Okay once again I am REALLY sorry about the long wait for updates. (dodges
rotten food thrown by readers)Bad luck decided to pay me a visit last week,
every time I was free to use the computer, someone else was using it, or I
had to go somewhere. Anyway I hope you like this next section. Oh, and as
promised, here's cake to all my reviewers! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: If you REALLY want to read it, see the first few chapters.
Lawyer: You can't do that!
Me: I just did. Now shut up or I'll lower you within reach of the hungry
sharks.
Lawyer: I'll shut up.
Dragon: Drat...
Chapter 9: Amanda Bell's Gift
Kay stood on the deck of the Dauntless, half-listening as Elizabeth gave a hasty overview of her experience. Someone had given her a soldier's coat to cover the nightgown she was wearing.
Kay found that she had experienced too much in the past few hours, and that her emotions had once again shut down. She was separated from the rest of the world, listless, not caring one way or the other what happened to her. She wanted to rest. She still had a hangover headache to top off everything else, and she needed to rest. Elizabeth's shrill protest cut through her listlessness and woke her up again.
"But we've got to save Will!"
"No," Governor Swan told her forcefully. "We shall return to Port Royal immediately, not go gallivanting after pirates."
"So what about Will? Are we just going to leave him?" Elizabeth pleaded. Governor Swan and Commodore Norington exchanged looks.
"The boy's fate is regrettable," said Governor Swan, sounding as if he really didn't care at all. "But so was his decision to engage in piracy."
"To rescue me!" shrilled Elizabeth. "To keep anything from happening to me!"
"The Pearl was listing rather badly and it's unlikely she'll be able to make good time," said Jack, stepping forward to back Elizabeth. "Think about it. The Black Pearl. The last real pirate threat in the Caribbean. How can you pass that up?" he asked Norington.
Norington looked him over in distaste. "By remembering that I serve others Mr. Sparrow, not only myself." Governor Swan and Commodore Norington started to walk away. Desperately Elizabeth followed them. "Commodore I beg you to do this for me." She paused for a brief second, and getting no response added, "As a wedding gift."
That brought Elizabeth a few stares, Kay's and Norington's not the least of them.
"Elizabeth," exclaimed Governor Swan happily. "Are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?"
"I am," said Elizabeth in stoic resignation.
"Wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!" Jack stepped forward. Kay almost smiled. The Commodore glared. "I know." Jack held out his hands. "Clap him in irons, right?"
The Commodore stepped forward thoughtfully. "Mr. Sparrow you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide them with the heading to Isle de Muerta. You will then spend the rest of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Inescapably," Jack said.
"What of this one here?" asked one of the soldiers, pointing at Kay. "What should I so with her?"
Kay looked directly at the Commodore and he caught her eyes without meaning to for a brief second. What he saw there disturbed him greatly. Misery and grief held prominence, and other things he couldn't quite identify. He hadn't paid the girl much mind before. She was dressed like a pirate, brown slacks, loose white shirt, black bandanna, and a rather ratty braid of dark brown hair. Now, like nearly everyone else who saw Kay, he was filled with a deep sympathy for her. But he found her gaze disturbing and had to look away quickly.
"Sir?" asked the soldier.
"Take her to wherever I'm staying," Elizabeth told him. "She's my friend, she can stay with me." The Commodore nodded his assent and Kay was led off to a small cabin.
"I'll have a cot brought in," the soldier told her. Kay nodded, and walked over to the bed and sat down.
She ran her hands down the legs of her pants. Bringing them up again she encountered a bulge in her pocket. Frowning she reached in and pulled out the cloth-wrapped book she had been given in Tortuga. She stared down at it in shock. She had completely forgotten about it. She hurriedly unwrapped it, relieved to see that the waterproof cloths had kept it from being harmed in her swim to the island.
When they went out from Tortuga Kay hadn't had the time to examine it. Now she did. The leather bound book had a strange familiarity. She felt that she had seen it before. Curiously she opened it. The first page nearly knocked the wind out of her. "The Diary of Amanda Bell."
