This part is simply the product of three giggling, sleep deprived girls. Many of these may sound funnier at 3:30 in the morning, when you have had too much caffeine and no sleep...you have been warned!
Read these out takes as though the story were a movie and each character is an actor.
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She heard the dulcet tones of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it on." She then saw a silhouette of a man dancing seductively behind the screen. Slowly, the screen slid open and she saw Naraku unhurriedly emerge, never breaking his seductive swaying.
"Come on, Kagome. You'll bear my child, won't you?" He came closer to her and let his kimono drop around his shoulders, swaying more and showing her his chest while begging her, "Pleeeeease?"
Kagome was doubled over on her knees, holding her stomach in a fit of laughter and it took six more takes to get them to be able to keep a straight face. Both Kagome and Naraku have admitted that they are no longer able to listen to that song.
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Chapter 2- When you master your new Tetsusaiga, little brother, you can retrieve your wench." InuYasha could feel his blood boiling. He reached down, and quickly unsheathed his sword, only to quickly discover that it was not his Tetsusaiga. He stood their stunned, only to see Sesshoumaru break into a victory dance, while he pulled the Tetsusaiga from his own sheath.
"I finally got your sword, little brother!" With that Sesshoumaru turned and ran, shouting TETSUSAIGA! Swinging the sword wildly at anything or anyone that got in his way.
The whole layout of the scene had to be changed, as no one could keep a straight face once the swords where visible.
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Chapter 3- Sesshomaru turned to take Rin to bed, turning his head and saying to Kagome, "Go and clean yourself up. After your bath, I will speak with you in your room."
He turned and left her sight, leaving her with nothing to do but follow his orders. Upon returning to her room, she attempted to mentally prepare herself for her confrontation with Sesshomaru, and she slowly opened the door. What she saw there left her in shock as she realized that he had gone through her bag and retrieved her portable CD player, and was now erratically dancing around the room, flipping his hair about. She realized then that he had also taken her hairbrush, and he now held it up to his mouth and began to sing in a high voice.
"Oops...I did it again, to your heart. Got lost, in this game, oh Babeeee." Kagome once again lost herself in a fit of laughter as the now deadpan Sesshomaru turned to her and said, "You will speak of this to no one, human." This made her laugh harder.
This section had to be completely moved, as neither of them could do the serious scene in that room afterwards.
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Chapter 4- She grabbed her first aid material out of her bag, and walked towards the demon lord. He had not taken his eyes off of her. His intense stare unnerved Kagome. She could never tell what he was thinking. He stiffened slightly when she began removing his robe. The gash was much worse than she anticipated. Though it was not terrible, it was very deep. She was going to have to sew it up, and she was not sure how he would react to this.
As Kagome began to clean Sesshoumaru's wound, she decided to venture a look up at him to gauge his expression, only to find herself face-to-face with the nozzle of a water gun. She noticed a devilish smile on his face as he began to squirt her, causing her to reel backwards, landing on her back. He proceeded to pick up some water balloons from his side and dropped them on her, yelling "Death to all humans!" Kagome lay on the floor, drenched and barely able to breathe from laughing so hard.
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Chapter 6- Rin's face was broke out in a smile as she held the flower out to him. He took it from her and looked at it. He then looked to Kagome who obviously found the thought of the Great Lord of the Western Lands, wearing a wildflower in his hair, to be quite amusing. He saw the look of anticipation on Rin's face. He lifted the flower to his hair. "Yay!" shouted Rin. Sesshoumaru then turned to Kagome, one hand on his out-jutted hip and one on the side of his head, and asked her in a prissy voice,
"Does this flower make me look fat?" Kagome looked at him thoughtfully, trying not to laugh, and answered, "Now that you mention it..." Sesshomaru squeaked in indignance and threw the flower to the ground as the two girls were laughing mercilessly. He stalked off with his nose in the air saying, "Well, I never!" stopping twenty feet away from them, unable to hold in his laughter.
