, Wesley was gone.
"Oh well, I still got what I wanted out of this night," Lilah mused as her lips curved into a smile, "and then some." She walked out of the bar and to her car to head on back to the office.
She couldn't wait to see Gavin and Linwood's faces when she told them about tonight's events.
-----
Wesley could see the moon through all the light pollution, but none of the stars. Turning away, he walked down the street slowly. He had a lot to think about. Connor was back, and working with Angel, apparently. That was good. If he'd ever needed proof that different dimensions moved at different times, he had it. But... what, seventeen years in a few days? That was wild. Maybe he'd be better off in one of those dimensions. Although he probably still wouldn't escape Wolfram and Hart....
His thoughts came to screeching halt when Lorne stepped out of the shadows, positioned so that only Wes could see him. He drew back a step, reaching for a weapon he no longer carried.
"Hey, Wes. How are you?"
Wes blinked in surprise. "I've been better," he rasped, half-amused by the illogical question.
"I have someone here who wants to meet you."
Wes drew back another step, and Lorne shook his head. "She says she'd never hurt you."
"Do I know her?" he rasped, and wondered if he'd ever get his voice back.
"Not yet." A voice Wesley knew well spoke. A woman stepped out of the shadows, a woman who looked like a strange, warped version of Fred. She was dressed in a patchwork red leather bodysuit, with her hair, eyes and fringes of her face colored royal blue. "Hello Wesley."
"But you know me," he said wearily. "Should I be worried?"
"I'll leave you two to talk," Lorne said. "You can find your way back?" he asked Illyria, and she nodded without turning away from Wesley. He found it a little strange.
"I can show her, if you're still at the hotel," Wes said. "We can talk at my place," he added as Lorne faded back into the shadows.
Wes led her back to his place - a run-down, bare apartment - through the darkest parts of the city. "Its late enough that you won't be noticed except as someone who was at a strange party," he said as they crossed a moderately well-lit street. There were no people around. He led her upstairs and carefully locked the door behind them.
Illyria looked at Wesley for a while, just looking at his face. "Confusion, anxiety, bewilderment. All that and more I can feel coming from you, curling off your body like colored smoke."
"I understand that you're a demon," he said wearily. "But I don't know how you know me. Do you want some water or something?"
"No. I have no need of it," Illyria said slowly, but saw he was looking at her with wariness and discomfort. Mainly because of her own appearance, but also because he knew nothing about her, yet she knew him. He is not the same Wesley I know, but this is before he met me. How can I acquire what I want... or is it possible some things will be denied to me even in a second chance? She looked back to Wesley, who had not spoken a word for some time.
It was then that Illyria realized that if she was to have any chance to gain even his friendship, she knew that she had to be honest with him. "... I am from an alternate future."
He froze, then took a deep breath. "That would explain, I assume, how much you look like Fred."
"Yes... her body is my shell." Illyria explained. "I have her memories, as well as the ability to look exactly like her."
"Please... don't," he said in a strangled voice, and groped for a chair. When he'd found one, he sank down in it. "But Fred is still alive?" he rasped, his voice hoarser than normal.
Illyria tilted her head sideways. "In which context do you mean?"
"Now," he said. "I mean, she hasn't become... you and I missed it, did she?"
"No. She has not died. Nor will she ever now that I have ensured none of you will ever go to work for Wolfram and Hart," Illyria replied. "Angel has no reason to agree to work for them since I have raised Connor to love him, where Holtz had raised him to hate his father."
Wes blinked. "We worked for Wolfram and Hart?" There were so many implications in that sentence, that he grasped the one closest to his thoughts - Lilah and her offer of a job at that... firm.
"A long and complicated tale which..." Illyria stopped, staring at Wesley. "... you have not have sexual intercourse with that filthy harlot have you Wesley?"
Wes blinked and was glad he was sitting down. "Filthy Harlot?" he asked. "I haven't slept with anyone since..." He paused. "Since before being called to Sunnydale," he finally said. "Which filthy harlot are you talking about?" It didn't occur to him to even wonder about the venom in her voice.
"The one that works for the Wolf, Ram and Hart. She who I and Winifred Burkle despise, though perhaps I with more of a passion than she." Illyria stated.
"Lilah?" He nearly burst out laughing, then sobered at the implications. "I was about to say I would never, but I obviously did, in your timeline. No," he said, seeing how much it meant to her. "I haven't." His mind spun. "Would you... please, sit down, and tell me this long, complicated tale? I think I'd better hear it."
"I shall, but you mustn't tell anyone what I tell you," Illyria told him, her features softened, "and I am glad, you have not had intercourse with the harlot."
"So am I and I won't say anything to anyone," Wesley replied. "...I just realized I don't even know your name."
"My name is Illyria."
------
At the Hyperion, Angel stood in the doorway of Connor's room, watching his son. Soundly asleep, he reminded Angel of how he had slept when he was in his crib. Illyria and Lorne hadn't come back yet, but he agreed with Connor that Illyria could take care of herself.
After all, she probably stronger than me, Angel mused.
"You look happy." Angel turned around to see Cordelia behind him, a smile on her face.
"I am," Angel admitted. "You should have seen us together tonight. It felt so..."
"So right?" Cordelia offered, surprising Angel. "After you left I had another vision. I was seeing the two of you together, fighting side by side. You two really went to town on those vamps you know that."
Angel laughed slightly. "Well... yeah. I've missed so many things with him Cordelia. So many firsts."