Shaking Kay turned the page. The first entry was dated in these times. Still shaking, Kay read the entry.
"Today my father announced that I am to be married. Married! To someone I never met before, and care nothing about! He claims he has my best interests at heart, but I know my parents. This is just another of their sorry attempts at social climbing. I'm sick of it. I have no friends and no confidants because my parents feel that I should not socialize regularly with anyone below our social standing, which, to them, is everyone else on this island. This diary is now my only confidant. So now I'll confide this.
I'm leaving. Tomorrow night. I have made arrangements with a captain, who agreed to take me to Tortuga where I'm sure I can find another ship willing to take me elsewhere. Anywhere else, as long as it's far away from here and my "well meaning" parents. The money I shall take to pay for my passages and to get myself settled my parents shall hardly miss."
Kay finished the entry. She read the next few, describing Amanda's flight and her arrival at Tortuga. Kay smiled weakly at finding that Amanda's impression of the dirty little town mirrored her own. In the next entry Amanda wrote that she had found a captain who would be willing to take her to Port Royale. She was meeting with him later that day to discuss a fee. She wanted to stay hidden because her parents had arrived on the island and were searching for her.
Kay had finally managed to calm herself again, but when she turned the nest page her efforts were thrown to the wind and she felt as if someone had slugged her in the gut. The next passage was dated May 10th, 1978. Struggling to breathe normally she read it.
"The past few days have been, to say the least, unbelievable. I'm still not entirely sure that I'm not dreaming. I'm constantly looking around, expecting to wake up at any moment back home. At first I wanted to, I was so confused and scared. Now I'm not so sure. I like it here. I feel free. Let me back up a bit.
I went to talk to the captain about passage on his ship. We were sitting in the bar talking when everything started to, shimmer, I guess. There's no other word for it. Then the bar faded out all together. I jumped up from my chair, but it was no longer there. The bar had disappeared and I was suddenly standing in a strange room. It was obviously used for storage, it was filled with boxes and very dusty. The only things I had with me was my money bag and my diary. Then I heard someone behind me. I turned around and saw a young man. He had black hair and dark blue eyes. He was dressed strangely, in what he later said was a tee-shirt and blue jeans. He was looking at me like I was a ghost. But then I was staring at him the same way.
He finally asked me who I was. I told him my name, then he told me his. Christopher Joans.
Kay suppressed a whimper. She has been right. This was her mother's diary, the man she was describing was her father. Her earlier assumptions had been proven correct. Her mother was from this time period, and she had gone forward in time. A fleeting hope that she was here now rose in Kay. Maybe her parents hadn't died but had come here before the car crashed. Kay shook herself out of the daydream. Their bodies had been found and there was no use in torturing herself into believing that they were still living. Wiping away tears Kay kept reading.
The entry went on to say that Christopher took Amanda to his home. He had seen her just appear out of nowhere in the basement of his work building, so he believed her story. At least he believed it after he managed to convince himself he wasn't dreaming or crazy. After that the entries became a little farther apart in time. Amanda started writing about events that were important to her only. Like when Christopher proposed to her, and their wedding day. She wrote a small entry for almost every day of their honeymoon too. She said she felt like she had never lived anywhere else and that her past life felt like just a dream.
About halfway through the book was another entry that brought a fresh stream of tears to Kay's eyes. It was about her birth. Amanda's words practically glowed with joy, and Kay could vividly see the picture the words painted. She watched in her mother's small, neat handwriting as she learned how to crawl, walk, and talk. She watched herself grow up through a different pair of eyes. She always knew that her parents had loved her, but seeing it written in her mother's journal, seeing the unaltered pride in her mother's words, it somehow hit her harder.
Footsteps sounded outside the room and Kay quickly tried to duck behind her walls, to put on her emotionless mask, only to discover that the walls were starting to crumble, and that the mask wasn't holding together. The footsteps passed by the room without stopping however, so Kay turned back to her mother's diary.