Chapter 7- Having him at her side, made Sango suddenly feel alive. As though she had a purpose and reason to go on. Feeling his hand in hers made her feel very happy all of the sudden. A smile crept across her face, and she turned to him only too see that he too was smiling. Though his smile seemed to be a direct result of hers.
Both Miroku and Sango turned to see Inuyasha crouching a mere three feet away from them, he pounced on Miroku and straddled him to the ground. He turned towards Sango waving a finger and said, "Uhn-uh, girlfriend. You stay away from my man!" Miroku burst out laughing, pushing Inuyasha off of him, causing both Inuyasha and Sango to collapse into fits of laughter.
This scene took five more takes to get it right.
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Chapter 8- "I do not wish Rin to see the human's blood. We will go to the springs and wash as much off as possible. You will change your kimono before I send Rin to see you." Sesshoumaru set Kagome on the ground near the springs.
She quickly grabbed a hold of him pushing him into the water. With a great splash, she pointed at him and yelled, "Death to all demons!" She then began laughing and turned to run up the hill to the castle. Sesshomaru quickly emerged from the spring, weighed down by his drenched kimono and followed after her. He quickly caught her turning her around and slowly pushed her to the ground, straddling her and stating in an emotionless voice, "You dare to defile the demon lord of the western lands' kimono and armor, human?"
With that, he began to ring his sleeves out over her face. Kagome was laughing hard, but stopped when she heard a squeak from him as he held up his tail. He screeched at her, "Look what you did to my tail!!!!" He then proceeded to ring out his drenched and matted tail over her face, causing her to begin laughing again.
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Chapter 9- Again Kagome heard a slight knock at her door. "Come in" she called out. Lord Sesshoumaru entered her room this time coming to her bed side. "Kagome, remove your Kimono." The look on her face told him he had frightened her at his request. Sesshoumaru stood for a moment, clearly forgetting what he was supposed to say.
Instead, he gave another devilish grin and launched himself at Kagome, rolling them both across the bed and onto the floor. "Come on, Kagome, take it off." Kagome was squealing and slapping at him yelling, "Hentai!!!" at the top of her lungs. She managed to pull herself onto the bed, only to be followed quickly by him, bounding onto the bed and jumping up and down. He began to remove the top of his own robes, saying, "Here, I'll do it too, just to make you more comfortable."
She glared up at him and he smiled back, very mischievously, and added, "Oh, come on, we could have a pillow fight, and sit and paint each others toe nails!" Kagome got up and ran from the room, laughing hard enough that she was about to black out. Sesshoumaru slumped onto the bed, Indian-style, and grumbled, "I guess this means I don't get to hear any new gossip."
This particular display of femininity caused everyone on set to go into hysterics. The scene was delayed until the next day, due to the fact that no one could stop from laughing when Sesshoumaru entered her room.
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Chapter 10- Miroku had Sango in an embrace and they were both sleeping peacefully. InuYasha got up and walked away from the sleeping couple. Seeing them together was beginning to get on his nerves. The next night Sango came back from a bath, and looked to where Miroku had been sleeping and noticed that he had wrapped himself up in a blanket. Sango moved over to him and asked softly, "Do you mind if I lay with you tonight?"
Sango yelped in surprise as Inuyasha popped his head out with a wicked grin gracing his lips. "Not at all," he stated and reached up pulling Sango down quickly beside him, and returning the blanket over both of their heads. Miroku broke out laughing, having been the one that thought of the joke and watched as the frightened Sango's limbs flailed wildly under the blanket and her screams of "Hentai!" echoed through the forest.
This scene was supposed to be the next night of Miroku and Sango lying together, but was taken out when she refused to do it again.
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Chapter 11- InuYasha saw Kagome only a short distance from him. He decided it was now or never. He rushed to her and put one of his arms around her and the other over her mouth. Before he could even get her name out, she was in hysterics. She was screaming so loudly that his ears could barely take it.
In only seconds Sesshoumaru was there and he quickly grabbed Inuyasha's arms, and pinned them both behind his back. Kagome turned around, and giggled at the confused look on Inuyasha's face and quickly pulled out the make-up she had brought with her.