"Well being there when he staked his first vampire had to mean something, right?" Cordelia asked. Seeing Angel's confused look, she laughed. "You don't know, do you?"
"Know... what?" Angel asked.
"That until this very night, Connor's never staked a vampire in his life!" Cordelia smirked. "They don't have them on Quor-toth, silly!"
"They don't?" Angel blinked, surprised completely by this. He looked back at his son's sleeping form, a rather proud look on his face as well as a bit of a goofy one.
"It's the moments when you look like this and not like the brooding Dark Avenger that make this job of mine worth while. Smile."
"Smile? What do you mean--" Angel stopped when he saw Cordelia had a camera had just taken a picture of him.
"Yes! I finally capture you looking human on film!" Cordelia cheered. "I mean after all, the whole Vampires can't be caught on camera thing is just a big myth."
"Cordy, give me that camera." Angel asked.
"Um... no!" Cordelia smirked as she ran away, with Angel right behind her.
"Cordelia give me that camera!" Angel called after her. He did not want anyone seeing that picture.
-----
There was someone else just did see that entire exchange, although neither Angel nor Cordelia saw him.
My princess, is it me you love or is it him? the Groosalug asked himself. He had seen how his princess seemed to go to Angel now, be so concerned for him, since Connor had been taken and even more now that he had returned with the different Fred.
He had taken his walk away from her today to try to think if he had a place here and if he really believed that it was just her friendship towards him. The walk had done nothing but strengthen his doubts.
Night is not the best time to think of such matters... but tomorrow is the right time to talk to her. He decided to return home to rest, so that he might think of how to approach his princess come the morning.
-----
"Are you alright Wesley?" Illyria asked. She had finished telling Wesley everything that she knew and that she had learned from her memories from Winifred Burkle. Yet for five minutes now he had not said one word.
"I'm not sure," he said slowly.
"Do you..." Illyria paused, not sure if she wanted to even say the words, yet knew that she had to. She needed to know how he felt. "Do you hate me, Wesley?"
He laughed, which surprised him. "Do I hate you? Why would I hate you?" But the question was almost carelessly asked, as if he weren't even concentrating on it.
"You hated me when I pretended to be Fred. You then distanced yourself from me, and yet still helped me," Illyria said softly. "You were my guide in the world. The one person that actually helped me discover a humanity I did not believe I could have." She looked into his eyes, her gaze being a sad one. "I felt grief, grief that I could not control when you died in my arms so many years ago. I never..." her voice choked with emotions for a second as she tried compose herself, "I never thought I would ever see you again."
"Ah," Wes said. After a moment of silence, he took a deep breath. "I am not that man," he finally said. "And I won't be that man, the one that hated you." He paused again, wishing he could smile and ease her pain a little, but the smiles had been smothered out of him in the hospital. "But that is not to say that I cannot be that man that you loved." Because, he added to himself, you never said if I loved you.
Illyria wanted to say something to that but could not. Yes, she knew now that she did in fact love him. It was through raising Connor that she discovered love to begin with and it was from that love that she could understand her own emotions. "I... I understand Wesley. But even... even if that does not happen, can we not become friends?"
Wes nodded wearily. "I am very short of friends right now," he said softly. "I would not mind having one more. But you won't be able to tell Angel."
"I can accept that," Illyria said, a smile on her face. "I should go now though. My son will be wondering by now."
"I can show you how to..." Wesley started to say until he saw Illyria wave her right hand and a vortex appeared.
"I can get back on my own," Illyria replied, and smiled kindly to him, "but thank you for your offer Wesley. Have peaceful dreams." She walked through the vortex and then both she and the vortex vanished.
Wes took a deep breath. "You'd think I'd get used to things like that," he muttered to the air, and went to bed.
He couldn't sleep. The things he'd learned that evening rolled over and over in his head until he finally sat up. This is ridiculous, he thought. None of what she said is going to happen.
But he knew it didn't work like that. Some of the things were bound to happen. She would come back, this Illyria, only this time, there would be no Fred for her to inhabit, no love-mad former watcher to follow her to see the destruction of all she expected to be there, no one to show her what it was like in this world. He sighed. Somehow, he couldn't feel bad for that Illyria.
But this one was something else. She loved the him-that-was, and seemed willing to love the him-that-is-now. He chuckled mirthlessly, wondering when Buffy, Willow and Fred had all conspired to drive him mad and speak in his thoughts. Holtz... was dead, she'd killed him herself, and the rest of them had discovered that the prophecy he'd risked his life to avoid was false.
False. There was a reason he was a FORMER watcher.
A thought intruded on his self-condemnation. She wanted to be his friend. "Friend," he said into the dark, trying the word out. It didn't taste as bitter as it had the last time he'd said it, before she'd come. He thought he could like this Illyria. And that was a good place to start.
Wes lay down again and closed his eyes. Sleep claimed him almost immediately.
-----
At Wolfram and Hart, Linwood Murrow had a smile on his face. Granted he didn't let anyone see it until they were all out of the room. Still, how could he not smile after what Lilah had told him.
The vampire hybrid and fully grown no less... perfect time to take him for dissection. Linwood chuckled as he picked up the phone. "Yes Kerry, get me Black Ops would you please. I need them to clear their schedule for the next seven days at least." He paused for a moment before giving his response, "just let them know that if they manage to pull this job off, I might consider giving them their early retirement packages now."
One way or the other, that boy was going to belong to Wolfram and Hart.
To Be Continued...