It was nearing the end of the diary, and Kay read about her fifteenth birthday, about how her mother was sad that her little girl was growing up so fast. Then the date of the entries suddenly changed again, reverting back to the past.
I was scared yesterday, when I found myself back here. It seemed that only about a year or maybe two have passed since I disappeared. I've become something of a mini legend. But now I think I know why I was brought back, and I know this isn't permanent. I'll be going home soon, but I'm almost afraid to now. It was impossible not to recognize her, especially after mother mistook her for me. But oh how she's grown up. She must be at least in her twenties by now. My beautiful little girl, all grown up.
I think I was brought back because, for some reason, I'm not there for her in the future. Even from a distance it's easy to see, she's miserable. Lonely and miserable. I can hardly believe that this is the happy, carefree, energetic girl I left at home. It hurts me to see my little girl in this much pain. From what I've seen she's closed up her heart. But if I'm right, I pray to God I am, it looks like she only needs a little push to open it up again. I hope I can help her.
Kay closed the book and swallowed hard, eyes squinched shut against a flood of tears. She was breathing hard, sucking in air through clenched teeth. The door opened then, and Elizabeth walked in. She looked at Kay and stopped, shocked. Then in a quick movement she sat down beside the older girl and wrapped her arms around her, offering her a shoulder to cry on.
At first Kay continued to fight against the flood of tears threatening, then she gave in to them, holding tightly to Elizabeth for support. When the tears finally stopped she was shocked to find that she didn't hurt as much. It was as if some deep wound had finally started to heal.
"What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked finally.
In response Kay pushed the journal over to her. "It was my mother's," she said by way of explanation. Elizabeth opened the journal and began to read. When she came to the part about Amanda's trip through time she sputtered in disbelief. She read on for a few minutes, then turned to Kay.
"I think you need to explain a few things." She said quietly. So Kay did. She told Elizabeth about her life, and everything that had happened up until that point. She talked for a few hours. While she talked a solider brought in a cot for Kay to sleep on, and Elizabeth helped Kay set it up. Finally Kay finished her story, finding to he surprise that it was easier to talk about this time, it didn't hurt as much.
Elizabeth sat in silence for a few minutes after hearing the tale, thinking. She flipped through the journal again and sighed. Kay waited for her response in silence.
"You know," Elizabeth started. "If I had heard this story even last week I don't think I would have believed a word of it. But I've seen so much in the past few days." She sighed again, and shook her head. "I do believe you. Strange as this all is, I do believe you." She smiled at Kay, who smiled back hesitantly. She was starting to see Elizabeth as a friend, despite the voice in the back of her head still screaming that being friends with anyone was too dangerous.
Elizabeth glanced down and read the last passage in the diary. She couldn't see that being the end, though. Kay was staring at her knees in thought. Elizabeth turned the page, and found to her shock, a letter on the last two pages of the book. It was addressed to Kay. She nudged the girl's shoulder and wordlessly handed the book over, open to the letter. With a slight frown Kay accepted the book. She read the first few lines eyes widening in shock. Elizabeth decided to leave the girl alone for a while. She probably wanted privacy to read the letter her mother had written.
Kay was barely conscious of Elizabeth quietly retreating from the room. All her attention was now on the book in her hands, and the letter her mother had addressed to her.
Dear Kay,
I'm going to give this book to someone to give to you. I'll probably be gone by morning but I must be sure you receive this.
I guess from reading this you figured out that those bedtime stories about the young runaway who traveled through time to find true love were really about me. I hope you had an easy journey back here, and I hope you can forgive me for not telling you the truth. But would you have really believed me if I had? Well, now you know. I hope you're enjoying my time.
I want to tell you, first, that I love you. You're the brightest spot in my life, my daughter. Nothing is more precious to me than you are. Watching you grow up gave me the greatest pride. Just watching you made me the happiest person in the world.
Second, I want to say that you've grown up beautifully. You look just like me, as I'm sure my mother informed you earlier. It's hard to believe that my little baby girl has grown up. You've become a beautiful young women. (I know you always hated being called a young lady.)