Inuyasha thrashed wildly, sending violent threats at everyone in the vicinity, as Kagome quickly rouged his cheeks bright red and painted his lips to match. Miroku came around suppressing his laughter as much as possible, and said with a huge smile on his face, "Well, Inuyasha, you almost look good enough a woman for me to grope." An almost terrified look crossed Inuyasha's face, and he quickly snarled at the monk, "You come anywhere near me monk, and you won't have a hand to grope with anymore."
Everyone on the set broke out laughing. Sesshoumaru decidedly released Inuyasha, and with an impish smile Inuyasha lunged at the laughing monk, causing him to cower slightly. Inuyasha grabbed his shoulders and planted kisses on his cheeks, leaving lipstick on them and continued to rub his own cheeks on the monk's clothes and skin.
Miroku pushed him off, laughing to hard to see straight and the scene was delayed until both men had cleaned themselves.
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Chapter 11- She heard the sound of the castle door and saw Rin running in her direction. Sesshoumaru followed slowly, and kept his eyes on Kagome the whole time. She dropped to the ground and threw her arms around Rin. The girl was crying and it nearly broke her heart. "Rin is going to miss Kagome." She sniffed. "I'll miss you too Rin, but I will be back." Rin looked up at her hopefully.
Kagome looked over and saw Sesshoumaru crawling towards her, a fake melancholy look on his face and Kagome stood quickly, not sure if she was safe that close to the ground. He got close to her and wrapped his arms around her knees, saying, "Kagome, don't leave."
Kagome looked back at her friends who were shocked and then they all started laughing. She tried to back up a little, only accomplishing to make herself fall over. Sesshoumaru then let go of her legs and wrapped both his arms and legs around her, feigning childishness saying, "Lord Sesshoumaru will miss Kagome. Kagome can't leave." Rin looked at him and said in an amused tone, "You're so silly." Rin's comment was the last straw. Everyone was laughing so hard that they were crying, not even bothering to try to come to the rescue of Kagome.
The scene took 4 more takes to get it right.
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Chapter 12- There was a beautiful lake nearby and Sango asked Kagome to join her for a bath. The grabbed their towels and headed towards the lake. Once there they tested the water, which was a bit chilly but not cold. Kagome began to remove her clothes when she heard a gasp from Sango.
They heard a creaking from up above and Kagome quickly covered herself as Inuyasha and Miroku landed in a heap in front of them.
"Dammit, Miroku, I thought that you said it would hold us!"
"I said that I knew it would hold me, Inuyasha, I said nothing of both of us." They both looked up and realized that they had fallen closer to the girls than they had thought, and they quickly picked themselves up, looking around for an excuse.
"Ummm... we just thought that we should check on you. We heard some growling and thought that maybe... well..." They needed not finish, as both Kagome and Sango pounded them.
The scene would not be finished until security was called in. The girls refused to retry until they were sure that the guys would not be able to sneak up on them again.
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Chapter 12- InuYasha awoke to Kagome having a nightmare. Miroku and Sango were both asleep a little ways from them, but did not hear. He could tell she was struggling and he began to hear her voice. He leaned over her with one hand on both sides of her head and leaned close to her face. He drew in a deep breath and yelled, "Wake up!"
Kagome's eyes opened quickly and her arms came up defensively at the close and loud noise. Her hand connected with Inuyasha's face and he rolled over beside her, holding his cheek and laughing so hard that tears ran down his face. She sat up glaring at him, waiting for her heart rate to return to normal, and his cheek, before they could start the scene again.
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Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties
Though this did not happen in the story, the cast decided to throw a Bachelor and Bachelorette party for Sango and Miroku. Here is what happened.
The girls were gathered around the campfire, emotions running high. Kagome, Kikyo, Kagura, Sango, and other young women from the village were there. They were playing Nelly's song "Hot in Herre" waiting for the dancer that Sesshoumaru had said would be there. They heard a rustling in the bushes and pounced on the man, dragging him closer to the light to see who it was. They all giggled at the surprised look on Naraku's face.
