17. Ava

She's asleep. She so kindly rolled to the side. I miss her weight on top of me already. I slowly explore my body, but I can't find any emerging bruises to rub. Not one. She was so gentle, and I'm lonely again. I have no scars with which to recall her love. I knew she was too perfect, so perfect. She has respect for me. She doesn't want to hurt me, and it's killing me. Lonnie was savage. Zan never touched me, but could kill me with a look. Rath never did anything but beat me. I never thought all those scars could heal, but they did. Now I'm alone. My lover beside me and still I'm alone. Fuck you, fuck you all for making me not satisfied with this perfect love. Fuck you for turning me into a masochist. We were the rejects; I know that now. I never had a chance to be normal. I never had a chance to be happy. I hatched this way. Fucked up.