Now I wasn't sure why I was brought back in time again. But after seeing you tonight I think I have an idea. You're lonely, scared and lonely. On the outside I see a beautiful, detached young woman, but on the inside I see a scared, lonely child, afraid to trust herself. I'm not sure what's happened between the young girl I left this morning and now Kay, but I do know that keeping yourself bottled up inside isn't the answer. You're just going to hurt yourself more.
It hurts me no end to see you in so much pain Kay. I want to help you, more than anything but I don't think I can. I think you need to work this out on your own. But I will leave you with this piece of advice. Trust your heart. Always trust your heart because your heart never leads you wrong. In the end, it'll bring you to safe ground, if you just let your heart guide you.
Don't hide your heart away Kay. And don't be afraid to love, and to be loved. This is all I can give you. I hope it's enough. I love you Kay. Come life, come pain, come death itself I'll love you always. And I'll always watch over you.
Mom
Amanda Joans
Kay read through the letter several times, tears making silent tracks down her cheeks.
Trust your heart
How could she? Every time she cared for someone they ended up dead, and her heart broken.
Let your heart guide you
Oh how she wanted to, but could she really? Was it really safe to?
In the end, it'll bring you to safe ground
Dare she trust that? Dare she?
Amanda watched, as for the third time in her life, the world shimmered around her. The boy she had sent with her journal had already trotted away on his errand, so she was assured that her daughter would receive her gift. The world solidified again, into the living room of her house. Almost instantly there were light footsteps on the stairs.
Amanda walked into the kitchen just as her 15 year old daughter entered through the other door, yawning. Kay padded over to the fridge and started rooting through it for breakfast. Settling on waffles, she tugged a few out of the freezer and popped them in the toaster. She leaned against the counter and waited for them to toast. She felt Amanda's gaze and turned to look at her, puzzled.
"Something wrong mom?" she asked quietly. Amanda crossed over to her and wrapped her daughter in a tight embrace.
"No anymore. I think everything's going to be just fine."
Done! Finally! I wasn't sure whether to add that last section with Amanda, but I decided to put it in, so let me know what you think of it. I'll try to update again soon, but again, no promises. Extra cake to all reviewers again! Dragon: (burp) Sorry. We're out of cake. Me: Okay then. I'll bake a batch of cookies special for all of you who review! Let me know what kind you want
Kay stood on the deck of the Dauntless, half-listening as Elizabeth gave a hasty overview of her experience. Someone had given her a soldier's coat to cover the nightgown she was wearing.
Kay found that she had experienced too much in the past few hours, and that her emotions had once again shut down. She was separated from the rest of the world, listless, not caring one way or the other what happened to her. She wanted to rest. She still had a hangover headache to top off everything else, and she needed to rest. Elizabeth's shrill protest cut through her listlessness and woke her up again.
"But we've got to save Will!"
"No," Governor Swan told her forcefully. "We shall return to Port Royal immediately, not go gallivanting after pirates."
"So what about Will? Are we just going to leave him?" Elizabeth pleaded. Governor Swan and Commodore Norington exchanged looks.
"The boy's fate is regrettable," said Governor Swan, sounding as if he really didn't care at all. "But so was his decision to engage in piracy."
"To rescue me!" shrilled Elizabeth. "To keep anything from happening to me!"
"The Pearl was listing rather badly and it's unlikely she'll be able to make good time," said Jack, stepping forward to back Elizabeth. "Think about it. The Black Pearl. The last real pirate threat in the Caribbean. How can you pass that up?" he asked Norington.
Norington looked him over in distaste. "By remembering that I serve others Mr. Sparrow, not only myself." Governor Swan and Commodore Norington started to walk away. Desperately Elizabeth followed them. "Commodore I beg you to do this for me." She paused for a brief second, and getting no response added, "As a wedding gift."
That brought Elizabeth a few stares, Kay's and Norington's not the least of them.
"Elizabeth," exclaimed Governor Swan happily. "Are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?"
"I am," said Elizabeth in stoic resignation.
"Wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!" Jack stepped forward. Kay almost smiled. The Commodore glared. "I know." Jack held out his hands. "Clap him in irons, right?"
The Commodore stepped forward thoughtfully. "Mr. Sparrow you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide them with the heading to Isle de Muerta. You will then spend the rest of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Inescapably," Jack said.
"What of this one here?" asked one of the soldiers, pointing at Kay. "What should I so with her?"
Kay looked directly at the Commodore and he caught her eyes without meaning to for a brief second. What he saw there disturbed him greatly. Misery and grief held prominence, and other things he couldn't quite identify. He hadn't paid the girl much mind before. She was dressed like a pirate, brown slacks, loose white shirt, black bandanna, and a rather ratty braid of dark brown hair. Now, like nearly everyone else who saw Kay, he was filled with a deep sympathy for her. But he found her gaze disturbing and had to look away quickly.
"Sir?" asked the soldier.
"Take her to wherever I'm staying," Elizabeth told him. "She's my friend, she can stay with me." The Commodore nodded his assent and Kay was led off to a small cabin.
"I'll have a cot brought in," the soldier told her. Kay nodded, and walked over to the bed and sat down.
She ran her hands down the legs of her pants. Bringing them up again she encountered a bulge in her pocket. Frowning she reached in and pulled out the cloth-wrapped book she had been given in Tortuga. She stared down at it in shock. She had completely forgotten about it. She hurriedly unwrapped it, relieved to see that the waterproof cloths had kept it from being harmed in her swim to the island.
When they went out from Tortuga Kay hadn't had the time to examine it. Now she did. The leather bound book had a strange familiarity. She felt that she had seen it before. Curiously she opened it. The first page nearly knocked the wind out of her. "The Diary of Amanda Bell."
Shaking Kay turned the page. The first entry was dated in these times. Still shaking, Kay read the entry.
"Today my father announced that I am to be married. Married! To someone I never met before, and care nothing about! He claims he has my best interests at heart, but I know my parents. This is just another of their sorry attempts at social climbing. I'm sick of it. I have no friends and no confidants because my parents feel that I should not socialize regularly with anyone below our social standing, which, to them, is everyone else on this island. This diary is now my only confidant. So now I'll confide this.
I'm leaving. Tomorrow night. I have made arrangements with a captain, who agreed to take me to Tortuga where I'm sure I can find another ship willing to take me elsewhere. Anywhere else, as long as it's far away from here and my "well meaning" parents. The money I shall take to pay for my passages and to get myself settled my parents shall hardly miss."
Kay finished the entry. She read the next few, describing Amanda's flight and her arrival at Tortuga. Kay smiled weakly at finding that Amanda's impression of the dirty little town mirrored her own. In the next entry Amanda wrote that she had found a captain who would be willing to take her to Port Royale. She was meeting with him later that day to discuss a fee. She wanted to stay hidden because her parents had arrived on the island and were searching for her.
Kay had finally managed to calm herself again, but when she turned the nest page her efforts were thrown to the wind and she felt as if someone had slugged her in the gut. The next passage was dated May 10th, 1978. Struggling to breathe normally she read it.
"The past few days have been, to say the least, unbelievable. I'm still not entirely sure that I'm not dreaming. I'm constantly looking around, expecting to wake up at any moment back home. At first I wanted to, I was so confused and scared. Now I'm not so sure. I like it here. I feel free. Let me back up a bit.
I went to talk to the captain about passage on his ship. We were sitting in the bar talking when everything started to, shimmer, I guess. There's no other word for it. Then the bar faded out all together. I jumped up from my chair, but it was no longer there. The bar had disappeared and I was suddenly standing in a strange room. It was obviously used for storage, it was filled with boxes and very dusty. The only things I had with me was my money bag and my diary. Then I heard someone behind me. I turned around and saw a young man. He had black hair and dark blue eyes. He was dressed strangely, in what he later said was a tee-shirt and blue jeans. He was looking at me like I was a ghost. But then I was staring at him the same way.