"Ummm... I think that I'm at the wrong place." Sango and Kagura grabbed his hands and dragged him to the middle of the circle, all the girls dancing with him and trying to take his clothes off. "Or maybe not..." He began dancing for the girls and gladly accepted the money that they were shoving at him.
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The guys were sitting around a meeting hall at the village, Miroku the center of attention, surrounded by boisterous men. There was a screen door at the other end of the room and they heard Beyonce's "Naughty Girl" begin playing.
The energy in the room shot through the roof as a beautiful silhouette could be seen, dancing seductively. The screen opened slowly and a beautiful woman, her hair done up elegantly, make-up done extravagantly with a lot of rouge and a big blue diamond in the middle of her forehead, and a long flowing kimono, slipped out. She had a big white boa and she was using it to its full advantage.
She began slowly advancing towards Miroku, and he was mesmerized. He looked down as her kimono fell open slightly and he noticed that for such a beautiful woman, she was not very well endowed. As realization dawned on him, he rose from his seat and shouted, "Ghastly!" as all the men in the room burst out laughing.
Sesshoumaru stopped his tantalizing dance and came to Miroku batting his blackened eyelashes. "Well, do you think that Sango and Kagome did a good job?" Miroku looked at his feminine expression, and couldn't help but laugh with the rest of the guys.
After a while, Miroku got to looking around, and asked where Naraku was. Sesshoumaru gave him a knowing look, and said secretively, "Well, I think I told him the right place. I sure hope I didn't accidentally confuse it with the girls' party. That would be terrible." All the men in the room began to laugh and turned towards the door when they heard it open. They saw Naraku and all laughed harder.
"Yes, it would seem you sent me to the wrong party." Naraku took out all the money the women had given him, and looked back at the men. "Thank you. While you were all ogling that cross-dresser, I had beautiful women ripping my clothes off. Oh what sweet irony."
All the men took in his disheveled state, he had lipstick smeared on his face, neck, and on his chest. His clothes were torn in places and put on haphazardly. "Well, I was just showing up to congratulate and all... I have to go back." He turned towards the door glancing back over his shoulder adding, "The ladies wanted an encore." With a laugh he left, leaving all the men brooding slightly.
Thinking about it for a minute, the men decided the best course of action was to show up and crash the bachelorette party and headed off. The two parties merged into a big free-for-all, until Kaede showed up and asked them to keep it quiet. When a drunken Miroku started hitting on her, she decided it was time for everybody to go home.
Production was cancelled the next day, as no one was feeling well enough to continue.
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Chapter 13- Lady Kaede came by and looked at Sango in wonder. "You look like an angel, child." She told the girls to meet her at the shrine in 30 minutes. Miroku and InuYasha would already be there when they would arrive. When the girls got near the shrine they saw some of the local villagers had come to witness the ceremony.
Sango could see InuYasha from where they stood, but Miroku wasn't standing where he was supposed to be. Sango and Kagome walked slowly up to the alter and turned when they heard a screech from behind them.
Sango turned to see Miroku wearing an identical wedding get-up as her. Same dress, same shoes, same necklace, everything. He had his hands clasped over his mouth in mock horror and his eyes were wide with shock.
"Sango. I can't believe it. You wore the same dress as me. Our wedding is ruined!" With that said he began fake sobbing and turned, attempting to run from them, only to trip over the unaccustomed high heels. He lay on the ground fake sobbing until they turned into a fit of laughter. Nobody noticed this change, as they were too busy laughing themselves.
The shot took 5 more takes to get right.
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Chapter 14- "Well, well...if it isn't the Great Demon Lord." Naraku said menacingly. "Tell me Lord Sesshoumaru, did the human's pain bring you here?" he asked with a chuckle. Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome, who was on her knees. She looked at him and asked him to forgive her. He then turned his attention back to Naraku, who stood about twenty feet from Kagome. "Why have you not attacked me, Lord Sesshoumaru? Certainly, your demon instincts are demanding you to."
Sesshoumaru stood there for a moment, then lunged at Naraku slapping wildly. Naraku too began to slap at Sesshoumaru. The two stood with their faces turned slapping at each other, shouting out obscenities. Everyone else was in hysterics to see such villains involved in an all out cat fight. The two finally stopped and were doing their best to keep from laughing.
Suddenly, Sesshoumaru flicked his hair over his shoulder and said, "You're just mad because I'm prettier than you." He flung his tail over his shoulder and sauntered off, keeping a haughty look on his face the whole time.
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Chapter 16- Sesshoumaru felt the need to inquire about what Rin was eating. Kagome explained that it was a chocolate bar she had brought from her own era. She saw a slightly curious look pass over his face and stood "Why don't you try a small piece, most humans love chocolate." He looked as though he wouldn't take it, and then finally reached his hand towards her open palm. The three watched him put the chocolate in his mouth.
Kagome broke out into a fit of laughter as a look of shock passed over his face. He then began to cough and beg for water. He turned and ran off set, as the trick candy she just gave him nearly burned a hole in his tongue. He returned moments later still gasping for air while his eyes watered. He looked to Kagome and said in a childish voice, "Humph...It wasn't THAT hot." Everyone burst out laughing, and yet again another scene had to be put on hold.
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Chapter 17- She began to think about the reason she was with Sesshoumaru. Naraku had wanted to use her to bear him a child. Sesshoumaru had told her that a child born of a priestess and demon could have an immense amount of power that could cause havoc.
"Sesshoumaru, exactly what powers would a child born of both demon and priestess possess?" She sat there for a moment in silence, and then turned to see him staring at her wide eyed. Suddenly Sesshoumaru mustered up his most condescending tone. "Human, I do not wish to mate with you."
Kagome knew this was not part of the script and decided to play along. "But Lord Sesshoumaru, aren't you the least bit curious?" She said in her most seductive tone.
He looked thoughtful and then pounced on her. "You have aroused my interest, human...let us find out what kind of child we would spawn." Kagome began squealing and slapping at him, while she was in fits of laughter. "Hentai" she shouted again as the stage crew came to her aid.
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Chapter 17- . The family sat down for dinner that night and then Kagome enjoyed a nice bath. Kagome went back to her room, wrapped in a fluffy bath robe. When she opened her door, she stood there in shock for several seconds, before she fell into a fit of laughter.
In front of her Sesshoumaru was sitting Indian Style on her bed, in front of him InuYasha was squeezed into one of her school uniforms checking himself out in the mirror. Sesshoumaru mustered up his best feminine voice as he said "that thing is positively indecent, but you really do have the legs for it." InuYasha looked towards Kagome jetting his leg out in front of him seductively "Hey, you know what Kagome? I look better in this than you do." Again laughter ensued, as the two were removed from the set so that the scene could take place.
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Chapter 18- She had a nice dinner with her family and enjoyed one last bath. She was anxious, knowing that Sesshoumaru would be staying near the village. She didn't think he would cause any problems with InuYasha since Rin was with him, but that didn't guarantee that InuYasha wouldn't be the one to start the problems.
She gave a deep sigh, beginning to remove her towel; she opened her closet door to retrieve her clothes. The very shocked faces of Miroku and Sesshoumaru were brought to light, and Kagome brought her towel back around her, screaming. A flustered Miroku sputtered incoherently, as a frightened Sesshoumaru quickly stuttered, "K-Kagome, you were supposed to get your clothes out of the wardrobe!"
A fuming Kagome slammed the closet door back shut, and leaned against it as the bedroom door burst open, a worried InuYasha entering. "Kagome, are you... Aahh!!" InuYasha quickly dodged the hairbrush coming towards his head and looked back at her slightly annoyed, only to notice her state of undress. He stood there staring wide eyed for a moment, and then became flustered as he heard Sesshoumaru's voice shouting "Grab her towel, InuYasha!" InuYasha quickly blushed and fled the room.
An enraged Kagome ripped the closet door open, bringing a quick end to the intense laughter from inside. "Get out of my room, NOW!" The two wasted no time in running from the fuming woman, and the scene was cut short.
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Chapter 19- Kagome heard Sesshoumaru outside and went out to see if he had brought Kouga along. To her surprise he did not have Kouga with him.