He finally asked me who I was. I told him my name, then he told me his. Christopher Joans.
Kay suppressed a whimper. She has been right. This was her mother's diary, the man she was describing was her father. Her earlier assumptions had been proven correct. Her mother was from this time period, and she had gone forward in time. A fleeting hope that she was here now rose in Kay. Maybe her parents hadn't died but had come here before the car crashed. Kay shook herself out of the daydream. Their bodies had been found and there was no use in torturing herself into believing that they were still living. Wiping away tears Kay kept reading.
The entry went on to say that Christopher took Amanda to his home. He had seen her just appear out of nowhere in the basement of his work building, so he believed her story. At least he believed it after he managed to convince himself he wasn't dreaming or crazy. After that the entries became a little farther apart in time. Amanda started writing about events that were important to her only. Like when Christopher proposed to her, and their wedding day. She wrote a small entry for almost every day of their honeymoon too. She said she felt like she had never lived anywhere else and that her past life felt like just a dream.
About halfway through the book was another entry that brought a fresh stream of tears to Kay's eyes. It was about her birth. Amanda's words practically glowed with joy, and Kay could vividly see the picture the words painted. She watched in her mother's small, neat handwriting as she learned how to crawl, walk, and talk. She watched herself grow up through a different pair of eyes. She always knew that her parents had loved her, but seeing it written in her mother's journal, seeing the unaltered pride in her mother's words, it somehow hit her harder.
Footsteps sounded outside the room and Kay quickly tried to duck behind her walls, to put on her emotionless mask, only to discover that the walls were starting to crumble, and that the mask wasn't holding together. The footsteps passed by the room without stopping however, so Kay turned back to her mother's diary.
It was nearing the end of the diary, and Kay read about her fifteenth birthday, about how her mother was sad that her little girl was growing up so fast. Then the date of the entries suddenly changed again, reverting back to the past.
I was scared yesterday, when I found myself back here. It seemed that only about a year or maybe two have passed since I disappeared. I've become something of a mini legend. But now I think I know why I was brought back, and I know this isn't permanent. I'll be going home soon, but I'm almost afraid to now. It was impossible not to recognize her, especially after mother mistook her for me. But oh how she's grown up. She must be at least in her twenties by now. My beautiful little girl, all grown up.
I think I was brought back because, for some reason, I'm not there for her in the future. Even from a distance it's easy to see, she's miserable. Lonely and miserable. I can hardly believe that this is the happy, carefree, energetic girl I left at home. It hurts me to see my little girl in this much pain. From what I've seen she's closed up her heart. But if I'm right, I pray to God I am, it looks like she only needs a little push to open it up again. I hope I can help her.
Kay closed the book and swallowed hard, eyes squinched shut against a flood of tears. She was breathing hard, sucking in air through clenched teeth. The door opened then, and Elizabeth walked in. She looked at Kay and stopped, shocked. Then in a quick movement she sat down beside the older girl and wrapped her arms around her, offering her a shoulder to cry on.
At first Kay continued to fight against the flood of tears threatening, then she gave in to them, holding tightly to Elizabeth for support. When the tears finally stopped she was shocked to find that she didn't hurt as much. It was as if some deep wound had finally started to heal.
"What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked finally.
In response Kay pushed the journal over to her. "It was my mother's," she said by way of explanation. Elizabeth opened the journal and began to read. When she came to the part about Amanda's trip through time she sputtered in disbelief. She read on for a few minutes, then turned to Kay.
"I think you need to explain a few things." She said quietly. So Kay did. She told Elizabeth about her life, and everything that had happened up until that point. She talked for a few hours. While she talked a solider brought in a cot for Kay to sleep on, and Elizabeth helped Kay set it up. Finally Kay finished her story, finding to he surprise that it was easier to talk about this time, it didn't hurt as much.
Elizabeth sat in silence for a few minutes after hearing the tale, thinking. She flipped through the journal again and sighed. Kay waited for her response in silence.