"Sesshoumaru, where is Kouga?" He gave her a solemn look.
"It would seem that the wolf had plans of his own. He gave up the jewel shards quite willingly, and continued to surprise me by flinging himself over a cliff. In an unrelated topic, anyone else care to call me Fluffy?"
He said this with as much monotony as he could muster, although the final statement had been laced with the threat of death. Everyone on the set was silent, until a wicked smile played across his face. This caused everyone to burst out laughing, delaying yet another scene.
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Chapter 21- Kouga looked up and saw InuYasha running towards Kagome and Kikyo, both of which were pointing arrows at the other. Naraku readied what appeared to be a large ball of pure energy. Before he realized what he was doing, Kouga tackled InuYasha, just before the ball hit him. He landed on top of InuYasha, staring down into his face.
He sat there for a few seconds, looking around for some clue as to what his lines were, and gave up blurting out, "You know what, Mutt Face, you got purdy eyes." InuYasha turned red and burst out laughing, rolling Kouga off of him. It took seven more takes for InuYasha and Kouga to keep from laughing, and four more following to finally get it right.
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Chapter 21- Sesshoumaru looked back for his Tenseiga. He knew that going for it would allow time for Naraku to kill Kagome. She was trying to get to his half brother and knew not of Naraku's intention. Kagome was directly between Naraku and Sesshoumaru, with her back to Naraku. He rushed towards her and at the last minute scooped her up into his arms, and ran off the set giggling maniacally, while shouting "The human is mine!"
Everyone burst out in laughter as once again, they could hear Kagome shouting out "Hentai" between gales of laughter as Sesshoumaru carried her out of sight.
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Chapter 22- Kagome turned towards Naraku, calling to him in her mind. Once she caught his eyes they froze in a look of fear. Naraku suddenly realized he could not take his eyes off the girl. Nor could he move his body. Her eyes continued to penetrate into him as she walked menacingly towards him, taking her time so that she could savor the sight of him cowering.
Suddenly Naraku eyes danced with amusement as he said "I don't know about you, but I am soooo turned on right now..." Kagome doubled over laughing, and had to retreat so that she could prepare to start over again. The scene had to be shot the next day, as prolonged eye contact with Naraku caused Kagome to burst out laughing.
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Chapter 22- Sango appeared a moment later and shooed Sesshoumaru out of the hut, so that she could help Kagome up. Sango had brought Kagome a bathing robe and was helping her undress as Miroku was peaking in through a crack in the window.
He cowered as Sesshoumaru came up beside him and grabbed his shoulder menacingly. Sesshoumaru looked at him seriously and brought his finger to his lips, shushing the monk. Then, a devilish smile grew slowly on his lips as he brought his own face to the crack in the window, causing Miroku to burst out laughing.
Sesshoumaru turned to him worriedly crying, "You idiot! They heard us. Run!" Kagome and Sango stepped out of the room, covered in robes, just in time to see Miroku and Sesshoumaru running off. Everyone on the set was laughing, and laughed harder as Sango and Kagome turned to everybody trying to find out what had happened.
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Chapter 24- Though InuYasha loved Kikyo dearly, his thoughts often wondered to Kagome. He wanted to know if she was ok in her own time. One day he ventured to the well, memories of Kagome bringing a smile to his face.
Out of sheer curiosity he jumped down the well; there was a splash followed by an ear piercing scream, as InuYasha dropped into four feet of ice-cold water. Everyone on set stood around dumbfounded, as a very angry InuYasha clawed his was out of the well. He was dripping wet and his puppy ears were laid flat against his head.
He turned his head from side to side, looking at everybody, and promised death to the one that had done it. At this, everyone turned in shock as Sango shook in laughter and took off being chased by InuYasha. Everyone was laughing as a taunting Sango easily avoided a cursing InuYasha, as he stumbled constantly over his cold and wet Kimono.
A/N: Ummm...well what is there to say. I'm an odd person. Hope you enjoyed these. I'll be adding a payback scene shortly. The girls deserve to get a little revenge on a few hentai.