"You know," Elizabeth started. "If I had heard this story even last week I don't think I would have believed a word of it. But I've seen so much in the past few days." She sighed again, and shook her head. "I do believe you. Strange as this all is, I do believe you." She smiled at Kay, who smiled back hesitantly. She was starting to see Elizabeth as a friend, despite the voice in the back of her head still screaming that being friends with anyone was too dangerous.
Elizabeth glanced down and read the last passage in the diary. She couldn't see that being the end, though. Kay was staring at her knees in thought. Elizabeth turned the page, and found to her shock, a letter on the last two pages of the book. It was addressed to Kay. She nudged the girl's shoulder and wordlessly handed the book over, open to the letter. With a slight frown Kay accepted the book. She read the first few lines eyes widening in shock. Elizabeth decided to leave the girl alone for a while. She probably wanted privacy to read the letter her mother had written.
Kay was barely conscious of Elizabeth quietly retreating from the room. All her attention was now on the book in her hands, and the letter her mother had addressed to her.
Dear Kay,
I'm going to give this book to someone to give to you. I'll probably be gone by morning but I must be sure you receive this.
I guess from reading this you figured out that those bedtime stories about the young runaway who traveled through time to find true love were really about me. I hope you had an easy journey back here, and I hope you can forgive me for not telling you the truth. But would you have really believed me if I had? Well, now you know. I hope you're enjoying my time.
I want to tell you, first, that I love you. You're the brightest spot in my life, my daughter. Nothing is more precious to me than you are. Watching you grow up gave me the greatest pride. Just watching you made me the happiest person in the world.
Second, I want to say that you've grown up beautifully. You look just like me, as I'm sure my mother informed you earlier. It's hard to believe that my little baby girl has grown up. You've become a beautiful young women. (I know you always hated being called a young lady.)
Now I wasn't sure why I was brought back in time again. But after seeing you tonight I think I have an idea. You're lonely, scared and lonely. On the outside I see a beautiful, detached young woman, but on the inside I see a scared, lonely child, afraid to trust herself. I'm not sure what's happened between the young girl I left this morning and now Kay, but I do know that keeping yourself bottled up inside isn't the answer. You're just going to hurt yourself more.
It hurts me no end to see you in so much pain Kay. I want to help you, more than anything but I don't think I can. I think you need to work this out on your own. But I will leave you with this piece of advice. Trust your heart. Always trust your heart because your heart never leads you wrong. In the end, it'll bring you to safe ground, if you just let your heart guide you.
Don't hide your heart away Kay. And don't be afraid to love, and to be loved. This is all I can give you. I hope it's enough. I love you Kay. Come life, come pain, come death itself I'll love you always. And I'll always watch over you.
Mom
Amanda Joans
Kay read through the letter several times, tears making silent tracks down her cheeks.
Trust your heart
How could she? Every time she cared for someone they ended up dead, and her heart broken.
Let your heart guide you
Oh how she wanted to, but could she really? Was it really safe to?
In the end, it'll bring you to safe ground
Dare she trust that? Dare she?
Amanda watched, as for the third time in her life, the world shimmered around her. The boy she had sent with her journal had already trotted away on his errand, so she was assured that her daughter would receive her gift. The world solidified again, into the living room of her house. Almost instantly there were light footsteps on the stairs.
Amanda walked into the kitchen just as her 15 year old daughter entered through the other door, yawning. Kay padded over to the fridge and started rooting through it for breakfast. Settling on waffles, she tugged a few out of the freezer and popped them in the toaster. She leaned against the counter and waited for them to toast. She felt Amanda's gaze and turned to look at her, puzzled.
"Something wrong mom?" she asked quietly. Amanda crossed over to her and wrapped her daughter in a tight embrace.
"No anymore. I think everything's going to be just fine."
Done! Finally! I wasn't sure whether to add that last section with Amanda, but I decided to put it in, so let me know what you think of it. I'll try to update again soon, but again, no promises. Extra cake to all reviewers again! Dragon: (burp) Sorry. We're out of cake. Me: Okay then. I'll bake a batch of cookies special for all of you who review! Let me know what kind you want